Chapter 39
On The Road Again
Callie
Lying in bed, I stare out the open curtains to the bright stars shining over fields and pastures. Happy isn’t even the word I would use to describe the pure, all-consuming joy I’ve felt recently. Spending my life in this place could be enough for me.
They could be enough for me. Am I brave enough to take it?
They aren’t making me choose right now; they don’t even seem to care when they see me intentionally not choosing. At the end of this week, I will have my body back. It will belong to me again. Roger won’t be in control of what I do—the same way he hasn’t been in charge of who I am for so long.
If I decide to turn my life into a romance novel and choose to love them both, what will happen?
We can remain here, in my gorgeous slice of peace tucked away on the ranch.
But Cash is a public figure, and we live in a very small town.
Judgement is definitely a possibility, though any woman who has seen Cash and Duke side by side surely can’t judge me.
I’m going to keep them. Both of them. This can be our future if I’m brave enough to try and keep it.
Grumpy Not-Cowboy
Goodnight, Sunshine. It feels good to be back behind the bar, but I would rather be with you.
Night night, Grumpy. I’m lying in bed, thinking about you.
I send a selfie of me, in my oversized sleep shirt, hair messy, lying in the millions of pillows on my bed.
I hear a gentle knock on my door along with the ping of an incoming text.
“Come in,” I call out as I wiggle down further into the bed.
“Hey, Hurricane, I just wanted—what are you doing?”
“I’m snuggling. This bed is so comfortable and so many pillows. It’s like a nest.” I giggle.
He probably thinks I mean a bird’s nest, but that’s only because he’s never read an omegaverse novel. He jumps onto the end of the bed, and I squeal out in protest.
“No boys in the nest!” I yell from under my pillows.
“Not even if I do this!” he yells as he dives under the covers, lifting my shirt and blowing a raspberry on my belly button before capturing a nipple between his teeth.
“Ah, stop,” I tell him playfully. It tickles but also sends tingles from my ears to my toes. Suctioning his mouth around it, he pulls it deep and hard before letting go with a pop, making me giggle more.
“I just wanted to say goodnight, but you’re so damn cute.” He climbs up my body until he’s beside me, wrapping his arms around me. He turns me slightly, my back to his front, his hips pressed against me, his cock wedged between us.
He kisses my neck gently where his chain hangs. Capturing my wrist, he studies the bracelet before he kisses there too.
“Do you think this can work?” I ask him quietly as we cuddle in the dark.
“What, us? I hope so.”
“No, all of this. All of us.” I hide my head a little in the pillow, so my words are slightly muffled. “All three of us. I don’t want to choose. I can’t. It will destroy me.”
His arms tighten around my waist, holding me closer, while being mindful I’m still healing.
“I suspect it would kill us too, baby. I can’t speak for Duke, though I have spoken to him quite a bit, and I don’t think either of us is interested in forcing your hand.
We may be in a bubble right now, but no one has power over us, except us.
Why don’t you talk to Duke about it? For me, I’m as content to share you with him as I can be. I just want you to be happy.”
“Goodnight, Cowboy.”
“Goodnight, Hurricane.”
I don’t feel him crawl out of my bed but when I wake up at one-thirty, Duke leans over me.
“Hey, Sunshine, I just got home, and I wanted a kiss goodnight. Sorry I woke you.”
I smile broadly at him. “I’m happy you came. Lay with me?”
He unbuckles his jeans and pulls them down his legs and pulls his shirt over his head, putting both on a nearby chair, laying his hat on top.
“Scooch,” he tells me, so I make room, and he climbs in, lying on his back.
I cuddle into his side. With his long arm wrapped around me, he pulls the back of my shirt up, exposing my skin.
We lay together in the quiet with only the bright light of the moon illuminating us.
He draws gentle circles on my flesh, soothing me to sleep.
It’s so opposite lying with Cash, who fidgets and snuggles.
Cash is warm and all hard lines that surround me completely.
Duke is a little softer but calmer too. He’s perfectly still except his hand on my back.
I rest my arm on his abdomen, curling my fingers into the hair there, causing his muscles to bunch and release periodically.
It makes me feel whole, complete, to have gotten both of my men in bed with me tonight.
Duke’s rubbing slows, and his breathing deepens. He’s falling asleep and my heart explodes with joy at having him here. Cash cuddling my back would make this better, perfect.
“I love you,” I whisper almost inaudibly into the dark.
He freezes for a minute before pulling me more on top of his body, kissing the top of my head. “I love you, Caroline,” he whispers back, just as quietly.
Again, the differences in our declarations of love are stark, but they feel right, for each man.
The rest of my forced rest week is much the same. Cash has to leave on Saturday morning for the rodeo and won’t be back until Sunday afternoon. I think he’s a little sad he will miss the end of my ‘rigorous activity’ restrictions, but nothing can be done, it’s his job.
We sit and have breakfast together, the three of us, on Saturday morning before Cash leaves. Gathered around the little table, with what seems like piles of dogs at our feet, we feel like the family we’re creating.
“So,” he drags the word out about twenty letters long and Duke rolls his eyes. “It’s been two weeks since you came home.” The casual use of home as it refers to all of us makes my heart sing. “How do you feel?”
“Perfect. Good as new. Well, almost. I’m not going riding anytime soon but for the most part, I feel so much better.” It’s been four weeks since the incident and my body has bounced back.
“Speaking of riding.” He side-eyes me. “While I’m riding bulls, you two kids have fun.” He grins, cheeky.
“I do still have to work too, you know,” Duke responds, his face concentrating on his eggs. He’s clearly not as comfortable as Cash with joking about sex in front of me, about me.
“I know, but listen, I’ll be gone for the night. Y’all can watch the show. Then, because I’m the sexiest man alive, you won’t be able to control yourselves.”
I throw a blueberry at him. “Yeah, okay.” I tell him, laughing.
“Can I come down to the bar, Duke? To watch the rodeo?”
“Why would you think you have to ask, Sunshine?” He looks at me with curiosity. “You don’t have to ask; you can come anytime you want.”
“That’s what she said,” is Cash’s snarky reply.
Duke and I swing our eyes in his direction, both wearing the same face of exasperation. He laughs back.
“Okay, I will then. I like it there.”
“Alright, Hurricane, I gotta run. I love you!” Pulling me from my seat, he wraps me in his arms and kisses me.
Deep and consuming, It’s only seconds before my belly is alight and I crush myself against him, feeling him harden against my belly.
Extricating himself, both of us breathing hard, he says, “Whew, sit back down. The first time we are back together, it can’t be me bending you over the table in front of Duke.
” And with those parting words, he sweeps out of the room.
I hear him putting his boots on before the front door opens and slams behind him.
Duke watches me silently as I take my seat, my cheeks surely pink.
“What do you want to do with your day before I head out later?” Duke asks me as we sit, the room suddenly silent and a little colder without Cash.
“It feels complete when we are all together,” I tell him, a little sadly.
Grabbing my hand, he says, “I know.”
Sitting on the porch in the afternoon sun, I decide to bite the bullet and ask Duke what has been on my mind since I spoke to Cash about our unusual situation.
“Hey Grumpy, can we talk?” I look over at him, relaxed in a rocking chair.
He looks momentarily concerned but replies, “Sure, Sunshine,” all the same.
“I was talking to Cash and—”
“Don’t listen to anything he says,” he tells me with a laugh.
“I asked him about our...situation. About all our situations.” I trail off somewhat, unsure of how to continue.
He stops rocking and rises to join me on the porch swing.
“What exactly is your concern, Caroline? Let me help.” He’s stoic as always in that comfortable, present way. He wants me to feel better, to not worry, and I love that.
“Can this work? Between us?” I ask him.
“What do you mean? I’m sorry, Caroline, but I’m going to need you to spell it out for me. I want to answer the right question, not volunteer the wrong thing.”
“I can’t choose, Duke. I am in love with you.
And I’m in love with Cash. You two are so opposite and everything feels so right.
” Tears fill my eyes at my confession. I’m terrified of pushing either of them away, of hurting them.
Duke is sensitive and has been hurt before and my fear of hurting him is the reason I’m in this to begin with.
Holding my face, he kisses the tears off both my cheeks before running his thumbs under my lashes.
“Sunshine, I have never, in thirty-seven years, been happier than I am at this exact moment. I don’t pretend to know the answer to any of these questions or how we will figure this all out, but I can promise you, with certainty, you are it for me.
If this falls apart, then I will move on, but there is no way I’m leaving until you tell me to.
That’s exactly what I told Cash when you were in the hospital.
” He hugs me to his chest before holding me at arm’s length to look into my face.
“This was my idea, Sunshine. Making a go at it. I want this.”