Chapter 18 #3
“That you’ve been gone all day. That you got what you wanted and now you’ve moved on…” I couldn’t say more because it hurt for reasons I didn’t understand.
“Do you think I was fucking someone?”
I lowered my sight, nodding and hating how it looked and sounded. His hold on my neck tightened and my eyes flew to his.
“You thought I was fucking some woman at my club, so you flirted with one of my men?”
“I wasn’t flirting.”
He stepped into my space, pressing his hard body against mine.
“What does it matter, Emerson? It shouldn’t. You don’t own me, and I don’t own you. It shouldn’t matter that it meant nothing to you.”
A wounded look passed over his features.
He released my neck, his hands sliding down my arms until they locked on my wrists.
With a quick move, he pinned them above my head, the fingers of one hand holding them tight as his other dragged down my body, causing trailing goosebumps.
An exhale slipped from my lips, and he gave me a devious smirk.
“I’m disappointed, wildcat.” I sucked the breath back in as he lifted my shirt, moving over my hip and cupping my breast, rubbing my nipple through the fabric of my bra. “That you would accuse me of something I didn’t do.” A pinch to my nipple caused me to lurch into him.
“But you—”
He lowered his face to mine, dragging his stubble over my cheek and his hand back down my body. “Have several clubs to run and oversee.” He pushed my skirt up, his hand tracing my thigh until it shoved my underwear aside. “I stopped in to have a drink and do business.”
I started to respond, but his finger slid through me.
“Shit, you’re wet, sweetheart.”
I groaned, hating how easily he destroyed me with his words and touches. “Did that business include a woman?” I snapped in response.
A finger drove into me, and I cried out. “No, because I thought I had a woman here who could satisfy me. But then I come home to find her flirting with one of my men and completely soaked.”
Another finger and the motion had me chasing the pleasure they promised me.
“Are you drenched because of another man?”
“You’re an asshole,” I said, my teeth gritted.
“I never said I wasn’t.” His fingers rushed from me, and I whined like a freaking idiot. “Now be a good girl and tell me who has you so wet.”
“Damn it,” I grumbled. “You do.”
“Good girl,” he murmured in my ear before his fingers drove back into me. “Tell me who owns you, Ava.”
“Nobody owns me,” I said, trying to think straight when all I wanted to do was come.
His fingers freed from me and circled my clit, putting pressure on just the right spot so my body became his to command.
“Do you want me to claim you, wildcat?” Fingers filled me again and my legs trembled. “To own you?”
It went against everything I was, but every part of me screamed yes. That I wanted to be his and only his. That this was so much more than some confusion about how our relationship had started.
“Tell me what you want, Ava.” He drew his fingers from me and grabbed my chin with them. “Tell me you want that, and I will protect you from every demon out there and claim you as mine.”
“And if I don’t?” I searched his eyes, seeing the emotion behind them, the words he wasn’t saying.
“Then I’ll walk away now. Lock you back in your room and never touch you or speak to you again. Send you home when I have what I need.”
He dropped his hand and lowered his head, licking my chin where moisture still sat. His hand wrapped around my waist and pulled me into his firmness. “Tell me.” There was a desperation to his demand, a pained sound.
His hand caressed my ass, then pushed my skirt over my hips until his fingers settled between my legs again.
What did I want? To run like I always did, to pretend this was nothing, that he hadn’t already left a brand on me? To deny that his touches were all I would ever crave if I said no.
His fingers drove back into me as his mouth draped over my cheek. I was tired of running, tired of searching, and to pretend my search hadn’t led me to him would leave me empty.
“Tell me, wildcat. Who owns you?” he demanded as he kissed my neck.
My body trembled from the building climax and the revelation that I was about to voice.
“You do,” I breathed just as I crumbled.
My orgasm hit me like a rogue wave that pulled me under and drowned me.
A cry tore from me, but he silenced it with a kiss that destroyed me to my core.
I was still convulsing, coming down from my bliss, when he removed his fingers.
He lifted me and filled me, sending the residual bursts of my climax riveting through me.
His mouth devoured mine as I clutched to his back and squeezed my legs around him. Scratching at him, I said, “But only if you’re mine Emerson Tides,” between kisses. “Mine to own and mine to claim.”
He pulled back, his blue eyes sparkling amid the lust that darkened them. “Are you claiming me, wildcat?”
I bunched his shirt in my fist and yanked his mouth back to mine. Nipping his lip, I said, “Yes.”
“Fuck.” He kissed me so hard it stole the breath from me. “Done.”
Lost in the heat, the intensity of the inferno that engulfed us, I didn’t think about the condoms that had been so prominent the night before.
I was sure he had one in his wallet like just about every man I’d ever slept with, but if he did, it was forgotten.
Only the consuming desire that constricted my thinking existed alongside the pleasure that was assailing me in electric currents.
He fumbled with my bra, then ripped it as if it were nothing more than a flimsy piece of paper.
And I did the same to his shirt, spraying buttons across the floor, their tiny pops as they hit the floor lost beneath my moans and his growls.
Flesh to flesh, I pulled him as close as our bodies would allow, forcing him deeper in me with my heels.
A second climax sat in my periphery, rising with each twist of my nipple between his fingers, every bite to my neck, and every thrust he gave me.
It grew and grew until I could deny its presence no more and it leaped, attacking me with such fervor that my scream reverberated through the room.
Emerson came with a roar that eclipsed my scream, his body going tense as he exploded in me.
I turned my head, our mouths meeting and locking in a kiss that sent the last vestibules of my resistance to tatters.
I could no longer deny what this man did to me, what we were together, how perfectly our disfigured pieces fit.
He pushed into me two more times, his hand so tangled in my hair that he gave up on removing it and lowered his forehead to mine. Heaving breaths made it challenging to talk, so I simply clung to him with my legs, my bottom supported by his one hand, my body by the wall.
When I could finally get air to enter my lungs in more than ragged gulps, I draped my hands up his back and weaved them into his hair.
“That’s a first,” I said, letting my head fall back.
“Never been fucked against a wall?” he said, and I looked back at him to see his sly grin.
“No, I’ve had plenty of that.”
His smile shifted quickly to a frown, his hold on my hair more a tug now. “When I say you’re mine, Ava, that means no mention of another man touching you.”
“Mmm, well, that goes both ways, Mr. Tides.” He grimaced at the name. “I guess you didn’t fuck the memory of them from me completely, so we might need to do that a few more times.”
This time, the smile spread to light his features. He kissed me and lowered my body, slipping from me and only then glancing down. “Shit, that’s what you meant. Yeah, that’s a first in a very long time.” His eyes shot back to me. “Please tell me you’re on some kind of birth control.”
I shook my head.
“Damn.” His mood switched like the flick of a light switch, and he had his pants zipped and his phone out before I could stop him. “I’ll get something for you to take. A pre—”
“Emerson, stop.” I pushed his phone down, receiving a nasty glare in response.
“I don’t need birth control. I can’t have children.”
He stared at me, something like suspicion in his eyes.
“I’m serious.” I’d never shared the truth, continued to insist any man use protection to protect myself from whatever they might unknowingly share with me. But no one but my uncle knew the extent of my injuries.
I pulled my skirt down and fixed the underwear he hadn’t bothered to remove, giving him a curious look as I adjusted it.
“I was caught up in the moment.” He ran his hands through his hair, looking suddenly unsure of himself. “I’ve never let that happen before.”
“Let me clean up and I’ll explain.” His cum was slowly leaking out of me, and the thought had those obnoxious butterflies cascading through my belly again.
He picked me up and sat me on the counter just as I walked away. “Talk before I make a phone call and get you medicine.”
“So worried about getting me pregnant?” I asked.
His expression tightened, and he moved to stand between my legs. He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ears and said, “Not as worried as I should be, but I don’t want children Ava and you and I…we don’t know what this is between us.”
“You don’t want children?”
“No. It’s one reason I’ve never even entertained getting serious with someone. I don’t live that kind of life, and kids annoy the shit out of me.”
Inclining my head to the side, I smiled. “Is it odd that we’re having the kid conversation already?”
He snorted, the tension fading from his jawline. “Probably. Now tell me why I shouldn’t worry that my cum is dripping out of you right now.” He shook his head and rubbed his temple. “I don’t make mistakes, Ava. But every time I turn around now, it’s another mistake.”
I placed my hand over his and lowered it. “I wasn’t ready for this conversation either, Emerson. It’s not something I readily share, like anything in my past.”
His eyes darted to mine, suddenly serious.
Taking a deep breath, I said, “When my stepfather beat me, he would hit my stomach and pelvis. It was a place that guaranteed no one would see the bruises. It was a regular occurrence. The worst beating was the night he locked me in the basement for those endless days. I knew something was wrong. I was bleeding even though my period wasn’t due for two more weeks.
The pain was likely a blessing because I blacked out for some of the time.
” He brushed his fingers over my cheek, making a path down my arm.
It wasn’t sexual, but more reassuring. Telling me it was okay to continue, to give him my burden to carry.
That was the thing about Emerson Tides. He looked like the biggest bad boy, and he was, but there was a side to him that was sweet and caring.
Maybe it was a part of him he didn’t let others see.
One that was special for me or because of me.
“There was so much scar tissue in my uterus they had to remove it. I can’t have children. ”
“If I could dig his body up and kill him again, I would,” he said, his eyes darkening.
“Well, you can’t, and it was a long time ago. Therapy and meds, remember.” Although part of me was certain Emerson Tides had become another form of therapy.
“So,” he started, his brow quirking as he tilted his head, “all those condoms last night and I didn’t need them?”
Chuckling, I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I always insist on protection, so yes, you needed them.” I had until today when my hormones had raged in rebellion and blinded me to the fact that there was no condom separating us. Goosebumps pebbled on my skin, and he rubbed his finger over them.
Those blue eyes, so calculating and perceptive, flitted to mine. Letting my fingers trace his jawline, I said, “What is this, Emerson?”
The muscle in his jaw twitched. “I don’t know but I do know I will kill anyone who even looks at you, that I couldn’t get you off my mind all day, and that I plan to fuck you bare repeatedly tonight so I can feel you coming on my cock again.”
I gave him a questioning look. “Was that a pickup line? Because if it was, you’re no longer allowed to use that on anyone but me because it’s entirely too hot.”
He threw his head back and laughed before he pulled me in for a kiss. “Have you eaten dinner?”
A glance out the window told me it had gotten dark without me even knowing it.
“Nope. Although I raided your boring pantry earlier and had half a sandwich while talking to that poor guy you just scarred for life.”
His eyes scrunched. “My men are used to scars and he should have known better. Too many damn new guys.”
“To replace the ones who are being recruited?”
“Yeah.” He kissed my nose. “No more business talk. I’m making you dinner and you’re going to sit here and talk to me.”
A flush of warmth filled my chest, and I pulled him in for another kiss. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Anything, as long as I get to hear your voice.”
His words struck at the defenses I’d been fighting to maintain, sending them tumbling into the caverns of my being.
It didn’t matter how we had started, who he was, what his past or my past held.
I was free-falling with no possibility of stopping and, with every small thing Emerson Tides did, no desire to stop myself.