Chapter 15
Tobias
My phone is going nuts in my pocket. I’ve got a pretty good idea who it is, but my brothers are going to have to wait. I’m busy.
I owe Maren for messaging me to let me know what was going on. If I hadn’t already decided I was going to hire her once our contract with the temp agency is up, this would have solidified her chances of having a permanent position at MSS.
Brooke is doing one hell of a good job hiding how she’s feeling, but I can still see that these guys make her nervous.
I think I know why, but I’m avoiding that conversation.
Part of me hopes that the longer I give myself to prepare, the better I’m going to handle what she says.
But the way I tore through the building to get to her this morning makes me think that’s probably nowhere near close to being true.
It is taking everything I have not to touch her in a way that will leave no doubts about whether or not she is a woman any of these Alaskan Security guys should set their sights on. There’s no telling how I’m going to react when I find out exactly what transpired between her and her ex-fiancé.
And I’m a little worried about my abilities to keep myself in check.
Which seems to be a recurring theme when Brooke is concerned.
“Pierce is…” Seth seems to think about his answer for a minute. “Pierce is Pierce. That’s about the only answer I can give you.”
“Well, he’s a pain in my ass.” I grin, so they know it’s a good-natured jab. “But, if he can help us figure out who’s trying to sabotage our company, I can probably overlook it.”
Seth looks between me and Brooke, who sits stiffly at my side, before returning his attention to my face. “If anyone can figure it out, it’s Pierce. He doesn’t like unsolved puzzles.”
“He might have to get over that, because the guy I sent him is in a few too many pieces to ever be reassembled.”
Movement outside the open door catches my attention as Walker and Trevor come striding down the hall, both wearing shit eating grins.
I know why, and they better get their faces right before they walk in this room.
Because if they make Brooke uncomfortable, they will be the next ones I ship to Pierce in an overnight envelope.
Trevor comes in first, looking mostly back to himself for the first time since the explosion. His suit is perfectly pressed, his nails are impeccably manicured, and not a single dark hair on his head is out of place. The only indication he’s still struggling are the slight bags under his eyes.
I know he feels responsible for what happened because he hired dead Dan, but it could have happened to any of us. Dan was subjected to the same background check every other employee is.
Was.
That process has become a whole lot more involved since the explosion.
“Gentlemen.” Trevor stretches both arms out. “Welcome.” He turns to the woman sitting behind the desk. “I see you’ve met Brooke, our project manager.”
“We have.” Seth meets my eyes before focusing on Brooke, giving her what I’m pretty sure is meant to be a charming smile. “She has been a fantastic host.”
Pierce will kill me if I kick this guy’s ass.
It’s still tempting.
“Well, unfortunately for you, Brooke has a busy day, and now you’re stuck with us.” Trevor motions to the door. “We can start with a tour of the property.”
Tucker wanders up the hall, joining the group as the three men follow Trevor and Walker out. I should probably go with them, but I don’t want to. It’s not like I can bring something to the table my brothers don’t.
So as soon as everyone is out of sight, I stand and close the door, taking a deep breath before I face Brooke. I’m surprised to find she’s already on her feet, wringing both hands in front of her.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do.” She’s talking fast, the words rushing out of her mouth. “The guards at the front desk told them to come talk to me, and I found out you were all in a meeting, and—”
I step close to her, bringing both hands to rest on her shoulders.
“Relax. Everything is okay.” Something sharp stabs through my chest at how quickly she’s breathing.
The fear pinching her expression. “You did perfectly. Probably better than we would have, because I can guarantee not a single one of us would have thought to offer them something to drink.”
That claim seems to shock her out of the panic starting to spiral. “Your mother would kill you.”
“Probably.” My hands move all on their own, going to her hair and pushing it behind her shoulders so it hangs down her back. “So that means your quick thinking saved my life.”
It takes a few seconds, but a smile slowly begins to curve Brooke’s lips. “I feel like you’re being a little melodramatic.”
“I told you I’ve changed.” I need to stop touching her, but I can’t. Instead of leaving her body, my hands slowly pass up and down her arms. “Now I’m all about the drama.” I lean down, breathing in a lungful of her sweet scent. “Why do you think I’m planning to hire Maren for my team?”
I finally accomplish what I’m trying to do, and Brooke’s head tips back a little on a laugh. “What is her position going to be? Resident gossip grabber?”
“I was planning to put her in charge of maintaining our stock, but I think I like your idea better.” I accidentally step closer. “Maybe I should hire you too.”
Brooke rolls her eyes. “Titus would kill you.”
“I doubt it.” I shrug. “I think he’s got his hands full with a very pregnant fiancée and a house renovation.”
And while I don’t know exactly how much of an undertaking renovating a house is, I am somewhat familiar with what’s involved in making dramatic changes to a property. Suffice it to say, I don’t think my oldest brother is going to be lining up to kick my ass anytime soon.
“Mariah was telling me about all the stuff they’re doing to their house.” Brooke seems to relax a little, leaning back against the desk as she continues. “I’m kind of surprised he took on such a big project so close to her due date.”
“There wasn’t really a lot of wiggle room.” Titus and Mariah’s love story is the stuff books and movies are based on. Two people who found each other by complete accident. All the stars lining up just right to put them on the path to each other. “Mariah was already pregnant when they got together.”
Brooke blinks, like it’s taking her a second to process the information I’ve just given her. “I guess that wouldn’t leave much time, would it?”
I shake my head. “No, but I don’t think you’ll hear him complaining about it.” I tip my head, a little confused she doesn’t already know this information. “I’m kind of surprised my mom didn’t tell you.”
Brooke’s expression turns sad. “I think she knew I had a lot going on.” Her eyes fall to the floor between us. “And she and I haven’t talked as much the past year or so.”
It seems like maybe my mom has been holding back a lot of information, because I didn’t know that. “Any particular reason?”
Brooke rubs her lips together before pinching the lower one between her teeth, digging in so deep I’m worried she’ll raise blood before releasing it. “I haven’t made the best choices in life since I moved to California.”
I don’t like how she won’t look at me. The slumped slope of her shoulders. The way her head is hanging. Like she’s embarrassed.
“We all make mistakes.” I reach up, pressing a finger beneath her chin so I can tilt her head back, bringing her eyes to mine. “Ask me how I know.”
She shakes her head. “I can’t.”
Leaning forward, I let my free hand rest against the edge of the desk just beside her hip. “Can’t, or won’t?”
Her eyes dart back and forth between mine. “Both.”
“Fair enough.” I bring my thumb up to drag across the lower lip still pink from the aggressive way her teeth assaulted it. “Can we at least agree we’ve both made mistakes?”
It takes a second, but after a beat, Brooke nods.
I stroke over the soft flesh of her lip, eyes zeroing in on where I’m touching her. “Can we also agree that we would both like to move forward from those mistakes?”
Again, Brooke nods.
“Can I ask you one more question?” I wait, hoping to God I get another nod.
When it comes, I fight to keep from smiling. We’re finally getting somewhere, and I want to capitalize on this momentum. “Were you upset when I kissed you the other day?”
She makes me wait longer for this answer, and every passing second is torture. The longer it goes on, the more I’m sure I went too far.
But then, for the first time, her answer is different.
Slowly, Brooke shakes her head, the long length of her dark hair brushing across her shoulders as her eyes hold mine.
“Follow-up question.” So much for not wanting to push my luck. “Would you be upset if I kissed you now?”
The words are barely out of my mouth before Brooke’s eyes drop to my lips, locking onto them. “I shouldn’t let you kiss me.”
“Why not?” I decide to lighten the moment a little. “Is it because I’m terrible at it?”
“Terrible is a pretty strong word.” Brooke’s eyes light up as she teases me back. “I would say you're easily average.”
“Average, huh?” I chuckle. “That’s probably because I haven’t done it in a while. I’m rusty.”
I’ve been paying such close attention to everything Brooke says, I’ve forgotten I need to be watching my own words. And it’s led me to give something away. Something no one really knows. Not my family. Not my friends.
Definitely not Brooke.
She laughs off my statement. “I don’t believe that for a second.” Her eyes make a show of moving up and down my body. “I’m sure a man who looks like you gets plenty of opportunities to practice.”
“The opportunities weren’t the problem.” Now that I’ve opened this particular can of worms, a big part of me wants to just dump everything out. Lay it all between us and let her decide if it’s too much. Not enough. “It was a question of inclination.”
One of Brooke’s dark brows angles. “You’re saying you weren’t inclined to kiss women who were interested in you?”
“Correct.” I watch her face as she does the math. The mental gymnastics required to put together what it means.
Again, Brooke rubs her lips together, eyes dipping to my mouth before lifting back to meet mine. “How long has it been?”
“Almost ten years.” I answer honestly, hoping to God I haven’t just fucked everything up.
Brooke tucks her chin, brows pinching. “We were together almost ten years ago.”
“We were.” My hand curves around her jaw, fingers sliding along her scalp and into her hair. “That’s how long it’s been.”
“Are you saying…” She doesn’t finish her thought.
So I do. “That you are the last woman I’ve kissed?” I offer her a confirming nod. “I am.”
All the air seems to rush out of her lungs before she pulls in another sharp breath, the full curve of her breasts lifting toward me on the inhale. “That means...”
Again, she can’t seem to get it all out. But I’ve gone too far to turn back now, so I tell her what I hope will show her just how serious I am. “That you’re also the last woman I’ve been inside of.”
A pretty pink flush creeps up her neck and across her cheeks. “That’s impossible.”
“Trust me. It’s possible.” Incredibly frustrating, but possible.
“But—” She sputters a little. “But why?”
I could take all day to answer that question, but I choose to keep it simple. For now. “Because I never met anyone I wanted to kiss as much as I wished I could kiss you.”
“That’s…” She shakes her head, gaze bouncing between my mouth and my eyes. “That’s…” She starts producing sounds of disbelief instead of words. “That’s…” Brooke scoffs then sputters before finally whispering, “Insane.”
I’m not going to argue that. I’ve felt insane more than a few times over the years. Wondered why in the hell I couldn’t just move on. Why I couldn’t let myself even consider another woman when it was clear Brooke was out of reach.
This is why. This moment right here.
Brooke was always meant to be mine. I just had to repent. Suffer. Mature.
Prove I was good enough to have her.
“I can’t believe…”
I’m not sure if the way she can’t seem to finish a thought is a good thing or a bad thing.
“I don’t understand why…”
I look down into the dark depth of her pretty eyes and tell her, “You will.”
I don’t care how long it takes or how hard it is to accomplish, I will make sure Brooke knows I chose her. Even when she wasn’t here. Even when I didn’t think there was a choice to make.
It was her or nothing. Always was.
Always will be.