Chapter 16 #2
The creepy guard stood at the end of the hall, blocking the way to the garage, and I turned quickly from his heavy gaze.
The joy that had been in my step turned to that nagging fear and I pulled at my shirt, suddenly self-conscious in just Emerson’s T-shirt.
Neither Pack nor Breaker were in the main room, nor were they in front of my room.
As I showered and dressed, I contemplated what it meant.
A show of trust? Or a test? But why would he test me unless the same convoluted emotions were swarming his mind like a hive of angry hornets like they were mine?
I swore if my chest tightened at the sight of him one more time, I was going to impale it with something sharp.
My hair cutely tied in two knots, I padded from the room in my bare feet and ventured down the hall.
I peered into the empty rooms that shared the hall with my room, surprised at how they were all furnished but seemed like they had never been used.
The view from the room across from mine was as stunning as Emerson’s view.
It overlooked the ocean, unlike mine that looked out to the lawn with woods in the distance.
Maybe he’d been worried I would jump to my death rather than stay in his grasp.
With a laugh at how ridiculous that sounded, I continued down the hall, walking into the front foyer for the first time since the night he’d taken me.
No blood stained the marble floor, no evidence remained that two men had died there.
In front of me, the front door stood unguarded.
The crystal chandelier above me threw prisms over the wall from the morning sun as I stood there.
A door with no guards, no one to stop me from running.
I wasn’t na?ve. They were outside, patrolling or maybe waiting there. Waiting to see if I would risk it.
Risk. It was something I embraced, and days earlier would have taken. But now I hesitated. Emerson had left me alone, given me a taste of freedom, handed me his trust. If it was indeed a test, I didn’t want to fail because I didn’t want to disappoint him.
“What is the matter with you, Ava?” I muttered.
I twisted the fabric of my shirt. This was a chance to escape and yet I didn’t want to because it would mean leaving the very man who had captured me.
A man who was stirring emotions that shouldn’t be waking.
A man who had a side to him I didn’t think anyone knew existed.
And he had revealed that side to me, like it was the most natural thing.
Because he and I were alike, living in solitary, keeping our secrets, living with our demons, and not letting others all the way in.
We took what we needed to get us through and turned away from anything more than casual sex, anything that meant commitment and opening up.
Searching without searching until we found each other.
The realization hit so hard that I had to sit.
I drew my knees to my chest as my mind continued to contemplate that fact.
Emerson and I had found each other, our paths colliding with one stupid mistake.
If I believed in fate, thought it was more than something in the books I read, I would have called it that.
I didn’t know how long I sat there, staring at the gateway to my freedom, sitting on the threshold between running and staying. Not accepting and accepting.
“What are you doing?” Jill’s voice caused me to jump from the trance I’d been in. She sat next to me and inclined her head to the side while she looked at the door. “Is this some artsy thing?”
I snorted, glad to have a distraction. “Nah, just a good place to think.” I tipped back on my elbows and stretched my legs out as I stared at the chandelier. “Why do rich people insist on hanging chandeliers in their houses?”
She laughed and reclined back with me. “No clue, but I’m glad I don’t have to clean that thing.”
We laid there on the floor of the foyer, staring at the chandelier and talking until a shadow passed over us.
“What the fuck are you two doing?”
Jill hopped up. “Sorry, Cade. I was keeping her company.”
“Doing what? Staring at the ceiling? And her I expect to be sprawled out on a floor, but you?”
“Hey,” I complained, not moving from my spot.
“Sometimes it’s fun to just let go. You should try it sometime. Might do that grumpy demeanor some good,” she told him.
“My grumpy demeanor is necessary.” He turned his eyes to me before saying, “Pack is loose in the kitchen, Jill. You may want to stop him before he leaves a mess.”
“Damn it,” she mumbled. “I’ll kill him if he so much as drops a crumb. I just cleaned in there.”
She was off, running to the kitchen, leaving me alone with Emerson. His eyes flicked to the door, then back to me.
“I debated it.” Guilt tainted the admission, and I wondered why I had guilt about escaping captivity.
“So you sat in front of the door?”
“Eh, I couldn’t rationalize why I wouldn’t just leave, so I sat down to contemplate my sanity until Jill came.”
His cornfield blue eyes studied me. “And what conclusion did you come to?”
Grinning, I said, “That chandeliers are overrated.”
His serious expression broke, and his laugh filled the space. I thought it might be the most perfect sound, and I didn't want him to stop laughing.
“Agreed, and I told the decorator that when I had the house built.”
Frowning, I said, “And the decorator lived to walk away?”
He gave me a crooked smile. “I never said that. But the damn thing was up, and I wasn’t about to waste money taking it down. I had fun shoving the leftover crystals into his eye sockets, though.”
My stomach lurched and his smile grew.
“That’s disgusting. Did you really do that?”
A shrug and a glint in his eyes told me I would get no confirmation.
Shit, maybe I should have run. Morally gray was easier in books.
This was real life, and this man just admitted that torturing someone was fun.
That should have been a sign I was losing my mind.
Maybe once my uncle and Greyson freed me, these confusing emotions would fade.
He stooped over me, his face coming into better view, and the thoughts quieted. My stomach settled, and my doubts stilled. No, I didn’t think anything would fade once I was free. In fact, I suspected it would worsen.
“I’m not a nice guy, Ava. I’m the monster under your bed, the stalker in your closet, the beast in the woods.”
Out of instinct, I reached my hands up and draped my fingers down his stubbled jaw. “No, you’re not my monster. I’ve seen monsters and you’re not one. Not to me, anyway.”
It was difficult to read his eyes as emotion shifted through them, landing on something close to adoring surprise.
“Why didn’t you run, Ava?”
The truth was too hard to admit. That I was falling for him against every screaming voice in my head. “I don’t know what’s happening here, Emerson, but it’s too hard to run from. If that door had been wide open, I don’t know if I would have run through it.”
A crinkle formed between his eyes. “Why?”
“Because I think we’ve both been searching for too long.”
His eyes flashed with understanding before they narrowed.
“Besides, this is like one of my books, and I’m curious to see what happens at the end.”
Shaking his head, the perplexed shifts in his features relaxed.
“Did you eat lunch?”
Lunch? Shit, how long had I been lying there? “Nope, and I guess I skipped breakfast.”
He rose and moved to stand above me, putting his hand out for me to take.
“If I’d known giving you the run of the house meant you would just stay in the foyer all day, I would have let you out of your room earlier,” he teased as he pulled me to my feet.
I rubbed out my stiff back, thinking marble wasn’t the most comfortable material.
“Well, you know me. Always surprising you.”
“Yes, you are.” We stood there, eyes locked for three breaths, before he said, “Let’s get some food. I have to leave for another meeting soon and I don’t want to find you laying in another part of the house with no food in your stomach.”
My laugh was free and as I walked through the house with him, our banter falling just as freely, I knew I’d made the right choice.
Days and nights passed, a routine developed, and I spent my nights in Emerson’s bed, my days with him when he was there.
Like a couple, but one that didn’t touch or kiss or say anything that would straddle the divide that kept those things at a distance—the true reason I was there and the train that was barreling toward us to shatter it all.
Emerson had gone to his office and told me to head to bed, but after finishing the last chapter in my book, I needed to grab another from my room.
I should have just brought the stash to his room, but leaving them seemed like it left the line delineated, and it was blurring so much that I needed that delineation.
His T-shirt hung low enough that it covered my ass and part of my thighs, so I left my jeans behind and padded through the house.
A light shone from the doorway of his office and, thinking he had finished his call, I walked toward it.
He had told me no area of the house was off limits.
I still couldn’t leave, but I hadn’t tried, and I didn’t think I would.
As I drew closer, I heard voices. Halting my step, I started to turn away, thinking he was still on his call, but I froze as the conversation grew heated.
“And what are you going to do then?” It was Pack. His raised voice surprised me.
“I don’t know,” Emerson sneered, frustration emphasizing his words.
“This has to stop. She is a pawn. Your words, Cade. A pawn to get your brother here. She has no further use.”
I swallowed back the hurt. They were words I’d told myself many times, but hearing them made them real.
“What happens if your brother doesn’t comply? What then, Cade?”
Someone slammed their fist on the desk.
“Don’t push me, Pack.”
“Push you? That’s what you need. You can’t keep her if your brother doesn’t come for her. Will you do what’s necessary now that you’ve been playing this fucked-up game with her?”
Another fist, but Pack continued, “Will you?”
“Yes,” Emerson’s growl slithered up my spine, causing the hairs on my neck to rise. “If he doesn’t come for her, then I’ll kill her.”
The words ricocheted through my head, raising every alarm I’d been ignoring.
I ran, heading straight to my room, where I slammed the door and rested my hands on my knees, trying to stop the panic attack that threatened to tear me apart.
It had all been a game. Nothing had changed.
I was still a means to an end for him. I lifted my head, trying to figure out a way to escape.
I had to, or I’d be dead in days. Even if they came for me, he still might kill me.
There was no guarantee. He’d told me he was a monster, and I had dismissed the warning.
I thought through my options. Men guarded the front door; I had no doubt of that.
The garage entrance constantly had someone in front of it, and the deck led to the beach surrounded by rocky walls.
My eyes landed on my window. I had spent the first day picking at the dried paint, but the window hadn’t opened.
Since then, I had marked the rounds of Emerson’s men, knowing their schedule. The window was my only option.
I ran to my bathroom and grabbed the tweezers Jill had brought me.
Stretching them until the metal spread, I took my new tool and dug at the window.
Adrenaline pounded through my veins, and I prayed Emerson wouldn’t come for me before I could escape.
All the while, a pressure continued to build behind my eyes and my chest ached uncomfortably.
His words had hurt as had Pack’s and to know I’d given over to some delusion that this man cared for me…
But he did. I’d heard it in his voice, the strain in his first answer to Pack.
It wasn’t enough to stop me from gouging at the dried paint like a frenzied animal. He would kill me.
Flakes covered my hands and the windowsill, and I put my tool to the side.
Pushing at the window, it gave some. I pushed and pushed, my muscles straining with the effort until, with a loud pop, it opened, sending me teetering forward until I caught my balance.
The last patrol had walked by as I’d been picking at the paint, and I had ducked to avoid notice.
I still had time to make a break for it before they returned.
If I could make it to the woods, then I would have a chance.
The window was only a short drop to the ground, but my knees groaned at the impact, my feet reminding me I had idiotically forgotten they were bare.
Too late now. I ran faster than I ever had, my sight on the woods as I wished the ache in my chest was only because my cardio routine had slipped recently.