10. Shock and awe （and aww）
Chapter 10
Shock and awe (and aww)
TOMER
A s we pull out of the neighborhood, the adrenaline starts to flee my system. My right hand has a slight tremble, but I shake it out.
Sawyer glances at me from the driver’s seat, his brows drawn tight. “You good?”
“Yep. You?”
Pearly-white teeth gleam with his wide smile. I can already tell he’s going to have something sarcastic to say. Most likely with some annoyingly entertaining accent or vocal impression.
He doesn’t disappoint.
“That wath a nithe elbow thstrike to the chin I thsaw. Illegal in boxing, thso I never could do that move.”With a perfected lisp and high-pitched tone, he nails a Mike Tyson impression. “I would have done it better. But itths... you know it wath pwetty good for what it wasth.”
Laughter fills the cabin of the SUV. All three of us crack up. That impression was so good I’m betting the fuck face would have laughed if he were conscious.
From the backseat, Aaron exclaims, “ ?Ay, Dios mío! ” He’s often the first to roll his eyes at Sawyer’s constant impressions. Not this time.
When the humor of the moment fades, Sawyer’s face grows serious—well, as serious as it ever gets. “You know I wasn’t going to let you kill him, right?”
Running my tongue over my teeth, I focus briefly on the trees speeding by as we barrel down the road to get the fuck out of Dodge. “I bet Boss ordered everyone to watch me. Probably gave you all ether-soaked rags before we left HQ in case you needed to knock me out.”
“Boss didn’t order me, but I wouldn’t have stopped you even if he did.” Aaron clicks his tongue a few times, his voice cutting and dark. “Not after what this fucker did to your little mama. After we get the intel out of him, if you wanna toss him in a river, I’ll bring the concrete blocks.”
Tempting. Fucking. Offer.
Judging by Aaron’s tone, he isn’t kidding.Reminds me of how he was the night we caught Skidmark and took him to Jonesy’s barn. Aaron had no remorse or qualms about hurting that fucker. I know why I’m the way I am, but I wonder how he got this way. It’s been a while since I’ve investigated his past. I can’t recall all the specifics, but there was something with his sister if memory serves.
Regardless, I won’t be taking him up on his offer. I promised Lettie I wouldn’t kill anyone, and I’ll never lie to her again.
“Maybe I’ll need the ether for Aaron instead,” Sawyer quips.
A hush settles for the next few minutes of the drive until Mia calls us.
Sawyer answers on speaker. “Hey, Hobbs. How are you and your boy doing? Any fun adventures lately?”
“Smart ass,” Mia snarks.
I cut a glare at Sawyer, my lips pursed and face screwed to the side in confusion. “Hobbs?” I mouth.
“I’ll tell you later,” he answers, beaming from ear to ear. Jolly fucker.
It doesn’t take me long to figure out what he’s talking about. Klein’s real name is Calvin. So Calvin and Hobbs like the comic strip.
Har, har, har.
Actually, it’s pretty funny when you consider that Klein calls her his tiger.
“Klein is downstairs with Boss. They’re getting the room ready for our distinguished guest. Take him toroom 107 when you arrive at HQ.”
Hmm . That’s a few rooms over from the bunk room where Lettie and I have been staying.
“Mia, can you get Lettie to another part of the building? She doesn’t need to accidentally see or hear him when we bring him in. Don’t want to risk her being that close.”
Mia fucking giggles.
Huh?
Lettie’s voice rings through, upbeat and bright as a summer day. “Hi, babe. Great job. Loved the elbow thing. You’ll have to teach me that one.”
My jaw tightens. “You were watching?”
“Best show in town. Had a great seat too. I love a good action flick.”
For some dumb reason, I respond as if she’s being serious. “No, you don’t. You make me watch musicals and chick flicks.”
Sawyer and Aaron don’t even try to hold back their laughter.To be fair, I wouldn’t either if the roles were reversed.
“Tastes change, babe,” Lettie tuts. “Recently discovered I’m a fan of military and cop shows.”
“I’m gonna text you, sugar bear.”
“ Aww , sugar bear,” Sawyer mutters quietly. “So cute.”
I swat his bicep with the back of my hand.
Before ending the call, Mia reminds us where we’re headed. “Room 107. Bye.”
Not bothering to speak to the guys, I fire off a message to Lettie.
Me:
You sure you’re okay?
Sugar Bear:
Yes, babe. I’m good. A little nauseous, but that’s been all day.
Me:
What made you decide to watch? Why didn’t you tell me?
Sugar Bear:
I wanted to see him suffer a bit. As to why I didn’t talk to you about it... this was one of those times I thought it was best to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. Are you mad?
Me:
A little. Wish you would have felt like you could tell me.
Sugar Bear:
I’m sorry.
Me:
It’s okay, sweetness. We’re both navigating this as we go. Nothing about this situation is normal. I’m likely to be overprotective for a while, but I’m learning to trust your judgment.
Sugar Bear:
Can you come and see me when you get back?
Me:
Yeah. I’d really like it if you weren’t on the first floor. Can you stay upstairs for me?
Sugar Bear:
Yes. I’ll be in your office. Come and see me when you get back, please.
Me:
Okay.
Sugar Bear:
Love you. x
Before I slide my phone into my pocket, I text Mia on her cell so Lettie doesn’t see it on the monitors like she would if I used the chat. There’s a chance Lettie might be putting on a brave face.
Me:
Is she really okay? She wasn’t panicking when she saw him?
Mia:
She was a bit fidgety. Good now. She’s tough.
Me:
Good. I’m pissed at you for not telling me she was watching.
Mia:
I’m pissed at you for . . . for . . . I don’t know what. But I’ll find something.
Me:
I’m going to talk to Lettie in your office when we get back. I fucking hate not having my own space.
Mia:
Yeah, I was thinking about that the other day. Do you want to kick me and Klein out of the lair? My training is done. Boss only ordered that we work together until we were a “cohesive unit” or some shit.I think we’re good there.
Me:
Nah. I like having you guys in there. I only need some space occasionally.
Mia:
You may use my office as you wish. But no funny business.
I don’t reply. My mind meanders along different tracks. Worries about Lettie watching the capture op leads me to wonder if she’ll want to watch the interrogation, which I’m not okay with. Then I’m replaying how good it felt to have Yev’s life in my hands.
“Is he still out?” I ask Aaron.
“Yeah, T,” he rasps.
“Keep an eye on him. He might wake up soon.”
He’s restrained and gagged, but you can never be too safe.
I scan through my text string with Lettie as a nagging thought pricks at me. She mentioned nausea again, which she’s had just about every day for the last week.
Folding my lips inward, I toggle to the calendar app and count the days. My chest grows tight, and my breath quickens. Unless it happened during our time apart, she hasn’t had a period in well over a month. Probably closer to six weeks.
I flip my phone face down, setting it on my thigh. After forcing my breathing to return to normal, I take a gander at the man behind the wheel. The one with a very pregnant fiancée.
“Sawyer, how soon after Sammy got pregnant did she start feeling sick? Isn’t that like... an early sign?”
His throat bobs with a forced swallow. Blinking rapidly, he twists his head in my direction. By the time he’s looking squarely at me, his eyes are as wide as Frisbees.
Oh shit.
Why did I ask that?
Since he’s driving, he thankfully shifts his attention back to the road. His mouth moves without words forming.
“Never mind. I’ll look it up,” I huff, quickly paying a visit to Dr. Google.
“Um.” Sawyer taps his thumb on the steering wheel. “So the first symptoms were frequent trips to the bathroom. Her chest was tender. And she was nauseous a lot. Especially when she didn’t eat regularly.”
I quirk up one side of my face. “Her chest?”
He gives me a sidelong glance of irritation. “Her boobs.”
“Oh. And how long do you think that was after . . .”
“No more than a month after we uh... had...” He lowers his forehead and volume. “You know.”
I scan the calendar again.
Almost a month since that accidental no-condom situation on my couch. And then the weekend where she was...
Fuck.
As much as I’d love for Lettie to have my baby one day. Hell, even now. Not sure I like the idea of not knowing if it’s mine.
Not because I wouldn’t love the baby. If it isn’t mine, it’s still half of her. Loving any part of Lettie is a given. I can only imagine how wrecked she’d be over being forced to carry the baby of someone who assaulted her.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Leaning forward, I brace my elbows on my knees and roughly scrub my palms over my face. A knot forms in my gut, and a weight settles in my chest, making breathing nearly impossible.
Sawyer pats my upper back. “Talk to me, T. You all right?”
Aaron piles on but with a different type of support. Tough love. “Need you back with us, T. Not the time for a breakdown.”
That does it.
Frame stiffening, I rub my palms over my thighs as if metaphorically wiping my hands clean of this for the time being.
Aaron’s right. We have a fuckface maggot in the back who needs my undivided attention in a few minutes when we get back to base.
If Lettie hasn’t figured it out yet, then it can wait a bit longer.
No sweat.