Epilogue
TOMER
I ’d imagine most men are terrified when they’re moments from proposing marriage. After all, it’s a giant step in any relationship. Maybe they’re doubting if it’s the best thing to do or the right time. They could be uncertain of her answer. Or perhaps they’re questioning whether she’s really the one .
If those are the causes for preproposal jitters, it’s no wonder I’m as relaxed as I’ve ever been. My palms aren’t clammy, and my pulse is steady. Not a fidget or tremor in my body. Only a dash of impatience as I await their arrival.
Big Al’s chauffeuring Lettie to the botanical gardens under the guise of a father-daughter dinner. They should be pulling into the parking lot any minute. He’ll text when they park. The facility closed at sunset, but we made special arrangements to reserve the butterfly pavilion to ensure Lettie’s safety. We’ve got a team guarding the perimeter.
I glance around the vast, dome-shaped pavilion, cementing the scenery to memory. Over my head, the twinkling white lights shimmer off the glass tiles lining the roof. Shep and Lionheart draped those for us earlier today, adding to the ambiance. The romantic music on Klein’s playlist emanates from the speakers a few feet away. The sweet scent of the flowers and shrubs cover the spaces on both sides of the walkway. And the butterflies, resting for the night, are mostly hidden amongst the colorful petals and blossoms.
Again and again, I sweep my vision from one side of the greenhouse to the other. Once Lettie arrives, all I’ll see is her. Like always, she’ll drown out everything else around me.
My phone buzzes in my back pocket. I give it a quick check, confirming their arrival.
Sawyer hollers from the back of the pavilion, impersonating a cliché director on a movie set. “Places, everyone. Places. Sixty seconds until we’re live. Roll the cameras.”
I crick my head to one side, trying to recall if we agreed on whether to film it. I thought we killed that idea.
As if reading my mind, Sawyer adds, “We’re not really filming it. Calm down, Tomer.”
Spreading my arms wide, I grin when I locate him behind a shrub about forty feet away. “Oh, I’m as cool as a cucumber, bud.”
The click of the door sends excitement skittering up my spine. I crick my neck and shake out my shoulders, anxious for my first glimpse of her.
I don’t have to wait long.
Big Al opens the door to usher her in from the corridor.
And there she is.
Glowing with the life developing inside her and the love she’s always exuded.
She shines.
My heart clenches, and my breath hitches.Exactly as predicted, everything else falls away but Lettie.
Her mouth rounds as she trails her gaze around to study the space. But I only see her.
The moment she notices me standing in the center of the garden, a bouquet of violets in my hands, she freezes in place. A handful of seconds tick by before she gathers her composure. A smile spans her face, stretching her cheeks as far as they can go. She lights up at the mere sight of me, exactly like she did the night at Bask when I first saw her sing,
She’s happy.
Because of me.
Me .
Big Al gently nudges her with one hand, gesturing toward me with the other. She throws her arms around him in a giant embrace. My throat grows tight, knowing how far they’ve come.Once she releases him, she bounds over to me, her eyes already welling with tears. At this point, the cat is out of the bag. She knows why we’re here.
It’s been a few hours since I’ve seen her, but that might as well be a lifetime. Desperate for her touch, I remove the space between us, meeting her halfway. She greets me with her chin tipped up, beckoning me to kiss her. Wrapping her arms around my shoulders, she pulls me close. Her growing belly reaches my front before the rest of her, setting loose a flutter of powerful emotions inside me.
I cannot fucking wait to have a family with her.
I’m tempted to deny her request for a kiss, insisting we wait for the right moment. However, I’m powerless to resist.
Claiming her lips, I indulge in her sweetness for a few blissful moments.She smells as heavenly as the fragrant blooms around us.
Gently, I end the kiss and pull back, studying her beauty under the sparkling lights. Mesmerizing.
When she finally opens her eyes, she coyly says, “You look handsome. Special occasion?”
Glancing down my frame, I study the tux, remembering how she told me she wanted me dressed up when we said our vows. Figured it couldn’t hurt since I was going full romance hero with the proposal. With Big Al promising her a dinner out, I knew she’d dress up. Although, even in baggy sweats and a T-shirt, she’s stunning.
Joking, I toss back, “It was supposed to be penguin night, but they booked us in the butterfly room instead.”
Her laugh pierces into my chest, swaddling my soul with warmth.
I take her hand, lead her to the area I’d picked out, and then offer her the violet bouquet. “For you, my love.”
“Thank you, babe.” She takes them, immediately bringing them to her nose and inhaling. “They smell lovely.”
“Just like their namesake,” I say, admittedly laying it on thick.I lose track of the seconds while I hold her free hand and stare into her eyes.
Her impatience doesn’t cut me slack for long, though. “Aren’t you gonna ask me something?” Lowering her brows, she bats her long, black lashes at me expectantly.
After a quick peck, I lower to my knee without an ounce of trepidation.
Playfully, she cricks her head to the side and warns, “If this is another Dom thing or some tease, I can’t be held responsible for my overreactions.”
Rather than responding with words, I wink and slip my free hand into my pocket to remove the ring.
She inhales briskly and squeezes my hand. Her chin quivers as she looks from me to the ring and back again.
“Violet, from the moment I first heard your voice, I was under your spell. Your beauty enchanted me. Your laugh and smile drew me in even more. Little did I know, that was only the beginning of the things I’d come to love about you.” I swallow around a growing lump in my throat to steady my tone. “Before you fluttered into my life, I was a shell of a man. You’ve made me whole, fixing things I didn’t know were broken. You taught me to laugh, taught me how to feel, and how to love. Without you, I’d be frozen inside and out. You’re the warmth, the sun, and the light.”
“Oh, babe.” Her voice cracks, and she fans her eyes with her bouquet, attempting to dry her tears. “I love you so much.”
“When we met, you were crying at a gas pump and on the verge of giving up. You’ve blossomed into a confident, determined, vivacious woman. You’re poised, funny, smart, talented, creative, self-assured, and sexy as hell. And these are only a few of the things I adore about you. I could go on.”
The sound of her soft chuckle feeds my spirit, pushing me to continue when all I want to do is kiss her.
“You’ve suffered more than any sweet soul deserves. But through it all, you’ve emerged stronger. Your light shines brighter. Your compassion, patience, and forgiveness have inspired me to be a better man. I promise you I’ll never stop earning your love. Day after day, I’ll protect, cherish, provide for, and love you. I can’t wait to watch you spread your butterfly wings and become a mother. It’ll be the second greatest honor of my life.”
Through misty eyes, she asks, “What’s the first?”
“The greatest honor of my life will be when you become my wife.” A sheen of tears coats my eyes, and I have to blink them away to see her ethereal smile. “And so... Violet Anastasia Holt. My sugar bear and love of my life. Will you marry me?”
A wave of emotion cascades over her face while she fights back the tears.
“Yes,” she rasps softly, expelling a huge breath. Once she’s steadied herself, she adds,“Of course, I’ll marry you, Tomer. I love you so much. You mean the world to me. I never want to go a day without you.”
My world tilts as I slide the ring onto her trembling finger. It’s almost as if something is shaking me from the inside, attempting to lock me into place.
It’s joy, raw and pure.
When my vision clears, she kneels before me, sets her violets aside, and cups my cheeks. She stares at me with the smile of an angel. Slowly, I join our mouths for a tender kiss. Her pillowy, soft lips feather over mine before becoming insistent. Our love overflows inside me, sending a tear down my cheek. And I feel no shame for it.
As we pull apart for air, a shrill voice calls out. “Now, Varley. The bugs! Release the bugs!”
Sammy Mason.
Why in hell did she yell that? It was not in the script.
Rather than suffering from Tomer-level confusion, Lettie cracks up, laughing as raucously as ever.“Oh, my gosh. You didn’t. Tell me you didn’t. Not the bugs.”
I scan the room, and my eyes land on Sawyer, who releases the butterflies. A hundred monarchs take flight around us.
Lettie gasps and glides her vision around the room, wonder shimmering in her eyes. “I can’t believe you did this. I love it so much. It’s perfect, babe.”
Standing, I help her to her feet and hold her close. She snakes her arm around my midsection, and we watch the butterflies selecting their branches and flowers. Like always, one of my hands finds its way to her belly.
Applause fills the pavilion, followed by Big Al’s deafening whistle. Someone yells, “Huzzah!”
Aside from the bizarre thing Sammy screeched earlier, everything is perfect.
Somehow, Lettie manages to make it even better.Turning to face me, she rests her arms on my shoulders. “Tomer, this is magical. Thank you. Everything about this is perfect. But the thing is...” Her face falls, just a minuscule tug at the corners of her mouth. “I know you sometimes think of me as a butterfly.” She shakes her head subtly. “I’m not .”
I don’t answer. There was no question.
Instead, I relish her beauty and close proximity.Her sparkling irises shine, holding me hostage in their depths.
“Tomer, a caterpillar tucks itself into an empty shell. Where it’s dark and cold. Only then can it change into a butterfly.” She blinks, more tears cascading down her rosy cheeks. I wipe them away with my thumbs.
A quivery breath passes her glistening lips. “Even in my darkest days, you gave me warmth. When I couldn’t see, you shone a light. Although you were hurting, you comforted and cared for me. I never had to go into a cocoon. So you see... I’m not a butterfly. And you can trust me, given I’ve seen this metamorphosis firsthand. I’m kind of an expert.”
A rebuttal rests on the tip of my tongue. Not about her expertise, but about her assertion.
Before I can object, she puts her index finger on my lips.“It was you. Somewhere along the line, you emerged from your shell. The beautiful soul I’ve always known was inside you broke free. You were the butterfly all along. I was simply the lucky one to help you learn to fly.”
No words could be meaningful enough to follow her proclamation. The way she sees me is so unexpected. It’s powerful. She’s a balm to my battered soul. The wonder cream on my wounds. My person. My forever.
My love.
Instead of trying to express my gratitude, I hold and kiss her. Greedily, I let the warmth of her lips seep into my soul. Her sweetness balances my essence. While her love shines a light into my heart.
This time, when we break the kiss, I keep my eyes closed for a few extra seconds, letting the moment linger. Cherishing every heartbeat. Exactly how she taught me to.
Loving her the way she loves me.
A firm hand claps my shoulder blade, shaking me from my stupor. I blink and look around, finding a bunch of jolly assholes surrounding us, clapping and offering congratulations.
Our family.
Mia pulls Lettie away for a hug before passing her to the others. Klein does the same to me, then hands me off to Big Al and Sawyer. On down the line we go.
When I get to Sammy, I ask, “What the hell did you yell?”
She huffs and rolls her eyes. “Sigh. It was the line from the butterfly scene in Bridgerton. Have you no culture?”
Oh . That makes sense.
It also explains why Lettie understood the reference.
She, Sammy, and the girls had a Bridgerton marathon last week. Anything to break up the boredom and monotony of life in HQ. I’ll have to ask Lettie to show me the scene. Clearly, it was a hit with her. That’s all that matters. Like all good comedians, Sammy knew her audience.
Boss claps his hands, drawing everyone’s attention. “Well, kids. Our time here is almost up. Anything else before we leave this beautiful garden?”
Sawyer and Sammy trade knowing glances, their brows dancing with mirth.
“How much time until we have to be out of here?” Sawyer asks.
Boss checks his watch. “We’ve got ten minutes.”
“I think we can make that work.” Sammy shakes her shoulders then glances at Lettie. “May I borrow your bouquet?”
Lettie’s jaw drops, and she sucks in a huge swell of air. “You two want to get married now? Here?”
Sawyer jokes, “It is a beautiful space, and the crowd would make acceptable guests.”
“Yes! Yes! Do it,” Lettie cheers.
Madeline jumps in front of her daughter, her excitement bursting free. “Are you sure? Really? Is this finally happening?”
“Well, we’re running out of time.” Sammy gestures to her belly. “We wanted a big wedding, but that will have to wait until after the babies come and the Lenkov mess is behind us. A few weeks ago, we went to the courthouse to get married. But there’s a dumb three-day waiting period after you get the license unless you do some bullshit online course. So I suggested we go back in three days. Then shit went sideways with the mafia. It didn’t feel right until now.”
Sawyer shrugs, adding, “The license is about to expire soon. They’re only good for sixty days. And we’d like to be married when the babies come.” He grins, his eyes surveying the group. “Anyone here a notary?”
Madeline sighs, adding a flamboyant roll of her eyes. “You know I am.”
Lettie grabs her violet bouquet off the ground, passing it to Sammy in a blur. “Heavens to Betsy. Butter my biscuits and snap my garters. This is so flipping amazing. Best night ever.”
The ladies share a hug before Lettie returns and burrows into my side. I kiss her head, inhaling her sweet scent and holding her close.
And right there, surrounded by our Redleg family and our still-fluttering butterflies, Sawyer and Sammy become husband and wife.
Lettie cries tears of joy as she watches.
But I only have eyes for her.
After the newlyweds kiss to rowdy applause, I guide Lettie to the side for some privacy. After cupping her belly with one hand, I tuck the hair behind her ear and gaze into her sapphire eyes. “Our wedding is going to be so much better.”
“Duh. Like I said before, when you buy this cow, I’ll be in my virginal white dress, and you’ll be just as handsome as you are tonight.” She presses her palms on my lapels, smoothing them out. “And there will be fancy appetizers or canapés. A band, dancing, and all the delicious food Madeline can cook.”
“Obviously, we’ll ask her to cater.”
“That’s a given.”
I give her a peck, then press my forehead to hers. “I love you, Violet Holt. Thank you for saying yes.”
She pulses her arms around me before pulling back. “I love you, Tomer Stillman. Thank you for finally asking. I thought I was gonna die of old age before you got around to it. I’m grateful you proved me wrong.”
Fuck . She’s managed to merge her brat side with her manners.
I’m doomed.
“Sugar bear, when we get back to HQ and everyone goes to sleep, I’m going to fuck the ever-loving hell out of my fiancée. But if you start sassing me, I won’t be able to wait until then. I’ll have to pull over and take you on the side of the road.”
She inhales sharply, audibly pulling the oxygen through her teeth. “I like the sound of that. Too bad you’re full of bull. You wouldn’t dare risk our safety for a roadside quickie.”
“Dammit. Reality sucks.”
Her face brightens, and her shoulders rise to her ears. “Let me introduce you to the unicorns in denial. You’ll love it there.”
“No clue what you’re talking about, but I’ll go anywhere you want to take me.”
The playfulness gradually fades from her expression, leaving behind only tender adoration. She drags her knuckles along one side of my face from my temple to my jawline. “Right now, I want to take you home, even if it’s only our temporary home in a bunk room. I need to make love to my fiancé.”
“Bunk room. Shitty motel. Beach house. Or a penthouse suite. Wherever you are is my home.”
She whimpers, pouting adorably. “ Aw . You were this close.”
I arch a brow in question. “Explain.”
“Home isn’t wherever I am . It’s wherever we are .”
I can’t keep my lips off hers after that. And why bother trying?
“Hey, kids,” Big Al yells, adding a clap of his hands to capture our attention. “Let’s roll.”
Lettie loosens her hold on me, and we stroll toward the exit.
The others have filed out of the pavilion except Jonesy and Aaron, who are pulling up the rear.
When we reach the exit, Big Al stops me with a palm to my chest. “Hold up.” He winks at Lettie before handing me a small package.
It’s oddly shaped and wrapped in thick, brown paper.
I purse my lips, lightly squeezing around the lumps to get an idea of the contents. “What’s this?”
“A little congratulations gift from me and Maddie.” He tips his head at my fiancée. “And Lettie approves.”
Curiosity piqued, I ask, “Do I open this now?”
“You probably should,” he suggests ominously.
Releasing Lettie, I tear into it with both hands. Once I’ve removed the gift from the paper, I hold it in front of me for a long time. Five seconds. Maybe ten.
My initial reaction is confusion, but it’s rapidly replaced by an overwhelming flood of emotions. More like a tsunami.
My lungs seize, the air freezing in my chest.
I’m yanked back in time to my childhood bedroom and the moment when I realized what had happened. What my father had done. The overwhelming sadness and helplessness. The building rage and hatred.
But this time, it’s different.
There’s more inside me than darkness. Hope and gratitude blur the memories, removing the sting of the burn.
I inhale, letting the sweet floral-scented air replace the oxygen the memories attempted to steal.
Big Al—my chosen father—has given me the most precious gift.
It’s a dog collar. Attached to it is a shiny brass tag, but there’s nothing engraved on it.
Not yet.
“We picked the dog. You get to pick the name,” he says.
Without warning, I choke out a cathartic sob, my tears welling in a rush. He grabs me, holding me tight to his chest and patting my back in soothing strokes.
Lettie’s soft sobs wrap around me from behind as if cushioning me with her love. Her tears aren’t born of sorrow or pain.
Neither are mine.
I spin around and encircle her in my arms, eager to deepen the connection and ensure she never feels like she needs to cry alone.
Big Al leads us outside, a pep in his step. Lettie gazes up at me, squeezing my hand almost to the point of pain and beaming at me like she’s going to explode with joy.
When we get outside, I realize why.
The dog.
He’s here. In the parking lot.
Sue’s brother Nick and his wife—my former nemesis, Millie Amos—stand proudly with a beautiful black dog at their feet. Its tail wags, dancing off the pavement as it watches us approaching.
I recognize him instantly. He’s the dog Sue’s been training. However, her brother took over for her when she and Leo began staying at Redleg. She’s lamented about it a few times, wistful for the affection he so eagerly gave her.
Soon, he’ll give his unconditional love to my sugar bear and me. And to our children. For years to come.
The dog—not Leo.
Fucking hell. I couldn’t be happier.
When we get close, Lettie tugging me along since my feet aren’t working, Nick gives a hand signal. The dog hesitates for a second before bolting over to me.
I fall to my knees, petting and hugging it like a freaking child. I don’t even try to stop him from licking my face despite the sensory issues it causes. I’ll wash my face later.
Lettie squats beside me, petting him behind his ears with one hand and rubbing my back with the other.
Laughter rings out. It’s mine.
The dog—name to be determined, but he will fucking have one—eagerly laps at my face. Then it hits me why he’s doing it.
He’s kissing away my tears.
After he focuses on Lettie, I stand and wipe my face with my sleeve, still laughing and overflowing with a euphoric high.
I glance at the man partially responsible for everything good in my life.
He has tears in his eyes. They shine at me like Lettie’s do. The same hue and shape.
Turns out, the dog isn’t the most precious gift he gave me. Although, this good boy comes in a close second to the woman I’ll cherish for the rest of my life.
Alan Lancaster has given me everything.
I’ll protect and treasure both gifts.
And for the first time, I believe I’m worthy.
Thank you for reading Tomer and Lettie’s story. I hope you loved it as much as I do.