Chapter 34 Alessio
ALESSIO
“OH NO,” I murmured as I struggled to open my still-sleep-heavy eyes.
I could hear cabinet doors opening and shutting in the kitchen, and when I reached out to the other side of the bed, Rafael was gone.
Gone from the bed, but not my apartment, because his off-key humming carried through into my room, entirely too cheerful for such an early hour.
“Ah, shit. I’m in love with a morning person. ”
Just another way we were opposites, and something told me I’d be curbing my late-night habits one day soon.
But it was worth it. Worth it to have Rafael in my house, rummaging around, making himself at home.
Yawning, I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and groggily sat up. Our clothes from last night had littered the floor, but there was no trace of them now, and even Rafael’s side of the bed was made.
God, the man really was perfect.
My hair was a mess of tangles from Rafael’s fingers in it all night, and I gathered it up in a knot and tied it back before throwing on some sweatpants and heading out into the kitchen.
And for a long time, all I could do was stare.
His hair was damp, like he’d just taken a shower, and he was barefoot and wearing only a pair of my sweatpants and a t-shirt, both of which were slightly too big for him.
The pants should’ve been too short for him, but they sat low enough on his hips that a few inches of skin was revealed when he reached up in one of the cabinets to grab a coffee mug.
He took my breath away. How was he even mine?
He opened one drawer, then another, looking for something and not finding it until lucky number four—only to frown as he flicked through the stash of coffee pods that had probably been there for years.
“You’re judging me, aren’t you?” I said, my voice still raspy with sleep.
He didn’t turn around, only held one pod up at a time to inspect each one. “These expired five years ago.”
“Coffee expires?”
“These do.”
“Well, in my defense, I don’t use them,” I said, walking over and wrapping my arms around him from behind. He smelled like my soap, and I took a deep inhale, running my nose along his neck.
The coffee was forgotten about then, the pods dropped back into the drawer as Rafael spun around, smiling. “Good morning,” he said, running his hands up my arms as I pulled him in tighter.
“You’re a menace. It’s six a.m.”
“It’s eight thirty.”
“That’s still criminal.” I leaned in to give him a soft kiss.
“Maybe. I guess I shouldn’t confess that I’ve been up for hours.”
“Uh, no. You definitely shouldn’t mention that.”
He grinned wider, and I couldn’t get over how different he looked today. Almost younger, somehow? Or maybe it was that he seemed more at ease, the serious line usually between his brows smooth and unburdened.
“I wanted to make you coffee, but—”
“You only found expired pods.” I nodded past him. “That’s because I use grounds and an actual coffeemaker. Did you not have those at St. Andrews?”
Rafael rolled his eyes—actually rolled his eyes at me—and held up an empty ceramic container. “Those don’t usually work with just water, and this was empty.”
“Then I guess you’re forgiven for not snooping enough.” I opened the freezer. I was down to the last couple of bags of my favorite dark roast and I opened one and poured it in the container.
Rafael picked up the empty bag and read the back of it. “Where’s this from?”
“Indonesia.”
“No, I mean, where do you buy it?”
“That is where you buy it.” I shot him a wink over my shoulder and went about making a pot for us. “Theo brings me back a few bags every time he goes over.”
Rafael blinked, sniffed at the bag, and frowned. “Huh.”
“I mean, I could fly over and get it myself, but it’s a long flight and he owes me anyway.”
“Does he?” He settled back against the counter and watched me with curious eyes. “What does he owe you for?”
“You want the list? It’s long.”
“Lucky for me, I’ve got time.” Reaching up, he brushed a lock of my hair that had escaped the tie back behind my ear and then ran the backs of his fingers down my neck. His touch sent electric shocks through my body like it was the first time he’d ever been this close.
This, right here, was all I’d ever wanted, this simple moment: the two of us doing nothing important at all, just being together, making coffee, all the small things that added up to make a life.
“Well, for one, I kept his and Shep’s first wedding pictures out of the media for a good week or so, which is quite the feat, I might add.
But I managed. I scoured the interwebs all over to make sure they got to show the world the photo of their choice, when they wanted.
Gossip was harder, but they were grateful all the same. ”
“I’m sure they were. Moments like that are sacred, special, should be shared when the couple decides, not when the world demands it.”
“I couldn’t agree more,” I said, bracing a hand on either side of him and caging him in against the counter. “Sometimes it’s nice to exist in a bubble for a moment. Where the only two people who exist are you and the one you love.”
Rafael trailed his fingers down my naked torso until they began to flirt with the waist of my sweats. “And is that what we’re doing?”
I nipped at his lower lip. “For at least the next seventy-two hours.”
“Is that right? And, um, what about work?”
“Work?” I snorted. “I’m my own boss. I decide when I go in.”
“Pretty sure Tyrone would disagree with that.”
“King?” I raised my head and shrugged. “He’s more a boss in name and sheer fear factor only. He lets us—”
“Run wild?”
I pulled back and arched a brow. “No. I was going to say manage ourselves, unless—”
“You become unmanageable.”
I took a step back and crossed my arms over my chest, and it didn’t escape my attention the way his eyes couldn’t help but greedily roam over my naked skin. “You saying I’m a troublemaker?”
“I’m saying you are, and always have been, a troublemaker.”
I chuckled and shook my head. “How is this real? How are you standing here right now in my kitchen joking with me and looking at me like—”
“I love you?” He pushed off the counter and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “Because I do. But, um, I’m going to let you make the fancy coffee.”
“And what do you plan to do while I make the coffee?” I said as he walked around the counter and took a seat on one of the stools.
“I’m going to watch you. You should be familiar with that.”
I turned in time to see him wink at me, and that did jack shit to stop the heat on my cheeks. I was blushing, actually blushing, because Rafael was giving me shit for spying on him all these years.
Oh well, it wasn’t like I had been especially good at hiding my obsession with him anyway.
“So you and the Kings,” Rafael said as I prepared the coffee. “How did that all, you know, come about? Or are you not allowed to tell me?”
I scoffed and turned to face him as the coffee began to brew. “King used to take confessional with you. I’m pretty sure you know secrets much more nuclear than how I ended up working for the man.”
Rafael shrugged, looking a little sheepish about the whole thing. “I wouldn’t say nuclear. But it was more… I just… I wasn’t sure if you wanted to tell me.”
“Because you knew I was doing something illegal?”
“Maybe?”
“Well, let’s just say King caught me snooping through some files I shouldn’t be and offered me a way to stay out of a jail cell.”
“I see.” Rafael’s eyes swept over the kitchen and toward the large living area before coming back to me. “Seems it paid off. You’ve done well for yourself.”
I nodded, my lips twitching, because he had no idea. “You could say that.”
“Is something funny?”
“Nope.” I brought his coffee over to him and then headed to the fridge. “I don’t have any caramel creamer yet, but I have milk and sugar.”
Rafael grinned. “I’m guessing you still like yours black?”
“You know it. But we’ll get you some of the sweet stuff ASAP, plus anything else you need.”
“Oh, you don’t need to worry about that.”
“I’m not worried. Like you said, I’m doing pretty well for myself.” I slid the milk on the counter. “So unless you have a magical Mary Poppins bag, I’m thinking you don’t own that many clothes outside your priestly attire.”
“I have a few things.”
“Then we’ll get you a few more things.” I braced my hands on the counter. “Unless you prefer walking around naked?”
“Why not? That’s how God intended it, right?”
“If that’s the case, what’s with my sweats and t-shirt?”
“I woke up early, and being wrapped in something that smelled like you was the next best thing to being in bed.”
“Fuck.” I nipped at his lower lip then soothed it with my tongue. “That’s hot.”
Rafael chuckled and gently pushed me away. “See? Troublemaker. Go and make your coffee so I can drink mine.”
I backed away from him, taking in the domestic picture he made sitting at my counter drinking his coffee, and I couldn’t help but think how lucky I was.
Sure, it’d taken over a decade for me to feel that way, but beggars couldn’t be choosers, right? He was here now, and that was all that mattered.
With my coffee in hand, I gestured to the couch, and Rafael slipped off the stool to follow me into the living area. I sat facing the windows, and after Rafael took the spot beside me, curling up into me so our thighs touched, I took one of his hands in mine.
“Is it strange?”
“What’s that?” he asked looking at me over the rim of his mug.
“Waking up to St. Andrews from here?”
“A little. But at least I still get to wake up to it, and this view…” He softly smiled as his eyes shifted to the window. “It’s stunning.”
“I always thought so. But I didn’t really buy it for the church.”
Rafael’s eyes found mine, and the love swirling in them made my heart swell. “All this time, you watched. You waited for me.”
I put my mug on the side table and brought a hand up to cradle his face, and Rafael closed his eyes and leaned into the touch.
“Father—Archbishop De Vecchi told me I had to let you go, to let you find what you needed. It was the hardest thing I ever did. Broke my heart. But the fact it brought you back to me, here and now, makes every single night I watched and waited for you worth it.”
Rafael opened his eyes, and I swept a thumb over his wet cheek.
“No. Don’t do that,” I said, taking his cup from him and putting it beside mine. “This is the way our story was supposed to go. You needed to leave, I needed to let you go, and now we’re back where we belong.”
Rafael nodded and leaned in to capture my lips in the most breathtakingly gentle kiss I’d ever received.
It was full of love and tenderness, an apology for breaking both our hearts and a healing of our souls, because while this was the way our story had needed to play out, it had put the both of us through the wringer.
But maybe that was how we were supposed to know it was real, how we knew it was meant to be—it was hard.
“I love you,” he whispered, and I nodded, feeling his love deep inside my bones.
“I love you too.”
“I feel like we’re just beginning. This new life of ours.” He pulled away and smiled at me. “It has endless possibilities, endless ways to love and serve, and I can’t wait to see where it takes us.”
“Neither can I. But right now, I know exactly where it’s taking you.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.” I got to my feet and took his hand in mine, leading him through the bedroom to the en suite.
“Uh, I already showered.”
“I know.” I pushed my sweatpants to the floor and stepped out of them. “But I didn’t. So get naked, you know, the way God intended.”