Chapter 52
Jeremiah
The cool breeze blew across the lake, leaving its chill against my face as I looked around the park.
The sun was threatening to set soon and I still hadn’t found Sadie.
I reached in my pocket for my phone to check the time, only to remember the battery was dead.
I sighed frustratedly as I slipped it back in the pocket of my jacket.
I buttoned the top button to keep the crisp fall air from biting.
I headed down the winding path toward a small fountain surrounded by park benches. That was when I saw her, her familiar red hair flowing over the back of a bench. My pace quickened as I went to her. I rested my hand gently on her shoulder.
“Sadie…” I said, relief washing over me.
But it soon disappeared as the woman turned and gave me a confused look. It wasn’t Sadie. And she wasn’t exactly happy my hand was wrapped around her shoulder.
“Excuse me?” she said sharply.
I quickly removed my hand and put them up in defense. “I apologize. I thought you were someone else.”
She hmphed before grabbing her purse from the bench and walking quickly away.
I watched her go, sighing before taking a seat.
The bench was still warm from where the stranger sat.
I looked up at the sky and shook my head at the gathering clouds, dark and gray. A reflection of what my mind felt like.
The day had gone from bad to worse. All day I had been receiving calls from the press. Emails from my lawyer. Worried texts from Luke. I ignored everything, until my phone decided it had had enough too and powered down. I wished it were that easy for me to shut out the world. But it wasn’t.
The article was still out there, and there were more sure to follow. Maybe not front-page newsworthy, but follow-ups on the sensationalized scandal Anderson had planted. Just to remind people of the mess that was my life. I leaned forward and ran my palms down my face.
I wondered if Sadie had read it. Of course, she had.
All of New York had. And if she somehow hadn’t, I was sure someone had told her all about it.
I just hoped she knew me better than the writer made me out to be.
An ex-con. A tyrant. A womanizer. A greedy asshole who would stop at nothing to get ahead, no matter who it hurt.
Maybe some of it was true. Or at least it was.
I was no ex-con, but I had been greedy. A little too ambitious.
Vengeful when it came to taking everything from Anderson.
Used women for sex and moved onto the next.
Took over companies with force and fear as my weapons.
Hell, the article wasn’t that far off from who I used to be.
Before Sadie.
And now I had dragged her into this mess. I was relieved to find her name not printed in the paper, but it still couldn’t be easy for her. Having her personal life splashed on the front pages for others’ entertainment. Her relationship with me. Her pregnancy.
This was a fucking mess.
I stood from the bench suddenly and made for the pathway leading up to the street and my apartment. I needed to be in the privacy of my home with a bourbon in hand as I tried to sort everything out.
As I walked up toward my building, I saw a slew of paparazzi outside armed with their cameras as the usual doorman tried to shoo them away through the glass. My stomach sank. I should have been prepared for these leeches, desperate for more. Desperate for a shot at me.
The doorman spotted me from across the street and gave me a knowing nod.
He was ready. I checked traffic before sprinting across the busy street, pulling my jacket up over my head as he quickly pushed the door open for me to enter.
The paparazzi were ready, though. Their excited yells filled my ears as they shoved each other, their cameras ramming into me as I ran past.
“Jeremiah!”
“What do you have to say for yourself?”
“What was prison like?”
“Is it a boy or a girl?”
“Was it consensual?”
Their questions rang in my ears as I quickly thanked the doorman and strode toward the elevators.
Safely inside, I let out a rattled sigh and pulled my jacket down.
My exhaustion hit me like a ton of bricks.
I leaned against the mirrored wall of the elevator and hung my head.
I could feel the weight of all my mistakes, from twenty-something years ago to present day, pushing down on my shoulders.
I had been so wrapped up in hiding them, that I overlooked the one thing that mattered.
Sadie.
I had bulldozed over her in an effort to make sure she did everything my way, claiming I knew best. Claiming I knew this world better than her and she should follow my lead.
But look where that got us. Making decisions for her had only pushed her away.
And why shouldn’t it? I gave her no room to breathe.
No wonder she left me. No wonder they left me.
Everyone left.
Sadie.
Our baby.
My parents.
Sadie and the baby were just another set of hairline fractures to my already fucked-up heart.
I pinched the bridge of my nose tiredly.
When the doors of the elevator doors opened, the ding filled the silence of the fortress I had made for myself up here at the top of the world.
I wasn’t sure I could bear being up here alone tonight.
But when I stepped off the elevator, I realized I wasn’t.
There stood Sadie, leaning against the wall next to my door.
I sucked in a breath, biting back the tears that stung the backs of my eyes.
She was a sight for sore eyes. Like coming home, and I didn’t mean my apartment.
My eyes looked her over worriedly, until they fell on her midsection.
She was really showing now. It had only been a few days since I saw her last, but she seemed to have popped.
All I wanted was to rush to her, and gently hold her. Hold her small, round belly. But I hesitated. I didn’t want to scare her away. I wasn’t sure why she was here.
She looked up at me and I swore there was relief in her glistening eyes.
“I’ve been looking for you…” she said softly. “I tried calling and calling.”
I reached in my pocket and pulled out my phone. “My battery died.”
She nodded.
“I’ve been looking for you, too,” I said, slipping my phone back in my pocket and taking a wary step toward her. Her breath seemed to catch at my approach. I stopped in my tracks.
“Do you want to come in?” I asked, gesturing toward the door of my apartment.
“Sure.” She clutched her fingers nervously. “I have my key. I just didn’t know if I should use it…”
I nodded sadly. I hated that she didn’t feel like this was her home anymore.
I turned the key in the lock and pushed the door open wide.
She slipped past me and stood unsurely in the living room.
As she looked anywhere but me, I placed my keys on the table by the door and stole a glance her way.
She looked beautiful as ever, but her face glowed even more.
Her cheeks were rosy, complementing her auburn hair that fell over her one shoulder.
I still couldn’t believe how much her body had changed.
Even in all black, I could see the outline or her perfect bump.
I wanted to hold her. To kiss her. To just be near her.
As if feeling my gaze, her emerald eyes found mine. The unsureness in them made my insides ache.
“I went by the office today,” she said softly. “I heard about what you said…”
I was taken aback. If only I had stayed there, we wouldn’t have missed each other.
“Why did you do it?” she asked, tilting her head to one side and looking at me curiously.
“Because it should never have been a secret. You. The baby. Us. Any of it.” I took a single step toward her as if testing if it were okay.
She swallowed hard, lifting her chin slightly. Her usual move when she was trying to stay strong. I couldn’t help but hold back a smile, knowing how well I knew her. She was stronger than I had ever given her credit for. I saw that now.
“I read the article,” she said grimly.
“You did,” I said, more as a statement than a question.
She nodded.
“And?” I asked, my voice shook.
“I don’t believe a word of it,” she said firmly.
I let out a deep breath of relief. “You don’t?”
“Nope.” She gave me a weak smile. “Anderson is an ass. A desperate one, at that.”
I raised my brows in agreeance before closing more of the distance between us.
“But now the world knows about us…” she said.
“Doesn’t matter.” I shook my head.
She looked at me surprised.
“I love you, Sadie.” I put my hands gently on her arms, sliding them down until they met her hands. I held them tightly.
She blinked a few times as my words registered. “Y-you love me?” she whispered, her eyes searching mine.
“I do.” I smiled. “And I want to take care of you, but not in a way that makes you feel small. I want you to take up space. I want you to be who you are. Do what you want. And I want to worship you for it because that’s what you deserve.”
Her eyes began to tear up as she pressed her lips tightly together in an effort to hold them in. I ran my thumbs over her smooth knuckles, savoring the touch I thought I had lost.
“I know I’ve screwed up. Again and again. I thought I was trying to protect you, but I only ended up hurting you. It kills me. Looking back, I was an idiot. I was only looking out for me. My best interests. It’s what I’ve always done because I had to. But then you came along…”
I leaned down and pressed my forehead to hers, reaching up to wipe away her tears that now streamed down her cheeks. I gently held her face against my palms.
“You changed everything,” I whispered.
“Jeremiah…” she said softly, her eyes closing, and it was like a perfect melody to my ears.
“I want to make it up to you. I want to prove myself to you,” I said insistently. “The question is, and what I should have asked more, is what do you want?”
Her eyes slowly fluttered open and found mine. It was a beautiful sight.
“I want this. All of this.” She reached her hand up and found mine, while her other hand fell to her stomach, cradling it gently.
“Oh, thank God,” I breathed out before pulling her in for a kiss.
She giggled, her laugh tickling my lips. It was the sound of forgiveness. I kissed her ten more times on the lips before she pulled away, giving me her usual sassy smirk I couldn’t get enough of.
“Does this mean you’re going to stop being such an ass?” she asked, raising a brow.
I laughed out loud. “Didn’t you hear any of my speech?” I asked.
She grinned up at me. “Yes, I was just making sure.”
I shook my head at her before leaning in to kiss her again, but she stopped me, putting a gentle hand to my mouth. I looked at her curiously.
“I love you, too,” she whispered before pulling her hand away.
I wrapped my arms around her as her words healed the broken parts of me, pulling her in for a long kiss.