35. Jensen
35
JENSEN
T he last few days had all blended together and between Nessa’s last game at the university, Kinsley’s surprise visit, and everyone excited for the holiday, I’d barely slept. Remi seemed to be going through a sleep regression which the baby app on my phone said was normal but wildly inconvenient after we’d been lulled into a solid routine.
Somehow, I’d managed to get everything done despite working a double the last two days. After this sixteen-hour shift, I’ll have a couple of days off, and Nessa assured me we’d celebrate Remi’s first Christmas.
Logically, I know she won’t remember that we didn’t celebrate on Christmas, but it still has my shoulders slumping just a little.
“Merry Christmas, Sheriff,” Austin Kidd says as he walks into my office with a stack of presents in his arms. “Where do you want me to put these?”
“Merry Christmas, and uh, what are those for?”
Placing them on one of the open chairs in front of my desk, he chuckles like it should be obvious, but this is a first for me.
“We all wanted to make Remi’s first Christmas real special.” Austin smiles in a way that makes him seem exactly his twenty-two years as he points at the framed picture of Remi on my desk. “We know you’re private but we’re still a family here. You made us a family and you’re here all day. You honored your promise so everyone else could spend it with theirs tonight.”
Sitting back, I study the young man in front of me, touched by his words and also relishing the fact that I made the right choice when I hired him. He’s still green, but his uniform is pressed, his shoes are polished, and he’s eager to make a difference.
He reminds me of me at that age.
“I’m not sure what to say,” I start, my eyes landing on the neatly wrapped packages for my daughter.
“We’re excited to meet her, watch her grow up.” With his eyes twinkling, he adds, “Maybe drive her home from a few parties when she’s older when we get calls for kids out in the fields and she wasn’t where she was supposed to be.”
“It’s too soon to give me that much anxiety.”
He laughs but I’m not kidding.
“Fine. Any news on that baby that was surrendered to the FD a couple of weeks ago?”
I nod. “A family member reached out to the caseworker after they found out what happened. They want to adopt her,” I say, my throat dry as equal parts joy and devastation course through me.
Being a father has changed me, and I send up a prayer that her family will love her to the end of the world like I know Hayden and Everett do. The complexities of the situation make it impossible to not feel something. The onslaught of emotion is never-ending, but I’m saved from delving any further down the rabbit hole when a friendly face appears in the doorway.
“Knock, knock,” Miss Thelma says before walking in and joining us in the office. She has a couple of gift bags and a basket of muffins which Austin helps her set down. She’s decked out in a red-and-green-swirl print top with a picture of Louise wearing a Santa hat front and center.
It’s truly an eyesore, but as always, I’m sure that was her intention.
“Mornin’, Miss Thelma,” I say, standing and rounding my desk to give her a hug. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas to you too.” She pats my cheek, her face full of affection before turning to Austin and repeating the greeting.
“Big plans today?” he asks her and she nods.
“I’m heading to the Thayers’ tonight and then a couple of the widows are headed out for drinks.”
“Make sure y’all have a ride or call us,” I say pointedly and she shrugs.
“How much trouble do you think a bunch of old gussies can get into on Christmas? I mean really, Jensen.”
“A lot if you’re involved.”
Austin snickers as she grins because we both know she’s proud as hell of that fact.
My cell phone rings in my pocket, and I pull it out to see my mama’s name flash across the screen. Excusing myself, I step out into the hall and answer, “Merry Christmas, Mama.”
“Merry Christmas, Jensen. How is our sweet girl?”
“She’s good. We’re celebrating tomorrow; I’m on another double today.”
“It will be so special.” Her voice is subdued, and I know she’s thinking about not bein’ here.
“Mama, there was no way to know how everything was gonna work out. We’ve always celebrated when we could all be together, and it’s a tradition we’ll continue.”
“I know.” There’s a muffled conversation before my father joins her on the line.
“Merry Christmas, son.”
“Merry Christmas, Dad. Did you make Indie waffles this mornin’?”
“Course. She wanted chocolate ones and we made a caramel sauce to drizzle over the strawberries. Then sprinkled powdered sugar on top.”
“Always a classic,” I concur with a nod even though they can’t see me. My father and Indie have a binder full of winning waffle combinations from every Christmas since she was seven. They’d included a few other special occasions over the years that had been particularly momentous, but the binder remained sacred.
Just for them.
Reaching up, my fingertips trace over my bottom lip.
I’m smiling, because the thought of having that someday with Remi has a wave of joy running through my veins, lighting me up from the inside out.
“We tried to change our flights but there’s a storm comin’ in this week and?—”
“Mama,” I say gently.
“I know, I know,” she huffs and I can’t help but chuckle.
“Enjoy your time with Indie and we’ll see you soon, all right?”
She sniffs as we say our goodbyes, and I have to remind myself that even though I’m a mama’s boy and would move mountains to make her happy, this is for the best.
Things with Nessa are tentatively good and I don’t know how many holidays we’ll have like this.
I want to make it count.
And all that starts just as soon as I get out of here.
NESSA
I’d woken Jensen up with a Christmas blow job, then kicked him out of bed before his alarm went off so he wouldn’t disturb Remi. He’d pouted a little but only because he didn’t know we planned on bringing dinner to him later.
Remi and I spent the morning wrapping the last of the presents, making lasagna, and getting everything ready for Jensen’s big surprise. We played Christmas music and I twirled her around the kitchen, my heart having never been so full. It was silly but it had been a long time since I’d let myself just be in the moment, completely uninhibited.
Grabbing the red sweater I just ordered online, I pull it over my head and smooth it down as my phone rings.
“Merry Christmas, Kins,” I say as I put the call on speaker and fix my hair in the mirror.
“Merry Christmas to you! Are you wearing the sweater I sent?” she asks and I laugh.
“No, I ordered this one. I’m wearing the one you got me for our friends’ Christmas.”
“You’re adorable, you know that?”
“I don’t think many would agree with you.”
“Well, they can sit on it and rotate for all I care.” She huffs and I have to pull my hand away to make sure I don’t get lipstick all over my face as I laugh at the indignation in her voice.
“What, did you miss your newly scheduled booty call?”
“Hardly,” she scoffs. “I don’t know why you think I need a man. I do just fine on my own, thank you very much.”
“Oh my gosh, you like him.” The words sound like an accusation—because they are. In all the years I’ve known Kinsley, I’ve never seen her date anyone, and I’m pretty sure that’s what she’s doing even if she can’t admit it.
“That’s absurd. You can choose to have repeat sexual encounters with mind-blowing orgasms and not get attached.”
Letting out a low whistle, I don’t bother responding because she’s in denial and it’s working for her.
For now.
“Do I know him?”
“You…don’t not know him.”
Her cagey answer is just one more confirmation that something is definitely different about this guy. He’s kept her attention, and she’s being secretive which either means she doesn’t want to jinx it or they’re not supposed to be together.
Both options have my lips turning up into a smile.
“I better be the first to know if anything happens.”
“There’s nothing to know and—” Her rant is cut off when Remi fusses in her bassinet. Her cute babble turns to whines as I look at her on the monitor.
“Kins, I have to go. Remi just woke up and we’re surprising Jensen at work with dinner.”
“I didn’t know you could be so domesticated. It goes along with you trying monogamy.” She mock gasps before we both dissolve into giggles, finally saying our goodbyes and hanging up.
It was a much-needed reprieve from the butterflies in my belly just from thinking about being in Jensen’s professional space.
I’ve seen him in uniform plenty of times, but I’ve never visited him at work. Looking at the clock, I hustle around the room before getting Remi and loading everything into the car.
Garlic from the lasagna wafts from the passenger seat where I’ve stashed bread and a salad I threw together before we left. The streets are quiet, everyone tucked away with their friends and family.
My heart squeezes in my chest because Christmas had never been something I cherished as an adult. My family had mostly gone their separate ways with plans around the world and we caught up when we could.
But Jensen recognized the importance of his deputies being home with their families and sacrificed his own holiday traditions to make theirs a reality. Such a selfless act has tears clouding my vision, and I have to blink them away as I pull into the parking lot and put my car in park.
I want to blame my talk with Kins for making me emotional, but it’s been happening more and more since I landed in Blackstone Falls. Ignoring my internal struggle, I pull out my phone and type out a text to Jensen.
NESSA: Sheriff, I need your assistance
JENSEN: If that’s a role-play thing save it for tonight—it’s just me and the rookie and I can’t be walking around here half hard the rest of the shift
NESSA: (laughing emoji) (skull and crossbones emoji)
NESSA: Remi and I are in the parking lot and I have too much to carry
JENSEN: You’re here? I’ll be right out.
True to his word, Jensen appears in the doorway of the sheriff’s department like some kind of western cowboy, and my panties are soaked at just the sight of him.
“This is quite the surprise.” He grins before taking my face in his hands and kissing me slow and deep. “Merry Christmas, Trouble.”
“Merry Christmas, Sheriff. We brought dinner.”
“You’re full of surprises, Miss Hart.”
I blush at the compliment as he says something into his radio, a young deputy bounding down the front steps a moment later. He’s green and hopeful, and I feel the same kind of passion radiating off him as I did coaching at the university.
“Merry Christmas. I’m Austin,” he says, holding out his hand. He’s handsome, his light hair cut short and his eyes like a muted cyan—less bold but still striking.
I shake it and give him a smile. “Nessa, and same to you. I didn’t know what y’all were eating tonight but I brought lasagna.”
“I’m definitely up for Christmas lasagna,” he says with a wink.
“Good, come carry it inside,” Jensen growls, making both of us chuckle as he grabs Remi from the backseat.
Austin maneuvers everything up the steps, the automatic doors opening at his approach. I’m about to follow him when Jensen’s hand lands on my forearm.
“Thank you,” he says, the intensity of his gaze threatening to swallow me up. “I can’t tell you what this means to me.”
Licking my lips, I confess just as much. “I couldn’t bear the thought of not spending it together. You deserve this and so does she.” I nod toward Remi who munches happily on her toy keys.
Leaning forward, he presses a lingering kiss to my temple, the gesture making my eyelids close as my lips part.
“We all deserve it, Ness.”
Straightening, but not moving away, I give him a watery smile. “Then let’s go eat before it’s cold.”
“After you.”