4. Elzora
4
ELZORA
“ Y our magicae has fully awakened, Elzora. You’ve matured in the eyes of the witch community,” Mr Downey says, his voice low and deliberate as he adjusts his glasses.
The way his deep green eyes search my face sends a prickling unease through me—like he’s trying to see deeper than he should.
As if he can reach right into my soul.
It makes me feel uncomfortable, knowing that I could see into his eyes so very easily.
I avert my gaze, focusing on the movement of his lips instead, hoping it will settle the anxious hum of my magicae that ripples beneath my skin.
It’s been shifting restlessly since maturing last night, and I am terrified that it’s going to act out and do something without my permission.
As it is so fond of doing.
Zohar’s grip on my hand tightens, doing his best to ground me in place.
“She understands what it means,” Eirik interjects coldly, his voice sharp enough to make me flinch. “And she knows that it no longer permits you to be her legal guardian, and that she now stands on her own two feet.”
His words come out clipped, each syllable edged with an icy resolve I’ve never heard from him before.
I glance at my anima nexum , startled by the sudden change in his demeanour. He’s sitting beside me, his broad shoulders tense, his body language radiating with hostility.
His magicae hums in perfect sync with him—controlled, precise, and deadly .
The complete opposite of my own .
His dark hair, nearly black in this lighting, gleams under the dim office lights, and his stormy grey eyes are locked on Mr Downey with such intensity it sends a shiver through me.
This side of Eirik is terrifyingly beautiful, a force of cold calculation and power. Every inch the royal anima nexum I’m bound to.
It shouldn’t appeal to me the way it does.
Zohar’s the complete opposite—the calm in Eirik’s storm. Like Eirik and I, he’s wearing his school uniform, and there’s an air of ease surrounding him.
The three of us are in Mr Downey’s office on the campus of the Whisperfelt Institute. It feels so much smaller today, like the walls are closing in on me.
Maybe it’s because I’m supposed to feel different now—fully awakened, as they keep saying. But all I feel is the familiar weight pressing down on my chest, trying to crush me. The same weight that has been there since I was thirteen, suffocating me in the grasps of its panicky hold.
I thought I had settled, that I was starting to do better, starting to feel more like the me I’ve always wanted to be… and then last night happened, and now I’m an anxious mess once more.
“You are not an anxious mess, dragonfly,” Zohar says, and even mentally, I hear the stern admonishment in his tone. “You’re adapting to a brand new situation. Stop being hard on yourself.”
If only it was that easy.
“I heard that,” Eirik adds, not looking away from the death glare he’s giving Mr Downey. “And that means we’re not doing our jobs good enough. You should never doubt your worth when we’re here to tell you otherwise, darling.”
Their ability to comfort me when everything feels out of control is astounding.
“Just because I’m no longer your legal guardian in Mitagus,” Mr Downey says, breaking the awkward silence, “doesn’t mean I’ve stopped caring about you, Zoe. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.”
There’s a heaviness to his words that I can’t quite place, a subtle weight behind his smile that makes my stomach churn.
My legs tremble under the table, my magicae swirling with unease. I don’t like this. Any of it. But I have to stay calm. If I lose control, I’ll wreck everything my men have worked hard to protect.
I don’t like the uncertainty of this new life, but one thing is clear: I can trust the men in my bond with my life— with my soul .
Everyone else? They’re dangerous until proven otherwise.
“I know,” I whisper, even though I’m not sure I do. I manage to give a weak smile, but it feels wrong on my lips.
Mr. Downey looks like he’s about to say something more, but his gaze shifts back to Eirik, who sits stone-faced, tension vibrating through him.
“Did something prompt her maturing?” Mr Downey’s question is directed at Eirik, not me, so I remain silent, letting the tight knot in my chest loosen as the full weight of his attention shifts away.
Do we admit that I fully bonded with Ryes?
Zohar’s squeeze on my hand is not for comfort this time but a warning to stay quiet. Well, that makes the decision easier.
“No,” Eirik says, shaking his head, his tone clipped. “We had too many issues with Headmaster Whisperfelt at the school, and so, we moved into Necos’s place like we told you. We had barely been there for a few hours before it happened. It’s been a few months now since Margaret’s passing, I think the likely reason was the binding spell fully being out of her system by then.”
I’m very content to let Eirik answer as many of the questions as he can, even if Zohar’s annoyed at the lack of respect Mr Downey is showing me by acting as if I’m not able to articulate for myself.
To me, the less I need to speak, the better—I can avoid his probing gaze. The way he’s watching me… it’s like he’s trying to decipher a puzzle that’s missing pieces, so he can’t solve it, but he’s determined to just shove it together.
“I see,” Mr Downey murmurs, his gaze narrowing slightly.
I shift in my seat, wishing desperately that this inquisition would end. My magicae pulses just beneath the surface, desperate to be unleashed .
Does he know? Can he sense it?
Fear creeps up my spine, my heart hammering against my rib cage, the echo of it pulsing in my brain. Even the steady presence of my soulmates’s magicae swirling inside me isn’t enough to bring calm.
“You’re safe, darling, I promise,” Eirik says, his tone so sweet and gentle as his hand brushes my knee under the table.
“We’d not let anyone hurt you,” Zohar adds. He’s a supportive anchor right now, keeping me grounded despite the turbulent waves of my anxiety.
“I’m terrified.”
“We can feel it.” Zohar’s grip tightens on me. “No matter what happens, Eirik can handle Mr Downey, and I’ll get you out of here.”
My lips part, and I shoot a fear-filled look to my water anima nexum.
“Not what we wanted to achieve, Zohar!” Eirik barks at the water witch. “Mr Downey is not going to do anything to betray us right now, Zoe, I can promise you that. No matter his motives, he’s content to play the long game. We’ve just got to play along.”
I want to trust him—to trust them both—but I can’t shake the feeling that something is going to go wrong.
Mr Downey smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “How have you felt since the maturing, Zoe? Is your magicae stable?”
Before I can answer, Eirik cuts in, his hand pressing down harder on my leg, a silent command to stay quiet. “She’s fine. Zohar kept a close eye on her last night. Everything’s under control.”
Is it really, though? My magicae bristles at the thought of our discovery, and I can’t truly relax. The thought of going to this doctor’s appointment and having them look too closely at me… what if they find out what I am?
What if I can’t control my magicae, and I reveal the truth? What if, what if, what if…
I clutch Eirik’s hand over my knee, trying to stop the trembling in my fingers. What if it all falls apart?
“She’s stable, and her primordium is content,” Zohar adds. “I was by her side for every second, and she responded exactly as Eirik did. I’ve got no concerns that anything is amiss.”
Mr Downey’s eyes narrow. “I want her reviewed by a doctor on campus, as is expected.”
“Is that truly wise?” Eirik counters, and once more, the two of them lock gazes, and a silent battle commences between the two.
“How bad will a doctor’s review be?”
Zohar is tense at my side, but I can’t determine if it’s through annoyance or fear. “I won’t lie, I’m insulted, but it shouldn’t be terrible. It depends on what tests Downey’s going to demand.”
I’m surprised that Zohar has dropped the ‘Mr’ in his name, but at the curl of his lips, his annoyance is clear.
“It’s time,” Mr Downey says. “We can’t continue like this, unfortunately. Zohar, I appreciate that you’ve been helping Zoe through this transition, but until you’ve matured and graduated, you’re not a true healer.”
“No, clearly not,” Zohar bites out.
“I’m confused about why this is necessary,” I say softly, and every eye falls to me.
“You’ve undergone a lot of changes in such a short period of time, and I’m concerned about your physical state,” Mr Downey’s tone is extremely patronising, and I can feel the bristling anger from the men on either side of me, “so we need to get you checked over. The physician will work with you to set up a specialised regime to help you reach your full potential.”
I glance at Zohar’s angry expression, and Eirik’s furious one, before nodding slowly.
“Okay, but why now?” I ask. Mr Downey’s eyebrows raise, a brief flash of surprise being quickly covered. “Would the removal of the twenty-year-old binding spell not also be something that should’ve been professionally checked over?”
“I didn’t mean that as an insult towards you, Zo,” I quickly reassure. “I trust you with more than my life–I trust you with my soul.”
“The highest of compliments.” He brings my hand to his lips and brushes a kiss against my knuckles.
The energy around Mr Downey darkens, and I press further into Zohar’s side and the back of my chair. The knot in my tummy seems to uncoil before tightening into a bigger one.
“Those are some good questions, love,” Eirik says, and if I’m not mistaken, he’s smug . “I don’t have an answer for you.”
“You’re not,” he says silently. “I’m in awe of your brain, darling, and the fact that you’ve called him on his… oversight is something that has rattled him.”
“At the time, we were doing what we thought was best in terms of your protection,” Mr Downey says, and his words are almost overconfident. “But now that you’ve matured, we need to keep up appearances. You’re already drawing too many eyes, and in this kind of situation, you can’t hide from it.” He looks at Eirik. “As I’ve told you, already.”
“Trust me, we know that.”
“I’d like to be apprised of the results of the appointment,” Mr Downey says, leaning back in his chair, but there’s a shift in his demeanour. His posture stiffens, and for a moment, I catch a flicker of something behind his calm facade—something that looks a lot like frustration.
“No,” Eirik says, firm and unyielding. My jaw drops, but I quickly bite my lip, not fully managing to hide my surprise. “Zoe’s patient confidentiality is not up for discussion, and frankly, it’s inappropriate for you to ask. Even if you were still her legal guardian…”
I glance at Mr Downey, whose face falls ever so slightly. He looks at me, pleading silently, but I stay quiet because I don’t want him knowing anything about me.
Mr Downey sighs heavily, the disappointment etched in the lines around his mouth. “I care about you, sweetheart, and your grandma left you in my care because she trusted me. I hope you realise that you can, too.”
Did she really trust the fox?
I swallow thickly, nodding, as I blink back the surge of tears. “I do.”
He nods, but I can see the disappointment in the lines around his face. “Now that your magicae has matured, you’ll need to officially record your magicae type.”
His gaze sharpens, and I can feel the shift of the air in the room, the pressure tightening like a rope around my neck. “Have you figured it out yet?”
Necos’s warning was clearly true. This is what he cares about.
Eirik’s anger surges, his hands clenching into a fist that heats up for a brief second before he relaxes. “Not yet. We’re still working on it.”
Mr Downey’s eyes widen, his shock evident in his expression. “You mean, you’ve emerged and haven’t identified what branch of magicae you harbour yet?” His eyes dart to Zohar’s. “This is why she needs a professional, Mr Rousur. As her healer, you should be doing a lot more about this.”
Zohar’s laugh is bitter. “Zoe’s powerful, and her magicae is controlled. However, having a stage one bond with multiple types is making it harder to identify.”
“You’re all elementals,” he says, waving his hand as if that makes them lesser. “She’s either a light witch, like me, or a time witch like Necos. It’s not hard to figure out.”
“Well, with Necos around her, she’s been exhibiting the traits of a time witch,” Eirik says with a nod. “But her bond with Etrix is making it hard to rule out light.”
Mr Downey tuts, and I’m overwhelmed with the shame that I feel. I don’t like lying, even when I know it’s necessary, but the disappointment in his eyes targets me in a way that I hate.
I shouldn’t care about his opinion.
Especially when I do know what magicae type I am.
My stomach twists painfully as my magicae stirs restlessly inside me, reacting to the rising fear.
“What will happen if we can’t figure it out?” I whisper, my fear evident in my shaky tone. Just because we know, doesn’t mean the world will, and I’m terrified at what Mr Downey’s next steps might be if we continue up this charade.
I clutch at Zohar’s hand under the table, and even the coolness of his presence isn’t enough to temper my anxiety.
“I need you to breathe, love. Keep control,” Eirik says, still using a soft voice. “Trust in us when we say that we’re going to keep you safe.”
“You are our top priority, always.” Zohar’s softness brings tears to my eyes.
I wish they knew that I do trust them, that this isn’t about me questioning their abilities but more about the uncertainty of the situation and the reactions of others that we can’t control.
We’ve got to acquiesce on some issues, to continue keeping our cover, so how much are we going to give up?
“I do understand, and trust me, we’re coming back to this conversation,” Eirik says, squeezing my knee.
“Worst case, we unleash the masses and let them fight for the opportunity to behead your enemies for you,” Zohar teases, and he grins at the horror that fills me. “I wonder whether it’ll be Ciar, Mael, or Ryes to win?”
“Vexus has my vote,” Eirik says.
I have to bite my lip to stop my own grin.
“Are you still listening, Zoe?” Mr Downey calls, and I flinch, not having realised he was speaking. I nod, and he gives me a warm smile. “The next step will be to find an earth witch who has the ability to examine magical roots—someone with radix cognitio .”
He writes something down on his notepad.
Eirik’s jaw tightens, his hand flexing around mine. “Earth witches with that ability are practically extinct. Do you know of anyone with it?”
Mr Downey shrugs. “I’ll have a look into it.”
His green eyes bore into my own, and there’s a haunted look in his eyes that makes me squirm.
“You asked what would happen if we couldn’t identify it, and that’s a situation we can never allow to happen. Telling you it would be bad is a gross under exaggeration, Zoe. If you don’t learn how to control your magicae properly, if you don’t figure out how to ground your primordium …”
He doesn’t finish the sentence, but I don’t need him to. The implications hang heavy in the air, that imaginary rope being pulled so tightly that it cuts off my breath for a second.
“I’m sure it wouldn’t be good,” Eirik echoes, squeezing my hand again. “As soon as we get the medical all-clear, we’ll figure it out.”
“See that you do. Zoe’s got an appointment scheduled with Dr Kunya in an hour.”
“An hour?” I gasp.
“That’s fine,” Eirik says. He turns to me, giving me an indulgent smile, one that is of pure adoration. I know that it’s for Mr Downey’s benefit, though, because it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Getting it over and done with will be the best thing for your anxiety, love. Dr Kunya is wonderful.”
“He is,” Mr Downey says with a nod. “We’re good friends.”
“Oh, that’s good.” Is it? I don’t know.
Zohar’s grip loosens ever so slightly, and when I glance at him, his eyes are glowing a bright blue. I don’t feel his magicae within me, so I don’t know what he’s doing.
“I’ll be in touch later this week to check-in,” Mr Downey says, his gaze lingering on me for a moment longer than necessary. There’s a chill in his eyes, an almost coldness that wasn’t there before. “Please reach out if you need me.”
He looks down at his notepad and starts writing something else, as Eirik tugs me up from the chair. Zohar rises slower than I do, his gaze still on Mr Downey. When nothing else is said, I realise we were dismissed.
“We will,” Eirik replies without sounding sincere at all. His magicae hums protectively around me, a silent but powerful warning.
Eirik opens a portal, ignoring the admonishment from Mr Downey, and tugs me through it. Zohar sticks close to my side, staying silent, and I’m curious what he’s discovered.
I give Mr Downey a wave, as it closes, and his green eyes darken.
He’s worried, and honestly… so am I .