Chapter Nine
“ N o.” Gia handed Rocky a plate.
He put it in the dishwasher. “Stop saying no. We haven’t had a complete, honest conversation about it.”
She wiped the counter. “There was no talking to you while we ate. You were face down in a plate of spaghetti and that wasn’t even real sauce. If I made homemade sauce and meatballs for you, you probably wouldn’t be able to speak for days.”
He froze with his hand in a box of dishwasher tablets. “Don’t tease me, woman.”
She tossed the towel on the table. “You’re impossible.”
He pressed start and chased her into the living area. “I’ve made a sincere proposal. I think we should genuinely talk about it.”
She stopped and turned to face him. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to make light of your proposal. If you’re truly serious, we should explore it. Where should I sit? I don’t want to take your spot.”
“You can have the recliner. It’s really Max’s spot. That’s where he sits when we’re watching movies.”
“I’ve heard that name before. Friend from church?”
“Yeah. He plays drums in our worship band and will be leading the new youth service that starts at the end of July. We hang out, work on cars together. Guy stuff.”
She nodded.
He panicked. Now that she was seated and listening, he didn’t know what to do. Yes, he was sincere. Yes, he wanted to marry her. Did that help his case? Not really. He could see why she’d think him a lunatic.
“I’ll get something to write on.” He zipped toward his office.
“Why do we need something to write on?”
He pulled a two-by-four-foot whiteboard from behind a bookcase. “Because,” he called back to her. “We’re going to approach this from a logical perspective.” He rummaged through a basket full of office supplies in search of a marker.
Her eyes grew wide when he returned with the board and propped it on the couch. She sighed. “Where has the romance gone?”
He uncapped the marker. “I told you I could do better, but we’re trying to have a logical discussion.” He made two columns and scrawled headings at the top.
“Pros and Cons? You’re determined to suck the magic out of this, aren’t you?”
“Logic, Gia. We’re tackling an issue. Now quit goofin’ off and focus before I withdraw my proposal.”
“Fine. Con: We don’t know each other that well. Con: This doesn’t seem like something God would appreciate. Marriage should be serious and forever when possible. Not an escape route. Con: My parents don’t give a flip, but you seem to have a real relationship with yours. This wouldn’t go over well.” She paused to take a breath. “Are you getting all this? Because I’m being focused and logical. Con: You are well respected in this community and have ministry at church. You show up married to a pregnant woman you hardly know, and tongues are gonna wag. I can’t jeopardize you in that way. Con: Babies may be blessings straight from God, but they are also exponential pooping machines that are expensive and take over your life. That’s fine if you’re ready, but I don’t have a clue yet what to do with one. I can’t let you take on an eighteen to twenty-five-year commitment because you want to help me today. Con: I don’t know what kinds of repercussions are headed my way from the rapist. I can’t let you be in danger on my behalf. Con: Me. I’m the con. You’re a great guy, Rocky. I can’t let you settle for me. I’m not good enough for you.” She stood and slipped her feet back into her flip-flops. “So there you have it. Logic. I appreciate the proposal, but it can’t possibly work. You deserve better.”
He capped the marker and slid it onto the whiteboard tray. “Well, you seem resolved to not give this a fighting chance. I’m not an idiot, Gia. I have thought of all this.” He fought for a breath. Her passionate refusal didn’t offer much hope. “I know we don’t know each other that well, but I thought we had a little more than casual interest going on between us. I would have sworn there was something to build on.”
“Oh, Rocky, don’t you see why this is so hard? We do... We did have something to build on. I’ve never had much success with men. I always get hurt in the worst way. But I enjoy every minute we spend together. If this hadn’t happened to me, we would be dating like normal people. I think I would have been able to resist my natural impulse to run away like I always do because of fear. I think I could have stuck around to see how it turned out.”
“Then don’t run away now. Stick around and talk about it. I should get to address your lengthy list of reasons this won’t work.”
She returned to the recliner.
“First of all, I’m not afraid of that rapist. We’ll figure out how to deal with it. You need to talk to the authorities about it, but it’s something we’ll discuss. All I can say about God is that I’ve scoured scripture and prayed about this. We would not be unequally yoked. Can God really be against two people who care about and respect each other and join together to give a child what he needs?”
She picked at the crocheted blanket. “I don’t know.”
“As far as my friends and my church family, they want me to be happy. If there’s a problem, I’ll take care of it. As long as we’re doing the right thing, I’m not going to let someone’s personal opinion dissuade me. It’s no one’s business but ours.”
She continued to pick at the blue and white yarn in the throw. If she was starting to like the idea, it didn’t show. At least she was still sitting there.
“Most importantly, Gia, I don’t know what other men have done to you besides the assault to make you so skittish or feel like you’re not good enough to be happy, but I’m crazy about you and I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay here and marry me and let’s take this one thing at a time and let it happen. It’s life. Let’s choose to live it together and put all the ugliness behind us.”
“You make a very appealing argument.”
“Is that a yes?”
“No.”
“Is it my parents? Believe me, they are a non-issue. I’m a grown man. They’ll be surprised, but they’ll get over it. In fact, they’ll be delighted once they get used to the idea. This means a grandbaby, remember? They’ve been wanting one of those.”
Her sudden gasp was a loud one. She left the chair, made a lap around the kitchen, and returned with a glass of water.
“What’s the matter?”
“Talking about a grandbaby... My parents are going to be grandparents. It’s surreal.” She swallowed a big gulp of water. “And you’re forgetting the health of this baby. I’m worried about that—his health and mine. The doctor is testing for diseases. Bad diseases.”
“Keep the faith, Gia. The chances you’ve contracted something are rare.”
“I know the statistics for me. But what about the baby? What are the chances the pregnancy will even survive after such a violent beginning?”
“I don’t have an answer for that, but you’re OK so far, right? And you were in great health before this happened?”
“Yes. I was able to get an appointment for Friday with an OB-GYN. It’s after I see the other doctor and pick up all the results she has.”
“You’ll feel better after that.”
“I know I probably can’t stay with that doctor because of insurance—or lack thereof—but I need to see someone as soon as possible and get some information. Google says I need pre-natal vitamins. My headache comes back from time to time, and I don’t know if I can take anything.”
“That’s the kind of thing we’re going to figure out together.”
She tapped the side of her glass and kept talking as if she no longer heard him. “At any rate, you see again why I can’t marry you. You’re basing your proposal on a baby I’m not even sure we’ll ever get to meet.”
“O- K ,” he said and scrambled to the kitchen. “We’re going to move on from here.” He flipped on the light and opened the freezer door. “C’mon in here. No more logic.”
He gave up on the rational approach. Seeing her slip into darkness faster than he could pull her out called for desperate measures. He stormed onto Plan B—the romance and ice cream approach—which was sure to work because chocolate was involved.
He snatched a banana from the fruit bowl and got the nuts out of the pantry. “This all right?”
“Sure.”
“Chocolate syrup?”
“Duh.”
“That’s my girl.” He pulled two spoons out of the drawer. “Let’s go.”
“Where are we going?”
“To the patio. It’s late, so the mosquitos are gone, but I’ll light a citronella candle.”
She opened the door. “I thought I saw a patio out here, but I was afraid to get too close in case it was off limits like the garage.”
“Nope. Patio’s all yours.”
“But stay out of the garage, right?”
“Yep.” He set the bowl on the rust-covered bistro table, lit the candle, and proceeded to his only other piece of outdoor furniture. “Have a seat and keep the glider from gliding, please.”
“Sure. I can see where that would be dangerous.”
“More like embarrassing. I usually make it a rule to not transfer to moving objects. If I’d known the lock mechanism was broken, me and Max wouldn’t have stolen this from my mother’s back yard.”
She laughed and took the spoon he offered. “Can it be fixed?”
“Probably. Unless something’s snapped off completely. In that case we’d have to weld it and it’s not worth it. We haven’t had the chance to take a proper look.”
He settled in the seat. “OK, cuddle on up here to share this ice cream and prepare to be wooed. I have candlelight, chocolate, moonbeams... I would have flowers except that Mrs. Konchesky has a shotgun and doesn’t like people clipping her roses without permission.”
“Stay away from that old lady. She’s dangerous.”
“Aw... I think it’s sweet that you’re jealous.”
“I’m not jealous. Are you ready for your talk tomorrow?”
“I think so. It’s getting easier every week. I’m starting to feel more comfortable.”
“Good. Rebekah said there’s a box of my things in the office. I told the directors it was all right for you to pick it up.”
“I’ll get it.”
“I didn’t tell them I was here, but I told them you knew where to find me.”
He nodded and scraped a banana slice from the bottom of the bowl. “Let me ask you something.”
“I can’t marry you.”
He sucked the last of the chocolate off his spoon and ignored her comment. “I know we’re on a tight schedule here because of the baby and all, but when you agree to marry me, I’m going to want to ask your dad for your hand.”
“That is not gonna happen, Rocky. And don’t bother giving me the well-mannered Texas boy and southern gentleman speech again. If things had been different and we had gotten to that point, I still wouldn’t want you talking to my dad about my future.”
He took her spoon from her, dropped it into the bowl with a clank, and set it aside. “It’s time for you to be honest with me about your parents. You get all blustery and defiant whenever they come up. Wouldn’t they want to know what you’re facing? Wouldn’t they want to help?”
“Probably not.”
“Now see? You need to explain that. If we’re going to be married, I need to understand the family dynamic.”
She shot him a look that said she still wasn’t going to marry him, but that she might be ready to talk about her parents.
“All right.” She twisted a strand of hair around her index finger and then swept it away. It took another minute of lip chewing and nail biting before she started the explanation. “My parents are the pastors at a huge church in Dallas. They’ve been there for years. They travel, write books, and both have successful ministries. I grew up there in a nice home and had everything I needed.”
“That’s horrible, Gia. However did you survive?”
Her frosty glare nearly made his ice cream headache return.
“Sorry.”
“I had everything I needed—everything but personal attention from my parents. I am an only child. The beautiful daughter who sat on the right pew, wore the right Easter dress, and smiled, and did all the polite and cute things I was supposed to do to make us look like the perfect first family of a mega church.”
“And then...”
“And then one day I hit my breaking point and turned into one holy terror. I hit middle school and started a rebellion that is still one for the record books. I kissed bad boys in the church balcony and smoked cigarettes behind the fellowship hall. I sneaked out of church and learned about marijuana behind the convenience store right off the church grounds, and broke my good-behavior covenants on nearly every youth retreat and activity I attended. I had my first taste alcohol three minutes before the biggest Christmas pageant spectacular in Dallas. The zinger there is that my parents never knew. Why? Because I didn’t see them that day. They were busy with everything else. Someone told them my cheeks were bright pink and I looked like I was going to throw up. Maybe I was sick. My parents sent the message I was nervous and would be OK. They didn’t check on me personally. I found the boy who had vodka in a baby bottle and took another big swig.”
“How is it they were missing all these cries for help? I mean, I’m assuming that’s what you were doing, right? Trying to get your parents attention?”
“I imagine. You know the rule: negative attention is still attention. And it was hard because they are really gifted pastors and leaders. They love Jesus, they love their people, and they’ll do anything for that church. They just didn’t know what to do with me. Especially when I acted out.”
“People can be great people, but not necessarily great parents.”
“I believe their answer was denial. That’s what they did. They’d get calls from school, and they’d blow it off. Gia’s impulsive, Gia’s high strung—it won’t happen again. But they never really dealt with my potential drug and alcohol problems and sure never got to the root of it.”
“That’s rough.”
“I look back on that and sincerely think their plan was to get me through high school so they could ship me off to college and they wouldn’t have to deal with me. Out of sight, out of mind. Toss her in the water—sink or swim. She’ll grow up, she’ll figure it out, she’ll land on her feet.”
“I don’t want to make light of anything, but you did figure it out, right?”
“Yes, but it was a long, destructive journey. And everything I’ve already told you is not the worst of it.”
He put his arm around her. She snuggled closer and made herself comfortable against him.
“What’s the worst of it?”
“So, I started my senior year of high school and two things happened. The first one was good. The directors at Towering Pines asked me if I wanted to apply for a junior counseling position that following summer. No pay, but room and board and lots of experience and training to possibly become a camp counselor. All I could think of was that I would get to leave home as soon as school was out. They had weekend retreats and training workshops all that year and I loved it. I was on my best behavior. I couldn’t believe someone was interested in what I knew about Jesus. I may have been out of control, but I’d been listening all those years and did know the Word. And when I was with the camp people, all that good stuff I knew was in there came out. I’d found a place to belong.”
“But something else happened your senior year.”
“Yes. I was struggling academically. I could do the work, but I didn’t want to. School bored me. I hated it, but I was trying to get through. My dad had an associate youth pastor whose wife was a teacher. I went to her classroom two days a week after class, and she helped me with my work. Most days, she took me home with her and I had dinner there. They were young, no kids yet. They used to tease that I’d be their go-to sitter as soon as they started a family. My parents had told them about all my struggles, and they were privy to my discipline issues at school. I knew this guy’s job was to counsel me into making better, Biblical decisions.”
“But I’m guessing that’s not what he did.”
“Oh no. Usually we went to his office—right off the dining room—after dinner. His wife was in the kitchen loading the dishwasher and listening to praise and worship music, and I was being chased around a couch in the room next door. It was gross and despicable. I wasn’t a small child he could coax onto his lap and make a game out of it. I was full grown and understood things. He blatantly shoved me against walls and groped at my private parts. He delivered my all-time favorite line by a rapist and pedophile. I’m not going to force you, Giavanna. You’re going to have sex with me because you want to and will enjoy it. I threatened to tell my father. That pastor looked at me with cold eyes and simply said, He won’t believe you. ”
Rocky pulled her closer still and stroked her hair. “Did you tell your father?”
“Yes.”
“What happened?”
“It was October. It was two weeks before the homecoming dance. I was already grounded and told I couldn’t go. I didn’t have a date anyway, but I was going to go with a group of friends. So, I tell my father about his associate. And he kinda walks around his office and stares out the window and finally he turns around and says What would you have me do with that information, Gia? This is a man’s career and ministry we’re talking about. You need to be careful with your stories. Someone could get hurt. ” I was shocked, but it’s not like I hadn’t told some pretty fanciful lies, so I knew he didn’t believe me. What’s worse, he said if I didn’t continue to get help from the guy’s wife and keep my grades up and graduate, he wouldn’t let me go to camp when school was out. Then he gave me five hundred dollars.”
“ What ?”
“Yeah. Five hundred dollars. For homecoming and a pumpkin patch.”
“I thought you were grounded from homecoming. And what does this have to do with a pumpkin patch?”
“I was grounded. But I had asked him for money the day before because the other big church in town had a pumpkin patch. At camp training they were always having friendly competitions and games. It was my turn to come up with something. I was going to buy pumpkins after Halloween when they were next to nothing, and take them to camp for an activity. They have a big open field out there. My thought was we would do our very own pumpkin smash and build devices to launch pumpkins.”
“That’s a great idea.”
“I know. But my dad only gave me twenty dollars the day before and I figured I’d have to get them to donate the leftover pumpkins once I told them what they were for.”
“But now you had five hundred dollars.”
“Yep. And it was crazy because he knew I had problems. Who gives a kid five hundred dollars when they could spend it on cigarettes or alcohol or worse? It defies explanation. Anyway, he looks straight at me in all seriousness and says, I know you’re on restriction and we told you homecoming was out of the question, but it’s your senior year. You should go with your friends. Spend that money on a dress, shoes, whatever you need. You can use what’s left on pumpkins. I took the money and walked away.”
“And you kept going to the associate’s house.”
“Yes. And I kept dodging his advances. On the other hand, I had so many pumpkins in the back of my car it nearly dragged the ground. It was one of the most successful camp games in history.”
“But basically, what your dad did was give you hush money.”
“Yes, he did.”
“Please tell me that guy got what was coming to him.”
“It took a few years, but someone finally caught on. He’s not in ministry anymore.”
“And I take it you haven’t settled this with your dad.”
“No.”
“Now I see why you want to use your psychology degree to work with children.”
“It’s a terrible thing to be a child and need to say things and need people to hear you and you can’t speak clearly or they don’t listen and no one understands. I always listen to kids, Rocky. Even when I know they’re lying to my face. There’s a reason they’ve concocted that lie, and the truth is in there somewhere. It’s usually connected to a hurt or a rejection. Someone needs to listen and find it before the kid becomes destructive.”
“You do have a gift with children. That was evident from the first day I met you.”
“Well, now you can see why I do not feel the need for anyone to ask for my hand in marriage. My father does not get the privilege of giving his blessing.”
“Gia, Gia, Gia... Once again, I am sorry so many men have let you down.”
“Don’t be sorry, Rocky. You are the last man who should say I’m sorry to me.”
“I’m not helping anything. Here I am pressuring you to do something you clearly don’t want to do. I didn’t mean to be one of those guys who tries to talk you into something or take advantage of you.”
“Apples and oranges, Rocky. The situations do not compare.” She nuzzled in closer and put her hand on his chest. “Why is your heart beating so fast? It’s trying to thump out of there.”
“Anger. Frustration. I can’t believe what you’ve been through.”
“Don’t blow a valve on my account. I’m not wor—”
“No.” He pushed her away to the point she was forced to look at him. He placed two fingers against her lips before he had a chance to think it through. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you.” His fingers slid away from her mouth. Suddenly he was holding her face in his hands, gazing into her velvet brown eyes—and fighting with everything not to kiss her and send her screaming for her car. “I cannot listen to you say one more time how you’re not worth it, or not worthy, or not deserving, or whatever other phrases you use to beat yourself up. You’ve had a bad run, it’s over now. And even if I was the only man on earth who knew how beautiful and remarkable you are, I still would not be alone. You are a child of God. Someone died for your sins. Don’t forget that.”
Now he’d done it. Huge puddles of water formed instantly in her eyes and trickled—no splashed—onto her cheeks.
“I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“I’m not crying.” She propelled herself into his arms. “I mean, I am a little,” she said against his neck. “But I’m not usually a crybaby. I think it’s my hormones or something.”
“Um... Yeah.” He didn’t care what it was as long as she stayed there half on and half off his lap, clinging like a vine on Mrs. Konchesky’s trellis.
She scooted away from him and dabbed her eyes with the edge of her shirt. “Thank you, Rocky. For everything.”
Somehow saying you’re welcome didn’t sound right in his head. He’d been hoping for more, she’d given all she knew how to give. If the proposal had been the right thing, it was turning out very wrong. Her sudden, powerful embrace was obviously not the yes he wanted. It was the goodbye he dreaded.
“You should get some sleep,” he said. “It’s late.”
“About the proposal, I appreciate it, but—”
“Don’t mention it. It was wrong to pressure you. In fact, proposal withdrawn. No worries. Forget it.”
“I know you were trying to help.”
“OK, you need to stop talking, Gia, because you’re making it sound like the offer was some sort of rescue mission based on pity or something. You need to understand my proposal was completely sincere, completely serious, and I was completely committed to it and you.”
“I know.”
“No, I don’t think you do, because there are other factors we didn’t get to discuss because you were so determined to not seriously consider it.”
A slight breeze caught nearby branches and caused dappled light to dance across her face. “What factors?” she asked so softly he almost didn’t hear.
“My injury. You don’t know the facts. There are complete and incomplete spinal cord injuries. Mine is complete. That means no sensation below the point of damage to my spine. This is where most people don’t understand the details. Due to medical advances, there are ways for me to still father a child of my own. But it is highly unlikely. I was taking all things into consideration when I suggested marriage. I have strong feelings about family and about you. While that baby was not the only reason for my proposal, it would certainly have been an honor and a blessing to raise that child as my own.”
“I—”
“And while we’re on the subject, if you would have seriously discussed things with me, I would have also assured you that intimacy was not off the table either when we’d grown to that point. I wouldn’t selfishly put you in a position to live without that. Just so you know.”
“Well... I... I assumed as much,” she stammered. “I didn’t know any specifics, but I guessed there’s more than one way to...”
Her voice trailed off, her blush so bright she nearly glowed in the dark, and he couldn’t ever remember being so annoyed or exasperated.
He reached for his chair. “Enough said. Go to bed.”
“Can we sit here for little while longer, please?”
Her gentle request amidst the clamor of the awkward moment surprised him further. He raked his fingers through his hair. Why, Lord, why does this not end?
“Sure,” he said.
They sat there together staring off into the night.
It hurt him all over—inside and out.
GIA’S EYES CAME OPEN in a wide awake stare from what she thought was a deep sleep. She glanced at the time on her phone. One-thirty a.m. Had she even really been asleep?
She kicked off the quilt. Rocky didn’t keep the house that cool at night. Either that, or the intense heat during the day made it hard for his AC unit to keep up. Maybe it was the internal heat lamp that resided in her body and fanned to flame each time her heightened emotions began to stir. It could simply be the effect Rocky had on her. All his warm hugs and kind words kept a perpetual red tint on her face. Everything he did made her feel good. She trusted him.
She turned on her side and punched her pillow into position. She needed to get out of his house.
Or she needed to marry him.
“No, no, no, ” she whispered and flopped to her other side. “It wouldn’t be fair. Lord, please help me with this. It’s too hard.”
This time she flopped on her back and started an exercise she used at camp when she couldn’t quiet her mind. She lay perfectly still and focused on the Bible. First she’d recite all the books in alphabetical order. If she was still awake, she’d recite them in the order they appeared. If that didn’t work, well...
“A. Acts, Amos. No Bs. C. First and Second Chronicles, Colossians, First and Second Corinthians. D. Daniel, Deuteronomy. E. Ecclesiastes, Ephesians...
Gia’s eyes once again came open in a wide awake stare from what she once again thought was a deep sleep. Her heart beat wildly as if trying to escape from her chest. She flipped on the bedside lamp and grabbed her phone. Two-thirty a.m. In a cold sweat, she clawed at the quilt and used it to cover her body and soak up tears from her cheeks. Crying again? Why? She pulled a box of tissues to her side and wiped her nose. Fragmented scenes passed through her mind. She felt the professor’s hand on her leg as though it just happened. A second later, the side of her head felt sore. She rubbed the spot and remembered her hair being tugged. No, not tugged, yanked . She’d sensed that pain before. Now she was more awake, feeling things, experiencing things, and wishing it would stop. She hugged her knees to her chest and rocked like a frightened child. Lord, please let it stop, please let it stop, please let it stop... I want to feel better. I want to feel safe.
She took her journal from the bag beside the bed and recited verses God had reminded her of throughout her ordeal.
“Philippians 4:6-8. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things .”
Slowly she was comforted, overwhelmed by God’s steadying hand. He was healing her. Fear left her body and sleep beckoned.
For the third time, Gia’s eyes came open in a wide awake stare from what she thought was a deep sleep. Three-thirty a.m. Her journal lay open in the light from the lamp she hadn’t turned off before she fell asleep. Proverbs 20:6 leaped off the page. Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find? A bubble of joy bounced around in her heart. “What are you saying, Lord?”
Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?
She jumped out of bed, wrapped the quilt around her body, and went straight to knock on Rocky’s door.
“Gia? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she said with her hand on the knob.
“Give me a minute and I’ll be out.”
“No. Stay put. This won’t take long and I’m a mess. Can you hear me all right?”
“Yes. Do you need something?”
She pressed her forehead against the cool wood. “Let’s do it.”
There was a long moment of silence in which she nearly chewed off her entire thumbnail.
“Uh... I knew you wanted me Gia, but I’m not really that kind of guy. However, if you’ll give me a minute to freshen up...”
She smacked the door with her open palm. “You know what I mean, Rocky. I’m accepting your proposal.”
“I withdrew my proposal.”
Oh. Right .
“OK, then. This may be the lack of sleep and recent hallucinations talking, but I do have some clarity and peace now so... Rocky, will you marry me?”
More silence. And this time she knew he was only doing it to irritate her.
“I know my proposal was over a dipstick, but how seriously can I take this question if you’ve been hallucinating?”
“Sorry. I’m completely in my right mind. Rocky, will you marry me?”
“Do you have some sort of token to seal the deal? It’s customary.”
“ You didn’t have a token.”
“You don’t know that.”
“You had a token?”
“You’re getting off track.”
A narrow swatch of light appeared under the door. “Don’t get any ideas about coming out here, Rocky. You stay on the other side of that door. I mean it.”
It swung open anyway with a whoosh of air. He was sitting there in the dim light with no shirt and sleep-ravaged hair.
And all those muscles.
“Really, Gia? You thought I would stay on the other side of the door for this?”
She pulled the quilt tighter around her body. “The better question is why are you sleeping in red and green flannel pajama bottoms? It’s a hundred degrees in here. Were you expecting Santa?”
“You’re wearing a quilt. Were you expecting someone Amish?”
“I don’t have a robe. Can we get this settled?”
“Sure. I don’t sleep in these bottoms. Pajamas are too much of a hassle for someone like me. Makes it hard to turn over in the bed. All that fabric sliding around and getting tangled. Too much trouble. I keep these close in case I need to get up in a hurry. Like tonight. Or if there’s a tornado or something.”
“Thanks for explaining, but what I meant was, can we settle the other thing.”
“I know what you meant, but you asked a question, and I answered it. In other news, yes, we’re getting married. We’ll get the license tomorrow. We have to wait seventy-two hours to get hitched. We can drive out to Max’s great-uncle’s ranch on Sunday. He’s a retired judge and a Christian. He can do a faith-based deal rather than a basic civil ceremony. It’ll take five minutes. I’ll call him tomorrow. Or make that later today. That will give your parents time to get here if you want that.”
“No, I don’t want that. At this point I’d rather let them know everything after the fact. Plus, I need more information about the baby, and I need those test results... But I completely understand if you want to tell your parents.”
“No. If we’re going to exclude some family, we’re going to exclude all family. That’s the kind of thing that could cause hard feelings later on. If neither comes nor has advance knowledge, one can’t hold it against the other. We’ll deal with them all later.”
“You’re a wise man, Rocky.”
“It’s like I said on our first date. Once in a while you should listen to me. Sometimes I know what I’m doing.”
“I realize that, and I appreciate it, but don’t get too caught up in your own greatness yet. We have a long road ahead of us.”
“There’s something else.”
She leaned against the door frame. “What?”
“I know you want to keep things between us, but everyone is going to know about everything soon.” He nodded toward her stomach. “It will become obvious. We need people in our corner who know the real story and have our backs. I want Max to stand up with me when we get married. I can’t ask him to do that without giving him the truth.”
“I understand. I know we have to get out and about. I need to meet your friends, your family.”
“Do you have someone to call? Maybe Rebekah?”
Twinges of loneliness pricked at her insides. Even if they took a year to plan a blowout wedding event, she still wouldn’t have a best girlfriend. Rebekah was sweet, but she was little more than an acquaintance.
“Well, think about it,” Rocky said. “I’ve already decided to stay at Max’s for that seventy-two hours. You and a friend can have the run of the place.”
“I’m not booting you out of your own home, Rocky. I can go somewhere.”
“You’re not going anywhere. I’ll be in and out to check on you and take you to the doctor and stuff, but I know you feel weird about it anyway, so I’ll sleep elsewhere.”
Gia shuffled her feet and gathered the hem of the quilt off the ground. “Now that we’ve made a plan, I guess we should get some sleep.”
Rocky peeled her hand away from bunched-up fabric and pulled it to his lips. His kiss was tender against her fingers. “I know this hasn’t been the proposal of your dreams, but I promise I’ll do anything to make you happy. I’ll make Sunday a good day. Tell me what you want, and I’ll do it.”
“I’m not worried. It’s like you said earlier. It’s life. We’ll put all the bad stuff behind us and live it.”
“What made you change your mind?”
“I had a Jesus Jolt.”
He laughed. “Never heard of it.”
“It’s my own thing. It’s what happens when I need to hear from God, and suddenly, I do. Usually happens in a hit me over the head kind of way because I’m often hard of hearing. That’s why it’s a Jesus Jolt and not a Jesus Jab.”
“As long as it’s from Jesus.”
“Oh yes. God speaks to me from his word. Sometimes in the words of Jesus himself.”
“What was it he said?”
“I’ll keep that to myself for now. You have your garage, I have my Jesus Jolts.”
Rocky stretched and yawned. “About the garage...”
“Nope. You can’t bargain your way into knowing my conversation with God. As long as I don’t hear phrases like the hoard is growing or I used to have three cats and I haven’t seen them for months , I’ll stay out of the garage.” She started down the hall. “Go back to sleep.”
“Wait a minute. Are you kidding me? You come to my door at four in the morning and propose and you’re not going to kiss me?”
She paused and waved her hand around between them and then glanced at her makeshift robe and then at his bare chest. “It wouldn’t be proper.”
His half-blank-half-disbelieving stare was hilarious.
“Don’t make fun of me,” she said and laughed.
“I’m not making fun. I want to kiss you. I know everything between us will take time...” He cleared his throat and backed into his room. “Fine. Don’t kiss me. I have things to do anyway.”
“I’ll kiss you Sunday,” she called over her shoulder.
“Yeah, whatever, I need to go look for that token.”
She stopped short and turned. “You really had a token?”