35. From the texts of Lyin’ Snake and Sugar Bear
Chapter 35
From the texts of Lyin’ Snake and Sugar Bear
Sugar Bear:
I really need to talk to you. I have questions.
Lyin’ Snake:
You can ask me anything. I promise I’ll be honest with you. How are you doing, by the way?
Sugar Bear:
Pretty shitty. Thanks for asking.
Lyin’ Snake:
I miss you.
Sugar Bear:
Don’t do that. This isn’t about us.
Lyin’ Snake:
Okay. What do you want to ask? Do we need to talk about it over the phone or face-to-face?
Sugar Bear:
Over the phone? Hilarious.
Lyin’ Snake:
I could come see you. I’d like to talk to you anyhow. I have news.
Sugar Bear:
I don’t think that’s a good idea.
Lyin’ Snake:
Whatever you want is fine with me, sugar bear. Last thing I want to do is make anything harder for you.
Sugar Bear:
Don’t try to be nice to me.
Lyin’ Snake:
Do you want me to be mean to you?
Sugar Bear:
Enough flirting. I have some questions about my father.
Lyin’ Snake:
What do you want to know?
Sugar Bear:
How do you know he’s my father?
Lyin’ Snake:
His name is listed on a birth registration form your real mother filled out in the hospital. She wanted him on the birth certificate, but since she was unmarried, your father would have needed to come forward and make a paternity claim before being added. He was deployed at the time, and I suspect he had no idea she was even pregnant. The corrected registration form was submitted after your mother passed away, and it didn’t list him. Only her. When your grandparents legally adopted you, a new birth certificate was created. When I did a deep search to find any skeletons in Big Al’s closet, that’s when I found it.
Sugar Bear:
My grandparents had a fake birth certificate made with their names on it?
Lyin’ Snake:
No. It’s legit. It happens with adoptions in most cases.
Sugar Bear:
Do you have any idea why Papa told me that my father died in the war?
Lyin’ Snake:
No, sweetness. I don’t know why. You could ask your mother. More than likely, she’s the only one who knows.
Sugar Bear:
Next question. Is there any chance my father led my mother to believe that he died?
Lyin’ Snake:
. . .
Sugar Bear:
Hang on, that didn’t come out right.
Sugar Bear:
What I mean is... did he maybe fake his death, as far as my family knew, to avoid having to take care of a baby? Maybe he had a friend send a letter to my mom saying he was dead.
Lyin’ Snake:
Lettie, your father is the most honorable man I’ve ever known. I believe wholeheartedly that if he knew you existed, he would have been there for you from day one.
Sugar Bear:
So my grandparents lied. There’s no other possible explanation.
Lyin’ Snake:
I can’t think of any other reason. I’m sorry. I know that’s not the answer you wanted to hear.
Sugar Bear:
I wanted to hear the truth. I think we’ve all had enough lies for one lifetime, don’t you?
Lyin’ Snake:
Can I come see you?
Sugar Bear:
Are you having memory problems, old man? We’ve already discussed this.
Lyin’ Snake:
I just smiled for the first time in days.
Sugar Bear:
Wow. Good for you.
Lyin’ Snake:
I know you’re being sarcastic. And that made me smile again.
Sugar Bear:
Oh yeah, that’s right. You like it when I’m bratty now.
Lyin’ Snake:
I figured out why.
Sugar Bear:
Why?
Lyin’ Snake:
Because it meant that my Lettie—my sugar bear—was still inside there. They didn’t break her.
Sugar Bear:
No, they didn’t.
Lyin’ Snake:
Have you smiled lately, Lettie?
Sugar Bear:
Maybe once or twice. I can’t recall.
Lyin’ Snake:
I bet I could make you smile if I was there.
Sugar Bear:
Oh really? How would you do that?
Lyin’ Snake:
You always smiled when you were sitting on my face.
Sugar Bear:
I suppose I did.
Lyin’ Snake:
You also tended to smile a lot when you were riding my cock, and I had my finger in your ass.
Sugar Bear:
I don’t think we should continue this conversation anymore.
Lyin’ Snake:
I’m sorry. I can’t help myself.
Sugar Bear:
About what this time?
Lyin’ Snake:
I’m sorry about everything, but right now, I was apologizing for getting off topic. You have more questions about your father, don’t you?
Sugar Bear:
I do. I also have questions about you and me.
Lyin’ Snake:
Ask away.
Sugar Bear:
If you knew about me for all those years, then we didn’t meet by chance at that gas station, did we?
Lyin’ Snake:
No, baby.
Sugar Bear:
You were watching me?
Lyin’ Snake:
Yes.
Sugar Bear:
For how long?
Lyin’ Snake:
Since you got to Florida. I knew the day you got here.
Sugar Bear:
How?
Lyin’ Snake:
I’ll tell you if you want to know. But does it matter how?
Sugar Bear:
I want to know everything. I deserve to know.
Lyin’ Snake:
I had alerts set up for you. Social media. Bank statements. And when you checked in at the hotel.
Sugar Bear:
So that explains how you knew I got into town, but how did you know where to find me that day at the gas pump?
Lyin’ Snake:
Before I answer, I need you to know I did things I’m not proud of. None of what I did changes how much you mean to me, how much I love you, and how our relationship developed. At the time, this was all for your protection and for your father.
Sugar Bear:
Noted. Now talk.
Lyin’ Snake:
This would be so much better if I could see you when I explain.
Sugar Bear:
I really don’t think that’s a good idea.
Lyin’ Snake:
Why?
Sugar Bear:
Because even though I’m mad at you, my vagina is not.
Lyin’ Snake:
Sugar, even if you don’t ever plan on giving me another chance, my body is here for you.
Sugar Bear:
I beg your pardon.
Lyin’ Snake:
I mean, I’m willing to take care of all your physical needs. Anything you need to help you retake control of your body. I think you were going through some hyper sexual response. If that’s still the case, you can use me any way you need to. No strings attached.
Sugar Bear:
I think that’s what Mama used to call getting the milk for free.
Lyin’ Snake:
Well, I see your point. But it’s not exactly relevant in this case.
Sugar Bear:
Why not?
Lyin’ Snake:
Because I would absolutely buy the cow.
Sugar Bear:
Did you just call me a cow?
Lyin’ Snake:
Well, with the analogy, I guess, but... I don’t. I mean. Shit. You brought it up. Not me.
Sugar Bear:
I bet your cheeks are all red now. Doing that thing you do when you get embarrassed over something you said.
Lyin’ Snake:
How about a video call?
Sugar Bear:
No. Stop asking.
Lyin’ Snake:
Sorry.
Sugar Bear:
Now I’m not sure if I want to ask you more about how you were spying on me or if I want to know more about this buying-the-milk situation.
Lyin’ Snake:
It’s buying the cow or getting the milk for free.
Sugar Bear:
I’m changing the subject before you call me a cow again and make me cry.
Lyin’ Snake:
Of all the reasons I’ve given you to cry, I refuse to believe the hypothetical cow and milk situation is what’s doing it.
Sugar Bear:
Fair point.
Lyin’ Snake:
What else did you want to ask me?
Sugar Bear:
How did you find me at the gas pump that day?
Lyin’ Snake:
This is a hard one to explain. I wish I could see your reaction so I don’t upset you any more than I already have.
Sugar Bear:
Well, that’s not possible right now.
Lyin’ Snake:
Yeah, I know. Because of the whole “vagina still liking me” thing, right? For what it’s worth, my cock will always be very fond of you.
Sugar Bear:
Damn it. Now I’m going to have to take care of something before I can continue this conversation.
Lyin’ Snake:
I can come and take care of it.
Sugar Bear:
Persistent today, aren’t you?
Lyin’ Snake:
I still want you. Desperately. You should know I have every intention of winning you back. Say the word, and I’ll be there.
Sugar Bear:
I don’t think that’ll go over very well.
Lyin’ Snake:
What makes you say that?
Sugar Bear:
If you showed up here, Stella would murder you.
Lyin’ Snake:
She’s pretty pissed off, isn’t she?
Sugar Bear:
Yes, she is. She doesn’t know you the way I do.
Lyin’ Snake:
So you aren’t pissed off?
Sugar Bear:
I didn’t say that.
Lyin’ Snake:
You’re just not as pissed off as Stella?
Sugar Bear:
It’s complicated.
Lyin’ Snake:
Is that a no on me taking care of any of your needs? I’m not afraid of Stella.
Sugar Bear:
You probably should be.
Lyin’ Snake:
If you needed me, I would be there for you. Stella or no Stella.
Sugar Bear:
I know.
Lyin’ Snake:
I guess I need to tell you how I knew you needed help at the gas pump that day, right?
Sugar Bear:
Yes, please.
Lyin’ Snake:
Those manners.
Sugar Bear:
Sorry about that.
Sugar Bear:
Oops. Damn, I just did it again. My bad.
Lyin’ Snake:
I saw your bank account was dwindling, and you were searching the internet for employment.
Sugar Bear:
Wow. So you were just digitally stalking me, huh?
Lyin’ Snake:
I’m sorry.
Sugar Bear:
Was it only digital? Because knowing I’m broke and knowing I was going to be crying at a gas pump are two different things.
Lyin’ Snake:
I had a tracker on your car. I still do.
Sugar Bear:
My phone?
Lyin’ Snake:
Yes.
Sugar Bear:
For the phone, was it just for tracking my location?
Lyin’ Snake:
No.
Sugar Bear:
What all did you have access to? My text messages? Emails? Apps?
Lyin’ Snake:
All that and more.
Sugar Bear:
What else is there?
Lyin’ Snake:
Phone calls. Video calls. Your camera and microphone.
Sugar Bear:
Oh my gosh. Did you access those?
Lyin’ Snake:
Yes.
Sugar Bear:
Why?
Lyin’ Snake:
At first, I was trying to find out why you were in town. At the time, Redleg was going through a lawsuit, which put Big Al under a ton of stress. You showing up at that time had the potential to rock his world. In order to prepare him and help him through it, I had to find out why you were here and what the situation was. That’s how it started.
Sugar Bear:
You mean me being his daughter? Is that the “situation” you’re talking about?
Lyin’ Snake:
Yes. And now I feel like I said that the wrong way. This is why I wanted to be with you when we talked. I can’t tell how pissed you are because of how I said something. And I don’t mean to upset you. Ever.
Sugar Bear:
You can safely assume everything you say right now is upsetting me.
Lyin’ Snake:
You deserve to be pissed, but I don’t want to make it worse.
Sugar Bear:
Back to the topic. Quit trying to distract my squirrel. So were you listening to my few phone calls? Or were you accessing the microphone to hear what I was doing?
Lyin’ Snake:
Both.
Sugar Bear:
Wow. And I thought I was pissed at you before.
Lyin’ Snake:
I won’t ever lie to you again.
Sugar Bear:
Okay, let’s test that.
Lyin’ Snake:
Ask anything. Whatever you want to know.
Sugar Bear:
Did you know all the websites I went on?
Lyin’ Snake:
Yes.
Sugar Bear:
And the e-books I was reading?
Lyin’ Snake:
Yes. And the meals that you ordered. And yes, the other thing that you’re thinking.
Sugar Bear:
How do you know what I’m thinking?
Lyin’ Snake:
I know you. And I know where your mind is going right now, and you don’t have anything to be ashamed of, sugar. I’m the one that needs to be ashamed. And I am.
Sugar Bear:
So you saw what I saw?
Lyin’ Snake:
Yes.
Sugar Bear:
I’m sorry for asking it this way, but I’m struggling to visualize it.
Lyin’ Snake:
That’s no problem. Ask whatever way you need to ask.
Sugar Bear:
You could see what was on my screen, and you could see me through my camera or whatever my camera lens was pointing toward?
Lyin’ Snake:
Yes, exactly.
Sugar Bear:
Could you do both of those at the same time?
Lyin’ Snake:
Yes.
Sugar Bear:
And did you?
Lyin’ Snake:
Yes. And I could hear you.
Sugar Bear:
. . .
Lyin’ Snake:
Here’s the answer you’re trying to get out of me. Yes. I knew how exquisite you sounded when you came. Even before I was there in the flesh to make you come myself.
Lyin’ Snake:
Are you still there?
Lyin’ Snake:
Sugar, it’s okay. You didn’t do anything wrong. I know it was an invasion of your privacy. I knew it then too. As soon as I realized what you were doing, I clicked it off.
Sugar Bear:
Then how did you know what I sounded like when I came if you turned it off?
Lyin’ Snake:
Well, the first time, I shut the camera off so I couldn’t see you, and I turned the volume down low. But I could still hear you.
Sugar Bear:
And you think that makes it okay?
Lyin’ Snake:
No, but I told myself it was because I was worried about you being in that hotel. I needed the volume on low in case something went wrong and you needed help.
Sugar Bear:
You don’t really believe that, do you?
Lyin’ Snake:
It’s amazing the lies we tell ourselves to justify something we want so badly.
Sugar Bear:
Did you um . . . touch yourself while listening?
Lyin’ Snake:
No.
Sugar Bear:
. . .
Lyin’ Snake:
I wanted to. But I wouldn’t do that without your consent. There are some lines I just don’t cross.
Sugar Bear:
I wonder where those lines are.
Lyin’ Snake:
It’s a fair question.
Sugar Bear:
I need to go.
Lyin’ Snake:
I’m sorry, sweetness.
Sugar Bear:
What for now? Be specific. What are you sorry for?
Lyin’ Snake:
Everything. I’m sorry for lying about my name. I’m sorry for meeting you under false pretenses. I’m sorry for crossing lines. And for convincing myself that it was justified because I was concerned about you. While I was always worried about your safety, the truth is I just had to be with you. I needed to be near you, even if it was only through the screen. Because from the first moment you got here, I was drawn to you. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to resist. I’m sorry I’m not a better man. And I’m so damn sorry you got hurt because of me
Sugar Bear:
Well, I guess that says it all then.
Sugar Bear:
One last question.
Lyin’ Snake:
Go ahead, sugar bear.
Sugar Bear:
Do you have your spy gizmos or gadgets on the new phone that you gave me?
Lyin’ Snake:
Yes.
Sugar Bear:
Okay, I lied about the one last question thing. I have more.
Lyin’ Snake:
I love your brain. I’m not going anywhere, sugar.
Sugar Bear:
I’m gonna need you to stop calling me that, please.
Lyin’ Snake:
I’m sorry.
Sugar Bear:
The new cameras and security shit in the apartment... can you see me through those cameras?
Lyin’ Snake:
Yes.
Sugar Bear:
I knew it. Have you been watching me this week?
Lyin’ Snake:
Yes.
Sugar Bear:
Why?
Lyin’ Snake:
Partly to ensure you’re still safe or to see how you’re doing. But mostly because I need to see you. I fucking miss you so much.
Sugar Bear:
Did you spy on me the entire year we were together?
Lyin’ Snake:
No.
Sugar Bear:
When did you stop?
Lyin’ Snake:
Not long after we got physical. It didn’t feel right anymore. Not that it ever did. But it especially felt wrong after that. However...
Sugar Bear:
Go on.
Lyin’ Snake:
I continued tracking your location. For safety. Nothing like checking your texts or calls. And I didn’t access your phone’s camera or even your bank account.
Sugar Bear:
So from around the time we started having sex?
Lyin’ Snake:
Yes, it wasn’t long after that.
Sugar Bear:
Kri told me that you guys put tags on your clients to track them. Not just their phones but other stuff. Did you have those trackers on me?
Lyin’ Snake:
Yes. I have tags on both of your purses. The black sandals you wear all the time. Your running sneakers. Some of your jewelry. Stuff like that.
Sugar Bear:
For what purpose?
Lyin’ Snake:
Safety. Lots of my peers have trackers on their partners. We’re a paranoid group, considering some of the shit we’ve seen.
Sugar Bear:
I guess that makes sense. I would have probably said yes if you’d been honest with me about it. I might not have borrowed Freya’s shoes and purse the night I was taken. It could have saved me.
Lyin’ Snake:
That explains why I couldn’t track you. But I didn’t know you were missing until Monday. So even if you had your own shoes or purse, I wouldn’t have known to access the tracking and look for you until Monday.
Sugar Bear:
Oh yeah. That’s right. So it would have happened either way.
Lyin’ Snake:
I’m sorry, baby.
Sugar Bear:
How fucked up is it that I’m both enraged you were spying on me and pissed you didn’t spy better?
Lyin’ Snake:
I get it. I invaded your privacy all those times, but not when you needed me to.
Sugar Bear:
Subject change. I want to meet him. My father.
Lyin’ Snake:
I know you do. When?
Sugar Bear:
I don’t know yet.
Lyin’ Snake:
Take all the time you need. Just let me know when so I can tell him first. In fact, I almost told him today. You texted me while I was in the middle of a conversation with him. Now I’m glad I didn’t. I don’t want him to force a meeting with you before you’re ready.
Sugar Bear:
I’ll let you know.
Lyin’ Snake:
Okay. I’m here for you. Whatever you need.