Chapter Ten
Cassian
“I just can’t believe you aren’t freaking out over this?”
Did he seriously think I was taking this well?!
“I had you stay a wolf last night so I wouldn’t have to deal with it, and I’d spent yesterday thinking that I’d either imagined you, or that you were real but had decided to leave me.
And trust me, both were equally hard to think about.
So, if you think this is me not freaking out, then it’s because the first two thoughts were so devastating to me that this reality is a huge relief.
” I was panting at the end, staring him down, daring him to say something.
His eyes were wide and then they changed somehow, guilt took over and once again he wouldn’t meet my gaze. “I’m sorry for leaving you.”
“I’m still waiting for the explanation of why you did it.
You could’ve easily shifted and told me you had a wife and family and didn’t care much for being treated as a pet.
” I was both embarrassed and mad that he’d acted like a real animal and not just told me outright he was a man.
Well, a man who could turn into a wolf… But still!
“I was called back home by my dad. I had certain responsibilities that I needed to take care of. The fact I was gone for so long left many to doubt my place in my pack,” he explained.
It sounded genuine enough, and with the power my own father had held over me for so long, I understood the urge to submit and do whatever he asked.
“And you couldn’t have left a note?” I tried, knowing it was a last-ditch effort to keep my anger at him going.
He smiled knowingly. I both hated it and loved it at the same time.
Letting out a deep sigh, I decided to ask the thing I dreaded to know the answer to the most. “Now that you’ve explained that you aren’t just a wolf, will you leave me behind for good?”
His smile fell. “You want that?”
I quickly shook my head. “Never! I want you to stay, but…well, it was easier to adopt a wolf. I can’t exactly demand you stay here and buy you a collar, now, can I?”
A new much bigger and brighter smile took over his face. “I wouldn’t be opposed to getting collared by you.”
I almost swallowed my tongue at his reply. Words… I needed to speak words!
Clearing my throat, I tried to sound unaffected as I said, “We’ll get back to that… but for now, you’re saying you want to maybe hang out? Be friends?”
I really needed a friend. The last girl I’d been seeing had taken all our friends with her when we’d broken up, and I had one friend that was employed by my father, so he was out, too.
“Just friends?” he asked with a wink.
I blushed, “I um…I’ve never been interested in a man before…well, before you, that is.”
“Wait, never?”
I shook my head, feeling embarrassed. He didn’t seem surprised that I liked him, which oddly made me feel better.
“So,” he began, “you not only have to deal with knowing shifters exist? You also have to deal with the fact you’re attracted to me?”
“Pretty much, yeah,” I shrugged.
“Then I think we should be friends first,” he declared, and I felt both relieved and disappointed by that, but we didn’t really know each other anyway, so friends was a good place to start. Hopefully, he wouldn’t date anyone until I knew for sure if I wanted more with him or not.
“Friends,” I agreed.
For now.
“I do have some questions about yesterday,” he said, stabbing a fork through his eggs.
I eyed my own plate of now cold food. “Ask away.” I had about a thousand questions for him, and that was only the wolf related ones.
“What were you doing with Rowan and Greg?”
“Oh, they kidnapped me.”
Shoot, I forgot to get their numbers!
“And,” he growled. “Did they do anything to hurt you?”
“What? No! Unless fattening me up could be considered hurting me. But Greg’s muffins were to die for, so no regrets there.”
I needed that recipe, and he’d promised to text it. “Do you have Greg’s number?” I asked, interrupting his next question.
“What?”
“I need his muffin recipe,” I explained, already foreseeing his question.
“That would be a no,” he said, sounding a little off.
“They aren’t friends of yours?” They seemed familiar.
“No friends of mine would kidnap you,” he snarled, then with more force than was warranted, he stabbed his fork through a piece of egg again.
I rolled my eyes at that. “You can’t know that for sure, besides, I got muffins and two friends out of it.”
“And a broken front door,” he muttered.
“That was easily fixed,” I retorted, eating a piece of bacon as I glared at him.
It was so much better when he couldn’t talk back.
“Is it my turn to ask questions now?” I said, sipping my coffee.
“Ask away.”
“What is the purpose of being a wolf?”
“Purpose?”
“Yeah, like why do wolf shifters exist, what is it that you do?”
He looked puzzled. “We… um, just exist.”
“Ah, so like humans, not like some secret mafia organization who helps fight crime or something disguised as animals.”
I had to admit I was disappointed.
He blinked at me. “Your mind is both a terrifying place and also sort of endearing.”
Normally I kept my thoughts to myself, but it seemed Jeremy got all of me and I wasn’t mad about that.
“Next question,” I said. “You don’t have a partner, right?
This isn’t some shifter thing where they find humans exciting and end up cheating on their shifter partner and family?
Because I’m not cool with that.” He’d said we were friends, but since his flirting had been obvious, I needed to know what kind of person he was if our friendship could continue.
After a few seconds of silence, it appeared that I’d rendered him speechless. I could wait him out. The eggs were amazing, so while he sat there gaping at me, I could stuff my face and sip my coffee.
“I’m single,” he finally replied.
“Okay,” I exhaled, feeling happy that my intuition on him being a good guy proved to be right. “I’m looking forward to being your friend, then.”
Missing Red yesterday was enough to make me bold. Just thinking of him leaving had me nervous. It was weird how this man could make me feel like I needed him.
“I know you have responsibilities, but can I tag along until I feel more settled here?”
He was smiling, looking way too pleased by my question. “Of course, and you don’t mind me being a shifter?”
“Why would I mind? I get to cuddle Red whenever I want to.”
“Whenever you want,” he repeated. “Wherever you want, too.” He shot me a wink. It seemed this being friends thing was a true test to him. Either way, I felt like I’d won.
“I need to tell you something, though, and I hope it won’t change things,” he began. I already knew he was single, so I couldn’t really imagine what worried him. It was clear it was either something important, or something he feared I wouldn’t like.
“Okay?” I urged.
“I’m the pack Alpha,” he said, his eyes intense as he waited for my response.
“Good for you!” I exclaimed, figuring it had to be some kind of big deal. There could only be one Alpha, right?
He shook his head, smiling. “Not the reaction I expected.”
Oh, did that mean it was something bad? Think, Cass, think! Alphas were the leaders of wolves, right? Was it like with lions that only the male impregnated the women?
“Oh, my God! Are you trying to tell me you have to impregnate all the women in your pack?! Or that you have a thousand kids and need help babysitting?!”
His eyes widened with horror. “No!”
I slumped back in my seat. “Then why the fuck do you act like you being Alpha is a bad thing?!”
“Because,” he sighed. “It means I have the whole pack as my responsibility. It means you have to share my attention, and it’s not always easy being friends with the Alpha.”
“But you said I could tag along?”
“You can!” he agreed hurriedly.
“Then that’s good enough for me,” I decided.
He smiled brightly at that, so I tacked on, “Speaking freely, just thinking of being apart from you is hurting my insides. I don’t know why and I hope you aren’t freaked out over that.
But it’s the truth, so you being Alpha isn’t something I’m worried about. ”
“Really? I have to say you’re taking this extremely well.”
I shrugged. “I might have a breakdown during my next shower, only time will tell. But I’ve spent my adult years doing my father’s bidding. I want to live now. I promised myself I would follow my heart and do what I want for once.”
He just sat there, blinking owlishly at me.
I stood and grabbed both our plates. “Let’s get to work!” I declared cheerfully. “We’re starting with the bathroom. We need to add the base coat first. I need to buy a new shower curtain, too.”