Chapter 41 #2
It's been a few months since I freed her, and it hasn't gotten any easier for me. I know she will have to go on with her life eventually, and once she ends up with some random dude, I will lose my mind.
That's why I moved to the other side of the ocean. I need to keep my shit together. The only people who accompanied me on this trip were Yara, my medical team, and my brother Joey.
I didn't need an army to hang with me out here on the island.
Yara was still trying to get me to fuck her brains out without success.
I was not interested. I haven't played since my time with Kitlyn.
I toyed with the idea of paying one of the whores I interacted with a while back before I left, to allow me to use and abuse her as I wanted, but I didn't go through with it.
It wasn't just the sexual part I needed. It was the calmness I felt after a session with my pet. She was the only woman who could bring me some peace, and that's what I fucking missed the most.
She was also the only woman I wanted to care for and coddle after a session, or at all, for that matter. I never bothered with aftercare with any women who came and went. I whipped them, fucked them, and left them.
Yara has a bedroom on my estate, but she seems to show up wherever I happen to be. The place is very vast, but she still manages to practically stick her head up my ass every opportunity she gets.
It doesn't help that she wears skimpy fucking bikinis around me all the time, either. Although she isn't my type, I am still a man, for fuck’s sake, and not having gotten my rocks off with a woman in quite some time was making it more difficult for me to resist her little antics.
She was beautiful, but I never thought of her sexually. I went to my office and opened the camera icon to my pet's house. I hadn’t checked on her for a few days, allowing myself some space from my goddamn obsession.
She removed the tracker from her arm, but the one in her neck remained. I stared at the tracking app, clenching my fists, not liking what I saw.
She wasn't home tonight. She was at one of the sleazy clubs she promised she would never set foot in again!
Goddammit! It's only 4:30, for Christ’s sake, and she's already there. I rubbed my head, feeling a dull pain between my eyes and temples settling in.
I was in a relatively good mental state for the last few months, thinking she would keep up her end of the bargain, but she broke that promise tonight.
This is a whole game-changer now. I could feel the anger eating my insides like battery acid. My blood pressure shot up at the thought of her disobeying me. It made my skin crawl.
I honestly don't know what the fuck I was thinking.
Sometimes, I wish I had never let her go.
She would have gotten used to her lot in life eventually, but I grew a fucking conscience.
It didn't help that I was incredibly fucked in the head because of what my father did to my mom, and I did.
not. want. my pet to feel like my mother did.
The memory of my mother and the way she died by my father's hand still bother me to this day. I usually shove it in the back of my mind, but the flashbacks pop up occasionally, like an unwanted illness.
I never showed my emotions to the outside world or anyone. I kept everything bottled up inside, and this is why I needed violence to release the pain and anger gripping my insides like a vice, squeezing my organs every single day. I dialed Jacob's cell. He picked up on the first ring.
"Hey, boss, what can I do for you?"
My voice was low and angry.
"I need you to keep an eye on Kit. Go to Barney's club in Providence. She is in there doing stuff she isn’t supposed to engage in. I just need a report on who she leaves with, plus I need you to make sure none of the traffickers are around the establishment tonight."
Jacob laughed, making me clench my fists in anger.
“I knew you wouldn't be able to stop watching her. You are a sick man with a sick obsession, my friend. I will take her tonight if you want me to. I can have her delivered to your door by midnight. It's as easy as that."
I pinched the bridge of my nose; my head started pounding. "As fucking wonderful as that sounds, I gave her my word. I won't kidnap her again. I worry about her safety in that seedy part of town."
I drew another deep breath, trying to calm myself.
My attitude was shitty, but I didn’t give a flying fuck.
"I can see her on the cameras when she arrives back at her place, but I obviously can't see what the fuck she is doing in the club, so you are going to be my eyes and ears for me tonight. Give me the report when you get there."
Jacob laughed again.
"You need to get laid, boss. You're fucking all tense and shit. I'll get that report to you within an hour."
I sighed, feeling annoyed as hell.
"Okay, thanks."
I disconnected the call and threw the phone across the room, putting a hole in the wall.
I was fucking angry all over again because of this goddamn girl!
! I needed to release some of this aggression.
She is probably going to end up fucking someone tonight, and that made me immensely upset.
I was trying to keep my shit under control, but I was having a tough time accomplishing that small goal.
Jacob's right. I need to get laid, which includes a D's session. It's time to get this fucking chick out of my mind before I go nuts. I have felt like a love-sick loser these past four months, and I am tired of it.
She is doing her own thing, not listening to my orders. I was hoping she might have wanted to return. I thought she might have attempted to visit me in Pascoag, but that never happened.
Who the fuck was I kidding?
The girl hates me now that she has spent time away from my controlling ass. Ahhh! I don't know what the hell I was thinking. She has obviously moved on past our little time together; now it's time I did the same.
I hated that I obsessed over her every day. I'm pissed that she has this fucking hold on me. I need to find a chick to play with, but there isn't anyone in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.