Chapter 31 – NIKOLAI #2
"Oh, for fuck's sake," the doctor mutters. " Again ?"
I have to bite back a laugh as I realize what's happening.
Raven is putting on quite the show, pretending to go into heat.
Or rather, his version of it. Just like his weakness to alpha commands, his former madame's brainwashing had some fucked up side effects.
His ruts manifest more like an omega's heat than a typical alpha's rut.
Looks like that hasn't changed.
"Please," Raven whimpers, and there's that unmistakable whine in his voice. It's not quite the same as an omega's whine, but it pulls at my chest in an unmistakable way all the same. "Can't you give me something? Anything to take the edge off?"
The doctor shifts uncomfortably. "Give me a minute?—"
"It hurts ," Raven cuts him off with another plaintive whimper, and damn if I'd forgotten how convincing he can be.
Even knowing it's an act, I feel that old protective instinct stirring.
It's like nature's own little fuck you to balance out his susceptibility to commands—the ability to turn those instincts right back on other alphas.
It made half my men uncomfortable enough to fuck right off whenever it happened, which was a royal pain in the ass when it came to finding someone for guard duty.
The other half, well…
They knew what would happen if they touched him, much to Raven's chagrin. And they're still telling stories about the one fucker who ever tried.
The doctor glances at me, clearly torn. I keep my expression neutral, though inside I'm grudgingly impressed. Raven hasn't lost his touch.
Who's the real psychopath here?
Then Raven glances at the doctor's crotch and licks his lips with a little moan, and the doctor grabs his bag in a hurry and stands up, muttering under his breath. "I told Geo keeping him in here was a bad idea..."
I wonder if he means keeping Raven in here with me specifically, but I decide not to think about it.
"I'll be right back," the doctor says, already heading for the stairs. "Don't... just stay put."
As soon as his footsteps fade, Raven's demeanor changes completely. He straightens up, all traces of distress vanishing as he flashes me a triumphant grin.
"Still got it," he says with a wink.
I roll my eyes, but I can't quite suppress my own smirk. "You always were good at manipulating alphas' protective instincts. Though I seem to remember you being more subtle about it."
"Subtlety takes too long," he says with a dismissive wave. "And time isn't exactly on our side, is it?"
My amusement fades as reality crashes back in. He's right. Every minute we waste in here is another minute Cosima is out there alone—and with that beast hunting her.
"You really think she's still alive?" I ask before I can stop myself.
Something flickers in Raven's eyes. Pain, maybe, or fear. But his voice is steady when he answers. "I know she is. I can feel it."
"Right," I scoff. "Your mystical mate bond."
"Mock all you want," he says, lifting his chin defiantly. "But I know what I felt when I saw her. And apparently, you felt it, too."
I bare my teeth at him in a snarl. "You don't know shit about what I felt."
"Don't I?" He tilts his head, studying me with those too-perceptive eyes. "Because the old you would have been gone the moment that monster escaped. You would've cut your losses and your men and bailed, but you didn't. You stood and you fought something you couldn't possibly win against. For her."
"Don't act like you know me," I snap. "Not anymore."
Not when you're the one who left.
Before he can respond, footsteps echo from above. Raven's eyes widen and he presses a finger to his lips. "Follow my lead," he whispers. "I was just pretending you threw me into pseudoheat, by the way, so don't get flattered."
I roll my eyes. "Yeah, I got that part already. And trust me, I wouldn't be flattered."
"Shut up. I'm going to take the doctor down and get the keys."
My chains rattle as I shift position, trying to find a more comfortable way to sit with two bullet holes in my back. "You'd better not leave me here."
The look he gives me is genuinely offended. "Who the fuck do you think convinced Geo not to finish you off?"
The words hit me like a truck. Before I can process their implications, the door slides open upstairs. Raven immediately slumps against the cot on the far side of his cell, one hand drifting down to palm himself through his pants as he lets out a breathy moan.
The sight stirs something in me I thought I'd buried years ago. I tell myself it's just the drugs Ryefield's been pumping into me, combined with the blue balls from being interrupted with Cosima. Nothing more.
The doctor appears at the bottom of the stairs, his face flushed and flustered as he mutters something decidedly obscene under his breath. He pauses outside Raven's cell, keys clutched in his white-knuckled grip.
"I'll help you," he says, his voice strained. "But only if you agree to let me use a command to ensure your compliance. And Geo can't know about this. Deal?"
Fuck.
My muscles tense instinctively. Raven won't be able to resist an alpha command. Not with his condition. This is going to blow up in our faces.
But to my surprise, Raven nods eagerly. "Fine, whatever. I won't tell. Just hurry."
The doctor's voice drops into that resonant tone that bypasses all rational thought for an omega. And the one alpha across the room. " Kneel and stay. "
I watch in helpless rage as the command takes hold. Raven's eyes glaze over as he sinks to his knees on the floor, waiting obediently for whatever comes next. My bound hands clench into fists, nails digging into my palms until I feel blood trickle between my fingers.
The sight of another alpha commanding him like this... it sets something primal and violent churning in my gut. An old protective instinct I thought I'd burned out of myself years ago.
The doctor enters Raven's cell, medical bag in hand, completely oblivious to the murderous thoughts racing through my mind. If these chains weren't holding me back...
But they are.
And all I can do is watch.
For now.
I watch as the doctor approaches Raven's kneeling form, syringe in hand. The sight of him looming over Raven makes my blood boil.
Raven's eyes are glazed over, his body relaxed and submissive under the command. Just like old times. Just like the day I met him. The day I saw that pervert toying with his head like he was a fucking marionette.
The doctor leans down, reaching for Raven's arm. "This will help with the?—"
He never finishes the sentence.
Raven explodes into motion, tackling the doctor against the bars with enough force to rattle the whole cell. The syringe clatters to the floor as they grapple, the doctor's eyes wide with shock and betrayal.
"You little shit!" he snarls, his voice dropping into that commanding tone again. " Stop ? — "
But Raven is faster. He wraps his chain around the doctor's throat, cutting off both air and command. The doctor thrashes, clawing at the metal links crushing his windpipe, but Raven holds firm.
"Shhh," he whispers, his voice eerily calm. "Just go to sleep. This'll all be over in time for your shows."
I watch with grudging admiration as Raven maintains the chokehold. His technique has improved since I last saw him fight. Even if I did teach him everything he knows. The doctor's struggles grow weaker until finally, his eyes roll back and he goes limp.
I guess he can resist commands after all.
Some of them, at least.
Raven releases him, letting him slump to the floor. He rifles through the medical bag, pulling out a vial and another syringe.
"This should keep you nice and quiet," he mutters, injecting the sedative into the doctor's neck.
"Just kill him," I say, my voice rough. "He'll raise the alarm the moment he wakes up."
Raven glares at me, and for a moment, I see a flash of that wounded boy who used to follow me around like a lost puppy all those years ago. "I'm not killing him," he snaps. "He does crossword puzzles, for fuck's sake."
I stare at him, baffled. "What the fuck does that have to do with anything?"
"I see your human decency has somehow atrophied while I've been away," he says, rolling his eyes as he searches the doctor's pockets.
Been away.
As if he just went on fucking vacation.
"Decency doesn't keep you alive in this world," I remind him, watching as he finds the keys. "Or have you forgotten everything I taught you?"
He approaches my cell, keys jingling in his hand. But instead of unlocking the door, he just stands there, studying me with those too-bright eyes.
"Fine," he finally says, that old mischief dancing in his eyes. "The indecent way it is."
I clench my jaw in irritation. I don't have time for this shit. "What do you want, Raven?"
"An answer to two questions." His voice is light, but there's steel beneath the surface. "A small price to pay for freedom, don't you think?"
"We don't have time for this."
"First question," he continues as if I hadn't spoken. "Is Cosima actually your mate?"
"Of course she fucking is," I snap. "Why would I lie about that?"
He considers this, head tilted slightly. Then he says, "Second question. The day I left, you told me something. Do you remember what it was?"
"Was it 'don't let the door hit you where the gods split you'?" I sneer, but my heart is pounding in my ears. I know exactly what he's talking about.
His expression doesn't change. "You told me if I walked out that door, I should keep going and never look back. Because you wouldn't waste another moment of your life thinking about me." He leans closer, his voice dropping to a rasp. "Is that true, Nikolai? Did you think about me?"
The question knocks the wind out of me for a moment, even if it shouldn't. Even if it should be easy to answer. But nothing is ever easy when it comes to Raven. That's the great irony of it all.
My hands tighten on the bars until my knuckles turn white, close enough to his that our fingers brush. The contact sends a jolt through me that I refuse to acknowledge.
Of course I thought about him.
Every fucking day.
Every time I caught a glimpse of golden hair in a crowd. Every time someone made a smartass comment that would have made him laugh. Every time I walked past his old room in the compound, still exactly as he left it because I couldn't bring myself to change a goddamned thing.
But I look him dead in the eye and lie.
"No," I say, my voice cold. "Not even once."
I see the hurt flash across his face before he can hide it. For a moment, I think he's going to leave me here. Part of me hopes he does. It would prove I was right all these years, every time I successfully resisted the urge to hunt him down and drag him back home.
Instead, he turns and drops the keys into my cell. They land at my feet with a metallic clatter that echoes in the sudden silence.
Then he walks away.
Again.
Just like before.
And just like before, I feel the irrational sting of betrayal—even though this time, I know I have only myself to blame.
If I'm being honest, maybe it was my fault then, too.