Twenty-Eight
TWENTY-EIGHT
Noble
“L ooking forward to it,” I said to the recruiter and pumped my fist as I ended the call. “Yeah!”
It had finally happened. Tim was the first call I made after being offered the position of CEO for a wine and spirits conglomerate much bigger than my own company. The compensation package was astronomical.
“I got it!” I yelled as soon as Tim picked up.
“That’s great news. See? You kept your nose clean, we controlled the narrative, the award, the charity board. All of that made a great package.”
“I thought it was because I was charismatic?” I joked.
“And smart, right? Smart ass,” Tim teased. “I’m proud of you. I knew you’d land on your feet. I’m almost surprised you haven’t started a new company yourself.”
I was about to say that Holland said the same thing. The blow of losing my company had shaken my confidence. But they were right. I had started and successfully grown one company. I could have done it again.
“Thanks, Tim, for being here through all of it.”
“We should celebrate. And let me know if there’s a spot on the board of directors. I’m thinking it might be time for a change for me as well,” he said.
“That’s not a bad idea.” It would be great to have Tim join my new board. “Just don’t fire me again.” We laughed.
“Speaking of boards. How’s it going with yours?”
“Great! This organization is really changing lives. I’m glad to be a part of it.”
Except for the fact that Holland put me on ice because of it just when things had heated up between us.
“I’m glad you stuck with that. Board involvement is important. Companies look for that in leaders.”
“The recruiter mentioned that. He also said the company wanted to lock me in before someone else snatched me up. Apparently, I’m a good look for their hip new rebrand. How’s the job search going for Push?”
“We’ve got a few great candidates, but don’t want to rush into a decision. Push is a strong brand. Lots of people are vying for the position. We’re going to take our time to find the right fit.”
I thought of Ty. How long would my friend have to hold on just to end up getting his walking papers?
“Let’s get dinner on the calendar so we can celebrate,” I said.
“Send me a few dates that work.”
“Will do.”
I contemplated calling Ty but waited. Instead, I called Holland, prepared to leave a message, since I knew she was at work. I was getting used to her cold shoulder treatment. And she had to be exhausted after partying with her sister and cousin all weekend.
“Hey.” Her voice was low.
“Is this a good time?”
“Um. I have a few minutes. What’s up?”
“Seems like you had a great birthday weekend. Did you enjoy your company?”
“I did.” Her smile was evident in her words.
“Great. I landed a new position.” I told her about the offer.
“How cool. That’s my favorite wine. They’re here in New York?”
“The headquarters, not the vineyards,” I said.
“Oh, that makes sense. Congratulations. I’m so happy for you, Noble.”
“Thanks. Um, I need to talk to you. Will you be home tonight?”
“Yeah. Everything okay?”
I’m hoping it will be. “Sure. What time works for you?”
“How about seven? I’ll probably be asleep by nine. I obviously didn’t get a lot of sleep this weekend with Amy and Patience around.” She chuckled.
“Okay. See you at seven.”
“Okay. Um.” Holland paused. I could hear faint voices in the background. “I need to go,” she whispered. I imagined her shrinking into her chair.
“See you later,” I said.
I wished time away, wanting it to be seven o’clock already. Despite all the work I had to do—filling out documents for the new job and handling board stuff for the agency—the day didn’t move fast enough. Around five, I threw together a pasta dish and chilled some white wine. This conversation was going to require a full belly and something more potent than soda. From six to seven, I checked the window every few minutes.
Holland arrived right on time. She stepped in wearing her fatigue like bad eye makeup yet was no less beautiful. I hugged her. I’d missed the feeling of her in my arms. I took her light sweater and laid it on the back of the couch.
“Hungry? I made dinner,” I said nonchalantly, as if penne alla vodka, kale salad, and freshly roasted garlic on French bread was something I threw together every day. “I have wine too. White or sparkling?” I asked, holding up the bottles.
“Sparkling would be nice.” Holland wasn’t wasting words. I wanted the funny, sweet, Southern-accented version back.
I could tell by the way she watched me move about the kitchen that she wondered why I’d called her.
“Let me make you a plate and we can get down to why I asked you to come by.”
“That sounds good,” she said and continued to sit quietly, hands folded in her lap.
After plating the food, I placed hers in front of her with a glass of prosecco.
Holland lowered her head and said a silent grace. Eating a forkful of pasta, she closed her eyes, shaking her head slowly.
“I missed your cooking.”
“You didn’t have to.”
Holland exhaled and put her fork down.
“Noble.” She wiped her mouth with her napkin. “I need you to understand something.” She took a deep breath. “Life came at me like a fastball. So much happened in such a short time that I felt like I was drowning. Some good. Some…not so good. Suddenly, I had all these decisions to make. It was hard to focus. Being around you made it hard for me to think straight. I got the job, and felt like things were finally coming together, but now there’s so much at stake. I needed space…to think straight.”
And I couldn’t think straight without her. When had I fallen so hard for this woman? “I get that. Which is the reason I asked you here.”
“Is this about my job?”
I put my fork down and looked directly into her eyes, needing her to see my sincerity.
“This is about us.”
Holland looked down at her plate. “I can’t—”
“Let me finish.” I held my hands up.
Her eyes met mine. She dragged in a breath. “Okay.”
“I’m going to leave the board.”
She looked alarmed. “Because of me? No! You love being on the board.”
“Absolutely. I believe in the mission, but more importantly, I believe in what’s possible for us. I want this,” I said, pointing between us. “I can support the agency without being on the board. I can serve on other boards. I want to give us a chance. With me off the board, you don’t have to worry about your boss or job. It’s been hard trying to keep my distance.”
Holland blinked. Her mouth dropped open, but she didn’t speak.
“Say something.” I stood, rounded the island and took her hand. “You can’t tell me you don’t feel this thing between us. There’s no ignoring it. I want to seriously give us a shot. With you, I’ve learned there’s more to life than work. I can love work and have a life at the same time. I want that now—with you.”
“Noble.” She looked confused. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Do you want this?” I tossed the ball back into her court. My stomach knotted as I waited for her to respond. No woman had ever made me feel this way. Holland’s hooks were deep inside of me.
“But we’ve only been, you know, for a short time.”
“I don’t care about how much time has passed. I know what I feel.”
“Noble. I don’t know what to say.”
“Say you’ll give us a shot.”
Holland looked away. Her beautiful bosom rose and fell with every breath. I heard my pulse in stereo through the dense silence. Every second took forever.
“Talk to me, Holland.”
“Noble. I need to think about this. We’re from two different worlds. My life is a tornado right now, spinning out of control, picking up new shit to toss into the mix all the time. I need time. You…” Holland’s mouth opened, but she kept her words inside. She tossed her head back, stared at the ceiling, and sighed. “I just can’t right now.”
I let go of the breath I’d been holding. That wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear. Hiding my disappointment, I cleared my throat and picked up my wine glass. We stewed in the heaviness of the moment as Holland pushed the fork around on her plate. I finished my wine and poured another glass. My appetite dissipated.
“Sorry, Noble.”
With that, Holland got up and left.