10. Jude
What good is being a Voice for the Council if I’m too powerless to help one of the people I claim to love?
Rather than waiting for news at home, I should be at the hospital, there for the moment Nario is out of his surgery.
Not only that, Nicolo should be there for him.
As hard as staying back is for me and Antonio, I can’t even fathom what my beautiful Star is feeling without the other part of him.
They may be two different people, but it’s always been clear they’re a package deal.
One twin without the other…it’s something I don’t believe either of them could survive.
And my poor Bel Fiore… He’s lost so much already, been through so much insurmountable pain. This is another chip in his already damaged armor, and there’s nothing I can do except be the pillar they both need.
But how can I when it’s not just them I need to be there for?
Fuck. When did everything get so complicated?
I went from a shitty family and no meaningful connections to finding where I belong and the hearts and dark souls that meet mine, all within the last two years. Of course, that all means that when shit hits the fan, it does so in a domino effect.
“Daddy?” I glance up to find Antonio standing in the doorway to my office, looking at me worriedly.
I open my arms. “Come here, Bello.”
He doesn’t hesitate to cross the room and climb into my lap, his weight a comfort to the confusing tangle of emotions running through me. “Have you heard anything about Cristian?” he asks.
I shake my head. “Not yet. With Doc, no news is good news, as he doesn’t update until he’s finished, or they're…dead.” The implication that Cristian could be the first patient that Doc has ever lost during surgery… Fuck, I wouldn’t want to cross paths with the doctor after that.
“What about Marcus? There hasn’t been a single update?”
I grimace. “No. And since they do update their medical notes while in the operating room, I’m hoping whatever they’ve passed along has been favorable, and we can bring our Boy home in a few days.” Grabbing his hair, I lift his face to mine. “Speaking of, where’s Nicolo?”
Antonio’s eyes widen, going for an innocent look. “He’s…where you told us to be. Resting in the family room while we wait for news.”
“Antonio…” I’m careful to modulate my voice, making him squirm as I pull harder at his hair and stare at him.
“I know, Daddy, but he’ll be careful! One of us has to be there for Nario if we all can’t be. It makes the most sense, as he’ll be the first one allowed in to see him anyway, so I didn’t see the harm—”
I place a finger over his mouth, stopping him. “Be very careful with your words, Bello. You’re already going to be in trouble, so unless you want to be in timeout for a very, very long time, you will stop while you’re ahead.”
He gulps, his eyes going round with the way he stares at me in a patented “Oh shit, I fucked up” way.
I nudge him off my lap, and he goes without a word, knowing better than to incriminate himself further. “Let’s go find your partner in crime.”
Reaching for his hand, I thread our fingers together and drag him along behind me.
We make it to the foyer just as the front door opens, and Dmitri marches Nicolo into the house.
The bodyguard is smaller than my Boy, but that doesn’t mean shit.
Dima has Ten’s stamp of approval to be one of my main guards because he’s proven to be very good at his job—the fact he’s fluent in ASL is simply a bonus.
“Found this one trying to escape,” Dima signs after pushing Nicolo forward.
“Thank you.” I stare at my Star, eyebrow quirked.
Nicolo lifts his chin in defiance. “We can’t all be at the hospital, fine, but I can slip in and out without being noticed! I need to be by his side. I’ll be safe!”
Letting go of Antonio, I reach for Nicolo, gripping his chin to the point of bruising.
“You’re very good at your job, Stella. I don’t begrudge that.
But I am not risking your safety. Not with the Senator out there.
By now, there’s probably a fucking hit on all our heads, and that is not a risk I’m willing to take. ”
Tears fill his hazel eyes. “Do you even care? I know you don’t…feel things like the rest of us, but do you even fucking care that he might die?”
“Nicolo…” Antonio says as a warning, but I look at my Boy and shake my head minutely.
Turning back to Nicolo, I move my hand to his hair and tangle my fingers in the strands, pulling his head back.
“I love you, Stella,” I say, wondering if my voice sounds as shaky as I feel.
“I love Antonio, and I love Nario. My Bel Fiore and my Shining Stars. Each one of you is unique, but parts of a whole. And you fit me. Mi dai più di quanto pensassi di poter mai avere.” I’m sure I fuck up some of the pronunciation, as it’s been a while since I’ve really worked on my Italian, but the point should still get across.
“I’m not risking any of you. Am I pissed we’re being held back? Yes, of course. I want nothing more than to be the first thing our Angelo sees when he opens his eyes, but we need to be smart about this. Running off on your own? That will never, ever be okay with me.
“Both you and Antonio are in deep shit for thinking you can pull one over on me. I’ll admit, between Roman and Nario, and my work as a Voice, things have been insane all night, but I will always pay attention to you, Stella.”
His lips part, and though there are still tears in his eyes, I can see the sheen of submission, and the redness that spreads across his cheeks lets me know I hit my mark. “I’m sorry, Sir. I…I just needed to see him. I…I can’t lose him.”
He loses the battle with his tears and they flow freely down his cheeks.
“I know, I know…but you’re not alone.” I look to Antonio as I say, “None of you are alone. I’m here. We’ll get through this together.”
Releasing his hair, I pull Nicolo into a tight hug. He collapses against my chest, sobbing into my shirt. “Shhh, Stella. It’s okay. I got you.” I press a kiss to the top of his head. “Daddy’s here.”
Holding my arm out for Antonio, I hold both my Boys close.
I hate that there’s a missing piece of us, but I have to believe Nario will be okay.
He and Cristian both. Our family is fractured enough.
I don’t believe Nicolo, Antonio, Roman, or Tennant will ever be the same should we lose the two of them.
Fucking Senator. He’s going to pay for this. Every single ounce of pain and fear my loves are feeling right now? I’m going to deliver it tenfold back to him. He’ll learn you don’t fuck with us.
My phone going off several times in a row interrupts our moment, and I curse, letting my Boys go so I can pull it out of my pocket. The texts on screen have me considering pitching the device against the wall, because what could possibly be happening now?
“We need to go. Carter called an emergency meeting. You two are coming with me.” I meet both their gazes.
“From now until I feel I can trust you again, you will be within my line of sight, or with one of the guards I assign you. Do you understand me? Do not fucking test me on this, or you will regret all your life choices.”
“Yes, Sir,” they both intone.
Grabbing their hands, I tow them behind me so we can dive into the next part of this fucking shitshow. Fuck, I deserve a vacation after this. A long one. One where I can sequester all my lovers away.