Chapter 35
Free and Easy
Duke
“I meant what I said when I said I would be there until she doesn’t want me to be,” I tell Cash on the drive back to Inspiration. The doctor thinks he will be sending Caroline home tomorrow, and we have work to do before she gets there.
She was sad to see us go this afternoon but it’s a few hours’ drive home and we need to get the house ready for her, stop by her apartment and get her some clothes, swap trucks, sleep and get back, all before visiting hours start.
“Okay, but ‘it’s the three of us or nothing’ sounds really...ominous. Are we in a throuple? Are you my new boyfriend?” Cash bats his eyelashes at me.
“Shut up. I honestly don’t know if any of us know what the hell is going on. If it’s worth anything, I don’t actually think that’s what she meant. I think she is trying to figure this out, just like us, and the only way to do it is if we are together.”
I drum my fingers on the wheel as we cruise toward town. Pulling up Sadie’s number on my phone, I listen to it ring a few times before she answers.
“Hey, Boss. How’s Billings?” She’s been taking care of the dogs and the house while I’ve been away.
“I’ll be back tonight so just check in on the dogs this afternoon. Sadie, I appreciate you doing all this.”
“How’s Callie?” News travels fast in a small town and while everyone doesn’t know the exact events from that night, they know enough to fill in a fantastical story for what they don’t know.
“She’s good; they are sending her home tomorrow. I’ll probably be at Waylon’s this weekend. Thanks again.”
As I hang up, Cash speaks up, “Did you know they are saying you and I burst into her house, guns blazing?”
“That’s honestly better than the real story of us sneaking around like cat burglars.”
He snorts out a laugh. “Are you okay, you know, with everything?”
He means the shooting. We haven’t talked about it. We’ve tap danced around it while we worried about everything else going on. But now, since Caroline is coming home and is on the mend, I don’t blame him for wondering.
“Yeah, I think so. Like, prior to that moment, I never considered I would need to use it for protection, even though that’s the reason I had it in the truck.
I’ve taken all the classes, you know? And we’ve been hunting our entire lives.
But I’ve never actually pointed a weapon at a person.
” I exhale heavily. “I guess, I’m glad I had it, and I could bring myself to use it.
Using it to protect the girl I love? Worth it, I think. ”
He nods his head sagely. “Speaking of the girl we love, how do we tell her that?”
“We don’t. Not yet. She just went through something awful. I think supporting her through it is showing her how we feel but she doesn’t need the burden of the obligation to confess her own feelings. Besides, she might choose one of us.”
“I know. And when she picks me, don’t hate me, okay?” He laughs as he says it.
I reach out and punch him on the shoulder across the cab.
“Ow.” He rubs the spot. “Damn, Duke, it was a joke. You been working out? I’m going to have a bruise.”
“Like I said, dramatic.”
By six am, we have accomplished a long list of tasks. We picked up Dolly and Hank and brought them to the ranch, along with some of my clothes and things since I’m sticking around. Now there are twice as many obnoxious dogs.
We went to see the state of things at Caroline’s apartment and discovered the door was fixed and we could go in and get some of her stuff. We just threw everything we could into a few suitcases we found. The clothes in the closet, we left, but we got socks, pajamas, leggings, t-shirts, and panties.
Cash set Caroline up in the room across from his and I’m next door. I have the hall bath, but the guest room has its own bath. Cash would have probably given up his room if it didn’t. He wants everything perfect.
“She won’t want to sleep in your man-whore bed anyway,” I tell him as we bring her bags into the guest room.
He looks a little contrite. “You think I should buy a new bed?”
“For God’s sake, no. Just wash your sheets, you heathen.
And spray some Febreze. Actually, open the windows.
It smells like musk and pussy in there.” It doesn’t, but I like the embarrassment he wears.
“Do you think the room will do for her?” I follow up as I put some of her soft things from her own bed onto this one.
Lifting a cute little stuffed animal to my face, I smell the strawberry and vanilla scent that always clings to her.
Since being in the hospital, she doesn’t smell like that anymore.
I went into her bathroom and grabbed her shampoo and conditioner as well as other toiletries.
I don’t know which one makes the smell, but I want it back.
We aren’t going to unpack her things; she will want to do it, but we put out a few things to make her feel at home.
“I wish I knew what kind of food we should stock. I didn’t even look in her kitchen.” Cash wanders around, picking things up and moving them before moving them back. “Oh, she loves the coffee at Lizzie’s. I’m going to go get her some so she has it here. I just want her to be happy, Duke.”
“I know, me too.”
Climbing up in his, honestly, stupidly high truck, I look over at him and it seems like we realized the same thing at the same time.
“Dammit, Cash, why is your truck so fucking stupid?”
“Duke, I’ve never needed to transport someone who couldn’t climb in here.” We sit there trying to figure out how to solve such an absurd problem.
“Got it.” Pulling out my phone, I scroll to K.
“Hello?” she answers on the third ring, her voice heavy with sleep.
“Kayla? Good morning.”
“What the hell, Duke? Its–6:45 am and in case you didn’t remember, my wife worked until one o’clock in the morning at your bar and now you’re calling me this early?”
“I figured you would be up, you know, for the garage.”
“What do you want?”
“We have a problem. You know how Cash has this stupid ass truck up in the damn sky?”
Cash smacks me and I smirk at him.
“Yes?”
“And my truck doesn’t have a backseat. Well, we need to get Caroline today and bring her home. Can we borrow a car?”
She exhales a long, loud, tired-of-this-shit kind of sigh before telling me to meet her at the garage in half an hour.
“This…Kayla.” Cash gives her a long look. “This is a mini-van, Kayla.” He looks personally offended that he is trading his jacked up pickup for a minivan.
“Ashley James Colter, you two fools woke me up and dragged me from my warm bed before seven in the morning, begging for help, and now you’re complaining about the help I am offering?” She crosses her arms, leveling him a look.
“Nope, absolutely not. Thanks, you’re the best!” he yells as he goes around to the driver’s side and climbs in.
“Seriously, you’re a lifesaver,” I tell her.
“I know, I know. You owe us. Take care of her, Duke. And tell her to text me.”
“Sure thing.”
Driving down the highway a few hours later, Cash gushes over his newfound love for a minivan, “I have to admit, it does drive smooth. And the gas mileage, amazing.”
“Great, you can trade in your truck for one. Maybe throw a couple car seats in the back.”
“Look at all the storage in this thing!” he tells me, popping things open and pressing buttons.
“Cash, just drive.”
“You’re mean.” He pouts.
A laugh erupts from me. I hope beyond hope I get to have the girl I love and my best friend. It will kill me if I have to choose.
Back at the hospital, we find Caroline sitting up in bed, a tray of food in front of her. Her smile is radiant when we enter.
“Hi.” She gives a little wave before biting into a piece of toast.
“Hey, Hurricane.” Cash drops a kiss on the top of her head.
I’m struck by how comfortable their affection feels, how casual.
Caroline and I have always been like fire.
All or nothing. But we never managed to make it to the comfortable, warm blanket stage—the gentle hugs and cuddling before falling asleep.
The little kiss before walking out the door.
It makes my heart ache to see it. I want that for her, with her.
“Brought you something.” He holds out his hand and the necklace dangles from his fingers.
“Oh my god, Cash!” she exclaims, reaching for it.
“I’ll do it.” Moving her hair, he clasps it behind her neck, kissing her shoulder gently.
Nudging him out of the way, I lean down and press a gentle kiss to her mouth.
No expectations, no lingering, just a small kiss.
She gasps a little and her lips part. It physically pains me not to deepen the kiss and drive into her mouth, tasting her.
I lick her bottom lip just slightly before standing up.
Her breathing comes out a little erratically and her cheeks flush.
I wink before taking my usual seat next to the bed.
Cash smiles at the two of us, radiating pleasure.
I want to be as at peace as he is. When I watch the two of them, I’m not jealous he’s next to her and I’m not.
I just want a piece of their affection for myself.
I want to learn how to love her the right way.
I will learn to love her the way she deserves. Even if that love is returned by only half of her heart.