Thirty
THIRTY
Noble
“D o you think I’m going to lose my job?” Ty looked to me for an answer.
I paused midbite, put the buffalo wing I was about to consume down, and sighed. “The real question is, what’s your backup plan if you do?”
Ty took a long swig and placed his beer on the coffee table. “I need to figure out something quick.”
“Yeah. You know how these things go. New CEOs clear house and bring in their own teams. I’m already thinking about the team I’m inheriting. I’m hoping there’s a spot for you there.”
“Thanks, man.” Ty sipped again. “It was hard enough with you leaving. I know there will be a slew of changes once the new person is in place. Not sure I’ll make the cut.”
“You probably won’t.” I thought about my conversations with Tim. “What would you like to do? What do you want for you?”
“I’m figuring that out now.”
“What if we started something new?” I blurted before giving it more thought.
Ty’s eyes widened. “Like what?”
“I don’t know. We did it before. We could do it again. And now we know so much more.”
Ty shook his head slowly. “You’re right. Finding investors wouldn’t be an issue.”
The more I thought about starting a new company, the more I liked the idea. If other companies thought I was a great fit to recharge their brands, why not recharge my own?
“We need to really think about this.” Ty’s smile returned, brighter than before. “Figure out what’s marketable, start-up costs, systems, et cetera. Maybe do something new altogether.” Excitement was building.
Ty was doing what Ty did best, strategizing. I was the dreamer, the visionary. Ty put details together like a puzzle to make the vision happen. We made a great team. I was confident that whatever we decided to do, it would be successful. Now I was energized.
“Let’s meet, map some things out, and bring in Tim to get his take.”
“Let’s do it.”
“Yeah, boy!” Ty said as we high-fived.
I was too excited to focus on the game. I texted Tim about my idea to start a new kind of beverage company, and he responded within minutes.
“Tim is in. Said he’s available for dinner Tuesday to hear more,” I told Ty, my fingers tapping across my phone screen. “That good for you?” I asked him.
“I’ll make it happen,” he said. Seconds later, we were confirmed at Brooklyn Chop House—a favorite that I’d been missing lately.
Ty sat back. “What’s up with the girl next door? She sold the house?”
Muscles clenched in several parts of my body at the mention of Holland.
“Uh. Nah. She’s staying.”
Ty sat up. “For real?”
“Yeah.” I tried to be nonchalant.
I felt Ty’s eyes on me, and when I looked over at him, he had one brow raised.
“What?” I laughed.
“You know what. You’re feeling her.”
“Nah… I…” I waved away Ty’s comments and the rest of my sentence.
Ty twisted his lips. “You can’t lie to me, bruh.” He laughed.
And I couldn’t lie. “I tried, dude. We got off to a good start.” I told Ty about the job, Holland’s boss, and about me offering to leave the board. “She put me on ice.”
“So you’re going to just let her go?” Ty shook his head. “I haven’t seen you this into a woman since…” He tilted his head pensively. “Since forever. And I have never seen you want something and not go after it.”
I waved Ty off again and turned to the television. “Nooooo!” I screamed at the running back’s fumble.
Ty was on his feet, punching the air. It was the perfect distraction. We refocused on the game. The Giants were still losing, but I was too excited to be upset. Ty and I yelled at the referees’ calls and judged the coaches from the couch. All of our would-haves, could-haves, and should-haves weren’t going to help the Giants win this one. It was a regular part of our football Sundays.
My phone rang. With eyes glued to the television, I picked up and answered it without looking at the screen.
“Yo.”
“Noble!” The way Tanya cried my name made my blood curdle in my veins. The anguish pierced the excitement like a pin in a balloon.
Suddenly, I was only aware of two things: the wails coming through my phone and the sheer fear that my heart had stopped beating completely.
“Tanya!” I shot to my feet. “Where are you?” My heart found its rhythm again, beating ferociously.
Ty stood beside me, eyebrows knit in concern.
“He… I…the ambulance… I found him…” Tanya could barely push words through her cries.
“Just tell me where you are,” I repeated as calmly as possible.
“H…home.”
Ty moved with me as I paced, catching the words as they fell from my lips. As soon as I said “I’m coming” he pulled his keys from his pockets and said, “I’m driving.”
“The ambulance…” Tanya managed.
“What hospital?”
“L… I… J,” she sputtered.
“Northwell!” I commanded to Ty, referring to the official name of the hospital. He was already walking to the door.
“We’re on our way.”
Tanya sobbed into the phone. I didn’t hang up. I let her cry until I overheard the commotion from the EMTs’ arrival. Their questions came fast. Tanya finally managed full sentences, explaining that she’d come home and found him curled up on the floor, unconscious, with blood crusting his lips. I felt comfortable ending the call once the ambulance hauled my father away.
Ty broke every traffic law from Brooklyn to the hospital on the Queens and Long Island border while I scolded myself for every call I’d ignored. Fear rendered me unable to sit still. I rocked back and forth the entire ride.
I’d forgotten how to feel before Holland came into my life. The sizzle of her touches awakened my sensibilities, and now I ached with feeling. I was a boy again, wanting to see my dad the way I did when he was still my hero. We reached out to each other just enough to make sure we were still alive, both craving more, but not knowing how to say that. Just like with Holland, I wanted more—needed more from my dad. This estrangement was suddenly exhausting.
I silently prayed, Please. Don’t take him yet . He wasn’t perfect, but he was all I had.
We burst through the emergency room doors. Ty retreated to the waiting area while I searched for the bay the woman in intake directed me to. I saw Tanya. She crumpled in my arms, crying into her hands.
I called his name. Dad reached for me. The attendants preparing to wheel him away stepped aside. I placed my hand in his. He squeezed it and shut his eyes tightly. A tear spilled down the side of his face to his ear. When he let go of my hand, I marched through the emergency room, past Ty in the waiting area, and out the door. Outside, I sucked in air, hard and fast. My chest felt like it would burst. I pressed the palms of my hands to my eyes and heaved.
Moments later, I managed to calm myself. Turning back toward the emergency room door, I spotted Ty. He nodded and went to sit back down. Tanya was inside.
The doctors explained that he needed emergency surgery to repair the severe damage to the lining of his stomach.
“Thanks for driving me, Ty. You can go. I’ll find my way back.” There was nothing more we could do besides wait. I wasn’t leaving that hospital until my father was out of surgery.
“Nah, bruh. I’ll be right here.”
I was too choked up to say thanks. Tanya stood by, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. Her eyes, swollen and red, had dark circles underneath.
“Have you eaten anything?” I asked.
“No,” she said without looking up from the ground.
“Let’s grab something.” I wasn’t hungry, but she looked like she hadn’t eaten in days.
The sun had long since tucked itself away and the hospital cafeteria was closed. The easiest option was a diner several blocks away. Inside, the three of us drank coffee and pushed half-eaten meals around on our plates.
“Your father is so proud of you.”
“Yeah.” How would she know?
“He talks about you all the time,” she said as if she heard my thoughts. “Made sure all his friends knew you were the founder of Push.” She looked down at her plate, pushed more food around. Then she looked at me, over to Ty and back at me again before opening her mouth, but said nothing.
Ty took the hint. “I’m gonna make a call. Be right back.”
Whey Ty was out of earshot, she addressed the elephant in the relationship. “I know you never liked me.”
“I never said that.”
Tanya pursed her lips. “Who likes the person who breaks up their home?”
I said nothing.
“I was enamored with that man.” Tanya’s small smile was nostalgic. “We were all enamored. He was one of the guys that all the girls in the office crushed on. None of the electricians wore wedding rings at work. We never knew which of them were married. I’d watch him come and go every day and one day, the weather was horrible. My car broke down, and he offered me a ride home. That’s how it started. That was my chance. I flirted with him so I could go back to the office and brag to the girls. I didn’t know he had a wife and kid until I’d fallen hard enough not to care. I never knew your mother was sick.”
My jaw tightened. I swallowed the brick in my throat threatening to cut off my air.
Tanya looked at me. Her eyes were soft but intense. “I’m sorry.”
No one spoke.
“My dad was a grown man,” I said after a grueling span of silence.
Tanya looked relieved. “He drank a lot when we first got together,” Tanya continued. I wanted her to stop talking. “It wasn’t so bad—the drinking, until…” Tanya’s eyes flitted to me and back down to her plate. “She died. Your mom, I mean. After that, he drank all the time. A few years later, he started having stomach issues. By the time he tried to stop drinking last year, it was too late. He’s been getting sicker ever since.”
Tanya finally stopped talking, taking in the voices and clinks of forks against plates around us. Finishing our coffees, we let the waiter take our barely eaten meals, and headed back to the hospital, and parked ourselves in the waiting area for a few hours.
It wasn’t until Tanya nudged me awake that I realized I’d been sleeping. I blinked away the haze, remembered where I was, and stared at Tanya until she came into focus.
“He’s in recovery,” she whispered. “They said we can go see him.”
I got up, stretched, and righted my clothes. The clock said it was after one in the morning. Ty sat in the corner, head against the wall, still asleep.
“You go first,” she said to me.
I nodded.
An attendant walked me through wide security doors into the recovery area. I stood over my father, grateful that he was alive.
“Noble,” he croaked and held out his hand.
I put my hand in his for the second time in over ten years. “I’m here, Dad.” He exhaled as if he was glad.
“Thanks,” he said, his voice still frail. “Men are stupid.”
“What? What are you talking about?”
“Should have said this a long time ago.” His words were labored. “I’m sorry.”
I put my hands on his shoulder. “Don’t worry about that now.”
“No better time.” He paused to breathe. “I need to…before it’s too late.” He took several slow and steady breaths. I squeezed his hand lightly. “I’m sorry and I…” He took a few more breaths. “I want you back. Can I…” He inhaled, rolled his head to see me better, and exhaled. “Try again?”
The tears I’d held back all evening fell relentlessly. I licked my lips and tasted the salt. “Yeah, Dad. I’d like that.”
By the time Ty dropped me off, it was almost three in the morning. I turned the key in my door and paused. I looked back to Ty and waved, watching him drive off. I thought about his words when we were watching the game.
Closing my door, I walked out of my yard and into Holland’s. This couldn’t wait. I texted and rang the bell several times until Holland’s beautiful sleepy face finally filled her door frame.
“Noble?” Holland covered her yawn, folding her arms over her breasts. “Are you okay?”
“Invite me in…please.” My voice came as a whisper.