9. Valerie
9
VALERIE
I don’t know where I’m running to, only that I need to get as far away as possible. My feet slap against the pavement as I pump my arms and push myself to keep going, keep running, keep moving forward.
I have nowhere to go, but that doesn’t matter. I don’t belong here anymore. I don’t belong anywhere.
My side starts to cramp, but I don’t stop. I can’t. If I slow down, even a little, I’ll be forced to focus on what a complete and utter mess I made of everything. I haven’t run this much in years, and it shows. Everything hurts from head to toe, but the pain is a good distraction.
I turn down one street and then another, dipping into alleys every once in a while just in case someone is following me.
I don’t think my brother is after me. I stayed around long enough to hear the head of the Caparellis shut down the cops and call them on their bullshit. Then I shoved my scant belongings into my backpack and left a note for Enrico. I waited until the last of the police officers fled the scene, sneaking out through the iron gates before turning in the opposite direction and sprinting away as fast as possible.
Stupidly, I look over my shoulder to ensure I’m not being followed. The motion throws me off balance, and I flail my arms to keep from face-planting. I regain my composure only to have my shoe catch on an uneven slab of cement.
I hit the ground with a thud, biting back a yelp when a small pebble lodges itself into the palm of my right hand. Pushing myself up, I wince at my throbbing knees and sore foot. When I look down at my hands, I observe the scrapes and puncture marks from catching the brunt of my weight in the fall.
I take a few shaky steps forward before my knees buckle, and I stumble backward into the side of a building. With a heavy sigh, I lean against the wall and slide down until I’m sitting on the ground. Now that I’m no longer running at full speed, every muscle in my body screams at me in protest. I don’t think I could stand even if I wanted to.
My attention is drawn to the click of high heels striking the pavement. As the steps grow closer, I squeeze myself into a ball to hide from whoever is headed my way.
“You okay, sugar?” a female voice asks from a few feet away.
I lift my head slightly, taking in her skin-tight sequin dress, diamond Dior choker, and Louis Vuitton handbag. She takes a long drag from her cigarette, the smoke curling around her aging face. Her cheaply dyed blonde hair is out of place with her designer accessories. I’ve drawn portraits of many sex workers in this city, each one with a unique story. While I don’t know for certain that’s her line of work, she meets all the hallmarks.
“Do you need help, hon?” the woman asks.
I give her as much of a smile as I can muster up and shake my head. “No, I’m fine,” I tell her. “Really,” I insist when she gives me a skeptical look. “Just regrouping.”
“Regrouping in an alley behind a dumpster?” she questions. The woman steps forward and offers me a cigarette, which I politely decline. “Smart choice. I never shoulda started the nasty habit.” She looks me up and down and nods once. “You’re going to make it,” she declares. “I can tell you’re tough. Whatever you’re regrouping from will pass, and then you’ll tell the whole goddamn world to suck your dick.”
Her statement pulls a laugh from me despite the gnawing sense of dread deep in my chest.
“Proverbially speaking, of course,” she adds with a grin. “Listen, do you need a job?”
I know what she’s offering but no part of me is tempted to accept. There’s no judgment for this woman, and I know many sex workers feel empowered by their profession. Well, the ones who choose it for themselves, that is. It’s just not something I’m capable of. I may be desperate, but I’m not that desperate. Yet.
“No, but thank you. You gave me the pep talk I needed to make it another day,” I tell her truthfully. I’ve never felt particularly tough, but maybe this stranger sees something I don’t.
She gives me one last nod and continues on her way. Just goes to show that no matter how dark the world gets, you can find human kindness in unexpected places.
I drag myself up from my crouching position between the wall and the dumpster, though it takes a monumental effort. Rolling out my shoulders, I take a few tentative steps down the alley, walking gingerly on my sore ankle from my fall. I hobble to a small patch of green grass with a single bench and a water fountain. In this desert climate, and especially in this over-developed city, it qualifies as a park.
I plop down on the bench rather ungracefully and set my backpack next to me. It’s all I have to my name. Nothing more than a few changes of clothes, my sketchbook, and charcoal pencils. Maybe I should find that lady and tell her I’ve reconsidered her job offer.
Even though the sun's unrelenting rays beat down on me, I can’t seem to warm up. A shudder runs through my body, leaving a chill in its wake that I can’t get rid of. Warmth pours down my cheeks, and it takes me a second to realize I’m crying. My breath comes out in short bursts, dragging up more and more anxiety with each stuttering inhale.
I can hardly breathe, and my vision narrows to a pinprick of light. What do I do now? Where do I go? Will Enrico be kicked out of the Caparellis because of me? Oh, God, is he going to be executed for harboring me?
“Valerie, thank god,” a familiar voice rasps behind me.
I must be having audible hallucinations from the stress. There’s no way Enrico is here, and it’s even less likely that he sounds relieved to find me.
I don’t say anything at first, nor do I make a move to get up or turn around.
“Valerie?”
A sob breaks free at my name on his lips. I never thought I’d hear it again.
“No, please don’t cry.” The tall, powerful, strikingly handsome mafioso kneels in front of me, not caring that his Armani suit will get a grass stain. I’m still in shock, even as I blink down at him. This can’t be real.
Enrico’s large hand covers both of mine, which I didn’t notice were squeezed into tight fists on my lap. He lifts his other hand to my face, gently wiping away my tears with the pad of his thumb.“I’m so sorry for what I said, angel. Let me take you home, and we can talk more. I want to know everything. Your whole story. I promise I’ll listen, really listen this time.”
Home? I don’t have a home. Aside from the days I spent with Enrico, I’ve never had a home.
Enrico drops his hand from my cheek and offers it to me. For the first time, I hesitate. His shoulders drop at my reluctance, but he keeps his hand in place. “I promise I’m not angry with you. Confused, yes, but I shouldn’t have snapped. I should have given you space to talk and believed you from the beginning.”
I look from his outstretched hand to his hazel eyes, pleading with me to give him a second chance. I’m not the one who needs convincing, or so I thought.
“When I read your note,” Enrico says softly, withdrawing his hand, “I swear my heart stopped. It felt like my chest was caving in. You’re not a burden, Valerie. You’re my whole goddamn world, and I’m an asshole for not telling you that sooner.”
I gasp at his response, even more surprised to see his eyes glistening with tears. He truly means what he says.
I notice a streak of red on his left bicep, and every other thought is wiped from my mind when I realize it’s blood.
“Oh my god, you’re hurt,” I tell him stupidly as if he doesn’t already know.
“It’s nothing. I had to find you first. To tell you I love you and somehow earn your trust enough to let me take you home.”
“You… love me?” Now I know I’m hallucinating. Surely, he didn’t just say that.
“Yes. Shit, I forgot to start with that. I’m fucking this up,” he mutters to himself. “Valerie,” he says, focusing his mesmerizing eyes on mine. “I didn’t know I was capable of love, let alone the kind of love that runs so deep it hurts being away from you. I love your tender heart despite the world giving you every reason to be bitter and resentful. I admire your strength and the way you were able to leave your abusive situation. You approached me fearlessly, though I know you’ll fight me on that point.”
Despite the rush of conflicting emotions, I grin at his words. He knows me so well already.
“You may have been scared, but you stepped forward anyway. That’s the heart of a warrior, my brave angel.”
“Enrico,” I murmur. I’m about to launch myself into his arms when I remember his wound. “We need to get your arm looked at,” I say in a rush.
“Only if you come with me,” he counters, holding his hand out again.
“Anywhere,” I breathe, finally sliding my hand into his.
Enrico pulls me up from the bench and curls his good arm around my waist, hauling me against his chest. I stumble forward slightly, trying not to hiss in pain when I put weight on my sore ankle.
“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
“I fell earlier, but I’m fine. It’s nothing compared to you.” I narrow my eyes at him. “Seriously, you need to see a doctor.”
Enrico surprises me by grinning. “Yes, ma’am,” he answers with a nod. “I’ll have Doc Bianchi look at your ankle and anything else that hurts.” His features turn serious yet soft. “I’m so sorry for everything you’ve been through. Everything I’ve put you through.”
“I’m the one who should be apologizing. I can’t believe you still…”
“Still, what?”
“Still want me. Even after I lied and put you at risk.”
“Look at me, Valerie.” He cups my cheek, tilting my head so we’re eye to eye. “I’m never letting you go again. We’ve been apart for an hour, and it’s been the most excruciating hour of my life. I love you, angel. Forever and always.”
I nod and then wrap my arms around his torso, burying my face into his chest. He holds me, stroking my back in a calming motion. “I love you, Enrico.”
“Thank you for loving me,” he whispers. “I promise to love and cherish you for the rest of our days.” His words sound almost like wedding vows. “Now, let’s get out of here, okay? I think we’ve earned a rest.”
Like the first day I ran into his arms, Enrico pulls his phone out and calls for a car to pick us up. This time, as he helps me into the backseat of the black sedan, we’re both on the same page. I’m not hiding anything from him, and he’s not skeptical of my motives. We’ve been stripped of the unknown and are free to simply be together.
Enrico presses a kiss to the top of my head as I snuggle up against him. “I can’t believe you’re mine,” he whispers. “I promise to always keep you safe.”
I believe him with my whole heart.