Gills
Thankful was what I was. Death was in front of my face with a smile today.
I never knew what could happen, and that was unexpected.
First off, who burns down a church? If Alexis wanted me that bad, she could’ve just come in and gunned me down.
It would’ve been more respected than the bull junk she was coming with.
And yeah, that had Alexis’s name all over it, so I wasn’t aiming for nobody but her.
I didn’t have beef with a soul, but apparently, my presence in her wife’s life rubbed her the wrong way. However, Journei wouldn’t suffer from anything Alexis brought. I stood by what I said. She wouldn’t be harmed as long as God kept me alive.
Everyone was laying up in a hospital bed at some point today from her actions, and that was my family she was playing games with. Hades was itchin’ to surface, and I wasn’t about to hide that side of me much longer.
The door to my room opened as I was in my head. Kégo came in with a nurse and shook his head. He looked stressed out, which worried me a little. It had my thoughts go to Granny and Diego. I knew from the doctors that Journei and the baby were good and sleeping on the maternity floor.
“Sis ’bout to get put out. I need yo’ mummified-lookin’ ass to get up and go calm her ass down. Hittin’ on these nurses like they punchin’ bags. Go let that girl see yo’ face.”
A small chuckle left my lips, which comforted me.
The doctors didn’t lie when they said she was OK.
I quickly learned that Journei had a short temper.
Last night showed me how fast it took for her to pop.
She wanted Galleria’s head on more than one occasion, and if I weren’t beside her, I was sure she would’ve been on her head.
“Bruh, what you want me to do? I’m laid up just like she is. Just tell her I’m good and to calm down,” I responded.
“Nah, nigga, you not hearin’ me. Sis gon’ fuck that white bitch up, and then yo’ baby mama gon’ be in jail birthin’ yo’ son.” Turning toward the nurse, he tapped her shoulder like she was the homie. “Aye, tell him how she cuttin’ up, up there.”
The nurse gave a small fake smile and said, “Mr. Gills, we will allow you to leave your bed for a few if your presence will help.” I nodded and stood slowly.
I woke up not too long after gettin’ there. They informed me on my injuries that were second-degree burns, which explained the wrappings I had all down my left side.
I felt the heat from the fire on my skin while I was pulling Jourdell out the fire. That was somethin’ different on all levels. I’d never smelled flesh burn the way his was. I knew for a fact that his injuries were far more severe.
The nurse brought the wheelchair over that she had to the side of her. It was hospital policy for all patients that weren’t discharged to be escorted by wheelchair or bed, or so she explained after I refused.
I took the seat and let Kégo take me to my woman. I could only imagine the hell my baby was causing.
The maternity floor was more inviting than the burn unit I was in. There was life up there and not just people laying around waiting to die, heal, or whatever their case was.
As we passed a nurses’ station, I spotted a nurse that had a handprint on her face. My thoughts immediately went to Journei being the cause of it.
Kégo stopped in front of her room and reached for the handle. I didn’t know what I would see behind that door, but I was praying my woman didn’t have any injuries period. Someone saying “they’re okay” didn’t always mean they were.
The door opened, and I saw Journei sitting on the side of the bed staring at the wall. She was zoned out and wasn’t no tellin’ what was runnin’ through her head.
I stood up from the wheelchair, and as if she felt me, she closed her eyes and cried. I made my way over to her as quickly as I could and sat next to her, intertwining our fingers. I needed to see her just as much as she needed to see me.
“I thought…” Her eyes were still closed with her head down when she spoke.
“It’s gon’ take more than a fire to take me away from you, mama. You gon’ have to let me see those pretty brown eyes so I can be at ease for a minute though.” I needed for her to see me to know I was still here with her.
Those soft-brown eyes connected with mine, and it was me that was satisfied instead. Journei changed my life in ways I could hardly give details about.
It was weird knowing a stranger had me ready to give up everything I worked for just to have her. The consequences on how she became my world didn’t faze me. I was ready to reap whatever I sowed to keep her.
“I can’t lose you, Christian. If I have to go into mommy mode, then you have to go into daddy mode. We have a child that needs both of us. You can’t save everybody.” I saw the fear in her eyes, and I didn’t ever want to be the cause of that again. It hurt me more than anything.
“Journei, I’m still a pastor at the end of the day.
I will always think of my family first, but he’s yours, regardless of the relationship y’all have.
I didn’t die in the process, and neither did he.
But if it makes you feel any better, I won’t run into any more fires.
” I spoke honestly. It might not have been what she wanted to hear, but it was the truth.
“Oh, so when he come around, you act like an angel but was just ready to beat that white bitch’s ass? Fuckin’ baffling, you hear me?” Kégo’s comment caused everyone to laugh.
Granny and Diego were able to convince the hospital to get us a private room that we could share. Annie Mae was put on oxygen for a few hours after being tested.
She, Papa, nor Kégo weren’t affected the way Jourdell, and I were. Journei was pregnant, so she was being held for observation regardless of how fine she felt.
We shared a room but slept in the same bed. Journei displayed more emotions now that she was pregnant. A hissy fit was what she threw when I denied her request of lying next to her. She was spoiled by my affection and wanted it constantly when I was around.
They kept us for a total of four days mostly because of me and my burns, but Journei thugged it out with me. She was ready to go the first day.
I looked into her eyes enough times to know when somethin’ was bothering her. She held worry and concern in them, so I brought up a topic to see how she reacted. We were alone at the moment, so I was hoping she would voice it.
“Mama, we gettin’ discharged soon. You want to stop and go check on your pops before we head out?” I asked.
The glare she gave was a clear no, but I wanted her to try. She told me there was a time when she loved him, so if they talked about their past, maybe they could grow and develop somethin’ new.
“Please don’t push him on me. You said you wouldn’t let him hurt me and lettin’ him back in my life is exactly what he’s gonna do.”
I nodded and left it alone. Jourdell was fresh for her and wasn’t tryin’ to entertain even the slightest thought of him. Her feelings toward him were almost set in stone. If I pushed, she was sure to push back.
I was about to be a father within the next six months, and my prayers wouldn’t stop for my child to give me a second chance if I squandered the first one. For now, Jourdell was someone I would feed with a long-handled spoon.
&
“Christian!”
That incident had a temporary fixture on my baby. Since we had been home, Journei woke up night after night screaming for me. She went to sleep wrapped in my arms, but it wasn’t enough to ease her mind while she slept.
I tightened my hold on her and kissed her temple. Alexis’s lil’ stunt had my baby shook, and by this time, I was ready to pay her a visit.
I glanced at the clock on the nightstand for the time. It was goin’ on three in the morning, and that made her third time screaming tonight.
It was gettin’ worse, and I was becoming upset more than anything. She wasn’t resting properly, which kept me up, so my tolerance for ignorance was low and thin.
Once her breathing became normal again, I eased out the bed and went to the living room. Kégo was on the pull-out couch cupcakin’ with some nurse he met at the hospital.
I shook my head and continued to the balcony. The weather in the ville was nice and soothing. The lights made the city look good at night.
“You don’t drink, but you need this.” Kégo stepped out with a shot of tequila for the both of us. I took it from him and threw it back without hesitation. The warmth that settled in my stomach from it was welcomed.
“Talk to me, Hades,” he said, refilling my glass.
Hades was a name I was given from the streets before anyone ever knew who I was. They considered me to be the keeper of souls. Once there was a target on a person’s back, the chances of them dodging me was slim to none.
It took Papa a total of three weeks to train and have me out here movin’ like an assassin that’d been doin’ it for years.
I knew I was gon’ be a problem when I did my job, and no emotions surfaced before or after. Hades was a side of me that was hard to contain once loose. I was really tryin’ to stay the person I changed to become.
“I want you and Papa to carry on with Alexis plans. Don’t come back around until I say. We’ll keep in contact over the phone or through Granny. Journei needs to be able to sleep, and so do I. That was foul on how she tried to handle me. Alexis don’t know Hades, but she ’bout to.”
A sinister grin was all I saw on Kégo’s face when I finally turned to face him. He was about to have a chance to play in these streets with his brotha all over again. It excited him and brought out the worst whenever I was by his side.
“Can I say it for the one time?” I nodded and finished the double shot that was poured. “Welcome to the underworld, puta!” he yelled, threw his shot back, and slung the glass from off the balcony.
I prayed for Tennessee, but one bad apple spoiled the bunch.