Chapter 23
Tristan
Sometimes, I sit and wonder how it would feel to let go. Sometimes, I find myself back at the gates of hell where I belong. Others, I find myself hiding in plain sight.
Most days, I know who the fuck I am but others? I don’t know shit. I’m struggling again. Not because I killed those fuckers, but because taking on Ash has been hitting me hard.
She’s changing, and it isn’t that I don’t like it; I do, but she doesn’t know who she is anymore. Doesn’t know where she belongs, and she’s doing everything she can to fit in. And a part of me hates that shit.
“You don’t have to fucking fit in, Ash! How many times do I have to say it?”
“Apparently, more than one.”
“Why do you want to fit in so badly? Huh? I don’t fucking fit in, and I could care less,” I remind her.
“I want to have friends, Tristan. I want to go out and be a damn twenty-two-year-old girl!” Yeah, she celebrated her birthday by riding my cock with a candle up her ass, and she enjoyed every fucking minute of it.
“Then go!”
“I will!” She roars before grabbing her jacket and storming out the door. I chuckle and walk over, waiting for her to come back, which she does seconds later.
“You know what? I hate you.” Now I laugh harder.
“No, you don’t. You hate yourself.”
“Why would I hate myself, Tristan?”
“Because you don’t know who you are unless you’re getting your ass whipped,” I remind her. She tries to step back, but I grab the chain around her neck and pull it, choking her a little. She reaches up to grab it, and I shake my head, her hands slowly lowering back to her sides.
“Get on your knees,” I demand. At first, she doesn’t do it, but when I snap the chain in my hand a little harder, she drops in front of me. “Pull my cock out,” I tell her. She licks her lips and reaches up, unzipping my jeans and pulling my cock free. Then she leans in, and I step back.
“Did I tell you to lick it?”
“Seriously, Tristan?”
“Fine. Go ahead, baby. Show me what a dirty little nun you really are.” She wraps her lips around my cock and slowly begins to suck. She’s done it a few times before this, but not often. I don’t make her do it because it’s more fun when I eat her pussy and make her crazy. Like this, she knows she has some kind of control, and I don’t give her that all the time.
She keeps sucking as I let my head drop back, enjoying what she’s doing to me. Her tongue flattens along the vein, and I nearly come down the back of her throat.
“Come on, Ash. I want to come today,” I tell her. She keeps going until I do. Shooting my load down the back of her throat. She’s gagging, and I love every second of it. I want to cut off her air supply. I want to make her uncomfortable, and I do.
When I’m done and she can’t breathe, I pull out of her mouth and slap her cheek with my cock.
“The next time you want to be a brat, just drop to your knees, Ash.”
“I’m not being a brat.” She stands in front of me, cum leaking down her chin, and I groan from the sight. I lean in and lick it off her before kissing her and shoving it all in her mouth. Ash groans and pulls me closer to her.
“I want you, Tristan.
“You have me, baby.”
“No. I want all of you.”
“What do you mean?”
“I want to marry you. I want everything with you, Tristan.”
“It’s a good day for an unholy black wedding.”
“Are you serious? Can we get married?”
“Ash. Come on. I’m not the marrying type.”
“But you’re also not going to let me go either?”
“Fuck no. Is that what you want? After everything I’ve done for you?” I yell a little louder than I need to. She’s making me mad, and not in a good way.
“No, that’s not what I want, asshole. I just told you I wanted to marry you!”
“I really do like your new vocabulary, Ash.”
“Shut up.”
“I mean it. It’s sexy as hell hearing you say those words,” I tell her, calming both of us. A smile tugs across her face before she speaks.
“I didn’t know it could be so empowering.”
“Just say what you feel, right?” She nods her head, and that’s all I can take. I pull her against me, holding her there for as long as I feel like. I press my lips to the top of her head and sigh, just breathing her in.
“Are you okay?” she whispers, and I know what she’s talking about. She thinks I’m losing my mind after everything that happened, but she could be more wrong. I’m okay. I feel okay, and killing them didn’t bother me the way she thought it would. Hell, it doesn’t feel like I did anything out of the normal.
“I have a bad feeling,” I tell her, not wanting to admit to it.
“About what?”
“Everything that happened. I’m not sure Andy and Rod know how to get rid of bodies the way they should.”
“And you’re just now thinking about this?” She freaks out. I hold onto her tighter, not letting her go.
“Yeah, I am. Maybe I’m wrong. I could be wrong, but I don’t think they’ve ever hidden bodies before.”
“I don’t want to talk about this,” she says, burying her face in my shirt.
“It’s fine. Fuck, even if they find them, what?”
“You could go to prison, Tristan.” Now I laugh.
“Like I’d ever let that happen. I’d die before I went to prison,” I tell her.
“Don’t say things like that.”
“It’s the truth, Ash.”
“You’d rather be dead than get to see me?”
“If I’m locked up, I’m not seeing you anyway. Just drop it, okay? I’m sure it’s fine. You ready to go?” I ask her. I promised her a ride on the bike, and I plan on giving her that. She nods her head, and we break apart before heading outside. I grab the helmet and pass it to her, eyeing her while she puts it on. I can’t get enough of her wearing jeans. They hug her perfect ass, and that’s all I can ever look at it. It makes her laugh, and that’s the best sound in the world.
I climb on, and she climbs on behind me, wrapping her arms as tightly as she can around my waist and holding on while I take off.
We ride around for a little while when I hear sirens behind me. I’m so close to the bridge that I don’t pull over until I’m on it. Ash is tense, her arms tight around me until the cops pull up and surround us.
“Off the bike,” comes a man’s voice. I knew it. One of them either turned on me, or they didn’t hide the bodies well enough. Fuck!
Ash climbs off only after I tell her to. Then I climb off, pulling her helmet from her head.
“Hands in the air!” Comes the next command. I smirk and look down at Ash.
“You know I love you.”
“Whatever you’re about to do, don’t. We don’t know that’s what this is about.”
“Yeah, we do. Tell me you love me,” I tell her.
“Don’t do this,” she begs softly.
“Tell me,” I demand this time.
“I love you, Tristan.” I lean down and capture her lips with mine, kissing her so hard she’ll never be able to forget me. When I pull back, I shove her away from me toward the cops.
“She had nothing to do with it! Don’t hurt her!”
“Hands up! Or I’ll shoot!” Now I laugh. Shoot? Hell, I’ve been shot. That isn’t going to happen again either, that shit hurt.
“Tristan.”
“Put your hands up and walk over there, Ash.” She starts to move, and so do I. I climb the rail just as she turns to face me. I blow her a kiss, and then shots are fired just as I jump.
The freefall is something I’ve never felt in my life. The free feeling, the rushing through the air. I close my eyes as everything blows past me, and then I straighten out and hit the water.