Chapter 6
“Oh shit! This is high!” Phileigh squealed as we crept up the tracks.
Her grip tightened on the safety bar. I couldn’t help but chuckle. I was getting a kick out of seeing her squirm. The elephants hadn’t even gone that high on the last ride, and she screamed. I didn’t know how I’d gotten her on this roller coaster.
“You’re afraid of heights, huh?”
She shot me a playful glare. “How can you tell?”
“Just a guess,” I teased, making her laugh as the ride dropped over the hill at full speed.
“Aah! Oh my God!” she screamed at the top of her lungs. “I’m going to die!”
I laughed at her dramatics and placed my arm across her, anchoring her to the seat for protection. The urge to protect her surprised me, but I welcomed it.
“Oh, shit!”
Her voice was mixed with laughter and screams. It was intoxicating, and I couldn’t help but think of what her screams would sound like when I was inside of her.
“I got you,” I reassured her as we went for our last twist and turn.
She gripped my arm as she squealed. Shawty was scared as shit.
“This is my last roller coaster!”
That was probably for the best. I didn’t think she could survive another. I nodded as the ride slowed to a complete stop and our lap bars lifted.
“I need to sit down after that.” She gasped as we stumbled out of the ride.
I glanced down at my watch, which had been buzzing the entire ride. I already knew it was my mom reminding me about the schedule. I was due to start press thirty minutes ago, but I wanted to enjoy a few more rides with Phileigh.
“How about we grab something to eat after the interview?” I said, spotting my mom gesturing me toward an awning where the press and a crowd of fans had gathered. Phileigh’s eyes followed my gaze, and she nodded her head.
“Sounds good. I’m going to have a seat right here, though. My heart is still pounding from that ride.” She took a seat on a small bench.
“Come on. I’ll get you a seat over there.”
I didn’t want to leave her presence for several reasons. I’d brought her here, so she was my responsibility.
“Go, go! I’ll be fine,” she insisted, holding onto her stomach.
The coaster must have really shaken her up. She probably felt a little nauseous. I stared at her for a moment, trying to gauge if she was okay.
“Kellon!” My mother’s voice broke through the crowd of fans yelling my name.
“Just relax. I’ll have Monte get you some water.”
I was concerned, but I had to go to the interview. It was a part of my contract.
“I’ll be right back, aight? Don’t turn into Cinderella.”
I smiled at her, trying to make her feel better.
“I won’t. I’ll be right here watching.”
With that, I headed toward the press area, stopping briefly to sign a few autographs. I hated doing press, but I loved showing love to the fans, especially the little, brown-skinned ones who looked like me.
“You’re the best, KB!” one of the kids shouted as I signed his football.
“You’re the best, kid.” I dapped him up before heading to my mom.
“You’re on with ESPN in five, and then you’ll do a quick parade run.” She clipped the mic onto my shirt and hooked me up.
“Did you tell them no questions about Jeronee?” I asked. I loved my brother but wasn’t in the right headspace to speak about him.
“Of course. They have your list.” She smiled and patted me on the back before sending me into the lion’s den.
Here we go. I walked over to the anchor desk and greeted the show’s hosts, Karla Kemp and Ben Rusellman, before we all got into place. I had interviewed with them a few times in the past. Karla was cool, but Ben was always coming for me and my teammates on some hater shit. Of all the hosts, they had to pick him to interview me after the biggest day of my career.
“This will be quick. Just the standard interview questions.” Karla briefed me, and I nodded.
“Which camera am I looking into?”
“That one, Mr. MVP.” Ben pointed to the monitor ahead of us as camera lights flashed. I took a deep breath to steady myself as the producers began counting us down to show time.
“And three, two, one… you’re live,” one of the show producers called out.
“Welcome back to our live coverage from the happiest place on earth!” Ben began our segment. “We’re here with Mr. Super Bowl MVP, Kellon Barnes. Congratulations, Kellon! How does it feel to be finally holding the Lombardi trophy?”
“Unbelievable really. You know? It’s been a dream of mine since I was a kid. I’m sure you can relate,” I told him.
Ben had won two Super Bowls in his football days, so he knew the feeling.
“It’s surreal. I know,” he replied. “A moment every football player dreams of but not many get to experience.”
I nodded my head in agreement.
“Kellon, you delivered for your team in the second half.” That was Karla. “What went through your mind as you took the field in the fourth quarter trailing behind?”
“Just staying focused and sticking to the game plan.”
“I want to talk about that final drive. What was going through your mind? Nobody saw that bullet you threw into the endzone coming,” Ben stated.
“Big moments call for big plays.”
“You got that right,” Karla agreed.
“So, Kellon,” Ben spoke, grabbing my attention. “You’re not just a player. You’re also an inspiration for countless young athletes. Just like your brother was to you.”
There it was—the setup for the question that always unsettled me.
“How do you feel about your brother not being here to celebrate with you?”
His lips seemed to move in slow motion, and a familiar dark shadow fell over me as the memories flooded back. I didn’t know how to answer that. I felt miserable that my brother wasn’t here, and I couldn’t say what I wanted. Too much grief, and I would look pathetic and ungrateful.
“I… it’s… I miss my brother every day,” I managed to say, feeling the familiar weight of sadness settle into my chest.
At that moment, I scanned the crowd as usual for Mom. She needed to see how pissed I was in real time. She was supposed to make sure this didn’t happen. Oddly, I couldn’t find her in the sea of people. Searching for something familiar, my eyes fell on Phileigh, and our eyes locked. Suddenly, the harsh clicks of cameras and infamous questions faded away. There was only her and I. Everything felt more manageable as I focused on her beautiful face. Phileigh had a peaceful aura oozing off her, which seemed to be what I needed.
“I miss my brother every day… at every accomplishment,” I repeated.
“Well, we know he’s somewhere proud of you.” Karla smiled. Her words stuck with me.
“I hope so.” I sighed as the producers counted us down to the end.
“Well, congratulations once again on the win. We can’t wait to see what’s next for you and your team. Enjoy the celebration.” Ben ended the session.
“Thank you! Appreciate it.”
The segment ended, and I quickly removed my mic and returned to Phileigh without another word. I needed to be in her space.
“Hey. Guess the clock didn’t strike midnight,” I said softly. The noise from the crowd faded into the background when she smiled.
“I guess not,” she replied with a smile breaking across her face. “Ready to eat?”
“Kellon, we need to get you on the float!” my mama shouted, interrupting us.
Shit, I had forgotten about the parade.
“I forgot I gotta do this parade first,” I said. “Eat after?”
I reached out my hand to help her up.
“Okay,” she replied, taking my hand.
Her softness had my fucking heart jumping. I never wanted her to lose that softness. We walked through the crowd to where the brightly colored float was waiting.
“Watch your step, beautiful,” I told her as I helped her aboard the float.
“Thank you. I’ve never been on a float or a part of a parade before.” Her mouth was open as she took in the scenery.
“I’m glad I could be your first.”
I walked her to the back of the float where a bench sat against a wall. I wanted to have her front and center with me, but the media would have a field day with that, and I wanted to get a chance to know her before they ran her off.
“You good here?” I asked.
“Great!”
I glanced at her one last time, ensuring she was comfortable before I took my place at the front. Cheers erupted from the sea of fans lining the streets as the float began to move. Their excitement was infectious. I glanced down. The reality of my accomplishments hit me. I was a Super Bowl MVP.
I was living my dream—my brother’s dream. I should have been floating on Cloud Nine, but I couldn’t shake the guilt of being happy and the emptiness in my heart. My gaze drifted back to Phileigh. My mom now occupied her seat. I panicked, looking around frantically for her.
“You okay?”
Her soft voice calmed me. She was right beside me. Her hand wrapped around mine without hesitation. It was crazy how she could sense something was wrong. My mother couldn’t even do that.
“A little overwhelmed,” I admitted, surprising myself again.
I wanted to tell her I couldn’t stop the guilt from creeping in about how it felt wrong to be happy without my brother. I wanted to tell her he’d still be here if it weren’t for me, but that was too much information to spill to a stranger.
“I get you being overwhelmed. This is a lot, but you should try to enjoy it. You earned it,” she said, squeezing my hand reassuringly. I didn’t know if she realized how much I needed to hear those words.
“Thank you.” I squeezed her hand back.
“Just an introvert looking out for another.” She smirked, and that urge to keep her close grew more potent. I hoped she was ready because I was never letting her out of my presence.