Chapter 25 #2
He’s near the back, by the angel. Sitting on the concrete lip of the fountain with his feet in the water.
I let out the breath I’ve been holding in all night.
Not wanting to startle him, I’m careful to project my voice.
“Hey.”
He looks up, then off to the side, shaking his head. “I don’t wanna talk to you,” he calls back.
“I understand. Can I tell your uncles you’re safe?”
He doesn’t answer.
I take a chance and go around to the side, cutting the distance between us.
“They freaked out when they couldn’t track you. It really scared Anders.”
“I didn’t mean to scare anyone.”
“I know. And for what it’s worth, I think they really feel bad about…whatever the family stuff is.” I hold up my phone. “It’s just so they can sleep tonight.”
Maverick considers me for a moment, then says, “Don’t message them until you get home. I don’t want them coming here.”
I chance a few more steps as I gesture to Anders’ car. “I think they already know I’m here.”
He runs his hands through his hair. “Fine. Tell them to back off though.”
“I will.”
Me: I passed by campus again and found him. Safe and unhurt.
Me: He asked to be left alone.
Anders: Fucking hell, Boone. Thank you for the triple-check.
Anders: I did not want to bring in his dads.
Anders: We’ll make it better, I promise.
Me: You’re welcome. I’ll hang out as long as he’s willing to talk to me.
Anders: Good man.
Anders: And keep the fucking car.
I snort.
“What’s so funny?”
When I look up from the phone, Maverick’s closed the rest of the distance. He’s standing in front of me, but he’s avoiding eye contact.
“What’s so funny?” he repeats.
I roll my eyes. “Anders said to keep the car.”
“He probably means it.”
“I’m not keeping your uncle’s car.”
Maverick shakes his head. “Good luck with that.”
I’m grateful for the levity, but…fuck. There’s more to be said, and I hope he’ll let me say it.
“I need you to believe me when I tell you that I was not using you to get close to Hopper.” I stare at the fountain, but it offers no absolution. “And while that makes this complicated, you are not the complication. I’m so sorry I said that.”
Maverick’s eyes are closed, something he does when he’s listening intently. Trying so hard to capture every word.
After a moment, he nods to himself. “So, Hopper is your birth father?”
“Yeah.” I swallow thickly.
“You tried to tell me.” He taps his temple. “You said, ‘Not all the things that make this problematic are resolved by you getting older.’ This is what you meant, right?”
I nod. “I wanted to tell you. And I wanted to kiss you. And I didn’t think I could do both.”
He wipes his hand over his mouth, like maybe he’s trying to hide a smile.
“You volunteered at the summer camp because you thought Hopper would be there.”
He says this without accusation, but he’s clearly been thinking through each and every one of our interactions. I’ve been doing the same.
“Yes.”
His mouth turns down. “So I really was a complication with my shitty bouquet.”
“It wasn’t a shitty bouquet. You were just too young.” I worry the inside of my lip.
He rubs the back of his neck, like he’s considering my words.
His eyes finally meet mine. “Thank you for being honest.”
I stand there, terrified that any sudden movement will make him take flight again.
Instead, he asks, “How’s Uncle Hopper doing? This must’ve been so emotional for him, especially since they lost the pregnancy.”
“It’s very emotional. I hadn’t planned on telling him, but the conversation we were having… I knew I could go there. And I just… I wanted him to know who I am.”
I dash at my tears, annoyed that I can’t seem to get my shit together.
“So yeah. That’s why he called Liam, who called Anders.” I curse under my breath. “Though I think me leaving Hopper to chase you may have also been some kind of a trigger?”
Maverick lets out a rusty laugh. I hate it.
“I’m still causing you all kinds of complications, aren’t I?”
“Hey.” I grab his hands, pulling on them until he looks me in the eyes. “That’s not what I meant. I don’t regret telling him— I can’t. I’m just saying that I know he has a really shitty history, which impacts how he reacts to things.”
“You can’t control Hopper’s reaction.”
“I know.” I let his hands go and rake my fingers through my hair. “I just… I’ve waited for this day since I was in high school, and…it’s a fucking mess. I want him in my life, but I haven’t even told my parents that I’ve known who my birth father is for years.”
I’m fucking it all up.
“And I want you,” I continue, desperate to make him understand. “So much. But I didn’t know how to tell you. I’m sorry. I just… I didn’t know how to put it all together.”
I bury my face in my palms, exhausted and strung out and terrified that everything I’ve ever wanted is slipping through my hands.
“I think you’re amazing. And I think he’s amazing. And I’m worried that after tonight, neither of you will want me in your lives.”
I can barely voice that last part, but something tells me I have to. That Maverick needs to know he’s not the only one who feels exposed and out of place.
As I’m overthinking every decision I’ve ever made in my life, strong arms surround me. I let out a wary breath and sink into his hold.
“Fuck,” Maverick says into my hair.
I press my face into his meaty shoulder. “Exactly.”