30. Cash
30
CASH
M y vision blurs red as I stumble down the stairs of the bunkhouse’s front porch. Someone might actually fucking die today when I find out who did this to her.
I’m afraid of the things I will do to them when I find out who it was. I don’t want Monroe to see that part of me. There’s a dark rage that I don’t often let out, but when it comes to the surface, I have little control over myself.
My skin is on fire. I keep my steps at a normal pace, exhaling slowly as I reach the main house. I yank open the front door. When I enter the kitchen, Rosie is standing near the stove. Her red hair is tied back in a low ponytail. Since I’ve been home, she’s barely left the house due to her morning sickness.
She looks up at me, her smile dropping when she sees my face. The spoon she was using to stir something in the pot clatters to the counter.
“What happened?”
“Who’s here? Who’s come in and out today? ”
She looks around the empty kitchen. “No one. Holden took some cows to the sale barn early this morning. Kacie called in sick. Dolly is at her bridesmaid dress fitting for the wedding.”
“What about the ranch hands? Jensen and the guys.”
Rosie shrugs. “I know Holden took a few with them, but Duke’s been sorting through the winter hay to clean it out before we get the new batch in. Cash, what’s wrong?”
My muscles are tingling with the desire to expend some energy. I need an axe and a massive woodpile. I pull out my phone to find the picture and show Rosie.
A new text on the screen is from an unsaved number. It was sent twenty minutes ago.
Unknown
Does she know you’ll never commit to her?
My body stills. Monroe showed me the picture from Katherine ten minutes ago, and it had only been live for three.
“Fuck.”
My ex-situationship is the one who took the photo of us and shared it online.
“Cash, what is going on?” Rosie approaches me, placing her hand on my forearm.
I look down at my future sister-in-law. I want to explain—I do—but right now, the words don’t want to come. A million thoughts are racing through my head, and I have to figure out how to tell Monroe that Kacie is the one who did this to her.
“Kacie is done working here. Do you know anyone else who can take her place until you’re feeling better?”
Rosie’s jaw slacks open. “I’m sure we can find someone. I’ll talk to Dolly. What did she do?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “I’m too pissed the fuck off right now to explain it. I’m going to talk to her. Would you go to check in on Monroe soon? And don’t let anyone else around the bunkhouse except Duke. Can you ask him to keep an eye on her while I’m gone?”
Rosie nods, her eyes wide with concern. “Sure. I’ll take her some lunch.”
“Thanks.” I turn and walk out, heading to my beat-up white Ford F-150 King Ranch parked in the driveway.
Once I’m inside, I accelerate quickly, the dust behind my wheels filling the Texas sky.
I look over at the passenger seat, trying to picture Monroe in it. I can’t do it. I can’t see her hopping in my truck to go for a late-night drive down a back road. I can’t picture her dressed down, scooting over to place her hand on my thigh and lean her blonde head on my shoulder.
My grip tightens on the steering wheel. The picture of us under the shower is my fault. If I hadn’t lost control, it wouldn’t have happened. My only fucking job is to protect her, and I’m failing.
I slam my hand down on the steering wheel. “Fuck.”
I put my own selfish desires over her safety, endangering her reputation and exposing her. Not only that, but my ex-situationship is the one responsible for the photo, which puts the blame on my shoulders. My chest tightens when I remember the look of mortification and horror on Monroe’s face.
All I could think about was touching her, feeling her trembling around me, seeing what her face looked like when she came on my fingers. I wanted to hear her scream. I wanted it more than I’d ever wanted anything. I wanted to experience her moaning my name in my ear. It’s all I think about when I’m in bed at night, alone.
Against my will, my dick starts to harden again at the memory of her taste on my tongue. My boot presses down on the accelerator, increasing my speed.
My phone starts to ring. I look down to see my brother Holden’s name on it. I press the button on the side to send him to voicemail. With one hand on the wheel, I do a quick google search for Monroe Blue. I grit my teeth when the photo of us under the shower fills the screen. The memory of our first time is now forever going to be tainted by the fact that the entire world got to witness it.
A few minutes later, I pull up to Kacie’s house. Her red Nissan car is in the driveway. I park behind it, turning off the ignition and opening the truck door before slamming it closed as I stalk up to the front of the little house her grandmother left her.
I bang my fist on the doorframe so hard that it rattles the old window next to it. A minute later, the door swings open to reveal Kacie. She’s dressed in a skimpy black nightgown that borders on lingerie. She chews her gum obnoxiously, a smirk on her lips. I never realized how annoying the way she smacks it was until now .
“Can I help you?” She leans her hip against the frame of the door.
I hold up the phone, the picture filling the screen. “I didn’t know you got into photography.” My words have a bite to them.
She doesn’t even look at the picture, eyes staying focused on mine.
She laughs, shaking her head side to side and turning around to walk into the house. “Come on in. Let’s have a chat.”
Against my better judgment, I follow her into the house. It’s always been a mess, and today is no different. Shoes are piled by the door. A litter box is in the corner of the living room, adding a stench to the unidentifiable smells filling the house. Kacie has three cats, making it impossible to keep hair off the furniture, carpet, and her clothes. She sits down at the painted wooden table, crossing her legs as she uses a lighter to light the end of her cigarette.
She gestures to the fridge. “Help yourself to a beer.”
I plant my feet, folding my arms over my chest. “I’m not staying, Kacie. Why the fuck would you share that photo? What could you possibly have to gain?”
She smiles, her pretty heart-shaped face looking uglier than I’ve ever thought before. “Ten thousand dollars.”
My breathing grows shallow. I stare at her face, searching for any hint of a lie. She inhales the cigarette again. Last time I saw her, she had quit.
“I know. I thought it might be a scam at first, but I thought what the hell , ya know? I saw the opportunity, and I took it. ”
“Who’d you sell it to?” I snap.
She shrugs. “Someone found me on Facebook. They must have seen some old photos of us because they knew we had a history.”
I hold up a hand. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. You mean, you were searching for an opportunity to take that photo because someone had paid you to stalk Monroe and get, what exactly?”
She jumps up, shoving her finger in my face. “Some of us don’t have family wealth, okay?! She’s a celebrity. I’m sure people take pictures like that of her all the time. And you’re playing with fire. You think Monroe Blue is going to date you ? Please, be real with yourself right now!”
I grab her shoulders, leaning down until my face is inches from hers. The smell of smoke fills my nostrils.
“What kind of picture were you supposed to get? Me and her?”
She shakes her head and frowns. “No, just something juicy or her in some kind of compromising position. The better the picture, the more I would get paid.” Her eyes trail down to my lips. “Do you really want to be with her? You’ve never committed to a woman in your life.”
She leans into me and tries pressing her lips to mine. I shove her away, taking a step back. My hands are shaking. I have to find out who it was, who was behind it, and how they knew to use Kacie to get it.
“I need the contact information for whoever it was. Give it to me—now.”
She crosses her arms and sits back down again. “Why should I? What do I get out of it? ”
I want to smash every window in this fucking house until she agrees to give it to me. My fists clench at my sides.
“Because her fucking life is in danger! She has a stalker who’s been killing birds and gifting them to her, telling her she’s going to be next. Whoever the fuck paid you for that could be the same person. I need it now .”
Kacie gapes up at me, the cigarette dangling from her lips. Her eyes begin to well with tears. She rises to a stand, slowly walking over to the faded yellow kitchen counter. She grabs a pink sticky note and steps back over to me. She holds it in her hand, releasing a shaky exhale. She peers up at me.
“When did it happen?” Her voice suddenly sounds small.
I stare at the paper in her hand. My ears are ringing. All I can think about is snatching it out of her hand and finding the person responsible.
“When did what happen?”
“When did you fall in love with her?”
Goose bumps prick on my skin at her words. I blink down at her, feeling my jaw clench.
“When did you fall in love with her?”
Her words ring inside my head.
“When did you fall in love with her?”
My limbs start to feel numb. I realize Kacie is still speaking. I attempt to focus on her words.
“You’re the most emotionally disconnected person I know. You suppress all your feelings. You’re like the fucking Tin Man with no heart. You and I were hooking up for almost a year. One day, you saw me out with Todd, and it didn’t affect you one bit. I only did it to make you jealous! Then, you left on that tour, and next thing I know, you’re violent at the thought of someone hurting a random celebrity you’re paid to protect. You’ve never given that much of a shit about anyone who’s not your family.”
She’s hugging her stomach as she steps toward me, coming close enough to lay her hands on my chest. “Please, just tell me what it was I didn’t have. Do you really think she’s better for you? Is she actually going to be a part of your world here? Are you going to start wearing suits and dining at Michelin-starred restaurants in Paris with her, being hounded by fans? That’s not you, Cash. It never will be.”
I grip her wrists, peeling her off me. I take the sticky note from her fingers. She’s right, but I’ll die before I admit it to her. I don’t belong in Monroe’s world. I never will.
“I have nothing more to say to you. I never told you I wanted anything more with you. I never meant to hurt you, but what you did with the photo could’ve put her in serious danger. You’re not allowed back at Redford Ranch.”
I turn around, leaving her house and climbing back into my truck. When I look down at the sticky note, all it has is an email address.
I pick up my phone and snap a picture of it, texting the photo to Holden. I tap his number to put a call through. He answers on the second ring.
“Cash, where are you?”
“I just sent you a picture of an email address. Can you get your buddy from prison to tell me who it belongs to or the IP it was sent from? Anything will help. ”
“Yes. Where are you?”
“I’m driving myself off a cliff. Just do it.” I hang up the phone and turn up the volume of the local country station, pressing my foot down on the accelerator.
The numbness in my hands feels good as I swing the axe down toward the wood.
“When did you fall in love with her?”
I split another log with the heavy steel. The sound of wood snapping open cuts the air. I’ve been at it for hours. A small mountain of wood is piled beside me. The sun is starting to turn the sky pink as it dips behind the trees.
“When did you fall in love with her?”
Another log cracks open. Sweat travels down my spine, leaving a cool trail on my skin in its wake. I lift the hem of my soaked T-shirt to dab my brow. It’s soiled and sticking to me. I peel it off and toss it to the side. My abs are coated with sweat from the hours I’ve spent out here in the sun, trying to work through my newfound realization that I’m in love with the celebrity I was hired to protect. It’s stupid, but I didn’t fucking know it until today.
I thought it was lust. I thought I just wanted to fuck her, but even after I did that, I felt ten times more addicted to her. I want to know everything there is to know about Monroe Blue.
“When did you fall in love with her? ”
Feminine laughter floats on the breeze. I pause, the axe still midair. Monroe stumbles around the corner of the house, her arm looped through my little brother’s. The cool sweat on my skin immediately heats to boiling point. Her blonde hair is curling around her cheeks, like a scene from an old movie. I don’t know how she manages to look like a vintage pinup doll with rosy cheeks twenty-four seven, even with her glamour team a thousand miles away. She’s dressed in a cute little pale pink sundress that hugs her curves just right. Duke is wearing a shirt the exact same color.
Her delicate fingers are clutching a wineglass, the pink contents splashing out on the ground with each of her unsteady steps. Duke releases her arm to wrap his around her waist. He’s way too fucking close to her for comfort. Blood rushes to my head.
Her bright blue eyes rise to meet mine. She gasps, her back going ramrod straight. Her pink lips form an O. Duke turns to me, a flash of fear crossing his features. He pulls away slightly, but doesn’t let go.
Monroe’s eyes leisurely travel from the axe all the way down my exposed torso to my filthy jeans tucked into my cowboy boots. Unmistakable lust fills her gaze.
“When did you fall in love with her?”
I swallow the drool accumulating in my mouth before dropping the axe to the ground. I stalk toward them. Duke’s eyes widen with fear, but not nearly enough. Monroe raises her glass to her lips, and she sips from the rim.
I’ve been expending my energy for hours on this fucking wood pile, but I still have plenty left to use on my brother’s face. He realizes my intent, backing away from Monroe as I grow closer.
He lets her go completely, turning toward the house. “I just remembered that I need to?—”
I speed up, catching him by the shirt collar and jerking him back toward me. Monroe lets out a scream when my fist connects with the side of his jaw.
The rage that’s been sizzling inside me all fucking day is unleashed. Duke isn’t afraid to take a punch, and with three older brothers, he knows how to throw one back. He ducks my next attempt and delivers one to my left eye with a quick jab. Pain shoots through my face.
“You can have two more, motherfucker. I was just watching over her until you got back.”
His statement only angers me further. My arm rises up to guard my face. I’m patient, and he’s not. He throws his head back with a laugh.
“You’re fucking crazy. She’s yours, fucker! I didn’t do shit.” He’s laughing harder now.
I use both hands to reach out and grab the back of his head, slamming my skull up into his mouth. Blood pours out of his nose. His lip is busted and possibly his nose from the force of my head butting him.
“Fucking hell, Cash!”
I pull my fist back, landing another blow to his face on the side of his jaw. He goes down. I hear another scream from behind me.
Holden rushes out from the house, shaking his head. His eyes are dark with rage.
“Get your angry, deranged ass back to the bunkhouse. ”
He jerks our little brother up off the ground, blood spewing from his nose like a fountain and coating the front of his pink T-shirt.
I smile down at him. “Don’t touch my woman.”
Holden jerks Duke’s hand and drags him toward the house. “Rosie will clean you up. I thought you would’ve learned your lesson by now.”
Duke and Rosie dated when they were just kids, but Duke’s always been the one to stir shit up.
I turn back around to face Monroe. Her face is white, eyes trailing over me and the blood coating the front of my naked chest and abs.
“You’re a madman,” she mutters.
“Only when it comes to you, Princess.”