Chapter Fourteen
Cassian
The sound of the front door closing was what finally broke the dam. Damn, Daisy didn’t deserve such a sad first day here.
Letting her out slowly, she moved outside her cage, bowing her back like she feared the opening would crush her.
She sniffed around while I left her to it, leaving the carrier open in case she needed the safety of it.
I didn’t want her to escape, so I closed the living room door, giving her access to the kitchen and living room only.
Then I walked out to my car to grab everything I’d bought for her.
Jeremy was long gone. Even though I’d wanted him to leave, I still felt like my insides were screaming because of it.
Why did Jeremy affect me so much? Why did I even need him? Sure, we’d had fun together, and he was easy to talk to. But why did it seem like he was everything to me? There had to be some kind of wolf powers at play, right?
Shaking the thought away, I placed the cat tree box down in the hallway, then went back outside for the rest. Once I’d emptied out my car completely, I decided to build the cat tree. A beeping sound interrupted my amazing building skills, and I went in search of the sound.
“What the?”
My brand-new washer and dryer were installed and looking all shiny and perfect in my mudroom. Had Jeremy done that? I felt both happy and sad at the thought. I’d basically thrown him out, and here he’d been, installing my new machines and even washing one load.
No. His leaving was for the best. My feelings were all over the place and I knew what I’d seen between Darius and him. I was no good for the pack Alpha, and Jeremy would realize that soon enough.
Taking out the washing, I added it to the dryer and turned it on, then promptly filled the washer again with some of my newly bought linens.
“Shoot!” I exclaimed, then hurried back to Daisy. I’d completely forgotten the litterbox!
With the litterbox now set up and filled with litter, I breathed easier knowing my precious Daisy would have a place to go pee. I felt like the worst cat dad, bringing her to this dump of a home while I kept wiping away silent tears.
This couldn’t be normal. Crying over a guy I’d known for days seemed ridiculous!
But here I was, sobbing away as I moved my furniture around.
The carpet guy was coming in the morning, and I wanted it to be done as fast as possible.
That meant I had to move things out of the way.
He’d start with the second floor, so I carefully carried what I could out of the rooms and let Daisy roam freely downstairs.
Thinking of Jeremy while I tried very hard not to, seemed to be what I would spend the rest of the night doing.
I literally couldn’t stop it. Maybe I should see a therapist or something.
This unhealthy obsession with a guy I barely knew had taken over all my thoughts and I couldn’t escape him.
Why had it mattered so much if Jeremy was into Darius?
I wasn’t in love with Jeremy. I couldn’t possibly be already, yet I felt like he was mine somehow.
This, this right here, was the reason he had to leave. I wasn’t good for him. This wasn’t good for me either. I felt too out of control, too unsettled when he wasn’t with me. I had to just rip the bandage off and hope the hold he had on me would lessen over time.
A soft meow reached me. My poor Daisy was likely already feeling neglected and hungry. I mentally slapped myself and hurried to fill her new bowl with the cat food.
“I’m so sorry, Daisy,” I apologized, hoping she wouldn’t use this against me. I really needed her company tonight. I wasn’t looking forward to going to bed alone. Just the thought…
A sob escaped me yet again and I had to slap myself, hard, too hard. Owww… But damn, I needed to get back to the Cass I was before meeting Jeremy.
Forcing a smile, I gently stroked Daisy who ate happily at her new food. I would be okay.
I had to be.
That had been the worst night of my life.
After tossing and turning for over an hour, Daisy had left my bedroom.
She was already tired of my shit it seemed.
When sleep finally claimed me, I’d dreamt of Red, then of Jeremy, like my brain somehow had to show me I missed both versions of him.
I hadn’t just told Jeremy to leave yesterday, I’d told Red…
My Red. And that was what I’d seen in my dream turned nightmare, the look of sadness in Red’s eyes as I’d told him to leave my house, leaving him out in the thundering rain.
Because, of course, my nightmare had to make it even worse.
Groaning, I sat up and decided a shower would be the best start to this horrible day. That’s when I remembered Jeremy had added the second base coat. It was another thing he’d done yesterday. I was such an idiot.
What if he never returned ? I didn’t have his number, and had no idea where he lived. I guess I could ask Loren in the diner, but that would seem slightly stalkerish, right?
However weird it might seem, I missed Jeremy even more during my shower. Watching the less visible cupids eye me as I washed my hair, reminded me of Red. I’d felt so safe with him just being there.
Dragging my feet, getting dressed took me way longer than usual. Had it not been for my precious Daisy waiting for her breakfast, I’d have stayed in bed.
The doorbell rang as soon as Daisy was fed. Thinking it had to be the carpet guy, I hurried to open it, only to see a timid looking Jeremy.
“Good morning,” he said, handing me a bag of delicious smelling baked goods. “I um, brought you breakfast.”
He was looking so out of sorts as he stood there, waiting for me to either invite him in or send him away. I’d thrown him out yesterday, but here he was, bringing me breakfast?
Without allowing it, tears began forming in my eyes and I hastily wiped them away, then silently moved to the side, allowing Jeremy to enter.
Closing the door behind him, I took a moment to breathe and clear my mind a bit. Jeremy was back! I knew I’d acted purely on emotions yesterday. Self-preservation had definitely kicked in, but he showed up here after that… I wasn’t going to make him leave again. No way.
I found Jeremy in my kitchen, petting Daisy like the precious queen that she was. What did Daisy do? She purred like a little slut. I was officially jealous of my own damn cat.
“We should talk,” Jeremy said, still stroking Daisy and giving her all the attention and love, while I stood there, starving for his affection.
“Okay,” I agreed, figuring we might as well get it out of the way before the carpet guy got here.
He rose to his full height and now all of his attention was on me. I swallowed in response.
“I apologize for yesterday,” he began. “As Alpha, my pack is important. Darius had some alarming things to tell me. However, that doesn’t excuse me from ignoring you. I feel embarrassed over not seeing you leave.”
I was about to apologize too, for leaving like that, but he kept going.
“I also want to be honest and not hide stuff from you. Yes, I do have some conflicting feelings about Darius, my best friend. But he is with my little brother, and I want them to be happy, even if their relationship is complicated.”
Damn, I hated knowing I was right, but it couldn’t have been easy for Jeremy either, liking his best friend while he was with his little brother? I could sympathize with that.
“Also, I lied to you,” he admitted, giving me pause. “I told you we should just be friends, even if I wanted more. I guess that didn’t help things when Darius showed up. So, I came here to lay it all out there, and ask if you wanted to come with me today and meet some of my pack mates?”
I was stunned into silence. There was so much information all at once, but I held onto the things that made my heart flutter with excitement.
“You want more than friendship with me?”
He smiled then, moving closer so he could touch my arm. “Very much so. I know we’ve only just met, but this connection between us,” he pointed to our chests, “It’s special, and shouldn’t be ignored. Don’t you agree?”
Nodding, I stepped forward and crushed him into a hug, feeling the softness of his T-shirt and enjoying the scent of him this close.
I could finally breathe again.
The doorbell rang, reminding me of the carpet guy.
“Oh!” I hurried to answer, Jeremy right behind me.
The guy was a true redhead, face full of freckles and a cute smile. “Hi there,” he greeted. Then he bowed his head when he spotted Jeremy, a blush quickly forming over his cheeks.
Stepping closer to Jeremy I eyed the man with suspicion.
“Elias,” Jeremy said, smiling at him. He looked back at me, “Elias is in my pack.”
“Oh.” I realized that meant Elias was a wolf shifter, too. “Nice to meet you.”
“You, too,” Elias smiled kindly at me, my brief worry that he wouldn’t approve of me being human gone. “I heard you’re meeting the pack today?”
Had Jeremy already told them?
“Um, yes,” I answered, feeling nervous all of a sudden.
“I sadly won’t be there,” Elias said, sounding anything but sad about it. “So I’m glad I got the chance to meet you now.”
I was about to say ‘me too’ but Jeremy took over. And pointed at the floors. “We need all the carpet stripped off and if the wood flooring can be saved, we want it sanded down and stained in a warm light color.”
Elias was all work now and nodded, taking notes on his phone. “The stain for nails?” he asked Jeremy, who nodded.
“Nails?” I questioned, loving how Jeremy took charge and helped me.
“For our shifted forms. We all have wood floorings with a special stain that adds protection to the wood. It’s also good for when you have pets,” Jeremy explained.
“Oh, sounds good, then. The only furniture upstairs is my bed, so you can start there. Let me know when you reach my bedroom and I’ll help move my bed.”
Jeremy waved it off. “Elias and I will move the bed, you can keep Daisy company while we work.”
That sounded perfect to me, but the way Elias kept glancing Jeremy’s way…I would need to keep an eye on that. I knew Jeremy was single, and interested in me, but I already had to deal with Darius being in his life. There simply wasn’t room for the red headed carpet guy too.
I left them to it and sat down with Daisy in the living room, mentally preparing myself to meet a lot of new people today.
Holy… did this mean Jeremy and I were actually dating now? Was that like a shifter thing? Showing me off to his pack?
Daisy purred under my touch and I brushed the worry aside. Jeremy was back in my life and I’d promised myself I would follow my heart. Since it was intent on following Jeremy, I would gladly do whatever it wanted.