Chapter 48
Chapter
The sessions are over for the day, and the union is unofficially holding a karaoke night in a third-floor conference room. Diane from Complaint Resolution conveniently happens to run the party planning committee, and she organized the whole thing.
And by the time I show up, the conference room is bumping. Karaoke seems to have ended, but someone has plugged their phone into the sound system, and now it’s transformed into a weird office version of a high school dance. Someone got hold of a disco ball, and its lights spin around the dim room.
Carol from Legal is cutting the rug with Bob from the Houston office—I know from the group chat that she’s been talking to him all day about unionizing there next.
And damn, she has moves! I wouldn’t have guessed.
Sarah is leaning back against Grace, nestled into her arms, and they’re swaying gently from side to side.
Al is standing in the back, earnestly trying to carry on a conversation with a few people from the Supplier Relations team—but based on their body language, it seems they can’t hear him over the music.
“Hey!” Greg comes up alongside me and clinks his beer bottle against mine. “Shouldn’t we be celebrating?”
I swallow hard, and his eyes flit nervously around my face. He leans in so he can talk into my ear. “Congratulations on your recent breakup?”
“Can we, um—” I shout over the music, gesturing for the door. “Can we go outside and talk?”
“Oh! Of course. Sure.” So I follow him out of the conference room and down the walkway to an outdoor patio.
It’s pleasantly warm outside, early summer evening coming on, the scent of jasmine in the air. The silence hangs tense between us as cars whoosh past on the freeway in the distance, streams of red and white lights coursing in opposite directions.
Greg leans on the railing, shifting a few times like he can’t get comfortable. “You’re not breaking up with him,” he says finally. A disappointed observation, not a question exactly.
It’s like the bottom of my stomach has dropped out, but I still feel such an intense drive to finish what I started. Maybe if I can find the right words—maybe he’ll understand—
“I want you to know that I did everything I could here,” I start, grip tightening on the railing. “I still need part of his password. He asked me to go to Vegas with him this weekend.”
Greg blinks a few times. He looks at me like I’m getting smaller and smaller, vanishing in the distance, even though I’m still right here.
“How much more are you going to extend this?” he says quietly, like he’s already bracing himself, becoming resigned.
Coming up with a strategy to protect himself in advance, maybe, before he can lose something again.
“Do you even want to break up with him?”
“Greg—” I reach for him, but he takes a step away and gives me a long, searching look, like he doesn’t recognize me anymore.
He scoffs and shakes his head. “Ruby, I love you, but I can’t hold that thought forever.”
“You think I’m doing this for fun?” I yell. I’m so frustrated, I can’t explain fast enough—all the words are wrong, and Greg looks so hurt, and everything is going sideways.
“I mean—I can’t—” Tears are trembling in the corners of my eyes, and I take a sharp breath in, trying to hold them back. “I don’t know what to do for Mom anymore. I couldn’t follow through there. And I don’t want—I just—I can’t stand to fail at this too!”
Greg pulls me into a hug, and some of those tears break free.
“Hey, shh, shh. You’re okay. It’s okay.” His lemon smell wraps me up, and one hand runs up and down my back.
“I know I can’t fully understand what you’re going through,” he says, voice raspy.
“But you don’t have to do this. You don’t have to do anything else. ”
“It’s not okay!” I pull back, wiping my cheeks roughly with my palm. “I can’t just—just squander this chance! I’m doing this for you too!”
He laughs desperately, no joy in it. “I don’t want you to do this! You don’t have to get his password. We’ll figure something else out.”
“Do you have a better idea?”
“Ruby—” He runs an agitated hand through his hair. “Let’s back up, go back to your mom for a second. What if you tried being honest with her? Really honest. Put all your cards on the table. Say you can’t figure out what her unfinished business is and explain everything you’ve done so far.”
“And how will that help? What if that makes her feel even worse, on top of everything she’s been through?”
Greg puts his hands on my arms. “Maybe compared to everything she’s been through, whatever you say can’t be that bad.”
He’s not making sense. I jerk out of his grasp, even though the look on his face is making my heart break.
“Don’t go,” he says. “Please.”
“It’s just one more weekend.”
Greg stares at me for a long moment, until something in his head seems to click into place and he looks away. “Call me when you’re ready to talk, then,” he says and walks back inside, leaving me on the balcony by myself.