Chapter 28 – COSIMA
Chapter
Twenty-Eight
COSIMA
I press myself against the rough bark of the tree trunk, my heart hammering in my chest. The Knight watches me with those intense glowing eyes, his massive frame rigid with tension.
I expect him to lunge at any moment, to pin me down and take what he wants like every other alpha I've ever known except for Azarel. And I guess Nikolai, as loathe as I am to give him credit for having even a shred of decency.
But he doesn't move.
He just stares.
When I make eye contact with him, he snarls low in his chest and raises his huge hands—both the metal and the organic one—but still stares at me through his fingers, growling dangerously the entire time.
I avert my gaze and he goes quiet, his hands slowly lowering. A quick glance back at his face and the snarling starts up again. His hands move up, too. Why doesn't he just turn away? Is it because he doesn't want to let me out of his sight, even for a moment?
Whatever's going on, it's clear he does not like it when I look at him.
That's fine. I can respect that. It's easy enough to look at everything else.
He may be terrifying, but he's fucking jacked , his strong muscles tense beneath his scarred skin.
I've never seen a set of eight pack abs in person before, but here we are.
If he's used to wearing a mask all the time, maybe I can figure out how to replace the half-broken one. There have to be more aesthetic masks than a crude metal slab with eye holes in it. Maybe something that makes him look more like his namesake. Obviously not right now, but later.
Am I really thinking about later ?
What the hell am I going to do, leash him and lead him back to Azarel?
I'm sure he would love that. " Oh, hi, Az, long time no see!
Remember when you said I can't have one of those adorable mutated three-headed puppies?
Well, I have great news! I'm never going to ask again because now I have a giant mutated alpha instead! And he'll even eat our enemies! "
Nope. Not happening.
But this isn't just any giant mutated alpha. He's the giant mutated alpha I've had the same damn dream about since I can remember.
Yeah. I really have lost it.
But he's clearly affected by me, too. The low growl continuously rumbling from him—just not the same as the snarling one he lets out when I look at his face—tells me that much. And yet he stays perfectly still, as if afraid any movement might shatter this fragile moment between us.
Even though he's tense and growling, the longer I study him, the more certain I become that he isn't going to attack me.
Which allows me to focus on an entirely different problem.
My heat is building, becoming impossible to ignore. And even though we're in the middle of nowhere, my scent could attract other alphas for miles around. Never mind the physical distress.
I'm not safe here.
Being in full-blown heat out here could prove deadly. And even if my legs weren't going to jelly and I could go off to find something, I'm not fucking myself with a splintery stick to try to take the edge off.
"Well," I mutter dryly, "this is awkward, isn't it?"
I find myself moving toward him before I fully realize what I'm doing. My hands shake slightly as I press them against his massive chest. The Knight goes completely still. Even his breathing stops.
Is he afraid of me?
Or afraid he's going to scare me?
I can't help but laugh softly at the absurdity of it. This enormous killing machine, terrified of a tiny omega's touch.
"It's okay," I murmur, running my hands over the planes of his chest. "I just want to try something."
A low sound rumbles through him, vibrating beneath my palms. The purr is such a normal alpha response that it catches me off guard. I let my hands drift lower, and the purr intensifies.
"Maybe we can help each other," I whisper, taking a deep breath as I risk a glance up at his mangled face. He snarls again. I stop and look down.
Take a deep breath, Cosima.
Perhaps this isn't just about getting through my heat. Maybe I can tame this beast, turn him from the nightmare that's haunted me into something... else. Something that devours me in an entirely different way.
He hasn't actually done anything to me. He hasn't attacked me, at least not outside my nightmares. And it isn't his fault he's terrifying. He can't help being what he is or the way he looks.
Yeah. We're doing this.
I tell myself it's because I just need to get out of my damn heat, but I know the truth. The truth is… I want this. I want him. Hell, I'd rather it be him than Nikolai. At least the Knight doesn't run his mouth.
"You need to be gentle, though," I tell him warily. "And let me take the lead. Do you understand?"
He just stares at me, as inscrutable as ever.
Then, slowly but clearly, he nods.
My hands tremble slightly as I run them over the Knight's scarred chest, marveling at the contrast between smooth—albeit scarred—skin and the jagged metal that forms the foundation for his mechanical arm.
Every inch of him is a testament to the cruelty he's endured.
But beneath it all, I feel the steady thrum of his heartbeat.
A reminder that despite everything, he's still human.
I let my fingers trail lower, tracing the defined muscles of his abdomen and going lower, lower. Even through the tattered remains of his gray pants, heat radiates from his skin. My breath catches in my throat as my hand brushes against something substantial.
Oh.
Oh .
I freeze, my eyes widening as I realize just how... proportionate the Knight is.
Who am I kidding? His cock is like a fucking tree trunk. My fingers twitch involuntarily, and I have to resist the urge to attempt to wrap my hand around him fully to see if it's even possible. I sincerely doubt it.
He's massive.
Intimidatingly so.
The thought sends fresh fear through me, but there's a thrilling spike of heat, too.
This is dangerous. Insanely dangerous. The omega in me is railing against the idea of allowing this alpha's massive cock anywhere near my pussy, but there's an entirely fucked up part of me that's genuinely interested.
And not just as a way of getting out of my heat.
A low growl rumbles through the Knight's chest, startling me out of my thoughts. I jerk my head up, half-expecting to see rage in those glowing blue eyes. But there's only confusion there.
And beneath that... hunger.
He's a typical alpha in that regard, at least.
He doesn't attack, though. Doesn't move at all except for the rise and fall of his broad chest. Taking that as permission to continue, considering it's not like he speaks, I slowly begin to rub him through the fabric of his gray pants.
"I'm going to make you feel good," I murmur, trying to keep my voice steady despite the way my heart is pounding.
The Knight makes a low sound somewhere between a growl and a moan. His hips buck involuntarily into my touch, seeking more friction. I almost laugh. Here he is, this terrifying creature of my nightmares, and he's reacting just like any other man would.
But he's still holding back.
Afraid to hurt me.
Afraid to touch me.
"That's it," I purr, using my free hand to gently push him back against the trunk of the tree holding up our shelter. "Just relax."
He goes willingly, allowing me to maneuver his massive frame. He's so tense, like he can't believe what's happening. That makes two of us. If someone had told me yesterday that I'd be jerking off the monster from my nightmares, I'd have laughed in their face.
But here we are.
My hands tremble as I reach for the waistband of the Knight's pants. Part of me still can't believe I'm doing this. But my heat is in full force now, overriding any remaining hesitation.
My fingers fumble with the worn fabric of his pants as I tug them down his hips. His cock springs free, and I can't help the small gasp that escapes my lips.
I knew he was big—I could feel it through his clothes—but seeing his cock is something else entirely. His massive knot is already swollen at the base, and I realize with equal parts awe and hesitation that I would need both hands just to wrap around it completely. His shaft, too.
And I guess today is the day of giving in to all my intrusive thoughts, because I actually fucking do it.
I wrap both hands around the Knight's shaft.
He gives a low, hungry growl even as the confusion in those blue eyes intensifies.
My fingers barely meet as I encircle his girth.
The heat radiating from him is incredible, like he has hot coals burning in his ribcage instead of the beating heart I just felt moments before.
Curious, I trace the prominent vein along the underside, following its path up to the crown. Precome glistens at the tip, and as my fingers brush against it, the Knight's entire body jerks. A strangled growl rumbles from his chest, his metal claws digging furrows into the earth.
He's still trying not to lose control, I realize with a start. Even now, with me touching him so intimately, he's holding himself back. It's oddly endearing, in a terrifying sort of way.
My mouth waters as I stare at his cock, my heat raging through me with renewed intensity. Before I can talk myself out of it, I lean forward and flick my tongue against the tip, tasting him.
The flavor of him explodes across my tongue, salty and musky. A fresh surge of slick pools between my thighs and I find myself licking again, eager for more.
He bucks his hips, a guttural moan tearing from his throat. His metal claws dig deeper into the ground, tearing up chunks of earth and grass.
"Shh," I murmur, placing a steadying hand on his thigh. "Hold still."
To my surprise, he obeys, though I can see the tension thrumming through his massive frame. He's trembling with the effort of restraining himself.