Chapter 5
Brooke
Why did I just say that?
Why am I still even standing here? I’ve successfully managed to avoid this man the entire two weeks I’ve been back in Willow Bend. Not that it was super difficult considering how much he works. But the last thing I should be doing right now is having a conversation with Tobias Bradshaw.
No.
The actual last thing I should be doing is watching—without blinking—as he rolls up the cuff of one sleeve on his flannel shirt, revealing a forearm that looks completely different than I remember it.
The forearm in my memory wasn’t necessarily skinny, but it was nothing like the muscular, corded, tanned appendage I’m currently staring at so hard my eyes are starting to burn.
Clearing my throat, I force my gaze somewhere more appropriate for a woman who ran away from the altar less than a month ago. Focusing on the puppy in my arms instead of the well-defined arms he was just in, I manage a genuine smile for the first time since…
I can’t even remember when.
“He’s really cute.” And genuinely is already helping me feel a little better. A little lighter. Like a wiggly-tailed light at the end of a very dark tunnel.
But this isn’t my house, and I’m pretty sure it’s against guest code to bring a dog into someone else’s home.
At the very least it’s not a great idea.
Especially for someone who has nowhere else to go.
It’s possible—though probably not likely—Deidre could get home from her trip to New York and tell me to get out.
If that does happen, I’m screwed, because already I can’t stand the thought of giving the little guy up. He’s such an adorable little nugget. Just looking at him brings me the first happiness I’ve felt in a long time and I don’t have many bright spots in my life right now.
I also don’t have enough money to get a place of my own, and there’s no way I can go to my parents’ house.
I’m sure they tried to call me a million times before concluding I no longer have my phone.
Hopefully they don’t figure out where I’m staying, or there’s a good chance they’ll show up, thinking they can convince me to go back to Matt.
And that’s never going to happen.
Never.
Unfortunately, outside of knowing I’m not going back to Matt or California, nothing in my life is certain in any capacity. I guess except that I now have a puppy, thanks to the man I should be sending away. Should have sent away the minute he walked in.
But I don’t. I ask him a question instead. "How is Copper?"
Tobias’s lips quirk into a smile. "A menace. Still terrorizing anything that holds still, proving she's top dog."
"Good for her."
I should've been more of a menace. For most of my life I thought I was. At least in some sense. But it turns out I'm not at all who I believed I was.
Tobias tips his head toward the box sitting on the table. "What are you wrapping?"
My eyes go to the item I purchased using a little bit of the money Curtis and Lily paid me for my dress and engagement ring.
"It's a set of candles for your parents.
As a thank you for letting me stay here.
" It's not much, but since I don't know when my next paycheck is coming, I had to be a little careful.
Which is why I was attempting to sneak a little bit of tape and wrapping paper from Deidre's room, thinking no one would notice. One more failing to add to the list I’ve acquired.
Tobias studies me, and I fight the urge to squirm under his stare as I wait for the questions I know are coming. "I'm sure they'll appreciate it."
The fear that had been brewing in my belly over having to explain what happened dissipates just a little when he doesn’t ask why I felt the need to buy his parents a gift. "I hope so."
Tobias watches me for a second longer before jerking his chin the direction he came. "I should go. Make sure Copper hasn't innocenced any more of my throw pillows."
I nod, clutching the puppy in my arms a little tighter. "Thank you for taking her when I had to move." I lift the puppy. "And for this guy, I guess."
Tobias tucks his chin in a single nod. "You’ll have to let me know what you name him."
I start to tell him I will, but Tobias is already gone, his steps nearly silent as he leaves the house.
It’s a good thing. At least one of us was able to end the conversation. The less we interact, the better. Even if I thought there was a chance for us to reconnect, I have no business considering another relationship. I don't trust myself. Not now that I know what I'm capable of.
The puppy in my arms chooses this moment to lick at my chin, his tiny little tongue pulling me from the spiral I've fallen into countless times since my arrival. Tipping my head down, I can't help but smile as his big brown eyes meet mine. "I guess at least you trust me, huh?"
I may not be good at picking men—or making decisions involving those picked men—but I do know how to keep a dog alive.
To prove it, I carry the little ball of fur to the room where I’ve been staying, putting on my newly acquired hot pink shoes before heading to the garage housing the car I’m renting until I have enough money to buy one.
Deidre offered to let me drive one of hers, but she’s already doing so much for me, and I don’t ever want to take advantage of her kindness.
Getting behind the wheel, I keep my new friend in my lap as I drive into town. Willow Bend is small, but it does have the basics, including a feed store. It's not quite as bougie as the pet stores around where I used to live in California, but it should have everything we need.
Carrying the puppy, I take him inside and start selecting items. I try to keep it to a minimum, but by the time I check out, he has more toys than he probably needs, a few different varieties of treats, a collar, leash, and a bag of food.
Plus some puppy pads, because I really don't want to mess up Deidre’s house.
Especially not after she's been so kind to me.
Proving I do still have at least one person left on my side.
Driving back to the Bradshaw estate, I find myself once again fighting the thoughts trying to drag me down. The pit of self-doubt and deprecation I've been living in for way too long. And like before, the puppy Tobias gave me effectively stops the descent.
This time by peeing on my lap.
The warmth spreads across my thighs, traveling down the crease between my legs as I clench them together, hoping to keep the seat from the line of fire. There's nothing else I can do about it, so I just start to laugh.
And once I’ve started, I can't stop.
By the time I'm pulling back into the garage, I’m cackling like a maniac. Tears run down my face, and my stomach hurts from the constant clenching. But I’d rather my stomach hurt from that than from everything else, so I'm not going to complain.
As soon as I'm parked, I climb out, setting the puppy on the ground before checking out the mess he's made.
Thankfully, he was situated closer to my knees, so it's just my pants that are soaked in cute little puppy pee.
Deciding I'd rather walk around half naked than wearing pee pants, I kick off my shoes and wiggle out of my joggers.
After walking him to a small patch of grass right outside the door—making sure his tank is empty so I’m the only victim of his tiny bladder—I collect my soiled clothes, my sneakers, and as many items as I can carry in one load, before heading inside.
Walking in through the garage door, I stop short when I discover the house isn’t empty.
But it’s not Deidre and Ted returning from her cookbook launch.
Titus is once again rifling through the fridge. He straightens from where he was crouched to retrieve a bag of carrots from the crisper drawer, eyes dropping to my bare legs, brows pinching together. “Where are your pants?”
For some reason his question sends me into a fit of semi-hysterical laughter again.
The ridiculousness of it—of everything. The complete and total change my life has taken over the past two weeks.
“The puppy peed on me.” I snort a little as I tip toward the edge of unhinged.
“I forgot to make him go before we left the feed store.” Using the bag of food to block as much of my cheap granny panties as possible, I edge my way toward the back staircase. “I’ll be right back.”
Without waiting for Titus to respond, I turn and rush up to the second floor of the mansion his parents own.
The place is huge, so I’m out of breath by the time I reach my room.
I don’t have many clothes—for the same reason I didn’t splurge on a gift for Deidre and Ted—so my only option is to pull on the pair of cheap sweats I bought to sleep in.
Quickly tossing the soiled pants into the washer in the second-floor laundry room, I hurry back downstairs.
Titus has a pile of items stacked on the counter at this point, and is in the process of adding them to a bag.
“My fiancée wants to make dog treats,” he explains, “but apparently we didn’t have enough carrots or sweet potatoes.
” His eyes move to the puppy gnawing on a teal and purple octopus.
“I’m guessing she’ll want to send some your way when she finds out you have a new little friend. ”
“That’s really nice of her.” I haven’t had the opportunity to meet Titus’s fiancée—Mariah, I think Tobias said—yet. I’ve spent the time since I arrived laying low, trying to figure out just how big of a mess I’ve made for myself.
“You should come over for dinner tonight. I think the two of you would get along.” He collects the bag of vegetables. “Plus, it will give us the chance to finalize your employment package and set a start date.”
I’m so appreciative that Titus is willing to hire me, but the thought of working at MSS also makes me nervous. “That sounds great.”
Sort of.
Having a job—great.
Seeing Tobias every day—not so great. Especially now that I know I’m just as stupid about him as I was ten years ago.
“Perfect. We usually eat around six.” He crouches to give the puppy a pat. “And bring this guy so he can play with his sister.”
“Your house is amazing.” I take in the soaring ceilings of Titus and Mariah’s home as I step into the foyer.
The way the lanes weave between hills and trees, it’s nearly impossible to get much more than a glimpse at any of the boys’ places as you come in, so the only home I’ve really gotten a good look at on the property is Deidre’s.
And while this house isn’t quite as large, it’s just as impressive.
Mariah snorts. “You wouldn’t have been saying that if you saw what it looked like when I first got here.
” She points at a spot just beside where I stand.
“Right there was what I now refer to as Mount Muddy Shoe.” She gestures toward the immaculately decorated office to my left. “And that was Cardboard Cavern.”
I know what Titus has been through, and it would make sense that his house probably didn’t rank super high on his list of concerns.
He’d already lost his fiancée and their baby by the time Tobias and I got together.
Back then Titus was like a ghost. Someone I heard about but rarely saw.
It just makes me extra glad he’s found Mariah, because the difference between the man I knew before and the one walking down the hall carrying a puppy and wearing a bright smile is unreal.
“Are you telling Brooke all my secrets before she’s signed on?” He hooks an arm around Mariah, pulling her close. “Because I really need her to join my team, so maybe you should talk me up a little bit.”
Mariah looks up at him with so much love it stops me in my tracks. The way he holds her so carefully and the adoration on Titus’s face jabs at a sore spot deep inside of me. A place that’s made of shame and regret.
And longing.
He gives her a kiss on the forehead, passing off their puppy, before gesturing toward the back of the house.
“Come on in and have a seat.” Titus leads Mariah deeper into the home, and I trail behind them, taking in the luxurious space.
There’s a dining room with a table large enough it could seat the entire Bradshaw family—which is saying something—and a kitchen with an island so big I could lay on it.
Crosswise.
We reach the great room at the back of the house, and I’m shocked to find a giant section of thick plastic covering the back wall from floor to ceiling.
Titus notices me looking at it, and flashes a grin.
“We’re under construction.” One hand spreads across Mariah’s pregnant belly.
“We wanted to have a little more space for the twins to run around.”
That spot deep inside me goes from being jabbed to sliced wide open. Seeing the way Titus is changing his whole life for Mariah makes me want to crumble.
But like I have so many times, I plaster on a smile and pretend like everything is fine. Like I’m not dying inside. “I’m sure it will be awesome.”
Titus releases Mariah and backs toward the kitchen. “You girls get comfortable. I’ll make you something to drink while dinner finishes up.”
Mariah plops down on the couch, setting Betty at her feet. She pats the spot next to her and I take it. Placing the puppy Tobias gave me beside his sister, I hold my breath as I wait for the questions to start.
But instead of grilling me, Mariah smiles wide. “I am so excited you’re going to be working with Titus.” She shakes her head, smile slipping. “Things are really crazy at that place right now, and he needs all the help he can get.”
“I heard.” I try my best not to be in Deidre and Ted’s way, but they’ve been kind enough to make sure I have dinner with them every night they’re home. One evening about a week and a half ago, she dropped the bomb about the bomb over roast pork and mashed sweet potatoes. “How are you doing?”
Mariah tips her head from one side to the other, considering. “I’m fine, and the babies are fine.” Her eyes drift to where Titus stands in the kitchen, and she lowers her voice. “It’s been hard on him though. Brought back a lot of bad memories.”
One hand automatically lifts to my neck, tugging the collar of my shirt away from my skin. I take a deep breath, filling my lungs to remind myself I can, the act relaxing the bite of panic I fight more often than I’d care to admit.
Mariah’s expression hardens. “Tobias offered to reassemble the guy who initiated the explosion so I could blow him up again.” Her pretty face scrunches up. “But that seemed unnecessarily messy.”
I swallow hard at the mention of Tobias, pinching my lower lip between my teeth. I knew coming back here would be tricky. That every conversation would likely have at least a few Tobias-shaped landmines I’d have to avoid.
And now I’m going to be working at his company every day, so it’s only going to get worse.
But I can do hard things. I can be strong. And I can be brave.
Walking away from a man who said he’d kill me if I ever left is evidence of that.