Girl Gang Group Chat
Maren
Don’t think I didn’t notice you sneaking out of the baby shower yesterday, Brooke.
Mariah
I don’t blame her. That thing was a LOT. I wish I could have snuck out, but it’s hard to be sneaky with this belly.
Maren
But you’re sooooooo freaking cute.
Mariah
Tell that to my swollen ankles.
Maren
Hey, Mariah’s swollen ankles… you’re cute.
Brooke
I’m so sorry. I wasn’t feeling well.
Maren
As in, you needed a dose of vitamin D?
Get it?
Vitamin D?
Vitamin D is dick.
Mariah
We got it.
Maren
I know YOU did. I’m absolutely positive you get dicked down on the regular. I see how Titus looks at you.
Maren
I also see how Tobias looks at you, Brooke. So please tell me you got vitamin D, because I can’t take the longing stares anymore.
Brooke
…
Brooke
…
Brooke
…
Maren
WELL?????
Brooke
Fine.
I got the vitamin D.
Maren
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Did he nut in two seconds? I bet he nutted in two seconds. He’s been dreaming of doing you for YEARS.
Brooke
How do you know the things you know?
Mariah
You can’t hear about your boss’s stamina. It’ll make things weird.
Maren
You’re no fun.
Mariah
I’m forever pregnant. The fun ended a while ago.