Chapter Five
FROM: Pastor Charles Littleton
Sent: Saturday, April 25 2:03 PM
To: Candi Canaberry
Subject: Sad News
Candi:
Longtime member and my personal friend, Woody Travers, passed away this morning. I’ll mention it during church and would like the team to sing In the Garden at some point in worship tomorrow. Perhaps the final hymn. It was his favorite.
Charles
Candi rushed into the church office a half hour before usual. She had two missions. One was to make six copies of In the Garden from the old hymnbook, and the other was to find a glue stick.
She made the copies then slid her belongings onto the counter and then rummaged through Ms. Mattie’s desk drawers.
A member of the hospitality committee passed through the office with the coffee urn. “Can I help you with something, hon?”
“Oh, no ma’am. I just need some fingernail polish or a glue stick or some rubber cement or some paste...”
“Try the elementary Sunday School classroom. Sounds like something they would have in there.”
Like she had time for that. “That’s a good idea. Thanks.”
She tried the large bottom drawer and found a semi dried up bottle of liquid white-out and a can of hairspray. “Just might work.” She headed for the ladies’ room.
That morning she’d pulled on a pale pink suit she hadn’t worn since Easter. Now she remembered why she’d forgotten it. The stylish, tailored jacket with the single large button in the front fit beautifully. The matching pencil skirt with the slit in the back was a little short, so she opted for pantyhose and pumps instead of bare legs and sandals. Big mistake. Because, as she was painfully reminded when she got out of the car, pantyhose catch on anything and everything. Then they run like a house afire. Too late to go home, too uncomfortable and, well, bare , to wear her pumps without hose. She glanced at the time. Right. She wasn’t running to the store either.
Now she stood in a bathroom stall, hiking up the hose as far as they would go without causing the runner to creep farther down her leg. She put her foot on the toilet seat and doused her inner thigh with white-out. For added measure, she sprayed the spot with extra-firm-hold hairspray. If the good Lord loved her even a little bit, the end would stay stuck and wait until church was over to bust loose and streak past her hemline like a runaway train. At least that’s how she prayed it would happen.
Carol Ann met her as she crept up Rocky’s ramp so as to not put any more stress on the runner by climbing the steps.
“You OK?”
“Oh yeah. It’s a pantyhose thing.”
Carol Ann nodded her sincere understanding. “I hear ya. Quit wearing them myself. Got tired of feeling like I had a boa constrictor wrapped around my middle.” She took the copies of In the Garden . “I love this old hymn.”
“I do too, but I’m afraid some of the others won’t be familiar with it.”
The band started to assemble early in order to go over the pastor’s requested song. She’d texted the information about Woody Travers and several links to view In the Garden online, but she never knew for sure who had time to work on these things when they came up last minute. Max would know the song from the same place she did: grandma’s knee and their respective grandparents’ country churches. Rocky was virtually unchurched until two years ago, and Kevin and Kelly seemed to recognize only contemporary worship music.
She had no idea what Shade knew, but if he did know it, she’d never heard him sing. Would he want to take a vocal lead? Carol Ann was the obvious choice as it was one of her favorites too, but she didn’t like to sing lead. By her own admission, she couldn’t remember most melodies because she was so busy finding the needle in the haystack harmony parts no one else could find. Candi smiled. Carol Ann was a genius at that. If she could sing all the parts at one time, she would.
“Lord, help us,” she whispered and prepared to pull everyone in to discuss it and pray.
But Shade had not arrived.
“Anyone seen Shade?”
“Texted me this morning,” Max offered. “He knew what time.”
Rocky rolled toward where they’d form a circle. “That truck may have stranded him somewhere on the side of the road.”
Kelly pointed to the back of the church. “Umm... Isn’t that him back there with Pastor Charles?”
Rocky placed his hand across his brow as if searching a lost horizon. “Yeah. Didn’t recognize him like that.”
“That’s different,” Kevin agreed.
Carol Ann just smiled.
Candi turned so fast to take a look, the hairspray and white-out tugged at her skin. If that ex-Dead Lizard was wearing his fishing fedora or some rock star nonsense, like metallic spandex pants or a strategically ripped t-shirt, she would beat him with his own guitar.
But it wasn’t like that at all. It was much worse.
No, wait a minute, it was much... better ?
He shook the pastor’s hand, picked up his guitar case, and jogged toward the front. The jeans were the same, the boots were the same, but somehow his ponytail had gotten loose. His long blond tresses cascaded behind him and danced on the shoulders of his smooth black blazer.
Candi leaned forward and squinted. Yep, it really was a crisp white dress shirt and a black leather blazer. Was this his idea of dressing up?
Carol Ann clutched her arm. “Kinda looks like a blond version of Daniel Day-Lewis when he was running through the woods in The Last of the Mohicans .”
“Hardly.”
“I’m just sayin’...”
Shade took all three steps in one stride and came to an abrupt stop at their circle. His hair floated down and rested in soft waves around his face. He set down his case. “Sorry. I was here, but couldn’t get away from the pastor.”
Everyone nodded.
“I heard that,” Rocky said. “That guy likes to talk.”
Kevin wasted no time with his curious stare. “Dude. Your hair’s not in a ponytail.”
Candi grimaced. Leave it to one of the Dynamically Oblivious Duo to innocently declare the obvious as if it were breaking news.
“Not today,” he answered and swept one side of the mass over his left shoulder. “Crazy morning at my place.”
“I like it!” Kelly proclaimed with such gusto you’d think it was Christmas.
“Thanks. Yours looks good down too,” he replied, noting the coincidental absence of her ponytail as well.
Kelly turned as red as a stoplight. “Thanks!” It was a shout.
They ended the exchange with an exploding fist bump.
Candi clutched her stomach. Oh, brother. Of all mornings for them both to be without a rubber band. “We need to get started.”
Everyone fell silent.
“First, let’s welcome Shade to his first official worship service.”
Their response was enthusiastic.
“Secondly, as I texted you yesterday, Woody Travers passed away. The rest of the songs will be like we practiced Tuesday night, but we’re going to do In the Garden as a final hymn. Who knows this song?”
Max and Carol Ann responded with a yes.
“I know it,” Shade said.
She turned to Kevin and Kelly. “Did you guys have a chance to take a look?”
“I didn’t,” Kevin admitted.
“I did,” Kelly said. “But it’s not like I can sing it or anything.”
“Rocky?”
“Sorry, Candi.”
The third cup of coffee she’d gulped down churned in her otherwise empty stomach. “I can sing it if I have to, but all my best memories of this song are of a guy leading it with harmony on the chorus.” She turned to Shade. “I know you haven’t done much singing with us yet, but is this one you’re up for? We have time to go through it. It’s in A-flat, but I’d have to at least drop it to F. What about you?”
He took a quick look at the piece of music Carol Ann had passed around the circle. “I think Max should sing it.”
Max stepped back and put his hands up in protest. “Whoa. I play drums and I sing.” He hooked his thumb in his belt loop. “But never at the same time.”
Candi shook her head. “Yeah, that won’t work because he’ll be on the drums.”
“Why does he have to be on drums?” Shade asked.
Someone let out a tiny gasp. Suddenly she was the kid on the playground who was being challenged to fight. Was it her imagination, or had everyone taken a step back to give them room?
She felt her claws come out, but sent up a silent prayer she wouldn’t lose it and say something she’d regret. Sure, they tossed around ideas at practice, but never had anyone called her out in the circle when it was time for her to take the lead and get something done the quickest and most efficient way.
“Why?” she responded. “Because he’s the drummer, that’s why.”
“Sorry. I’m not trying to cause a stink here, but can I make an observation?”
There was a pain on the left side of her face. She tasted blood before she realized she’d bitten the inside of her cheek. Some days she didn’t like to be in charge. There never seemed to be one simple Sunday morning when everything went the way it was supposed to. And now she was at a crossroads of control. There wasn’t time to investigate a hundred options. If she put her foot down and sang the song herself, it would look like she had to have her way. She never wanted the team to feel like that.
But what did Shade know about it? It was his first Sunday, and he was going to jump in and have the one suggestion she never considered? If that were true, perhaps she didn’t belong here anymore anyway.
From her heart of hearts, she felt the tug of an answer to a thousand silent prayers.
Who do you trust, Candi?
I trust you, Lord...
Then trust me.
So she did.
“Go ahead, Shade.”
He pushed his jacket open and rested one hand at his belt. “This song is in six/eight. That’s a slow waltz tempo. There’s not much Max can do with that on the drums and it’s gonna end up sounding like a tired country version of a classic hymn. Especially with two acoustic guitars in a waltzing strum pattern.”
Candi stood straight and met his gaze. “What do you suggest?”
“No drums. Let Max sing. Rocky can hit the bass notes a little heavier on the first and fourth beats of the measure to keep it alive. Full harmony on the chorus. Kevin can pick, and you can add piano.”
“What are you and Kelly going to do?”
Rocky snorted into his hand. “They’re gonna retire to the ladies’ room and discuss ponytail techniques.”
The group dissolved into rollicking laughter as she lost all control of the situation.
Rocky caught his breath and immediately began his plea for mercy. “I’m sorry, Candi.”
But he didn’t look too repentant as he dipped his head and struggled not to snicker.
“That’s enough, guys,” she ordered. “Let’s get this done.”
Carol Ann pulled a compact out of her pocket and checked below her eyes for smeared mascara. “Just tell us what to do.” She snapped it closed.
“He’s right,” Candi said. “Max will do a great job. Shade and Kelly can sit this one out. Sometimes less is more in worship.” She headed for the keyboard. “Let’s give it a try and then we’ll pray.”
With each step, her pantyhose moved. She didn’t have to look to know the runner had come free and raced to her ankle.
Kevin came up beside her a moment later and tapped her shoulder, even though she knew he was there. “Hey, Candi.”
“Yes?”
“You have a hole in your hose.”
Shade piled two apple-filled jelly doughnuts on his napkin and joined Rocky in the corner of the hospitality room.
“One service down, one to go. How do you think that went?”
Rocky took a swig of water. “Great. You were right about In the Garden .”
Max and Kevin approached. They’d taken a whole box of pastries off the table.
“What’d we miss?”
Rocky changed positions in his chair. “Shade was just about to tell us about his fishing trip with our fearless leader.”
Kevin licked icing off his fingers. “You went fishing with Pastor Charles?”
“Not that leader, the other one. Candi.”
Kevin actually looked speechless.
Max leaned in. “How’d it go?”
“Had a good time. She knows what’s she’s doing. Caught some fish too.”
“How many fish?”
“Not enough for dinner, but it was a respectable catch.”
“Anything good size in that pond?”
Shade leaned against the wall. “We didn’t catch anything worthy of mounting over the fireplace, but I think there’s some pretty big catfish in there.”
Max pulled another doughnut from the box. “You goin’ again?”
“Don’t know. She seemed OK about it yesterday, but she hasn’t said a word to me today. We’ll see.”
Rocky tucked his bottle of water into the side of his chair and motioned for Kevin to pass the box. “I wouldn’t let that worry you. She’s all business on Sunday mornings. She has a lot on her mind.”
“Same way on campus,” Kevin added. “Some students say she’s cold, but once they get to know her, they like her. She gets four and five stars on the Rate Your Professor website.”
“Out of how many possible stars are we talkin’ here?” Rocky asked.
“Five.”
“OK, just checking.”
Shade recalled the look on her face in the circle when he’d inadvertently challenged her. “I don’t think she’s too happy with me this morning anyway. Like I said, we’ll see.”
“Aw, she’ll lighten up,” Max assured him. “She’s actually pretty funny. You’ll see today when we go out to lunch after church.”
“I can’t make it today.”
“Seriously? This is your first Sunday. We were gonna buy you lunch.”
“I had something come up.”
“Next week, then.”
Rocky handed the box back to Kevin. “Hey, while we’re all here I need to ask you guys to pray about something.”
There was a sudden change in the men’s demeanor. Like the good friends they were, Max and Kevin trashed the box and turned their full attention to Rocky.
Shade was honored to be included. Having come from a place where everyone wanted to be his friend only to party with the band, he was genuinely moved to experience true camaraderie—and a connection he hadn’t felt since Pete died.
“What’s up, Rock?”
“I’ve been contacted by a counselor at a Christian youth camp. He wants me to come and talk about my injury, my recovery, my faith, and all that. He says the kids need to hear from Christian men with challenges. He says I’m a role model. Can you believe that?”
Max huffed out a breath. “What’s there to pray about? This is a no-brainer. You have to do it.”
“I can’t do it. I’m no public speaker. I’d forget to set my brake and roll off the stage or something embarrassing like that.”
“You’re shortchanging yourself, Rock. You know you’re a comedian at heart. You’ll have those kids in the palm of your hand. And you have a great testimony.”
“When would you do it?” Shade asked.
“He said I could pick my day and time.”
“That’s good. Your work hours are flexible, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Are they going to pay you?” Kevin’s question, of course.
“I think so. And he also said that over the summer new campers start every Sunday, so he’d want me to come at least once a week.”
“Aw, man, you gotta do it. Just think of all the people you’ll reach. And this could lead to speaking gigs all over the place. Church youth groups, stuff like that.”
“Don’t get ahead of the guy in the wheelchair, OK? I don’t know yet. Just pray. And don’t tell anyone, because I don’t know if it’s going to work out.”
“Sure, buddy.”
Shade felt a bubble of anxiety form in his gut. He needed prayer too. Did he dare ask them for it?
“Uh...I have a request also.”
“Now’s the time,” Max answered. “Whaddaya got?”
“You guys kinda know where I come from, right? You know how the band ended, and about my accident?”
They exchanged glances and didn’t immediately speak. Kevin began to study the ends of his tennis shoes rather than look Shade in the eye.
“We think we know,” Rocky said. “We figured you were here for a reason and decided we wouldn’t press you on any of that. It’s your business.”
“Yeah,” Max added. “We all followed the band. We know you were in a car accident with Pete and he died. We know you were in pretty bad shape.”
He wasn’t a bit surprised Max knew about Pete. Pete was the drummer all other drummers wanted to be. And he was sure whatever they didn’t know, they’d gone home to look up after they first met. Though the band’s official website had been removed following Pete’s death and the collapse of the band, there were a multitude of blogs, reviews, interviews, and news reports about Dead Lizard Highway. Some of it wasn’t so flattering.
“I was in bad shape. I had to deal with the physical injuries, the grief, my problems with alcohol. But that’s not what I need prayer about.”
They exchanged glances again.
“So, what do you need?” Rocky asked.
“While I was still in the hospital, I found out my girlfriend was pregnant. My daughter was born in late October. She’s six months old. I’ve never met her, but her mother said I could meet her today.”
Shade took a deep breath as the burden that had him bent almost to the ground lifted from his shoulders. Now he understood about sharing needs with fellow believers and asking for help. He felt better already.
But the heavy dose of his reality seemed to sit in the guys’ laps like a six-hundred-pound gorilla.
“Wow,” Rocky said. “Forget my request. Let’s just pray for Shade.”
“Dude.” Kevin smirked and rolled his eyes. “I think God can handle them both.”
Max shot them his stop-being-morons look and put his hand on Shade’s upper arm. He stepped closer. “What about the baby’s mother? Are you... I mean... Are you trying to put your family back together?”
“No. She’s moved on. Waaaay on. She married a guy from around here. They live over there in Oak Manor.”
“That’s why you came back here,” Kevin observed.
“Yep. I got well, I got sober, and I came home to start fresh and be a part of my daughter’s life.”
“And the new husband? He’s OK with this?”
“I think Jess—that’s the mother’s name—made it clear from the beginning she wanted to leave that door open for me. I don’t know. We’d been talking on the phone trying to work out some boundaries and, all of a sudden, I get a phone call this morning that I should just come over for lunch after church and we’ll all talk. It’s crazy.”
“Sounds like God is already working.”
“What’s the baby’s name?” Kevin asked.
“Rachel.”
“And you’re sure you’re the father?”
Rocky’s arm flew out like a soccer mom in a minivan and punched him in the arm. “Really, Kevin? Was that necessary?”
“ Oouuch !” He rubbed his shoulder. “He’s a rock star, isn’t he?”
“Sorry, Shade.” Max scrubbed his hands across his face. “The boy just ain’t right in the head sometimes.”
Shade laughed. “No worries.”
Max held his hand out and started counting things off on his fingers. “So we’re praying for Rocky to find God’s will about his speaking request, and for Shade’s meeting to go well today, and that he and Rachel’s mother can reach some sort of understanding about visitation and all that. Right?”
“Right,” they all agreed.
“God can do anything,” Rocky said. “Your baby will be makin’ a name for herself in the nursery here in no time.”
“And don’t worry,” Max added. “Despite Kevin’s tendency to blurt out the first thing that comes to his mind, we’ve got your back. No one will hear about this from us.”
“Thanks, but it’s no big secret. I know I’m new here and people don’t know me that well, but it’s not like I’m trying to hide anything.”
Candi rounded the corner. Shade cleared his throat to signal the others as she approached.
“Sorry,” she said as the tight circle opened up for her. “Didn’t mean to barge in to the boys-only treehouse. I can come back.”
Max grabbed her arm. “Get over here. What’s up?”
“I need to check with Kelly, but while you’re all here, what do you think of practicing on Mondays for the new youth service?”
Rocky, Max, and Kevin all looked clueless. It was clear they hadn’t given any more thought to the new youth service Pastor Charles ordered. If Candi wasn’t there to keep them organized, Shade suspected the church’s music program would have long ago flown off the rails.
“Never mind. I’ll email you all next week.”
“I can’t do Mondays,” Shade said. “I already have a commitment that night.”
“Oh. OK. We’ll work something out. Umm... Shade, can I have a minute?”
He pushed away from the wall. “Sure.”
He ignored Kevin’s wiggling eyebrows and Max’s kissing noises as he walked away. He didn’t want to know what Rocky was doing.
“We’re gonna go ahead and take care of that prayer,” Max called after him.
“Thanks, guys.”
They stepped into a room nearby. Candi walked to the middle with her head held high and her arms stiff at her sides. It was like General Patton in a little pink suit. Yes, she was a stunner in her perfect clothes and perfect hair, but he’d take the girl from the pond any day of the week.
“I’m sorry if I was out of line this morning,” he started before she could. “Didn’t mean to question you in front of the band.”
“Don’t apologize. Your idea was the right one. It turned out great.” She paused and clasped her hands behind her back. She did Patton better than Patton. “I’m sorry too.”
His hearing must be going. It was a real possibility after all the blaring speakers he’d sat too close to. “Sorry?”
“Yes.”
“Why are you sorry?”
“It occurred to me after I got all worked up about everything this morning that if I’d just asked your opinion in the first place, I wouldn’t have lost any sleep over it.”
“I’m not following.”
“Pastor Charles believes God sent you here to be a part of this music program. He also thinks I could use some help with it. He might be right. When I got that last minute change, I should’ve just picked up the phone and brainstormed some ideas with you. But I’m not used to having help. I love this group, but they’re not interested in the details. They’re talented, but they just want to show up and worship. They don’t want to plan, or arrange music, or get those last minute requests.”
“I never said I wanted to do that either. I’ve told the pastor several times I’m not a worship leader.”
She shrugged and leaned against a table along the wall. “Doesn’t appear to matter. You’ve apparently asked for God’s will in your life, and he’s apparently tossed you into the middle of something here. He had to have been the one, or it wouldn’t be working.”
“Why are you so sure it’s working?”
“You’re here, aren’t you? You keep coming back. You have good ideas. Get used to it. You’re a leader in this group, and you’re about to be a part of the launch of that new youth service. That’s really big.”
Big? For his own survival, he knew he needed to be a part of something. He never meant for it to be big, or important or anything more than sitting in the same pew in church every week. Yet each time they talked, his role seemed to grow. And while Candi praised him for what he considered a basic idea, the facts became clear. God had thrown him into the middle of something, but he didn’t understand any of it.
He rocked on his heels. “I’ll do what I can to help. I told you that.”
She stood and tugged her jacket into place. “I appreciate it.”
She brushed past him to make another quick getaway. Seemed she always flitted out of a room before the conversation really ended. Maybe he wanted to say something once in a while.
In a moment of pure insanity, he reached for her hand as she flew by. “Hang on a minute.”
To say she looked shocked as she turned around would be an understatement, and while she didn’t pull away as he suspected she would, she didn’t hold on either.
He let her soft, thin fingers slip from his.
She again clasped her hands behind her back. “Did you need something else?”
“Uh...” He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced at the ceiling. No answers there. “Just wanted to say thanks again for coming out to the pond with me yesterday.”
“Thanks for inviting me.”
His moment of insanity had become permanent. He couldn’t seem to stop himself. He stepped closer, she didn’t step back.
“I like spending time with you, Candi. I think we should do it again.”
She blinked three times as she looked up into his eyes. Her puzzled frown softened into a curious gaze. She tilted her head. “Why?”
Uh-oh.
Leave it to a woman to ask the most ridiculous question at the most ridiculous time. Never had he met one who could leave well enough alone. “Why what?”
“Why do you like spending time with me?”
He went with the truth. “Because you’re grounded, and that makes me feel grounded.”
The corner of her mouth twitched as she considered his response. This would be a whole lot more comfortable if he had any idea how to read her.
“Thanks,” she said softly. “I like spending time with you too, Shade.”
He wasn’t about to ask why.
Somehow, he didn’t think she’d be able to tell him anyway.