32. Jules
Jules
I ’m pacing my floor, trying not to be a nosy bitch and eavesdrop from the balcony. It’s killing me not knowing what’s going on next door. I’ve circled my bedroom for what feels like hours without a word from Cal.
I’m on my four hundred fifty-eighth lap when the balcony door slides open and a tall, broad-shouldered figure blocks out the light from the streetlamps below. Huh . Look at that. It’s already dark.
“Hey,” Cal greets softly.
“I’m guessing from that gooey expression on your face that it went well with Dani?” I say, going immediately to wrap my arms around his waist. He returns the motion, holding me tight. Like I’m his lifeline.
“Yeah. She’s putting Charlie to bed now,” he says into the crook of my neck. “Thanks for giving us that time.”
There are a thousand things I want to ask him. Why is she here now? Where has she been? What was she thinking when she left her daughter behind? Does she think that it’s okay? And all of my questions boil down to one. “What happens now? ”
He straightens and blows a huge puff of breath out. “Well, I don’t know.” He shrugs. “We’ll just start with giving her a good, safe place to rest tonight.”
I don’t like it. I don’t want her anywhere near Cal or Charlie. My protective instinct over the two of them is in full swing. And if that means offering her my uncomfortable futon to sleep on and letting her in my space, so be it. “Do you want to offer her my place? She can stay on my futon.”
“Maybe? I’ll ask her what she wants to do. Right now, I’m regretting getting rid of that second bed. I think being in jail and everything that followed really did a number on her, and she just needs rest.”
“Okay, of course.” Except I will definitely be packing up my valuables, because even if Cal trusts his sister and has forgiven her, I sure as hell don’t. “Let me grab a few things and set things up for her. Give me five and send her over.”
He leaves, and I make a mad dash, stowing stuff in an overnight bag that I will definitely be taking with me. But instead of Dani coming over, I receive a text that she was already passed out on the couch when he returned, and that he thinks it’s best if I forgo coming over.
The message smarts. A fucking text message. Telling me not to come over. A tiny dagger pierces that still-tender place in my heart that tells me I’m not enough.
“Whatever,” I mutter aloud to my empty apartment. I want to turn on my music because my place is suddenly too quiet. There’s no distant sound machine playing, no sound of the dishwasher endlessly running.
There are also no warm arms wrapped around me tonight. On a night that I could’ve used the reassurance. A night after a very panicked morning where I thought my whole world had changed .
Maybe it has, just not in the way I planned.
I don’t answer his message. Instead, I change and crawl into bed. Alone. I’ve been sleeping alone every third night, but in Cal’s bed. Being alone in mine feels wholly different.
The door to the balcony opens, cascading warm light into the room. Over my shoulder, I watch as Cal quietly closes the door and pads over to the bed.
“Hi,” he whispers, shoving his hands into his pockets. In this moment, he looks like a lost little boy in a grown man’s body. “You were too far away.”
My pride is still smarting, but I toss the covers back anyway.
He makes quick work of stripping down to his boxers and crawling under the covers. In an instant, I’m in his arms.
The next morning, Cal decrees that he likes his mattress better, and it’s decided that Dani can stay at my place, and I will stay at Cal’s.
I’m still not one hundred percent on board with this arrangement, but I’m willing to be flexible for the short term. First, I’m moving some things next door, and then I’m going down to the shop to pretend like I’ve gotten my paperwork sorted and everything is fine and dandy.
I’m busy packing some bags to make life easier when Dani appears in the balcony door.
“Hi,” she mutters, ducking her head like she can’t bear to look me in the face.
I glance in the mirror and make sure my RBF is under control. “Hi, come on in. I’ve cleared some drawer space for you.”
“Oh. Thanks.” She surveys my room, looking anywhere but at me. I wonder what she sees as her gaze flits from one spot to the next. Is she casing my apartment? Or is it something entirely different?
“I’m getting the feeling that you’re not comfortable around me,” I state, startling her.
Her eyes flit back to meet mine, and she swallows. With her arms clasped in front of her, she looks like a child who’s facing the consequences of her actions.
“Look, I know I fucked up,” she starts, and I hold a hand up to stop her.
“Just don’t hurt him.” I’m not pulling any punches with this kid. And I do see her as a kid, because she’s certainly not making adult-like decisions. “After everything your brother’s done for you, don’t jerk him around now.”
“You don’t like me, do you?”
I sigh. This girl . “Dani, I don’t know you to know whether or not I like you. But I can tell you that I hate what you’ve put that little girl and your brother through.”
She looks stricken.
“But your brother loves you. So, for now, I’m willing to give you a chance. Don’t fuck it up.”
I sound like her mom. And it’s at that moment that I realize I’m probably old enough to be.
“I won’t.” The quiet words hang between us. I have the sneaking suspicion that if I hadn’t said anything, she might have taken off again without a word. She must be destitute if she’s willing to stay when I’m sure my distrust is palpable.
Instead of easing her anxiety, I step through the door. “Then I’ll see you downstairs.”
A little while later, Cal, Dani, and Charlie bustle into the coffee shop. Dani’s still somewhat subdued with me, but she’s doting on Charlie and Cal’s got his happy face on.
I’m not entirely sure how I feel about any of this.
Instead of making a big deal out of it, I scoop Charlie into my arms and place her in the special high chair that I ordered just for her.
The front door opens, and Maggie bustles through with Jackson in tow. “Hi, guys.”
Thankfully, neither of them seem to feel the tension I’m radiating. Maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m the problem. But I can’t help but wait for the other shoe to drop and for Dani to pull some shit with Charlie.
Jackson and Cal do their bro handshake as Maggie bestows a fresh muffin in front of Charlie.
She straightens and offers a hand to Dani. “Hi, I’m Maggie.”
“This is Dani, Cal’s little sister,” I interject, realizing how rude I’m being. If Dani thought I didn’t like her, I’m only confirming her suspicions. I can at least be nice.
Jackson hip-checks Maggie and leans his elbows on the counter. “How’s it going, Jules? Ready for the big open?”
“Yep. Just waiting. Expecting a call any minute now.”
“It feels like we’ve been saying that for a week,” Cal mutters. He’s not wrong. “So listen. I called Maggie and Jackson over for a reason.” He sidles up to Dani and drops an arm around her shoulders.
“Dani and I need to go take care of some official business. Jackson’s brother is an attorney, and he’s making himself available to us this morning so that Dani”—he looks lovingly at his sister—“and I can go sign some guardianship paperwork.”
My gaze darts to Cal’s. Does this mean… ?
The most obnoxious ringtone interrupts my train of thought. Dani pulls her phone out and silences it.
“Who is that? Who do you keep ignoring?” Cal snatches Dani’s phone before she can slip it back in her pocket, holding it over his head out of her reach. Dani’s jumping up in a futile attempt to get her phone back. The next thing I know, she’s got her legs wrapped around him and is climbing him.
“Jax, a little help here,” Cal calls. And his partner immediately jumps into the fray, taking the handoff from Cal and dodging Dani when she chases after.
“They’re worse than toddlers,” Maggie mumbles, whipping Charlie out of the high chair and out of harm’s way, all the while chuckling at the silly antics of grown men acting like children.
I’m laughing too, until I notice how pale Dani’s face is. The whites of her eyes are showing. This is more than just the panic that her brother stole her phone. There’s some serious fear there.
“Cal.” I raise my voice to be heard over the fray. He stops immediately but doesn’t release the object of their little standoff. He looks at me, a question in his eyes, and I incline my head toward Dani. Realization dawns across his features.
“What are you hiding, Danielle.” In the short time I’ve known her, anytime he uses her full name, she folds to his questioning.
This time, she just snatches the phone back, gripping it like she might be terrified of losing it.
“Dani, why don’t you come sit,” I offer.
She doesn’t like me, but apparently, I’m the better choice than answering her brother. She perches on a tall café stool, shoulders nearly attached to her ears, she’s so tense. Little does she know…
“So. Obviously, there’s something going on,” I start as Cal and Jackson box her in.
The phone rings again, and her shoulders slump. “I think I’m in a bind.”
Cal tenses. “Explain.”
“It’s Ritchie. He’s been calling me ever since I left.” She looks at her brother. There’s got to be more to this story because Cal goes absolutely still.
“Okay, so who is Ritchie?” I interject.
Cal’s head swings to me. “Charlie’s dad. Dani’s ex.”
“Is he a problem?” Jackson takes a step forward, standing shoulder to shoulder with Cal.
Dani doesn’t answer, and Cal breathes through his nose.
The tension between the two of them is reaching a boiling point. I meet Maggie’s gaze, silently begging for her to help me. She reads me loud and clear, because she claps Jackson on the shoulder as she rounds the corner of the table.
“Come on, Jackson, let’s me and you take this little angel down to the park. Give the crankypants time to chat things over. Whaddaya say, Charlie. Wanna go play with Aunt Maggie?”