Journei
Jourdell had been on my mind since I laid eyes on him at the church. Christian knew the details about our relationship, but I didn’t think he understood how I felt when it came to my father. I pissed on myself for fuck’s sake just off him takin’ two petty steps toward me.
I feared that man and didn’t know if I would ever be comfortable in his presence. I had no intentions on bettering shit between us. He caused this distance, so I wasn’t about to put forth any effort in closing it.
Growin’ up, my vitiligo went from one patch to numerous. My mother tried to give me confidence, but my father always tore it down with that one nickname. I hated when he called me “Spot”.
He voiced on many occasions how he would never claim me because he wouldn’t have a child with fucked-up skin. As my father, all I wanted was his love and to be accepted, but he did everything in his power to show everything but that. It was one of the main reasons why I kept men the fuck away.
Now that he was laid up in the hospital with third-degree burns, Christian wanted me to do the Christian thing: forgive him and try to move on.
I wasn’t with none of that shit. I wanted him to die in that fire, then I wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore.
His prison sentence gave me room to breathe, but I always knew he wouldn’t be there for life. He was a free man, and the activity he chose to do with his freedom wasn’t on my agenda.
“You did call Hunz and let him know we were on the way, right?” Christian asked.
“No. I never call. I just use my key and walk in,” I answered.
“Mama, you can’t just be walkin’ in people house. And this is different ’cause it’s not just you coming over. Show that man some respect.”
I was drivin’, so I didn’t look his way until we came to a stoplight.
“Hunz don’t give a fuck about that. Are we not his best friends, and do we not have a key to his crib individually?
” He shook his head as his response, and I continued.
“Exactly, so why would I call or knock? He got cameras anyway. They know who it is walkin’ in there. ”
“That’s not the point, mama. I’m sure that was given for emergency use only. While you with me, don’t disrespect his sanctum.” Eye contact and stern tone was what he gave. I nodded and let it go. An argument would’ve happened, and I wasn’t havin’ it on this pretty day.
We stayed in his condo for almost a week after we got discharged from the hospital mainly because Christian’s scars were tryin’ to heal. He still wasn’t in the clear and was currently wrapped up, but his pain was more tolerant than before.
This baby had me cryin’ more than usual, so anytime we cleaned his wounds, I shed tears. We still didn’t have a clue on who damaged the church or what their reasonin’ was behind it. My money was on my father.
I found it very funny that him showin’ up there and the fire happenin’ shortly after was a coincidence. He had somethin’ to do with it, and I planned on finding out the truth.
Pullin’ into my number two’s driveway, I saw an extra car that I didn’t recognize parked next to his. Christian sensed my curiosity and spoke up. “It’s not your business, mama.”
I delivered a shut the fuck up look and parked in front of the door. Gettin’ out, I went and opened Christian’s door as he would do me if he were drivin’. I liked how he let me be goofy with him.
He let me spread my wings and joined in on my shenanigans sometimes. I held out my hand and helped him out the car. With our hands adjoined, we headed for the door. I was in a good mood thanks to him.
Before he could knock on the door, it was opened by our best friend. He wore the goofiest smile. He was excited for us, and I was glad he approved.
I let Christian’s hand go and jumped into Hunz’s arms. I missed him, and we’d just left each other’s presence two days ago.
“Bestieee. Save me from the world please,” I said as I hugged his neck.
“What’s wrong, best friend? The fuck my boy still wrapped up lookin’ like a roll of toilet paper for?”
I had to laugh ’cause his left side was taking its time on healing. “Don’t do my baby. We’ll tell you once we get out this hot sun.”
Hunz led us to the back patio where he had a few pieces of meat on the grill already. My baby had some side dishes whipped up as if they knew we were coming.
Both of us were pregnant and wanted to chow like pigs at this point. We spoke on the phone every day since I found out and compared what we ate for the day.
I took a seat next to Christian on the sofa and got comfortable. We needed some genuine time with Hunz and Belle Air. Everything had seemed to be spiraling out of control and those two were the only stable thing in our lives right now.
I watched as they displayed casual affection to one another, and a smile managed to stay plastered on my face.
Their marriage was what I envisioned for myself. They argued like any couple would, but the love, respect, and genuineness they held for each other was out of this world.
With Christian, I felt like I could have that. There definitely was a time where I believed I had that with Alexis, but there was also that hint of doubt that I carried around. Love had a funny way of bein’ showed by someone.
“Stop starin’ at them like that. You’re makin’ me jealous, mama,” Christian spoke.
I did a light chuckle and put my head down. He made me blush when he voiced what I did to him. It was new all around, but to know I made someone jealous just from givin’ my attention to somethin’ that wasn’t them hit different.
“I was just admiring their marriage, baby. Don’t get in your feelings.”
“That’s somethin’ I can’t control. I’m selfish when it comes to you. I don’t want to share you period,” he said in a serious tone.
“You already are. Our son will need me just as much as you would. Now that’s somethin’ you can’t control.”
He smiled and showed those pearly whites. His smile was stimulatin’ and caused an easy vibe to overcome me. Christian was becoming my peace in more ways than one. His presence alone kept me calm.
My words came to a halt when someone I hadn’t seen in years stepped out onto the patio to join us. Hunz immediately tried to defuse the situation, but when I said on sight, whenever we crossed paths, that was what I meant.
I shot up off the couch and threw two smooth ones to her dome. Cousin or not, I told Hunz to keep that bitch away from me. Christian yoked my lil’ ass right on up before I could deliver another shot.
“Mama, whatever y’all got goin’ on won’t be handled while you’re carryin’ my son. Now what’s the issue?” he asked directly in my ear.
“Tell him why I can’t stand that bitch, Hunz. And then tell me why the fuck you thought I wasn’t gon’ keep my word.” I was pissed.
“Bestie, she asked if she could apologize. She been tryna right her wrongs lately, so I said I’d set it up for her. Just hear her out,” he spoke.
“Hear her out? Man, if y’all don’t go play in another bitch’s face, I know somethin’. This bitch trashed my name, spread the filthiest rumors about me, and sent a photoshopped picture around the college as if I was some hoe. Ain’t enough apologies in the world, bestie.”
Natii fuckin’ Sinclair—the cousin to my best friend and the bitch that caused all kinds of hell for me durin’ college. Any trouble I got in was behind her ass.
I never understood what her problem was from the jump. She knew Hunz and I were best friends, yet she managed to ignore that.
We started out cool, but somewhere along the line, she switched up and I became her enemy. For years, I was laughed at, and it was all because of her.
Each year, the bitch had a new photo that went around the campus until we graduated. I know she didn’t think I was goin’ to let it slide.
“Jus’ give me a minute to speak, Journei, damn. I can admit I was a lil’ childish back then, bu—”
“Nah, bitch. My lil’ pretty ass had you upset. Speak the truth.” I interrupted.
“Like I was sayin’, I was childish, but that was only because of Gills,” she said and pointed to my baby daddy.
I turned around and gave him the stare down of his life. “The fuck she mean it was because of you?” I all but shouted at him. All he did was shrug with his face screwed up.
“Look, back then, I was datin’ Gills, and for the life of me, I couldn’t understand why he hung out with my cousin so damn much.
I assumed it was so he could be close to you.
I asked him numerous times if he had somethin’ goin’ on with you, and he denied it, but I didn’t believe him.
We ended up breakin’ up, and I took it all out on you,” she tried to explain.
My blood was boiling at that point. That bitch was at my neck over some dick that I had no interest in at the time. I swayed from side to side to calm down. Christian had yet to release my waist.
“I told you on more than one occasion I didn’t know who you were talkin’ about. I never laid eyes on mama until a few months ago,” Christian spoke up.
“I know. Hunz explained everything, and even then, I thought y’all were keepin’ some type of bro code.” She looked at me and gave a tearful apology. “I’m really sorry, Journei. I missed my cousin, and I knew in order to get him back, I had to fix this.”
“Bitch, I got an ass whoopin’ with yo’ funky ass name on it. Gimme six to seven months and I’ll be ready to fix some shit a’ight,” I threatened.
I tapped Christian’s hand for him to let me go. I needed a damn breather, and standin’ there with them was gon’ have me forgettin’ about my unborn once again. I was able to take a step before Christian pulled me back into him.
“I can either piss right here in your hand, or you can let me go so I can handle my business. You choose,” I said, looking back with a mug on my face.
He granted me a head nod, which I assumed meant he was goin’ with me since he still had a grip on my waist. We proceeded to walk past Natii, and I was so tempted to lay hands on her again. That bitch really had a problem.
My body was on fire, and I was filled with anger. Never had I ever fought anybody over dick or pussy, yet I found myself doin’ it with both Alexis and Christian. My luck was shitty at that point.
He walked us to the guest bedroom shutting the door behind us. I went straight to the bathroom making sure to lock it once inside. I needed a minute before he decided to come and smooth things over with his slick ass words. Why me? Damn.