33. Monroe
33
MONROE
D riving Cash wild with my mouth has been on my bucket list for a while now, ever since I started fantasizing about the calluses on his fingertips.
I grip the base of his impressive erection and lean down. He sucks in a breath before I even make contact. I smile before opening up and licking the tip. He groans, his thigh muscles tensing up. I lick the tip again before kissing it. His hand reaches out, gripping the back of my neck. I’m squeezing with my hand as I slowly lower my head down over him, taking him as far back as I can go.
I wasn’t kidding about voice lessons. I’ve fully mastered the ability to relax my throat muscles. The tip of him hits the back of my throat.
“Fuck, look at you, Princess,” he breathes, squeezing my neck.
I lift my head back up, bobbing over him and letting him know I’m savoring the taste and feel of him with moans that vibrate the back of my throat .
“You’re doing such a good job for me.” His words are like melted butter, smooth and satisfying as I pleasure him with my mouth.
I breathe out through my nose, starting to increase my tempo and the pressure. The rain is pelting the window softer now, and the inside of the truck is starting to fog up.
“I’m gonna come in your mouth.” He’s short of breath. His muscles are tense under my hands, fingers still wrapped around my neck.
The power I feel in this position is addictive. He’s usually so strong and in control, but he’s surrendering to the pleasure now, surrendering to me.
I suck harder, moving faster over him and letting go of him with my hand so that my mouth can take him farther in. He moans louder, and I feel the spurts of warm liquid sliding down the back of my throat. His dick pulses between my lips, and his mouth groans my name.
“Damn … fuck, baby.”
Finally, he releases my neck, and I slowly lift off of him. My cheeks are wet with reactionary tears. His eyes are on me as his hands work to pull his pants back up. He tucks himself in before using a thumb to wipe away the tears.
“My compliments to your instructor.”
I lean back, laughing at him. “Just something to remember me by every time you drive down this road.”
His smile fades. He leans forward to put the truck into reverse. “We should probably head back. I don’t have enough room in here for what I want to do to you.”
The days on the ranch start to melt together. Cash gets up early every morning and leaves the bunkhouse to work before I’m even awake. I notice the absence of his warmth since we’ve been sleeping in the same bed ever since the night he carried me to it. He makes me coffee and leaves me presents, like muffins, scones, and sometimes bacon and eggs. He always attaches a cute little note that says something about making sure I don’t burn my skilled tongue on the hot coffee.
During the days, I spend time walking with Rosie and Dolly. We’ve started carrying mats with us to the top of the hill we walk to and stop to do yoga in the morning sun. After a shower, I spend hours working on the lyrics to my next album. I haven’t felt this inspired in years, and the album is mostly mushy love songs and a few about loving the right person at the wrong time.
In the evenings, we hang out with his family. They make use of the firepit outside when the chilly spring evenings require a little more than a light jacket. I had no idea Duke could play guitar, and he and I sing together while the others listen. Cash doesn’t mind, as long as I’m cuddled up next to him on the log bench.
They all seem to have caught on to the fact that we’re regularly hooking up, but no one has commented on it or asked if we’re actually dating. I’m beyond thankful for it. Even on my daily walks with Dolly and Rosie, they don’t mention it.
Rosie is finally feeling better, so they haven’t hired another cook. I sit and talk to them in the kitchen at mealtimes, trying to watch and learn a few skills.
The girls talk about the upcoming wedding more than anything. Cash is the best man, and he’ll be escorting his sister down the aisle, which makes me irrationally happy. The fact that I’m this giddy that it won’t be another woman is highly concerning.
Katherine calls me every few days to update me on the rumors in the media, letting me know that the fans have discovered who Cash is, but due to his lack of social media presence, they haven’t gotten far. They’re ravenous of the photos we had taken of me on a horse with him leading it. I wore a flowy white dress in a wildflower field, and several magazine outlets are asking for exclusive professional shoots in the same location.
It’s just a matter of time before they get more information about him and figure out where we are. We’re their favorite couple by far, and all my songs are rising on the charts. The videos of me and Cash on the tour previously have continued to blow up on social media.
It’s Saturday night, and the guys are all taking off to go celebrate Holden’s bachelor party.
Cash cups the side of my face, tilting it up to look at him. “I don’t have to go. I can stay here with you and make sure no unexpected guests show up.”
I shake my head. “You deserve to let loose with them. Sterling came all the way home just for tonight. We’ll be fine.”
Duke, Sterling, and Holden are in the kitchen, taking shots of amber whiskey. Holden has his arm wrapped around Rosie’s waist, smiling down at her. He leans down to whisper in her ear.
“He’s here for the wedding too. I’m not sure I should leave you.”
I reach up to pull his neck down, kissing him soundly on the mouth. “I’m a big girl. We’re as safe as we can be here. Go . And hurry back so I can take your pants off.”
He grins down at me, nipping my ear with his teeth before he lets go. “All right, boys. I guess I’m the DD?”
They finally file out of the kitchen and head for Cash’s truck.
“Take care of my sexy future husband!” Rosie hollers after them before shutting the door.
“Okay, girls, what trashy reality TV are we in the mood for?”
“Before we do that”—Dolly holds up a hand—“can we get an update on our own little show before my head explodes?”
She’s sitting cross-legged on the kitchen counter, fiddling with a pill bottle on the countertop. We’re all dressed in cozy sweatsuits to prepare for our expanding waistlines once the wings and loaded French fries are delivered.
“What show?” I ask, pouring myself a glass of rosé.
When neither of them answers, I look up to see them exchanging a glance that only friends as close as sisters could interpret.
“What?”
Dolly exhales an exasperated sigh. “You and Cash! We’ve tried to refrain from asking, but my brother has never acted this way with anyone before, and with all the footage we’ve seen from the tour, we’re dying over here.” She pops a pill into her mouth.
I’m assuming it’s her heart medication. Duke told me she had an episode the other day, and the doctor had to adjust her meds. I’m not clear on exactly what her condition is, but I know she sees a cardiologist regularly, and Cash worries about her.
“We swear to keep it under wraps, but you gotta give us something. Are you and he together?” Rosie is mixing up a mocktail with cherry juice, ginger ale, and cream of coconut.
I haven’t gossiped like this since the last time I saw Ember. She’s been checking in on me occasionally, but we haven’t talked about boys in a long time.
I move over to the barstool, pull it out, and take a seat with a heavy sigh. The girls lean in.
“I guess you could say I’m falling for him.” More like I’m totally stupid in love.
Dolly gasps. Rosie smiles so big that I see almost all her teeth.
“I just don’t think he feels the same way—at all,” I quickly add. “He sees me as a client. He’s made it pretty clear what we’re doing now is just … a temporary, fun thing while we’re at the ranch. I know he cares a lot about me. I just don’t think we would work in the real world. This place feels li ke a bubble, separate from my reality.” I gesture to the big cedar posts and stonework on the backsplash.
The girls nod, like they know exactly what I mean.
“We won’t continue it on the tour, and we definitely aren’t together. Which is ironic, considering the general public thinks we are. It’s like reverse fake dating. He’s not my boyfriend.” My stomach sinks as the words leave my mouth.
I didn’t even realize I was feeling these things so heavily until now. I haven’t let myself acknowledge how attached to him I’ve actually become.
“Well, if it’s any consolation, I meant what I said. I’ve never seen Cash like this. He’s usually immune to emotions. It’s like he’s finally opening up to someone. He dates women, but he never goes exclusive, never tells him he loves them, never brings them to family holidays or anything. You’re practically living together.”
Dolly slides down from the counter and walks over to wrap me in a hug. Rosie joins her, and they cocoon me in a group hug. I’m stiff at first, feeling strange and awkward. Finally, I relax into them. Tears prick the corners of my eyes. Neither of them has their phones out, trying to get a picture with me. They’re not begging for backstage passes to my concert or asking me if the rumors they heard are true.
For a moment, I feel like this must be what people with a loving family feel like all the time.
They both pull back, smiling at me.
Confessions pull at my tongue.
“I think I’m in love with him,” I whisper. “But he doesn’t want anything to do with my life. He wants this, which I don’t blame him for. Redford Ranch is amazing. I’d want to stay here, too, if I were him.”
The confession seems to lift a weight from my shoulders, but it makes me feel strangely heavy at the same time. The situation is truly impossible. I’m not the girl for a Redford brother. I can’t cook. My schedule is booked out for the foreseeable twenty-four months, and it involves red carpets and private flights out of the country. It’s a lot for someone to take on.
“You’re a catch, and don’t you let anyone think differently. Yes, your life is a little unorthodox and busy as hell, but you’re also sweet and surprisingly down to earth. We love having you here. You’re welcome anytime, no matter what’s going on with you and Cash.” Rosie smiles at me, reaching down to squeeze my hand.
The doorbell ringing interrupts our bonding moment. I need a minute to contain myself, so I offer to get it.
“About time the wings got here. I’m wasting away!” Rosie exclaims.
She and Dolly loop arms and move toward the living room.
I smile at their retreating backs. They’re both so kind and welcoming to me, even though I’m only here temporarily because their brother agreed to protect me. I feel like an imposter in their lives, like I don’t belong here, as much as I wish I did.
I make my way to the front door, digging in my hoodie pocket for the cash I made sure to grab so I could cover dinner for the girls. I twist the door handle open .
“I hope they gave you the extra ranch cups because—” My words halt as the man’s face comes into focus.
The stalker who broke into my hotel room is standing there, bright white teeth shining as he grins up at me. He raises the Polaroid camera in his hands, the flash blinding me as he takes a photo.
“I’ve really missed you, Kitten.”