Chapter 5 #2
I take him in, noticing that even with the injuries on his face he looks beautiful. He reminds me of some pictures I’ve seen of fallen angels.
I stop his body from slamming to the ground, and instead I lay him down gently on it.
I wish I had my jacket now to place it under his head.
I use my phone to shine some light on him.
His breathing is shallow, and his lips are red and broken, and tears keep falling from his eyes.
The ugly monster living inside me takes over once again and I turn back to the other man.
I want to do my worst, but he’s not where I left him.
I ponder whether I should run after him, beat him up a little more, maybe a lot more, until he’s begging for me to stop.
And then maybe call the police. I stand up, ready to go after the bastard and make him pay.
My hands flex at the idea of punching him a couple more times, but a whimper from the body on the ground gets my attention.
My boy looks beaten up and fragile. My boy?!
It’s way too early to be this possessive.
He looks like someone who needs to be taken care of. And it’s a shame I’m the one helping him, because I’m not someone who takes care of others.
His eyes are closed and his breath is coming out in short pants, as if he’s finding it hard to get air into his lungs. Part of his face is turning dark from the bruises, and blood streams down the side of his face like a sad tear.
I breathe like a bull ready to charge his opponent. I want to leave his tormentor on the ground and with the same amount of injuries on his body. Maybe a few more, so he won’t do this again.
His eyes blink open, just to close again.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
His mouth opens and closes a few times but no words come out, so I place my hand on his and gently caress his skin.
“Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.” What the fuck am I saying? “Let me call an ambulance.” They’ll take care of him.
His face goes even paler, tears stream down his cheeks even more, and he tries to push me away, but there’s no strength behind it.
“What the fuck did you do to Jay?” The scream coming from behind me makes me jump, and turn around. I move my body back just in time to avoid a punch in the face.
“Hey,” I say while standing up. This guy is even smaller than my boy… My boy? I shake my head; it’s getting worse. He’s smaller than Jay, and a tad more feisty. “I didn’t do anything to him. Someone was hurting him and I jumped in.”
But he’s not listening, and he keeps shouting at me, but at least he’s stopped trying to punch me. He pushes me to one side so he can check on Jay.
I unlock my phone and dial the emergency number, but before the call engages my phone is snatched away from my hand. I stand up, ready to fight with the smaller man to have it back, but his next words stop me.
“You can’t call the ambulance. They’re going to call the police and we can’t have that.”
“Why not. He was assaulted.”
“Jay is going to end up in prison for solicitation.”
I look at the other man while my brain tries to come to terms with what he’s saying. Solicitation? Prostitution? I’m stricken. This beautiful boy lying on the ground is a prostitute. I can’t wrap my head around it.
“What?” The word is out before my brain can process how judgy it’ll sound.
He doesn’t reply and launches the phone back at me. How can he be so sure I won’t call someone anyway?
He crouches down and whispers something I can’t hear. Jay, though, is still out and doesn’t seem to be ready to come back to reality. He grips Jay’s hand in his, and then after wiping his eyes, he’s back on his feet and facing me.
“I’m Jeremy,” he says, but doesn’t make an effort to shake hands, instead he pushes them inside his pocket. “I can’t leave, so I’ll have to trust you to take care of Jay. Please, don’t call an ambulance or the police.” The words are more a request than a plea, until I look up at his face.
He grabs a phone from his pocket, so old I’m not sure you could even go online, and then he hands it to me.
I take it when it’s offered, and then look at it, not really understanding what he wants.
“Write your phone number, and I’ll call you as soon as I’m done here.”
I look at him without moving. My brain is trying hard to catch up, and I blame the alcohol, even if my second drink is still sitting on the table untouched. “How can you trust me? I could be someone who’ll hurt him.”
“I don’t trust.” He presses something on his phone and then mine rings. It stops, then he does something again and mine rings a few times more. “But with the job we do, we understand people, and I’m sure you do anything bad to Jay.”
“How do you know?”
“Because you went to the effort of saving him.” He moves a few steps away, and then turns back to me.
“If I had a place where I could keep him safe, I wouldn’t be leaving him with you.
” He turns around and walks away, but not before retracing his steps, crouching down and kissing Jay on his forehead.
“Hey, I can’t do this,” I say while trying to stop him from leaving, but he avoids my touch and with a glance back at his friend, he moves away. But I block his path.
“Hey, you can leave him here.”
“If someone…” But his voice trails off.
It hits me then that they’re working.
“I need a minute to pick up my jacket. Stay here, I’ll be back soon.
” I don’t wait for him to reply, I just turn around and march to the door.
A couple of minutes later, I’m back. Jay is still on the ground and Jeremy is sitting next to him.
As soon as he hears me, he passes his arm over his face, but not before I spot the tears.
I pretend not to see, and instead I focus on taking care of my boy.
Okaaay, my boy it is, then.
I need to stop with this nonsense. He’s not my boy, he’s nothing to me, but then why can’t I stop my eyes from checking if he’s okay, while hoping for him to open his and smile like he did before?
“Take this,” I say to Jeremy and hand him the car key.
“What?”
“I can’t do everything on my own. I need you to open the back door, so Jay can lie there. It’s over there,” I say, gesturing in the general direction of my car.
He nods and then sprints off.
A light rain starts falling down, as if we need more problems.
I turn my attention to Jay, still lying there on the cold ground, and that pushes me to act. I can’t leave him here. But I still can’t believe he’s coming home with me.
I kneel in front of him. I lay my jacket over him and then push one arm under his head and the other under his knees, making sure I don’t cause any more pain. He’s as light as a feather. He’s thin and small, and his frame under my big hands is bony and fragile.
Why is he working on the street? What happened to him?
By the time he’s secured in my arms, the light rain is a thousand times worse. Brackets of water are falling down from the sky. I use the wall to keep Jay up and then one of my hands to pull the jacket over his head, while I pull him more firmly against my chest.
Keeping my head down I jog to the car, making sure not to juggle Jay too much. He whimpers and I pull him closer, whispering in his ear, “You’re fine. You’re safe.” I repeat it over and over again until he snuggles inside my arms, pressing his face against my chest.
I don’t feel the rain soaking my hair, or infiltrating between my skin and my shirt, running down my back and pooling at my waist. My focus is on the man in my arms, and on the feelings storming inside me.
Letting go? Seems impossible right now.
Jeremy is waiting by the car, the umbrella that I always keep in the pocket of the door now open and covering his small frame.
I carefully place Jay on the back seat, then I cover him with a blanket I always keep there for emergencies. Not the kind of emergency I was expecting when I put it there, though.
Even with all the movement he doesn’t stir, not even when I move his hair gently away from his face then lean in to check if he’s still breathing. I relax when he is.
Jeremy stays there, covering us until Jay is comfortable inside the dry car.
“Come with us?”
His eyes go big, as if my request surprises him, but he’s shaking his head even before my voice dies out. “I can’t.” He bites his lips, but doesn’t say more. He pushes the umbrella towards me, but instead I close the door.
“Keep it. It doesn’t look like it’ll stop soon”
He nods, and then glances at the car. He turns his eyes on me, the look in them hard and afraid at the same time.
“I’ll be in touch.” And with that he walks away. I watch him as opens the bar’s door and without a glance back he steps in.
I call him again, his step faltering and back going rigid for a second, and that tells me he heard me. But again, he ignores me.
“I’ll take care of him,” I say before the door closes on his back, and I hope he hears me over the loud sounds coming from inside the bar. A nod, and then he’s out of sight.
Once I’m sure Jay’s comfortable I get in the front seat. I glance at the clock to realise one hour has already passed since I left the bar for that call. I turn the car on, and I glance into the back to make sure Jay’s still there.
On the way home only one question fills my mind.
What am I going to do with him?