9. Jensen
9
JENSEN
“ N ow’s not a good time,” I say as panic threatens to pull me under. Remi screams again, the tears more than I can handle from my sweet baby girl. She’d apparently lulled me into a false sense of confidence last night and this morning before Nessa left.
And I’ve been struggling to get her settled on and off since.
“Looks like it’s the perfect time,” Mason says as he and Bodhi push into the house. “May I?” he asks, holding out his hands, and I nod, watching in fascination as Mason handles Remi with an expertise I didn’t expect.
“What do you need?” Bodhi asks me as Mason moves to the couch, cooing to my daughter and patting her back.
“I—I don’t know,” I admit running my hand through my hair.
“Have you showered?”
“What? No, but—” I look down at the clean T-shirt I threw on this morning and only find a couple spots of questionable material.
“Go shower. Take a breath and we’ll take care of the baby. When does she eat next?”
“Not for another hour but I don’t know what happened. We did well overnight, but now everything I’ve tried isn’t working.”
He shrugs. “She’s a baby. Sometimes that’s just it.”
“Also,” Mason says as Remi settles against him, “Nessa might not be her biological mom, but she’s been the constant in her life for months. It’s going to take some time for her to adjust. It’s nothing personal, okay? Her entire world was one person and it just got bigger, but she’s still gonna have to bond with you. You’re doing great.”
I want to ask why he’s so confident, and why Bodhi just moves around wordlessly and tidies up while seemingly handing things to Mason before he asks.
But I know why. And if I didn’t realize it before, I do now, but I don’t dare ask. It’s not my business how many foster homes they were in, how many kids they saw come and go, what it was like.
It’s none of my business, and because I’ve seen some things I wish I could forget, I won’t ask them to relive any of it.
“Man, I forgot how much I missed babies,” Mason says while Bodhi’s lips twitch.
“Really? Because I live with one and it’s not all it’s cracked up to be.” Bodhi grins as Mason’s jaw falls open.
“Baby, huh? Did I not just make you dinner?”
“Your skills are improving—I’ll give you that,” Bodhi agrees, trying to look serious and failing. “Better than that casserole you tried.”
“Don’t remind me,” Mason huffs before placing a sleeping Remi in the Pack ’n Play.
“How did you do that?” I ask totally in awe.
“You just have to stay calm. You’re learning but she’s learning too, and you need to give both of you some grace. But see? You’re already killing this dad thing.”
“I don’t think that last part is true,” I say wryly as I rest my hip against the counter.
“He means you’ll find your rhythm, and even if you don’t know what to do, you’ll be confident enough to figure it out.”
I stare at the both of them, each far younger than I am, and at least in this case, far more worldly. I’ve been in situations far more dire than this, but somehow being in charge of such a tiny little life—my daughter—has taken me out at the knees.
“So,” Mason starts with a twinkle in his eye that already makes me wary, “are you gonna shower or do you wanna talk about the super-hot blonde who spent the night?”
I snort and shake my head. “I’m showering.”
“He’s so easy,” Mason says to Bodhi, the two of them snickering at my expense, but I don’t care because they saved me today and I have no doubt they’ll do it again.
NESSA
NESSA: I have a confession
The message barely shows it’s been delivered before my phone starts ringing. Kinsley is breathless when I pick up, completely skipping the pleasantries. “What? What happened? Where are you?”
I worry my teeth against my bottom lip as I tap the steering wheel with my thumb. “I didn’t take the apartment.”
“Okaaaay.” She draws out the word, clearly waiting for more.
“Jensen asked me to stay at his house to help with the baby. I told him I needed time to think about it but apparently not that much because I just told Coach Turner that I’d found alternate accommodations.”
“Want me to pretend I didn’t see this coming?”
“Yes.”
“Oh my gosh! This is wild! I can’t even believe it!” Her delivery is overdramatic but it’s perfect because I can feel my shoulders relax as I slump back in my seat and laugh.
“That’s exactly the kind of enthusiasm I was looking for.”
“You know I only do that for you, right?”
“I know and your efforts are appreciated.”
She snorts. “Uh-huh. So, roommates with the sexy sheriff?”
“Yes.”
“You’re totally gonna sleep with him.”
“I am not. There will be rules.” There have to be rules. I don’t say that part out loud because it’s far too revealing—even to tell Kinsley.
And she’ll never let it go.
“Rules are meant to be broken.”
“Not when the stakes are this high. I want to be in Remi’s life and I don’t want to cross any lines we can’t come back from.” I huff, annoyed.
“Fine. But I’m still going to gloat when I’m right.”
“We’ll see.”
“Yes, we will.” She pauses and I can imagine the wicked grin on her face. “Is that where you slept last night?”
“Yes. In my own room. Alone.” The last part should be implied but I still want to make it clear.
“Thou doth protest too much.”
I laugh as I stare up at the university, wondering why I wanted to talk to Kinsley about Jensen and not the incredibly humbling opportunity before me.
Meeting with Coach Turner had been the last thing I wanted to do when I’d arrived, and now I can’t hide the smile thinking about what the next couple of months will look like.
“You’re not even listening,” Kinsley says with an amused tone. “Go home and get settled and text me later.”
“I will.”
“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“Love you too, Kins.”
She makes a kissing noise and then disconnects the call. Shaking my head, I throw my phone back into my purse. I already miss my best friend and it’s only been a day.
Sighing, I put my seat belt on and turn up the radio. “Two Night Stands” by Kylie Morgan comes on, and all I can do is glare at the screen as I punch the button to change the channel.
There will be no happily ever afters in Blackstone Falls or anywhere else. Soccer is my life, and it’s about time I remember it.