25. Monroe
25
MONROE
R edford Ranch is unlike any place I’ve ever been. The trees are sprouting fresh green leaves, and wildflowers are beginning to spring up across the field in front of the house. The sunrise looks like something out of an old painting. It makes me want to write. I pull my phone out and tap on the Notes app.
I’m sitting on the front porch of the bunkhouse, the gentle morning breeze cooling my cheeks. I can hear the shouts of cowboys herding up bulls in the distance, over near the arena, which is blocked from my view by the main house. I type out the words on my phone.
Nothing compares to the feel of his arms wrapped around me.
There is no beauty like the protective glint in his eyes when he looks my way.
I’m the object of his desire, and he makes me see all I could be ,
That I’m more than a body, more than what they say.
The front door opening behind me brings me to a stop. I turn around in the old rocking chair to see Cash standing there, two coffee mugs in his hands. He’s already dressed in a straw cowboy hat, worn Wranglers, cowboy boots, and a faded blue T-shirt, which stretches over his broad shoulders deliciously.
I accept the mug of coffee he holds out and type out another line to the song.
His green eyes see right through to my soul.
He wraps my battered heart up in his gentle hands,
Filling up the gaping hole
That’s pierced through my chest like a brand.
The warmth from the mug spreads through my chilled fingers. “Thank you.”
He nods, eyes peering out across the field. “How’d you sleep?”
I shrug. “Okay, I guess. It’s so quiet here.”
He responds with a chuckle. I confessed to him on the plane ride here that when the stalker came into my room posing as a janitor, I froze. My body shut down in a pure state of panic and terror. He told me it’s not my fault, but I still feel weighed down with guilt.
We sit in silence, sipping our coffee for a few more minutes. My body goes motionless when I see a tiny baby bird with a yellow breast land on the porch railing. There’s a bird feeder hanging above him. He flies up to it, pecking at the seeds before flying away.
“I’m gonna go break in the bulls. Dolly will be there, watching. Do you … do you want to come?” There’s hesitation in his words.
We’re in unfamiliar territory. I’m not here as a friend. I’m his client and a guest in his home, but we’ve got a buzz of sexual tension around us that he seems to feel a level of guilt for.
I feel myself nodding. “I need to get dressed.”
He nods. “I can wait. They’re just now rounding them up. I wouldn’t wear anything too fancy over there. It can get pretty filthy.”
My eyes trail down over him. He seems more at ease since we got here. The tense, reserved man with the constant concern in his gaze is now relaxed and less stressed.
“Okay then. I’ll be ready in twenty minutes.”
Dolly hollers next to me, “You look like a wuss! My granny could hold on longer than that, Jensen!”
She collapses back on the bench, her cheeks flushed. The long, dark hair spilling over her shoulders is thick and shiny. She has barely any makeup on, but she’s stunning. She could be a model. I can see the familial resemblance between Cash and all his siblings in the olive skin and dark hair they share.
“You doing okay over in the bunkhouse? We tried to make it welcoming for you, but I know it’s a little rough. The guys never finished out the trim work in the hallways.”
People always do this with me. They think because I’m rich and famous now, I’ve never lived in a place with creaky floorboards and loose faucets. The trailer park I grew up in was ten times more worn down, with moldy ceilings, threadbare furniture, and water that only ran hot half the time.
“It’s perfect, and the bed is very comfortable. I appreciate your hospitality. I know me being here was … unexpected.” I fidget my hands, trying to find something to do with them besides holding them in my lap.
The urge to make Cash’s sister like me is suddenly overwhelmingly strong. I shouldn’t care, but I do. She smiles, lifting her hand up to block out the sunlight shining in her eyes.
“Oh, no worries about that. We’re glad you’re able to feel safe here. Trust me, there’s nowhere on earth a woman is more taken care of than on Redford Ranch. Just ask Rosie.” Dolly shakes her head, pursing her lips.
“Is that Holden’s girlfriend?”
Dolly nods. “Fiancée. The wedding is this month. She’s feeling sick, what with the pregnancy and all. Twins make it that much worse during the first trimester.”
I gape at her. “Oh wow, twins. That’s … that’s exciting.”
The mere thought of twins, babies, or getting pregnant right now fills me with dread. My life is a chaotic whirlwind with concerts going past midnight and private flights across the country. It’s bizarre to hear about a woman close to my age experiencing such a different life.
Dolly smiles. “She’s taken a little bit to get used to the idea, but Holden was thrilled from day one. They’ll be incredible parents, and I’ll be the best auntie ever.”
I don’t know what else to say, so I nod, turning my attention back to the arena. The life they live here at the ranch is the polar opposite of mine. Cash is probably on the hunt for a girl like Rosie, someone to give him twins and cook him a big pot of chili every night.
I swallow over the lump in my throat as I watch him stepping up to the pen, preparing to climb onto the next bull.
“I can’t believe they actually ride those things.” When I saw him riding for a few seconds the first time, I didn’t have the emotional connection to him that I do now.
“Honey, don’t you worry. Cash is one of the best.”
“It looks deranged,” I whisper.
The animal has a tanned hide with black scars marking half of its back. I can’t tell what they’re from, but the beast is thrashing around in the pen like it has truly gone mad and is ready to kill whoever dares to touch it.
“We supply bulls to the Riders, an underground bull riding ring, but we also take on and train some of the ones who have been abused at other ranches or got kicked out of the Pbr for being too wild and dangerous. The guys attempt to teach them manners and how the eight-second ride is supposed to go, but there’s always that first go-around when somebody’s gotta take on a new bull who’s either killed or injured another cowboy.”
My jaw slacks open. I can’t look away from Cash’s back, his muscular arms glistening in the sun. He’s looking down at the animal, trying to find a way to mount it in the chute while it’s slamming its body against the iron railing.
“So, he could, like … die, doing this?”
“I mean, yeah. Technically, every time they ride, they’re taking a risk. It’s stressful, to say the least, but that’s how we make a good part of our living. Cash is fearless, but he’s also incredibly smart. He’s a natural. I worry about him the least.” She reaches over to grab my hand reassuringly. “Just watch. He’s got this.”
My stomach feels like it’s full of lead, but I can’t seem to peel my eyes away from the scene. Cash waits patiently until the animal finally calms down a fraction. He swings his leg over, dipping his cowboy hat to the man holding the gate. I gasp when the chute opens a second later and he’s sent flying into the arena, still latched on to the back of the bull.
Terror spikes in my lungs as I watch the scene unfold. I squeeze Dolly’s hand so tight that I’m afraid I’ll hurt her, but she squeezes right back. My bodyguard is thrown through the air like a noodle, thrashing around with each thrust of the bull like he was born to do it. He holds on with one hand, the other stretched high in the air. At one point, he’s facing directly toward us, and I swear I see a smile across his lips.
He is an absolute lunatic.
A hot-as-fuck lunatic.
A hoot and holler from the cowboys surrounding the arena makes my heart rate gallops. I can’t tell how long it’s been when Cash ejects himself from the back of the bull. He tucks his body in as he rolls to the side, narrowly missing a pounding hoof to the chest. He hops up, jogging to the side of the pipe fence like it’s just another Tuesday afternoon on the job. His back is covered in dirt from the arena.
Holy shit, that was sexy.
A manly man, who not only protects me from rabid fans and my stalker, but also rides savage bulls like it’s nothing, feels like a fantasy come to life.
“See! I told you he’d be fine. You just need to understand that Cash is the one who takes calculated risks. He knew he’d win that.”
I attempt to control my rapid breathing, focusing on slow exhales, like my trainer, Marty, taught me. This means nothing. So, he rides feral bulls and isn’t afraid of them? So what? I’m unaffected. I refuse to be affected.
Hot damn, I’m affected as fuck.
If my dampening panties are any indication, I think that might be the sexiest thing I’ve ever witnessed.
Cash removes his hat, dusting it off on his pant leg. He walks up to where we’re sitting on a platform above the arena. I let go of Dolly’s hand to stand up and lean over the side to look down at him, inspecting his body for any injuries.
His health is vital to my safety.
He tilts his head up to look at me. “Hey.”
I bite into my lower lip. “Hi.”
A smirk pulls at the corner of his lips. “I’m out of practice.”
“Uh, I couldn’t tell. Looked pretty solid to me.”
“You know a thing or two about bull riding, Princess?”
“It was graceful. You, uh, you looked like a pro. ”
He studies me for a few long seconds before replacing his hat on his head. “Well, I was distracted.”
“Distracted by what?” I tilt my head.
He spits into the dirt, his skin damp with sweat and layered with a thin film of dust from the arena.
“You,” he finally says, an intense gaze focused on my lips.
My throat constricts. I don’t have a response. My limbs feel like Jell-O, melting in the Texas sun.
“You’re my responsibility. It’s hard to focus on anything else.”
I nod, pretending like I believe him. “Well, I’m glad you weren’t so distracted that you got trampled.”
He smirks. “Didn’t Dolly tell you? I’m a natural.”
Dolly chirps up from behind me, “I did tell her! You haven’t lost it yet, Cash. I need to go in and check on Rosie.” She shuffles behind me.
Once the sound of her retreating steps has faded, I turn back to him.
“So, you’re going to be an uncle.”
His jaw tics. “Looks that way.”
“You excited?”
“Of course.”
“I don’t know much about your family,” I blurt out.
He pushes himself back off the fence. “Well, if you wanted to learn, you should’ve said something.”
I shrug, turning to walk down the steps. Once I reach the second one from the bottom, he’s walked around to face me, our eyes level.
“Do you mind if I’m here—in your space—getting to know them? ”
“I don’t see the harm in it.”
“I don’t want to intrude. I’m not … I’m just a temporary guest here.” I chew the side of my lip.
He stretches out his hand. I grab it, letting him support me as I step down to the ground. Once my feet are steady, he still doesn’t let go.
“You’re not a problem. Stop talking like you are.”