Chapter 20
Two Princes
Callie
The aftermath of my time with Duke, and then with Cash, is devastating. Duke is dark, moody, and hard to read but his affection is searingly intense. Whereas Cash is light, and happy and shows me how he feels with every movement of his body.
I’ve read a lot of romance, and I’ve read a lot of love triangles. I don’t think I can keep them both. We are speeding toward a collision I can’t avoid, but I can stop now. The problem is, do I want to?
I want Duke’s strong appraisal—his rough, but worshipful hands.
His passion ignites fire low in my belly at a single look.
We are fire when we are together, a single spark, and we are ablaze.
The first time, in the truck, where the heat crackled between us as the rain pounded down, the smell of Duke’s wet skin and petrichor in the air, flashes lighting the scene between us in stunning relief, is seared into my brain—the longing, the inescapable need.
After his fishing trip, I was more convinced than ever that Duke could be it.
The stockroom was the most amazing sex of my life thus far.
He studies me, and sees me, honestly, a little too clearly.
He sees my rough edges and understands them in a way we haven’t explored yet.
I still feel the shadow of his touch on my skin, the intensity of his gaze as he watched me come undone. The gentleness of his hold.
I also want Cash’s sunshine. He’s a bright spot every day.
His huge carefree smile. His flirtatious nature keeps me on my toes.
My heart is full of the loving and easy affection he doles out.
The constant tactile communication of his hand in mine, a gentle kiss on my head, a loose arm around my shoulder is something I have never had. It’s addicting.
Cash makes me feel wanted and desired in a real way, like he would welcome me home at the end of the day with a hug and a cup of tea, listen to my stories and laugh along, and be a starving man who needs me as he takes me to his bed.
His sweet kiss standing by the railing eating hotdogs contrasted with the raw hunger in his eyes as he knelt at my feet and worshipped me give me a window into the man I’m just learning about. And I want more.
I’m miles away from wanting to try the children route again, but I can picture him with a little blond-haired baby running around, laughter surrounding them.
So much different than the feeling I get from Duke, who feels like he would challenge me and force me to grow.
These are two halves of the perfect man, if I knew how to build one.
Cash and Duke are two sides of a coin, opposites but complementary, and I don’t want to lose either of them. I’m afraid, however, if I don’t choose soon, the choice will no longer be mine to make. My heart shatters at the thought.
Carrying my heavy suitcase down the stairs, I see my boxes Cash brought down sitting on the floor.
Tilting my head, I study them, trying to figure out where he disappeared to.
I listen closely and hear murmured voices from the library.
Making my way over, I hear Cash and Lizzie speaking with a teasing quality to their conversation.
“...didn’t know was missing but everyone else saw it. I hope it works out. Because, sweet Cash,” Lizzie pauses for a second, “you aren’t falling for her, you are already gone.”
Backing away, I feel like lightning has struck me right in my chest. Thinking back to last night and Duke’s words—
“...I already fell harder for you than I did for Indie in half a dozen years and if you walk out…I won’t be able to handle it.”
My stomach does a flip. Cash hasn’t confessed these feelings to me, but I can feel them in his touch.
The way he looked up at me when he was kneeling at my feet, the excitement in his posture, his voice, when he presented me with his necklace.
Wrapping my hand around the charms hanging between my breasts, I want to cry.
Because, I think, I’m falling in love with them both.
Sitting in my new apartment, surrounded by my sparse belongings, I lean back on my couch.
Cash left a few hours ago, citing exhaustion from getting home late.
I see the little touches I picked up this past couple of days.
A fluffy bright pink pillow on the couch, a large round rug under the coffee table with a flowers and bugs motif in bright happy colors of pink, purple, and teal.
The black dishes I have sitting on the counter, waiting for their cabinet. The small shoe rack by the stairs.
It’s not home yet, but it’s a hell of a lot closer to one than I had two weeks ago. Deciding I need to address the elephant in the room, and in this town, I take my phone from my pocket and select the name from the contacts.
“Hello?” I hear her questioning voice.
“Kayla? Hey, it’s Caroline. I was wondering if you guys were free for dinner? I know the bar is closed tonight so I was hoping...” I trail off, not sure how to finish the sentence. I have no idea what I’m doing when it comes to the men in my life, but maybe I can make a friend or two.
“Oh, hey Caroline. Yeah, that would be awesome. Why don’t you come over here? Maybe like six? I’ll text you the address.”
“Perfect! I’ll see you then!” I chirp happily. I hope I don’t sound over eager, but I’m excited to make some friends. And these women have known the men in my life a long time, forever really. I just hope they won’t be mad when I ask for their advice.
Pulling up in front of the tiny bungalow in a cute little neighborhood on the edge of town, I admire the cute blue house with white shutters and wish for something like this for myself.
Remembering I finally do have something I can call my own in my little apartment, happiness and pride swell in my chest.
I ring the doorbell but don’t hear the telltale bark of dogs.
The door swings open to Sadie standing there, her brown hair piled in a ponytail on top of her head and her brown eyes looking at me with open curiosity.
She’s wearing a simple sundress, and her bare toes are painted a bright pink.
I extend my hand for a shake before she seems to realize she’s been staring at me.
“Shit, hey, Caroline. Sorry, that was incredibly rude. Welcome, come in.” She steps back to make room for me to enter the little house and Kayla comes around the corner, a kitchen towel in hand. She’s casual tonight, wearing black leggings and a tank top.
“Caroline! Welcome. I’m so glad you finally reached out.” She comes over, pulling me in for a hug before backing away.
“Hi,” I respond shyly, a little nervous because of the warm welcome from these women.
After a few hours, a few glasses of wine, and a belly full of spaghetti, we are settled in their cute little living room on a bright green sofa, surrounded by muted tan and white decor.
I keep a very close eye on the glass of red wine I have clutched in my hand.
Sadie watches me closely, like she has something to say.
I don’t want to confront her but tonight has been such a good night with new friends and I feel like there is something on the table between us and I want to know what it is.
Feeling emboldened by the wine, I ask her.
“Sadie?”
She turns to look at me, a slight tilt to her head. She doesn’t say anything.
“Why are you...looking at me like that?” Kayla looks over at her, a questioning look on her face, before looking at me, furrowing her brow.
“Well.” She sucks in a breath, seeming to gather the courage to say what she wants to say.
“Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you and Duke.
It’s none of my business. But Kayla said you came to the garage with Cash Colter and y’all looked really cozy.
And I’m not stupid; I know what happened at the bar on Saturday. ”
Kayla gasps before elbowing Sadie softly.
“No, I told you I wouldn’t say anything, but she asked.
I also suspect the reason you fled so suddenly after what happened is because of Cash.
So let me let you in on a not-so-little secret.
Indie tore his heart out and left us to pick up the pieces.
Cash, Kayla, and I held that damn place together while Duke drowned his sadness.
And I don’t want to sit by and watch you hurt him. He’s hurt.”
I sit quietly for a few minutes, the two of them equally as quiet watching me. I roll this information around my brain and realize she’s right. Of course she is. He deserves to at least know. Tears start to fill my eyes, and I blink them away.
“You’re right. Dammit, I’ve fucked up. I don’t know what to do.”
“Yes, you do,” Kayla tells me solemnly.
In the car an hour later, I scroll to the name I’m looking for, pressing the call button. Ringing fills the car.
“Hey,” he says, his voice low, tentative.
“Hey, Duke. How are you today?”
“I would be a lot better if I knew what happened yesterday.”
I take a deep breath. How could that have been just yesterday? It feels like seconds ago but also years.
“What are you doing tomorrow? I have to work in the afternoon, but I wanted to see if you wanted to stop by for breakfast. In the morning. So we can talk?” I let the question hang.
“Nothing good ever follows ‘we need to talk.’ Yeah, I’ll be there.” His scared voice from the beginning of the call has a rougher, sharper edge to it now. Like he’s trying to control himself.
“I meant what I said last night. I can’t give you all of myself. But maybe you deserve to know why.”
“Alright, Caroline, I’ll be there. Around ten, okay?”
“Yeah, ten is perfect.”
Hanging up, I reverse out of the driveway and head off to the store. I need supplies for this incredibly awkward conversation. I don’t think I made the decision to choose Cash at any point. The fire burning between Duke and I feels too real, too ready to ignite. It’s too intense.
Cash feels easier, something I’m more ready for. And I am going to have to break my own heart.
At exactly ten o’clock, on the dot, Monday morning, I’m pulling a freshly baked blueberry lemon loaf out of the oven when Duke knocks on the door.
“Come in!” I call out loudly, hoping he can hear me down the stairs as I have a whole Donna Reed thing happening with my apron and my potholder as I present my homemade food.
I hear his heavy footsteps on the stairs and see his head appear at the top.
He looks at me with his usual searing intensity, and peruses me from head to toe, pausing on my flowered apron and my bare feet.
He toes off his boots, and I’m fascinated by him in his socks.
It’s oddly comfortable, knowing under this intense, broody man is just a guy with messy brown hair and clean white socks. It’s humanizing, I guess.
He gives me a half smile, not nearly as radiant as the one I got in the stockroom, but I’ve figured out by now he doesn’t share them much and that one was special for me. In his hands, he has a bag and a cup carrier with two cups of coffee in it.
“When you invited me, I didn’t know if this was a ‘let me cook you breakfast’ sort of situation so I brought some biscuits and coffee.” He gestures to his packages, awkwardly.
Smiling brightly, I rush over and take them. “No worries, more food is better, not worse. Hey, maybe you won’t like this homemade bread and freshly cooked eggs and bacon thing I’ve got going on.”
He gives me a deadpan look that makes me laugh. I set the food on the counter and unpack the bag.
“I’ll definitely take the coffee though. I can never make it as good as when you buy it somewhere, you know?” Taking a large sip, I moan a little with pleasure at the rich, nutty flavor.
Duke’s eyes darken at the sound, and I clear my throat. I can’t let the fire grow right now. Not in this quiet, private place.
“Let’s eat,” I tell him, trying to redirect.
“I would love to,” comes his purred reply, which almost makes me drop my coffee, my gaze finding his and seeing a little mischief there.
“Flirt.” I carry the food to the table and set two plates out. “Sit.”
“She’s bossy, today.”
I put a hand on my hip, cocking a brow. “You better listen then.”
He does. I cover our plates with food, hiding behind the tasks to delay the inevitable. We eat silently for a few minutes before he looks up at me, a piece of blueberry bread in his hand.
“This has got to be the best blueberry bread I’ve ever had. Seriously, Caroline. Amazing.” He takes another bite, and satisfaction radiates through me at the praise. I’m apparently a sucker for Duke’s praising mouth, and he seems to like it too.
“I think it’s time to talk,” I say. His face immediately falls, the comfortable moment interrupted, and I immediately regret bringing it up. “Before I can get to the end, I need to tell you the beginning.”
With his smoldering gaze on me, I begin.
“I grew up in a small town in North Carolina, not super unlike this one but with a beachy vibe since we were near the coast. I had two amazing parents who were madly in love. I went away to college, like one does, and spent four years buried in books, studying. I graduated with a degree in English in June and I met the perfect man in September. Freshly twenty-two and freshly out of college, I was a little reckless, a little impulsive and a lot lost. And Roger seemed perfect. He was considerate, kind, and doted on me like a lovesick puppy.” He watches me warily, but his face gives nothing away.
“We dated for four years before he took me to Savannah for a long weekend and proposed in front of the fountain in Forsyth Park. It was like a fairy tale and my prince was down on one knee promising to love me. Of course, I said yes. He had spent four years devoted to making sure I knew he loved me every day. I planned the perfect wedding for a year, it was stunning. We got married by the river under a canopy of calla lilies and gardenias. I loved those flowers so much. I could still smell them in my hair the next morning.” I break off, my voice cracking.
I see his jaw tighten, almost imperceptibly.
I know this is going to be a tough conversation.
And at the end, both of us will have our hearts broken.