Chapter Two
Yuri spent hours pacing his bedroom floor.
He kept the door open so he could see Brownie’s door.
Yuri didn’t want to miss him. Worry ate him alive.
He was too young to always feel this sick, but life never took it easy on him.
He walked until his paws ached and he passed out in the middle of the floor.
Yuri woke tucked perfectly in his bed and no memory of how he had gotten there, but Brownie’s scent lingered in the room.
He rolled and stared at the wall. The way Brownie had looked at him when Yuri kissed him wouldn’t leave his head.
The poor guy had been horrified, but then he had come back for more.
How far would things have gone if they hadn’t been interrupted?
He had a bad feeling he would never find out.
Yuri swore he felt Brownie missing from him.
He rubbed his chest. Sometimes, when he focused really hard, he swore he felt Brownie in his head.
It was comforting, knowing Brownie could feel what he did.
Brownie was an alpha. Of course he could read Yuri.
Yuri had alpha blood too. Maybe he just needed to hone it a little better.
It was equally possible he needed to stop depending so much on Brownie.
In his heart, he knew they would never happen.
He just wasn’t enough or something. It had been that way his entire life.
He had to get out of here. Being this close to what he could never have all the time was breaking him.
Yuri climbed from the bed and headed for the bathroom.
He went through his entire morning routine while avoiding his reflection.
Apparently, there was nothing to see. A deep self-hatred had settled into his soul.
He had to escape. He dressed in his new outfit, hoping anything at all would help his mental health.
Nothing worked. He headed for the sitting room while praying he didn’t run across anyone along the way.
Riku was on the couch, reading. He barely glanced up as Yuri strolled through the room.
“I’m going to visit Frost.”
Riku flashed him a smile. “Okay. Is Brownie not going with you?”
Yuri ground his back teeth for a second before responding. “Haven’t seen him, but I survived all on my own before I met any of you. I’ll be fine.”
Riku held his stare. His expression stayed blank. “Do you want to talk about it?”
He couldn’t. Everything felt wrong. He had to be free. “No.”
Riku stood. “Come on. I’ll give you a leg up.”
The only way out of Hell—at least for him—was through a mirror above Riku and Lucifer’s bed. It was a bit of a leap for most creatures. Riku, being a godling, had no trouble helping Yuri make the climb.
Yuri poked his head through the mirror first, making sure he didn’t disturb anyone.
The mirror led to a room inside Frost’s house.
Since he was the town of Wulfe’s healer, sometimes he needed to be reached quickly.
The mirror was a huge intrusion into the man’s home.
So they had set up the mirror in a room where no one could walk directly into their home—thanks to binding spells.
However, they could walk out the back door, circle the cabin past a slew of vampire guards, and knock on the front door.
It was the best compromise for everyone.
Frost allowed Yuri to keep a backpack near the back door so he could be ready to change forms easily and keep clothes with him. Yuri snagged it on his way out in case he chose to stay in the woods tonight.
With the sun still shining brightly, the vamps were all at half strength.
That still made them stronger than any wolf.
He nodded at familiar faces as he passed, but he didn’t try to make conversation.
Yuri wasn’t fit for company. He needed to reclaim his independence.
That plan lasted less time than expected.
A red-haired vampire named Fen was headed for a pickup truck as Yuri rounded the cabin. He flashed Yuri a smile. “Are you headed into town?”
Yuri forced his shit mood to the back burner. Fen had been kidnapped by an angry god because of Lucifer and Riku. He had been returned by the king of the Americas shortly after. Despite him seeming no worse for the wear, Yuri still felt oddly guilty for the inconvenience.
“Yeah. I hoped to hit the diner before I make my way up the mountain.”
Fen motioned toward the truck. “Hop in. I’ll give you a lift.”
Since Fen had to travel the human way during the daylight hours, Yuri might as well keep him company. Plus, the quicker he got started up the mountain and away from Brownie, the better. “Thanks. I appreciate it.”
“No problem.”
They didn’t speak again until they were on the road. “I think this is the first time I’ve seen you without Lucifer’s hound in ages.”
Fuck. His chest hurt. “Yeah. I think he’s busy torturing the damned with Lucifer today. Plus, I just need a break from all things Hell related. The fresh air and wilderness are calling to me today.”
Fen nodded but kept his gaze locked on the road. “I can’t even imagine. It must be hard being cooped up all the time. I’ve nae personally been to Hell, but I’ve heard stories. It does nae sound fun.”
Even though Fen wasn’t looking at him, Yuri shrugged.
“Sometimes. I mean, anything I want is mine with the snap of Riku’s fingers, but it’s still Hell.
It’s still not safe for me to run through the woods.
There are no full moons or sunny days.” Funny how he hadn’t noticed the loss until Brownie kissed him and then hid from him like Yuri was a mistake.
It was cool. He didn’t need anyone. “What about you, though? How have you been? I feel bad I haven’t checked on you.
Are you good since you got dragged into the gods’ bullshit? ”
Fen flashed him a smile. “It’s all good. I’m guessing Celeste wiped the memories from me. If nae for everyone else worrying over me, I nae might have known anything happened at all.”
He was glad to hear that. Fen hadn’t deserved any of this. “So, no problems at all? That’s great.”
Fen shrugged. “I’ll admit I’ve been starved ever since then. It’s slightly maddening. It’s like no blood is good enough or food satisfies me. Like nothing tastes good any longer. I haven’t experienced that since I was first turned.”
Yuri was officially distracted from his bullshit. “You were once human?”
Fen nodded. “I was a warrior and was cut down on the battlefield. If a vampire hadn’t turned me, I would nae have survived.”
“Huh. I guess I never really think about people being turned. All Weres are born or are human mates. It must have been a heck of a transition.”
Fen’s hand lifted from the steering wheel and dropped again in a dismissive motion. “It was a long time ago. I remember verra little about those days.”
The diner came into sight. He suddenly wasn’t as confident about eating alone. “Would you like to eat with me? My treat.”
Fen found a parking spot. “Maybe some ice cream or something. I’m still trying my ass off to find something I can tolerate.”
Together, they climbed from the truck and headed inside. It was still slightly early for dinner. There were plenty of tables open. They chose one and sat. Yuri wasn’t finding comfort in silence today. He had to keep the conversation alive.
“Have you tried getting blood from only humans since your return? Maybe you’re drained in a way that requires something more powerful.”
Fen looked thoughtful for a moment. His green eyes caught the light in an unnatural way that held Yuri’s attention.
He was a handsome guy. Fen looked like the Scottish warrior he was.
“That’s a fair point,” Fen said finally.
“Vampires don’t bite each other often for fear of accidentally ending up mated to someone who isn’t their fated mate, so yeah. I’ve stuck to humans.”
“Wait. Vampires can end up mated to someone not fated for them?” Yuri was woefully ignorant of the vampire world. His pack hadn’t welcomed them.
Fen’s eyes swam with laughter. “It’s nae verra common.
Like I said, we avoid taking each other’s blood if we can, but yeah.
If things got heated and a blood exchange occurred, then they would be bonded and stuck until one or the other died.
Which obviously doesn’t happen often, of course.
So you could really fuck up an eternity if you’re nae careful. ”
“Fascinating.” Really. It was. He wished he had spent more time getting to know other species.
Sometimes he felt out of his depth. He spent a ton of time with Brownie, but he still knew next to nothing about hellhounds.
Yuri wanted to learn more about their world.
It was much bigger than his father had ever wanted him to discover.
Keep him isolated. Keep him ignorant. Teach Yuri to be a monster just like him. Yuri wasn’t him.
Yuri waited until they ordered to ask any more questions. The only way to leave his past behind was to learn everything he could about as many beings as he could. “What about Weres? Surely we have stronger blood than a human. That might be a place to start.”
Fen laughed. “Are you volunteering?”