20. Cian
Cian
L ight crept in, faded, then the blackness descended—time and again, it happened.
With the light came the pain. When it receded, I was left with only the blackness surrounding me.
I floated aimlessly, alone in a never-ending sea of confusion.
I knew I had to be somewhere—doing something—but what, I didn’t know. I was too tired to figure it out.
Voices would drift by, words sometimes unclear, other times slightly penetrating the fogginess. Some voices I didn’t know, their words meaningless.
Needs time to heal…
By all indications, he should…
As his doctor, all you I can say is hope for the best…
Doctor? Why would there be a doctor here?
One voice was familiar, and it made me want to find my way back to the light.
I tried to get there sooner…
I can’t lose him…
Why isn’t he waking up?
Sean? Why could I hear Sean? He was dead. Because of me, he was dead—wasn’t he? Was I dead?
Then I heard a voice that stirred something. Its soft cadence was buried inside my head and trailed through my chest, making my heart race.
Come back to me, Cian. You promised. I’m waiting.
Please…don’t leave me alone again. I won’t survive without you. I love you.
I had to get back to that voice.
Skylar.
M y eyes fluttered and opened, blinking at the bright light of the room. They drifted shut, feeling too heavy to stay open. The light touch on my cheek felt familiar, and with great effort, I lifted my lids.
Skylar’s face swam into view, blurry and fuzzy—but it was her.
I tried to talk, but no sound came out. Pain registered in my body.
I hurt all over, especially in my torso, which burned with a fiery ache.
My hand flew to my neck, clawing at the skin, when I realized something was lodged in my throat, stopping me from speaking.
Skylar’s hand covered mine. “Cian. I need you to relax. There’s a tube in your throat helping you breathe. You need to stop fighting, okay?”
My confused gaze met hers. She looked so tired—and hurt. She was covered in bruises, and she had a large bandage on her head.
How did she get hurt? Why couldn’t I breathe on my own? Where the hell was I?
I grasped her hand, holding it tight, the panic swelling.
There was movement behind her, voices talking, then a stranger came beside my bed, holding a needle.
I tried to stop her, beginning to thrash, the pain intensifying to the point that tears ran down my face.
Skylar was sobbing, her face now hidden from my view.
Sean suddenly appeared, leaning over me, his gaze locked on mine.
“Calm down, Cian. Listen to me. Stop fighting. You’re safe. Skylar is safe. We’re all okay.”
Sean was here. Skylar was here. They weren’t dead. I wasn’t dead.
I lifted my hand, and he grasped it, his voice low and reassuring. “Rest. I have your girl and she’s fine. It’s over.”
I could feel myself fading, the blackness creeping back in. I tried holding his hand harder, but my fingers refused to cooperate. Sean patted my shoulder. “We’ll be here when you’re ready to wake up.” He lifted my hand and placed it in Skylar’s, who smiled at me even as the tears ran down her face.
“Listen to him, fuckwit. For once, just listen to him.”
And I was gone.
T he next time I woke up, the room was dim. I blinked, turning my head, and was met with Sean’s weary gaze. He smiled, sitting straight and leaning forward.
“Cian, there were complications. You have a breathing tube in your throat. Don’t try to speak and don’t panic. Blink twice if you understand me.”
It took me a minute to get coordinated enough to follow his instructions, but finally, I blinked.
“Good. Once you’re awake a bit, they’ll remove the tube.”
I blinked again, then moved my gaze around.
“You’re in the hospital.”
I kept looking around, and he smiled. “Skylar is asleep. Julia and the doctors convinced her to rest a little. She has barely left your side.”
I frowned.
“You’ve been out for a few days.”
I lifted my shaking hand and tried to make the letter O. He understood what I was trying to ask.
“Orson is dead. The entire organization is in disarray. We shut it down, Cian. Totally.”
I closed my eyes in relief and frustration.
I wanted to know what had happened. How we’d come out alive.
I could remember some things and not others.
I wanted to know all of it. Opening my eyes back up, I tapped my neck impatiently, and he smirked.
“Your patience hasn’t improved, I see. I’ll go get the doctor and check on your girl. ”
I waved my hand, watching as he left the room, wondering if he could maybe go a little faster. I needed to be able to talk. I needed to know what had happened.
My eyes drifted shut, and memories crept through the fogginess.
The confrontation with Orson. Seeing Skylar scared and hurt.
Rex not giving away who Skylar was. All those details were clear in my mind, but then things got fuzzy.
I remembered the yelling and Orson’s sneers and threats.
I touched my chest as the skewed image of a knife came to mind. I had been stabbed. Orson stabbed me.
Skylar was behind me, screaming. Orson smiling that horrible, cold smile. Then he had a gun. My gun—and the remote. I watched him press the button, but there hadn’t been an explosion. Why wasn’t I dead? Why weren’t we all dead?
I fought against the panic I could feel building. If I was alive and Sean was here, that meant Skylar was too. I had heard her voice. I had seen her—hadn’t I? Sean said she was sleeping. She was all right.
Right?
I opened my eyes, fixing my stare on the door.
I needed answers, and I needed them now.
M y throat hurt like hell when the tube was out. The ice chips soothed the fire, but the raw ache was still there. My voice sounded as though I’d been gargling with sandpaper.
“Where is Skylar?”
Sean ran a hand over his face. He looked wasted. “I told you she was sleeping.”
There was something he wasn’t telling me. “Is she hurt?” I demanded and cleared my throat. “More than the bruises I saw on her face and her neck?”
He hesitated, and my stomach clenched. She was hurt.
“How bad?” I whispered, finding it difficult to form any words. Had Orson cut her throat deeper than I thought?
“She’ll be fine, Cian. I swear. Fuck —stop looking at me like that. I promise you she is resting. She was here with you the whole time you were out. She pushed herself too hard, but once we were sure you’d be okay, Julia convinced her to rest.”
I looked over at the empty space beside me. “Why isn’t she there?”
He shrugged. “Hospital policy.”
“Fuck that,” I growled. “I want her close.”
He rolled his eyes. “Good God, the two of you are killing me. She refused to leave your room and put up such a fuss, eventually, the doctor caved. We managed to get her to her own room to rest, and now you want her back.” He leaned his head back, gazing up to the ceiling. “I’m too old for this shit.”
“I’ll leave it alone for now. Let her rest,” I agreed grudgingly. “But I want her back in here when she wakes up. Give them money. Whatever it takes for the doctor to bend the fucking policy. I want her close.” I swallowed the burning sensation that was increasing in my chest. “I need her close.”
He lifted his head and studied me for a moment, then nodded. “I’ll arrange it.”
“What happened?”
“What do you remember?”
“Orson stabbed me, and he had my gun.”
“He shot you as well.”
“And Skylar?”
He sighed, leaning closer, resting his elbows on his thighs. “The bullet went right through you, Cian. Skylar was behind you. It struck her temple.”
My heart began to pound so hard, I thought it would beat through my chest. “I thought…I thought you said she’d be okay? She was shot in the head?” I gasped as I attempted to get up, the need to see her screaming through my body.
Sean stood, holding me to the mattress by my shoulders. The pain stopped me cold. “Cian! Calm down. She is fine. I swear she is.”
“But…”
“The bullet slowed down going through your thick, stubborn flesh. The way she was angled behind you, it hit her head, but only grazed it—luckily. It was deep, but it didn’t enter her brain. There was a lot of blood and it took stitches to close it, but she’s recovering and she’ll be okay.”
I stared up at him, searching his eyes to be sure he was telling me the truth.
I saw only honesty in his tired gaze. He smiled at me.
“She’s tough, Cian. She fought them all the way here to be close to you and caused such a scene in the ER, they finally brought her to you.
The only way she’d let them stitch her up was to have it done while you were in surgery.
She’s barely left your side. The doctor had to threaten her today to get her to rest. Between the gunshot and the knife cut on her neck, she lost a lot of blood. But she is going to heal.”
A shuddering sigh of relief left my body, and I sank back down, fighting my own smile. That sounded like my Kitten. Stubborn as all hell.
Sean sat down. “Are you calm enough to listen now?”
My hand was shaking as I reached for another ice chip. I popped it into my mouth, letting the cold soothe the burn. “Yeah.”
“After I heard your warning about Larry, I was waiting. I knew something had happened. He only made it in the room a few steps before I put a bullet between his eyes.” Sean smiled grimly. “He barely had time to reach for his gun, that fucker.”
I nodded, letting him talk.
“When I realized Skylar was in the building, I knew our cover was blown or at least in jeopardy of being blown. I contacted Frank, who told me Skylar wasn’t at the farmhouse when he got there, and they couldn’t locate her.
I told him to bring in the reinforcements stat—that we were in trouble.
He said they were already on their way. Then I got busy and started all the destruction, before trying to get to you. ”
“Rex…” My voice trailed off in thought.
“A good guy—like us—but with a different arm of the law. He’d been undercover way longer than we were.
He was trying to figure out who else had infiltrated.
” Sean shook his head. “A perfect example of bureaucracy gone bad. Neither organization would share information or confirm they had someone on the inside.”
“How?”
“The fire Rex was in? He never recovered. It was the perfect cover—the loss of voice, the changes to his face, some of his missing memory—all could be explained by the accident. They put in Agent Clark while Rex was still on life support. Orson never suspected a thing. Agent Clark had been slowly gathering evidence until you showed up.”
“Wish I’d known. It would have saved us a lot of work.”
Sean barked out a laugh. “What did you want him to do? Shake your hand and ask if you were undercover like him? Both of you were far too good at your job. He was as convinced you were really Anthony as you were he was Rex.”
I grinned a little—he was right. “That’s why he didn’t give Skylar up.”
Sean nodded. “When Orson sent him to get her, she opened the door, expecting Frank. When he saw her, he knew right away what was happening. Skylar was, ah, not happy to see him.”
“Did he do that to her face? The bruises?” I asked, planning on returning the favor, regardless of how it had happened.
“No. Orson did those, and the rest was an accident. She was so panicked when she saw Rex, she tried to run. She tripped and hit her face on the step, splitting her lip. But it added a convincing note to the story he told Orson about having to subdue her. He told her the whole story before he took her to Orson. He helped her—and us. He took the first shot at Orson.”
“There was a second?” I rasped.
“I took the kill shot,” Sean stated smugly. “I was done with that fucker.”
I arched my eyebrow at him.
“He already took my brother, and I thought he’d taken both you and Skylar.
” He leaned forward, scrubbing his face with his hands.
When he dropped his hand, his eyes were watery.
“There was so much blood, Cian. I thought you were both gone. I didn’t care about the case or jail for him.
I wanted to be the one who sent him to hell. ”
I held out my hand, and he grasped it. “You’re like my own son, Cian. I thought I’d lost you. My rage knew no bounds. If I could have, I would have resuscitated him so I could kill him again.”
“I’m okay, Sean.”
He let out a deep sigh. “Thank God.”
I groaned, feeling the weight of my injuries pressing down on me. My chest hurt, my shoulder ached, and my head felt about five times the size of my body. I shut my eyes, the darkness soothing the pain that pounded in my head.
“You need some meds?”
“Yeah.”
Sean left the room, returning a few moments later with the doctor. He bustled around, checking me over, and my eyes fluttered open as he added something to my IV.
“I need Skylar brought in here,” I mumbled.
“I’ll take care of it, Cian,” Sean assured me.
“It’s against our policy,” the doctor tutted.
“What about a nice donation to the hospital?” Sean suggested. “Maybe a new MRI machine? I heard the nurses say the one you have is always backed up.”
Their voices faded as they moved away from my bed. I drifted a little, opening my eyes when I heard Sean come back.
“Well?”
“You’ll be getting a new roommate.”
I relaxed into the pillow. “Good.”
“Rest, Cian. We’ll talk more later.”
There was still one thing I didn’t understand. I forced my eyes open.
“Why didn’t the room blow? I saw Orson press the remote,” I asked, picturing the scene in my head. “I heard something explode.”
Sean’s chuckle was low. “No, you heard doors being kicked in and windows being blown out around the compound. I’ll let you ask MacGyver for that information. She’s pretty proud of herself. I’m sure she’ll tell you all about it.”
“Her bubblegum ideas finally worked?” I mumbled, feeling the pull of the powerful drugs.
“She was brilliant.” He patted my shoulder. “You’ll be so proud.”
I sighed, letting sleep take me. “I already am.”