41. Nessa
41
NESSA
AGENT: Why haven’t you gotten back to me?
AGENT: Did you see what the Tornadoes are offering? It’s everything we asked for! Even those little add-ons you kept texting me in the eleventh hour
NESSA: How long do I have to decide?
AGENT: Your contract is up after this season and they want to have it finalized before preseason is over
AGENT: Did you miss the part where I said it’s everything we asked for?
NESSA: I heard you I just need to think about it
T ossing my phone into my purse, I take a steadying breath and clasp my hands in my lap to stop them from shaking. I know there’s going to be a slew of messages waiting for me, but I can’t think about it now.
This is everything I’ve wanted—everything I’ve worked so hard for.
The mantra repeats over and over in my head, morphing from my voice to my father’s. I shouldn’t have this much doubt; I’m at the top of my game and my career is everything I’ve dreamed of.
Dreams change.
Not this much.
Pushing out of the car, I jump when I hear the car door next to me slam shut as Lana carries a tray of something toward me.
“Are you all right?” she asks and I nod.
“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”
“You’ve been sitting in your car for the last ten minutes just staring at the house.”
Blushing, I clear my throat and give her my winning smile. “And you were too scared to go in by yourself?”
“I don’t know these people,” Lana scoffs, her brown hair falling in loose waves around her shoulders and her makeup a little heavier than I’ve seen at work.
“It’s a boozy, book club brunch not a fundraiser; it’s supposed to be fun.”
She sighs. “I know. But it’s hard when you realize the people you’ve interacted with for years —people you considered friends—have chosen your lying, cheating husband in the divorce over you.” Her head turns slowly to look at me. “Do you know how much smiling I had to do?”
I snort because yes I do. “As a matter of fact…” Lana chuckles. “Were you in Nashville before this?”
“Yeah, my ex-husband is a lawyer.”
“Cheat on you with his secretary?”
“No, cheated on me with our dog groomer.” She pauses dramatically. “Cheated on her with his secretary who he married two months after our divorce was finalized.”
“What a bastard.”
“I know. I was so pissed he almost lost me Amara.” When I stare at her, she laughs. “The dog groomer. I mean, I lost her for a little while, but we bonded over our mutual hate for Jacob and we actually still talk.”
“Did she know your ex was married?”
“He told her we were separated. She found out later that we weren’t separated when she started seeing him.”
“Are y’all gonna stand out there all day or what?” Ellison says with a grin and a flourish as she holds the front door open. “Cal is half in the bag and singing show tunes.”
“Oh my God, I am not,” he yells from inside, causing us all to laugh as we move up the porch steps.
Bea takes my blueberry French toast bake as I take my jacket off and hang it on the back of the kitchen chair. The house is homey if still a bit old-fashioned.
Having met Grandad, it makes sense, and I love that Ellison and Montana have chosen to do it this way—make their life here with someone so important to them. He’s not a burden.
He’s everything.
The thought has me smiling as three dogs come racing around the corner. The black lab with three legs takes the corner hard but barely skids on the floor, his tongue hanging out as he crashes into a spotted dog with ice-blue eyes, and a puppy follows them, its little legs trying desperately to keep up.
“The three-legged goofball is Hermie, the spotted beauty is Queenie, and the puppy is Roo,” Ellison says with a grin. “It’s too bad you missed the adoptathon; you could have totally convinced Jensen to get another dog.”
My smile falters and Ellison’s eyes narrow.
“We left with Carl and Lady,” Bea says proudly. “It was so sweet of Bodhi to think of us! They’re goldendoodles and just the sweetest pair.”
“You know Bodhi did it to get back at Archer, right?” Ellison asks pointedly.
“For sure. I just can’t wait to see Bodhi find some happiness. So far, no matter how much sunshine I try to shower on him, he still has the same stoic expression.” Bea sighs. “So I will take every olive branch he gives me.” She points at Ellison. “Don’t repeat that.”
“Why? It might take the heat off me when Montana finds out that we have two miniature cows coming.”
Cal snickers. “That man is a saint.” He turns his attention to Lana. “Welcome to the chaos. I’m Cal and that’s Bea and Ellison.”
“Thanks for having me,” she says softly. “I made a sausage and egg casserole. My kids go crazy for it, so I figured it was a safe choice.”
“Excellent.” Ellison grins, taking the dish and placing it on the counter. “We have three juices for mimosas, all the fixings for Bloody Marys, and a coffee bar because Cal is bougie like that.”
“Anyway,” Cal says, rolling his eyes, “Lana, are you dating anyone?”
“Way to just jump right in there.” Bea snickers.
“What? She’s perfect for it.”
“Standing right here,” Lana says with a little wave. Ellison snickers as she presses a champagne flute filled with bubbly pink liquid into her hand. “Thanks.”
“My sister, Hannah, is booking those stranger photo sessions for the spring.” When Lana just blinks at him, he adds, “She owns Wandering Pages, the bookstore in Clementine Creek, but she does photography and she’s been obsessed with the idea.”
“Umm…” Lana hums as she looks at each of us and takes a swig of her drink.
“These two are taken,” he says, pointing to Ellison and Bea. “She won’t be here and even if she were, the sheriff would probably have somethin’ to say about that,” he says, pointing to me. “So if you’re single, she’ll match us with some eligible men.”
“The idea of dealing with a man right now seems like a nightmare,” Lana says, finishing her drink and handing it to Ellison who immediately refills it.
“Which is honestly why this is perfect,” Bea agrees. “I’ve seen those photo shoots and they’re flipping adorable—worst-case scenario is you have awkward first-date vibes and never talk to him again.”
“I’ll make sure my sister pairs you with someone hot,” Cal pleads.
“Fine,” she relents and much quicker than I anticipated. “But someone is going to have to dress me for this thing—I stopped trying to be sexy a long time ago.” Covering her face with her hands, she mumbles, “Sorry—that was an overshare.”
I’m not sure who moves first, but I watch as Bea, Ellison, and Cal all wrap Lana in a hug. “We’re totally keeping you,” Cal murmurs before waving at me. “Get in here—you’re not exempt just because you’re leaving us.”
Sighing, I let them engulf me in their arms, my head resting on Lana’s shoulder. “I got a call from my agent about my contract renewal. It’s everything I wanted—more than I asked for—but…”
“But you’re doubting every decision and you hate that you should be happy but you’re not,” Ellison supplies, and I nod because that’s exactly it.
“I think I can speak for everyone here when I say it’s all right if your dreams change,” Bea says quietly. Her tone is so different from her normal bubbly exuberance. Whispered agreement circles around us, and I have to blink back tears.
I’m not sure I’m ready for my dreams to change—for the game I’ve lived and breathed my entire life to be put on a shelf in exchange for something I’d never considered until coming here.
Clearing my throat, I step back and round the counter to make myself a Bloody Mary. “All right, let’s talk about car chases and attempted kidnapping and sex in boat houses while on the run.”
“It’s definitely my favorite Sloane Daniels book,” Bea says, clutching her chest. “I listened to the audio but then went straight to Wandering Pages to get the signed copy because…shelf trophy.”
“I’d never read her but now I’m already halfway through listening to her backlist and I’m obsessed. My son now stands outside the kitchen and asks if it’s safe to come in.” Lana grins. “He had the misfortune of catching an earful of Gabe and Eden’s romp in the shower.”
“I’m still Team Darian,” Ellison says in reference to the hero of Sloane’s prior release. “It’s a hill I’m ready to die on—that man is sex on a stick.”
“I’m telling Montana,” Cal teases but Ellison shrugs.
“He’ll agree. We listened to that one not long ago and now he’s addicted to audiobooks.”
“Archer would probably have a heart attack if he had any idea what I read.”
“You don’t tell him?” I ask skeptically.
“I love that man more than anything, but he would probably have a heart attack or die from embarrassment,” she says before her grin turns wolfish. “Doesn’t mean we don’t try out a few things every now and then.”
Ellison high-fives her and Lana sighs.
“I miss sex. I can’t even remember how long it’s been.”
“Oh see? You and Cal have lots to talk about,” Ellison quips and he elbows her.
“By. Choice,” he hisses, and Lana holds out her hand for a fist bump.
“Men are so much work. My son is twelve and my daughter is eight, and they’re enough to keep me busy between school and sports. But honestly, I’m too jaded and I don’t have the energy to be fun and sexy only to wind up with someone else who doesn’t appreciate me.” Lana winces. “Don’t kick me out—apparently now that I’m divorced, I have no filter.” She stares at her glass. “Such a mystery why I haven’t made any friends.”
Bea cackles. “We’re totally keeping you.”
My heart squeezes in my chest as I watch them. This is what I wanted—to give Lana a place to land. She’s a good fit, and I’m happy to have facilitated this today.
You could have this too.
Pushing down the little voice in the back of my mind, I grab a plate and hope this isn’t the last time I’m here with them.