Chapter 31
THIRTY-ONE
Carter
As much as I hate to see her go, I’m glad. She doesn’t need to be here for this.
Something about the clicking of the door unlocks the tension that’s been holding me in place and keeping me quiet. “Now, will you listen to me for a minute?” I ask.
“What did you just say to me?” Dad snaps back, like I lapsed into another language. “Did you really have the audacity to tell me to listen to you for a minute? Like you have any place to tell me a damn thing? I don’t wanna hear a word you have to say.”
“You don’t have the full story.”
He throws his hands into the air, backing away while laughing bitterly. He got a nice tan in Thailand. It’s a shame he didn’t stay a little longer. “Oh, there’s more to the story? Well, excuse me if I don’t want to hear it, because what I know so far sickens me. Who are you? Who have I raised? Because I don’t recognize you right now, Son,” he concludes with heavy sorrow in his voice.
“Dad, I’m?—”
He’s still on a roll. “The Carter I thought I knew wouldn’t take advantage of a girl like you took advantage of Elliana, much less his stepsister—and I don’t give two solid fucks how you felt about her coming here to live with us or becoming part of our family,” he adds. “So don’t even start with that shit, you devious, dishonest little prick.”
And there I was, thinking I was old enough to be beyond reacting to having my ass handed to me by my dad. I’m a grown man, right? Not a sniveling little child.
But I’ve never seen him like this. I’ve never heard him talk to me or anyone with so much hatred. When he tells me he doesn’t know who I am, I believe him. Because he’s looking at me like I’m a stranger.
And there’s only one thing I can say once he goes silent, except for his ragged breathing. “I know.”
“Oh, you know?” He really does not have any faith in me, judging by his brutal laughter. “So that’s how you’re going to defend yourself? By making me believe no matter what I say, it’s not any worse than the way you feel? Because that is not going to work.”
“That’s not what I’m trying to do, Dad.” Fuck, I am so tired. I guess that’s what happens when your whole life gets flipped on its head out of nowhere, with no warning at all.
I’m tired enough that I have to sit down, so I do, nudging the shopping bags aside with my foot. We were having such a good day. It was going to get so much better.
“So, what are you trying to do?” he barks. “Because I shit you not, Son, I am about thirty seconds away from kicking your ass like it’s never been kicked. You think you hurt that kid you landed in the hospital? You have no idea.”
Staring down at my folded hands, I murmur, “I know what I did was wrong. And to be honest with you, I don’t know how I could’ve done it. I was stupid and selfish and cruel, but I’ve been doing everything I can think of to make it up to her. I’m serious,” I tell him when he scoffs. “I’ve been trying to help her.”
“By breaking someone’s jaw?”
“By convincing her to get into a pool for the first time since a bunch of kids tried to drown her back in high school,” I snap, because I’ve had enough of him making assumptions. I’m probably not doing myself any favors, but who cares at this point? Everything is already fucked. “Or did Irene never tell you about that? When Elliana came home one night in tears, hysterical, because she thought she was going to die? Ever since then, she’s been afraid—and not just of swimming. That’s why she dresses like she does, that’s why she acts like she’s afraid all the time. But I got her in the pool.”
His forehead creases. “She never told me about that.”
Oh, big shock. I’m sure she doesn’t even remember. “And do you see all this?” I wave a hand over the bags. “I took her shopping today, because she was going to go to school in one of those sweaters when it’s over ninety degrees. I convinced her to get clothes she would feel more comfortable in. I want to help make her life easier and better than it’s been.”
“It’s the least you can do,” he mutters.
“I know. It is the very least I can do. And it’s not like I think I’ve made up for anything, because I know I haven’t. What I did, you can’t make up for in a week. But I want to keep working on it,” I conclude, making him stare me straight in the eye. It’s the simplest, true thing I know.
His jaw is still tight and his eyes narrow when he folds his arms. “And how does she feel about this?”
“I mean, it was hard as hell to convince her to go shopping today—on your card,” I add, because I don’t want him getting on my ass about that, too. “I thought you wouldn’t mind, because it means she’s not going to get heat stroke in her clothes.”
“Of course.” He waves a hand. “Whatever she needs.”
“She didn’t want to do it, but she ended up having a good time. She was feeling really good about herself. She was happy. Have you seen her looking happy since she moved in?”
“This does not absolve you,” he growls.
“I didn’t think it would. I’m just saying, I’m working really hard on making up for what I did. There’s no excuse. I can’t defend myself. I can only try to make up for it, because I really want to.”
He looks about as surprised as I feel. Hell, I wasn’t planning on saying any of that. I didn’t even know I was thinking it. But now that it’s out in the open, I feel how true it is. All I want now is to make her life a little better every day. One day at a time, until she’s everything I know she can be. I want her to give herself a chance.
Finally, Dad scrubs his hands over his face. “But you still sent those photos out.”
“I didn’t, I swear to God. It was somebody else—I was over at Kellan’s. I’ll give you the names of the people who were there, and they’ll tell you that one of the girls took my phone and went through it, probably because I told her off since she already bullied Elliana before you ever left for your honeymoon. I told her to get lost, and she was pissed. I would never have sent those pictures around to anybody. It’s bad enough I took them.”
“It’s terrible that you took them.”
“I know, Dad. Believe me. I know.”
He takes a deep breath before he starts to pace in front of the coffee table that sits between us. “Tell me one thing. Tell me you weren’t getting ready to hurt her when we walked in.”
My skin is crawling with humiliation. Talk about bad timing. But I feel worse for her. She looked like she wanted to stop breathing. “I was not getting ready to hurt her,” I murmur. “I will never hurt her again.”
He’s still staring at me like he’s processing that when the front door opens. My heart lodges in my throat, and I jump to my feet, expecting to see Elliana again. I just want to ask if she forgives me. I’ll beg if I have to.
But instead of two people walking in, there’s only one. Irene runs her hands under her eyes, glaring at me. “I do not even know what to say to you, Carter.” She goes to Dad, holding her arms out, wrapping them around his waist. “I’ve never seen her that upset. My poor baby. She doesn’t deserve this.”
“Where is she?” Dad looks over her shoulder, through the doorway leading out to the entry.
She pulls her head back, looking up at him. “I took her to a hotel. Best Western down the road. She needs some alone time.”
My jaw is practically on the floor. “You left her alone?” I can’t believe it. She comes in here, acting all tearful and heartbroken, but she left Elliana by herself?
“Excuse me.” Her eyes are gleaming when she turns my way. Like she was just waiting for an excuse. “Last I checked, young man, you are in no position to question anything I do. Some kind of sick pervert who would take advantage of an innocent girl like my Elliana. I can’t believe you would ruin our happy family like this.”
“Wait a second.” Dad holds up a hand like he’s calling for silence, staring at her the way I’ve been. “You left her? I thought the point was to support her. So she knows she’s not alone.”
When her face crumbles, I know what’s coming. She is almost disappointingly predictable. “Why are you getting mad at me?” she whines, and before long, tears fill her eyes. Right on schedule. “I am not the bad guy here! It’s my daughter who?—”
“Your daughter, who you dumped at a hotel when you supposedly care so much about her,” I mutter. This bitch.
Her gasp is ridiculously theatrical. “Are you going to let him get away with this?” she demands, staring at Dad. “Are you going to let him talk to me that way after what he’s done?”
“You shouldn’t have left her there,” Dad murmurs as his face falls. “You really shouldn’t have.”
“Unbelievable! He’s already turned you against me!” With a broken sob, she stomps her way out of the room. Her dramatic weeping echoes as she runs up the stairs. A door slams up there, and Dad sighs.
Before I can say anything—really, I don’t know what to say except to tell him I’m sorry he married who he did—he lets out a soft groan. “You heard her. The Best Western down the road. Somebody should go and be with her, so she knows she’s not alone. She’s already been alone long enough.”
I know we haven’t solved anything. This isn’t a family sitcom where problems are wrapped up in twenty-two minutes plus commercials. But for now, it’s enough that he’s willing to set everything aside so I can be with Elliana, which is the only place I want to be.
It only takes a few minutes to get there, and while I drive, I call her. “I’m on my way over to see you,” I tell her voicemail, since she’s not answering. “We’re gonna get through this. Don’t worry about anything.”
Why didn’t she answer? I hope she’s not too emotional. Who knows what Irene might’ve said? I shudder to think—I wouldn’t put anything past her.
I’m barely through the sliding doors and in the lobby before I bark, “I’m looking for my stepsister. I’m guessing she would’ve used my dad’s credit card to reserve a room. Elliana Montego is her name, but my dad is?—”
“I know your father is Chief Wilder,” the middle-aged bald man behind the counter tells me.
“Please, can you tell me which room she’s in? He sent me over here to see her.” I mean, it’s kind of true.
“We don’t normally give away information about our guests, but she’s in room 215.” He points me toward the elevator at the end of the lobby, and I take it up one floor, following the signs to find her room. It’s dead quiet up here, without anyone out in the hall. The perfect place for Irene to dump the daughter she doesn’t give a shit about.
“It’s me.” I knock on the door once I reach the room, listening for anything coming from the other side. “Let me in. We’ll figure this out together.”
When the lock clicks and the door starts to open, a wave of relief like nothing I’ve ever felt washes over me and almost takes my knees out. She’s tear-stained, red-faced, but she’s here in front of me. Close enough to touch.
So I do. She’s in my arms before the door is closed behind me. With my hand on the back of her head, I press my lips against her temple. “I am so sorry. For everything.”
“What are we going to do?” She shudders in a silent sob that comes close to crushing my heart.
“For one thing, I’m staying here with you while we work this out.” Kissing her head again, I pull back a little, brushing hair away from her forehead and tucking it behind her ears. She looks so broken. I would do anything to change that. “You don’t ever have to be alone again. Believe me. I am with you always now.”
“How can you say that?” A tear rolls down her cheek, and I catch it with my thumb before she closes her eyes. “Your dad is so mad. I’m surprised he even let you out of the house.”
“I’ll handle him. Don’t worry about that. He’s the one who wanted me to come over here to make sure you’re all right.” With a sigh, I add, “I can’t believe she left you here.”
“You can’t? I can,” she mutters.
“That’s fine. I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere.” I can’t help but kiss her, like that will prove I mean every word. Her lips are salty, thanks to the tears that have coated her face—the bed is a little messed up, pillows dented, like she was lying there in tears before I showed up.
Every kiss leads to one more, then another, until I’ve backed her further into the room, and we’re sitting together on the bed. It’s so much simpler when it’s just this, just us. Nobody else getting in the way, telling us what we can and can’t do.
“I am so sorry for everything I’ve done.” As much as I don’t want to stop kissing her, she needs to hear this, but my hands never stop roaming her arms, shoulders, face. I need the connection. “There are no excuses for what I did. I’m so sorry for being who I was, but you’ve changed me. I know it sounds stupid and simple, and maybe you don’t believe it’s that easy for someone to change, but I’m telling you the only truth I know. You have changed me, and I never want to be the person I was ever again.”
Her bloodshot, shining eyes search my face. “I know you’re different now. You’ve shown me that.”
“And I’m going to keep changing for the better. That’s all I want, because that’s the only way I will deserve you.”
Her throat works as she swallows hard. “What are you saying?” she whispers—the sound is so faint, I can barely hear it.
It pours out of me all at once, like a flood of words. “I’m saying I love you. I didn’t know it for sure until back there at the house. I love you. I want to protect you. I want to guard you from anything that might hurt. I want to shield you from everything.”
I cup her cheek, and whisper, “I want to worship you, because that’s what you deserve. Every day for the rest of your life. You will never have to wonder if you’re loved, if you’re deserving, because I am going to prove it to you starting the minute I wake up. You have my word on that. I will do anything it takes, because you are all I want. I love you. I can’t live without you.”
“This is so much.” She closes her eyes, and two fresh tears roll down her cheeks. “You know it’s not that easy. We’re not just two regular people. We’re family now.”
“Do I look like I give a shit about that? Do you care?”
“No,” she admits, shrugging once she opens her eyes again. “It doesn’t matter to me.”
“And I couldn’t care less, so what difference does that make? Who cares what the world thinks? It’s not like we were raised together. I don’t care about any of that.”
Staring deep into her eyes, I whisper, “All I care about is you. Us. I care about what you need and how I can give it to you.”
“I…” She’s trembling, her eyes welling up again. “I… I love you, too. And I forgive you for what you did. I know it wasn’t even about me, really. And I know you want to make up for it. I know you’ve made me feel better about myself than anybody ever has—nobody else has even bothered trying—I was finally starting to feel like there was hope for me. Because of you.” The softest, most beautiful smile lights up her face, even though there are still tears trickling down her cheeks. “And I have to ask myself, how much better can I get? How much better can you make me feel?”
I will show her right now.
A wave of pure love sweeps me up, makes me take her face in my hands to kiss her softly, tenderly, but with all the fire that burns for her in my heart. There is nothing like the feeling of her melting against me, and all it takes is a moan from her throat to unlock everything I feel inside. All of the heat, all of the craving, all the hunger.
Slowly, I run my hands over her skin, soaking in its softness, worshiping her with every touch. Pressing my lips to her jaw, her throat, letting myself sink into the pleasure of tasting her, hearing her moan, the feel of her hands running through my hair, then over my shoulders as I lay her back and stretch out on top of her.
“I do love you,” she whispers, draping a leg over my hip, pulling me closer between her legs. “Please, don’t ever hurt me.”
I have to stop kissing every inch of her long enough to lift my head and make sure we’re eye-to-eye when I reply, “Never again. You can trust me with your heart. I promise.”
Then I go back to where I left off, exploring her smooth thighs with one hand, pulling the top of her dress down with the other. She arches her back, gasping, and it’s magic. The way she gives herself over to pleasure like that. Letting herself get swept up the way I am, trusting me enough to give me her body.
We can’t pick up where we left off, because everything’s different now. Not even an hour later, we’re in a different place. I’m not going to bend her over the coffee table this time. I would rather kneel between her open thighs, slowly peel her panties down over her ankles, then feast on her like a starving beggar.
“Oh! Oh, god!” Right away, her hands find the back of my head and hold me in place so my tongue can work her swollen, wet slit. “Shit, that feels so good… don’t stop…”
I won’t. Not until she comes hard enough to drown me. She’s already halfway there, working her hips, grinding against my face. Opening my eyes, I watch her body move like a wave, undulating, and knowing I’m the reason why is better than any drug, any booze, anything I can imagine. This is what I want, to taste her on my tongue and hear her lose herself. I want it every day, always.
Just like I want her thighs to close around my head when she comes, blocking out everything but the pounding of my heartbeat in my ears. Her hips lift once, twice, before she falls back against the bed and goes limp. “Fuck, Carter…” she moans, gasping for breath.
“So sweet,” I whisper, lapping up her juices, spreading her lips to catch every drop of what flowed from her core and keeps flowing with every twitch of her muscles. She shivers at the touch, but that doesn’t stop me from claiming every ounce of her.
And it’s still not enough. Even when she sits up and pulls her dress over her head, it’s not enough. When she lies back again with her arms reaching for me so she can take me inside her, it’s not enough.
I don’t think it ever will be. Just like I can never make her happy enough. But I’m going to try.
I can’t get out of my clothes fast enough. Once I’m finished, I lower myself over her so her hands can run over me. Her touch is electric, making it hard to be gentle as I guide my dripping head to her wet, pulsing pussy. Our eyes lock when I find her quivering hole—and when I push past it, filling her up, she arches her back and moans my name. “Carter…”
Between that and the way she is still fluttering inside, I have to fight to hold onto my control. She moves with me, legs locked around my back, her arms around my shoulders, her eyes never leaving mine.
It’s almost scary, the way I would swear she’s staring straight into my soul as I move inside her, taking her in deep, slow strokes because I don’t want this to end. Not ever. I’ve never felt anything like it and might not ever again, so I want it to go on forever. The two of us in this room, in this bed, making something together. Us, the way it’s meant to be. I understand that now. She was always supposed to be mine.
We’re not fucking. We’re making love. Something in my soul sings, and I almost want to laugh even as she starts to get tighter around me, jerking her hips to match my strokes, pulling me deeper, making it harder to hold on. “Come with me,” she begs, clutching me tighter, whimpering louder the closer she gets.
“Give it to me,” I whisper before brushing my mouth against hers, savoring every inch of her, every sound she makes. “Come for me.”
“I am… I am… Carter!” And then she does, clutching tight around me for a second before the fluttering starts.
Fuck, it’s incredible, it’s too much. I have to give in. I’m barely out of her in time to spill my cum across her inner thigh, marking her, claiming her as mine. This is it. She is mine forever.
And I’m hers.
All we have to do now is break the news to the rest of the world.
When she opens her eyes and looks up at me, wearing a soft, tender smile, I know we can do it.