21. Monroe
21
MONROE
“ Y ou know, after Amsterdam, you’ll have a two-week break,” Ember says.
I nod. We’re in Switzerland right now. Their snow-capped mountains might be my favorite view on the tour so far. Once again, I’m blown away by the experiences I’m getting to have that I never thought would be possible as a child. I lift my phone to snap a picture of the scene, sending it as a text to my mother. I know waiting for her to reach out is futile. She’s busy, enjoying her life as the widow of a childless millionaire. Last time we spoke on the phone, a month before the tour, she was getting ready for an Alaskan cruise. My chest squeezes when I see her like the message and text back.
Mom
Wow! So beautiful.
Monroe
I miss you.
Miss you too. Looking forward to the CMAs!
I sigh, tucking the phone away in my pocket. The feeling of loneliness only grows. I’m glad she’s still planning to attend the Country Music Awards with me.
“We planned for you to stay in Europe with a small security detail, but if you’ve changed your mind, we can always make accommodations to go back to the US,” Ember continues.
I shake my head, messing up Sergio’s brushstroke. “Sorry, Serg.”
“No worries, love.” He smiles, adjusting his hold on the eye-shadow brush. He’s my favorite stylist on the team.
I’ve been in hair and makeup for over an hour now. The break coming up after this is so needed. I’m not burned out. I’m just … in a funk.
It’s been twelve days since Cash left without saying goodbye.
And good riddance.
I thought we were closer than that. At the very least, I thought we were friends.
Apparently, this was just a job to him.
I close my eyes, releasing an exhale and resisting the urge to cry. I tap on my phone, reading the text from Zade. He wants my hotel information in case he gets free to drop in for another visit. I’m starting to think my image is good for his career. I don’t want to see him. He makes me feel even more isolated than when I actually am alone.
I start mindlessly scrolling through the comments on my Instagram. The fans are still ravenous for content of me and Cash. There hasn’t been anything new of the two of us in weeks, but the older stuff is still circulating.
These two are endgame. Please date him and make singing cowboy babies.
If she doesn’t want him, I’ll climb that man and ride him into the sunset.
Hottest couple on the planet. The way he looks at her? SWOON.
Do we still not know who he is? How is that possible? Someone find him!
The next comment steals my breath.
His name is Cash Redford. I went to high school with him in La Pradera, Texas. He has three brothers who are all just as hot.
I clap my hand over my mouth. The comment was posted twelve hours ago and has a hundred thousand likes.
“What is it?” Ember asks, her brows pinching together.
I hand her the phone and watch her eyes scan over the screen.
She gasps. “Should we give him a heads-up?”
I shrug. “He knew this was coming.”
“Do you have his number?”
I shake my head. Cash never asked for mine or gave me his. Ember takes the phone over to where Brooks is standing by the door. He smiles at her, grasping her elbow. I’ve known something is going on between them for a while. They seem to be holding back from going further than playful looks and touches. He takes the phone from her.
I turn away, looking back at myself in the mirror as Sergio finishes up my lip color. Ember comes back over and starts taking a video of me, probably to post on my story. She’s taken the content seriously lately, and she’s got a great eye for it.
“What did he say?” I can’t help but ask.
“He sent Cash a screenshot.”
“Hmm.”
A knock sounds on my dressing room door. A moment later, Danny brings over a large bouquet of red roses. He removes the note and hands it to me. A tingle of excitement shoots through my belly.
Are they from him?
Maybe he felt bad for taking off like that and not saying goodbye. I rip open the note with shaky fingers and look down at the handwritten card.
Did you miss me, Kitten?
I gasp, dropping the note. It flutters to the floor as the edges of my vision blur. The room starts to spin, and I feel myself falling into darkness.
Brooks is poised over me, his hand cupped behind my head. I blink up at him, the fluorescent lights behind his head making me squint.
“Hey, talk to me. Can you hear me?”
His face is blurry. I feel a tear stream down the side of my face .
Dammit, they just finished my makeup.
“Did she hit her head?” Ember’s shrill voice filters through the haze.
I turn toward where it’s coming from and see her kneeling beside Brooks with wide eyes.
“Is she bleeding?”
“I don’t think so, but I think she might have knocked her head against the counter when she fell. I wasn’t close enough to catch her.”
“How far out is the doctor?” Ember says, her voice sounding high-pitched.
Fidel is pacing behind her, a phone pressed to his ear. “That’s unacceptable! We have an emergency here. I don’t care if he has to get on a motorcycle to make it through the traffic. Get him here.”
He angrily pushes the End button on the call before kneeling down beside me. I try sitting up, and Brooks helps me by supporting my back.
“What happened? Did you just get lightheaded, mija?” Fidel’s eyes are squinting down at me with clear concern. His hand finds mine, holding it tightly. “Where are you hurting?”
I look down at the floor around me. When I see the note has fluttered a few feet away, I point to it. Fidel leans over, reaching for it. His face pales when he reads the scribbled words.
Brooks snatches it from his grip. “Shit.”
“I’m fine.” I move to stand, but a wave of nausea rolls over me.
Hands grab for me, supporting my weight as I rise .
“It just startled me—that’s all.” I look up at Brooks. “I don’t want anyone else to know about this.”
He blinks at me, exhaling. “If he?—”
“No.” My voice is firm. “It’s no one else’s business, except for the current security detail.”
Brooks nods, pocketing the note. “I got it. We still need to tighten things up and decide on a plan of action from here on out to avoid any further incidents.” He turns to Danny. “No more flowers or deliveries of any kind. Where’d you get this?”
Fidel raises his hands. “Go discuss this elsewhere. Monroe needs to lie down. Ember, get her some crackers and Sprite.”
I let my manager lead me over to the white velour sofa in the corner of the dressing room. Franky is there, and he twists open a bottle of water before giving it to me. The decor is all sleek, modern finishes with gold accents and plush, soft furnishings. I catch a glance of myself in the mirror. Thankfully, my hair and makeup survived the incident. If I can shake the head-spinning feeling, I’ll still be able to perform.
Ember places the plate of crackers in front of me, along with a glass of bubbly Sprite with a straw.
Franky hands me one of them. “Try to eat something, dear.”
“Thank you,” I exhale.
All the curious eyes in the room are making my skin crawl.
“Can we clear the room?”
Fidel waves his hand. “Everyone, out! Take a break, but don’t go far. ”
After a few crackers are in my stomach and I’ve sipped on the Sprite, I start to feel better. I stand up, walking around the room to see if the nausea comes back.
“I want to perform. We can’t cancel.”
Ember gapes at me. “Don’t you think you should see a doctor first?”
Fidel waves her off. “If she feels fine, the doctor can’t do much. It’s not like she has an injury.” He faces me. “If you’re sure, sweetheart, we’ll proceed.”
I nod. “I’m good. Let’s do this.”
Franky shakes his head, but doesn’t say a word.
When I wake up the next morning, I hear muffled voices outside my bedroom door. It sounds like Ember and Brooks, but I can’t make out what they’re saying. I sit up, stretching my arms overhead. The bedside clock reads ten a.m.
I roll out of bed, naked, and get dressed in the silk pajamas I splurged on in Paris. The spaghetti-strapped top is a deep red-and-pink floral pattern, cropped to show off a few inches of my tanned stomach. The matching flowy pants hang low on my hips and feel like heaven on my skin. It’s chilly in the room, so I reach into the back of the drawer for the denim shirt he gave me the night we met. I gave Brooks Cash’s hoodie and asked him to put it with his stuff before he left. This is all I have left of him now.
I use the bathroom and brush my teeth before approaching the door. I lean up against it to see if I can hear what they’re saying. My head is pounding.
“… went well last night, but I could tell she wasn’t feeling herself. She put on her dancing shoes and showed up for the fans, but something is definitely off with her,” Ember says.
The show?
I realize with a start that I don’t remember anything about the night before. I don’t even know what day it is. I open the door, feeling dazed.
Maybe I just need to eat something. I’ve been overdoing it.
Four pairs of eyes turn to study me. My mouth drops open at a particular pair of emerald-green ones staring at me.
I fold my arms over my chest despite the zip of giddy excitement surging through my stomach. His gaze scrapes over me, inspecting my body from head to toe and sending shivers down my spine. Goose bumps prick my skin at his sudden arrival and proximity.
“Well, well, well, good morning, beautiful. How’d you sleep, darlin’?” The Texas drawl sounds eerily similar to Cash’s, but just different enough to not be his.
I shift my eyes to the man who just spoke. He’s grinning from ear to ear. He has black hair, too, but it’s longer and wavy. His striking cerulean-blue eyes are studying me closely. He’s about an inch shorter than Cash, and he looks a whole lot like my former bodyguard, but with much more flirtatious charm.
Holy shit. He brought his brother.
“If you flirt with her one more time, I will literally saw your balls off in your fucking sleep.” Cash’s deep, low voice drags my attention back to him. A shiver of awareness brushes across my skin.
The brother only smirks, winking at me. “He’s all bark, no bite. Don’t let him scare you.”
Cash stalks toward me. As he strides across the room, my heart beats faster with each of his steps. My nipples harden as he grows closer, and I know he can see it through my silk top.
I lift my chin, setting my jaw. “I don’t remember inviting you back.”
“I don’t remember asking for permission.” He doesn’t stop until he’s six inches from me.
I have to tilt my head back to look up at him. He’s beautiful, but there are dark circles under his eyes, like he hasn’t slept.
“What are you doing here?” I stick my bottom lip out in a pout.
The sudden potency of his cedar forest and leather and pure Cash scent nearly knocks me off my feet. With no warning, I’m dizzy, and the room starts to spin.
Strong arms catch me before I’m even halfway down. I don’t fully lose consciousness, but the feel of his muscled biceps and forearms carrying me makes me feel even more delirious.
“I love the way you look at me,” I mumble quietly so one else can hear.
He grunts, gently depositing me on the sofa and kneeling beside me. His fingers find mine, squeezing tight. He leans in closer to my cheek, his voice dropping to a whisper. “How you feeling, Princess? ”
His scratchy voice makes me feral.
“Hmm, right now? I’m feeling very turned on.”
Oh no. I must be delirious.
He chuckles into my ear, the warmth of his exhale causing me to lean into him.
No! I’m mad at him. Soooo mad …
“While I’d love to help you out with that, I need to know how your head is feeling. Do you remember yesterday?”
“Yesterday? Are we still in Paris? If we are, I want one of those chocolate croissant things.”
His rough fingertips caress the skin of my forehead for a few long moments as he studies my lips. “No, we’re not. But I’ll see what I can do about that.”
“Well, I’ll be damned.” The brother speaks from behind Cash.
I try to focus on him, but my eyes are struggling to obey me. “Is he your brother?”
“Younger, yes.”
“What—what’s wrong?” Ember rushes over, her voice an octave too high. “What’s wrong with her?”
The brother shrugs. “I have no idea. I was talking about him. He’s a goner.” His shit-eating grin widens.
Cash tenses his shoulder muscles, releasing a deep exhale. “Shut the fuck up, Duke.” He turns to face Ember. “Has she seen a doctor yet?”
Ember responds, “No … they didn’t make it before the start of the show. Do you want me to call one?”
“Yes.”
Ember scurries off.
I reach up, cupping the side of his face. His five-o’ clock shadow is scratchy under my touch. “You’re so handsome. You and he look alike.”
“Aw, thanks, sweetheart. You’re not so bad yourself. My brother here has been depressed as hell since getting home,” Duke remarks, crossing his arms casually.
“Hey, Duke, did you come to be useful or to get pummeled? Go out and find us a couple of chocolate croissants. Take Brooks with you,” Cash orders.
I don’t hear a response before the guys leave together. The room is quiet, and all I have to focus on is Cash.
“Why are you here? I didn’t ask you to come back.” I should be playing it cool and kicking him out, but my head feels too swimmy for me to keep up the act of indifference toward him.
Cash grabs my hand, pulling my fingers up to his lips. He kisses them softly, lips lingering. He doesn’t respond; instead, he kisses each one of my fingertips, nibbling on the last one. I gasp, the sensation shooting straight down to my groin.
“I heard you might need me. I’m here because I couldn’t stay away.”
I sigh, closing my eyes. That was all I needed to hear.