Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
Honey
Bren was doing her best to ignore me, but it wasn’t working, which delighted me. I was going to crack that hard candy shell around her if it was the last thing I did.
There had to be a gooey soft center underneath and I wanted to taste it. I wanted to gorge myself on it.
The need to see her soft underbelly was intense. More intense than I was willing to admit. Bren was a challenge, and I wanted to win.
She’d finally talked to me. Reluctantly, but it was something. Progress. Slow and hard-won progress.
And then she’d called me “dangerous” in a way that made my face go numb and my clit throb between my legs like a heartbeat. I couldn’t help but respond in kind and my words came out flirtier than I’d intended. Oops.
To be fair, Bren was sexy. So sexy she made my eyes cross. Her crop top left a sliver of pale belly exposed that I wanted to lick and taste and leave my mark on. Don’t even get me started on her legs in those shorts. I almost had to sit on my hands so I wouldn’t reach out and touch her.
She was every sexual fantasy I’d ever have come true and she was sitting right there .
Friend. Bren needed a friend. Not someone who was going to constantly think about getting her legs on either side of my face.
I’d never had to reel in my libido this bad. Hell, I didn’t need to reel it in. I needed to put it in a cage with multiple locks.
Lock it up, Honey.
Bren managed to keep her comments to herself as I finished my onion rings and she at the rest of hers.
We each wiped the grease off our fingers and sat there for a minute before Bren grabbed at the trash and escaped me to throw it away.
“Ice cream?” I asked when she got back.
“I really need to get back to work,” she said, and I almost opened my mouth to beg her not to leave yet.
Pathetic. This woman made me absolutely pathetic.
“We agreed, remember?” I managed to get out.
Bren huffed. I’d never met anyone who sighed as much as she did. Or maybe she just sighed around me. I think I would have noticed if she did it with her customers.
“Fine,” she said, as if I was walking her to the gallows and not steering her toward the ice cream shop.
“Wanna share a brownie sundae?” I asked, just to see her reaction.
Her eyes widened and she gave me an “are you fucking serious?” look that made me burst out laughing.
“No? Then all the more for me,” I said, stepping up to the window and ordering a brownie sundae with coffee ice cream, whipped cream, nuts, and extra cherries.
I heard Bren muttering under her breath before she ordered a dish of black raspberry with chocolate sprinkles.
We walked together with our ice cream, even though it was a challenge to eat a brownie sundae and make sure I didn’t trip at the same time. Bren and I strolled to the end of the pier where a man was playing songs on an accordion while people watched and a few danced.
“I can play the accordion,” I told Bren.
She turned and raised her eyebrows.
“I told you my mom can play just about any instrument and that talent didn’t pass down to me, but I did manage to learn the accordion at the least.”
“Why are you telling me this?” she asked, and I stared as she flicked her tongue across her spoon. Eating ice cream wasn’t helping with my raging libido, that was for sure. Bad idea. I should have picked a less sexual dessert. There was too much tongue involved in ice cream. Too much licking. Made my pussy get ideas.
“Because we’re having a conversation. And I thought you might find it interesting.”
Bren scoffed, but I had her number. She was starting to like me, against her will. I’d take it.
“Why would you want to play the accordion?”
I watched a little girl execute a twirl to the music, her skirt flaring around her. She reminded me of Ellie.
“Why not? I thought it was very chic and Parisian when I was younger.” The kids at school had quickly disabused me of the idea that the accordion was cool, but I’d never let that kind of talk bother me. People had always thought my family was strange and our names were odd, so I was used to not fitting in with my peers.
Bren snorted. “I guess.”
An older couple started dancing together and it was so sweet that I sighed.
“I want that,” I said, not realizing for a moment that I’d spoken aloud.
“Mmm,” Bren said, her sound disapproving. Bren went back to focusing on her ice cream and I softly swayed back and forth to the music. If both our hands weren’t busy with ice cream, I would have asked her to dance. She would have said no, but maybe I could have talked her into it.
“How’s your ice cream?” I asked.
“Fine,” she said, but she was scraping her spoon in the bowl to get the last remnants.
“Want a bite of mine?” I asked, loading my spoon up and holding it out to her.
“No,” she said immediately. God, it was fun to wind her up.
“Your loss,” I said, eating the bite and savoring. This was exactly what I’d needed. A brownie sundae and Bren. Even if she was a total grump.
“It doesn’t bother you?” she asked after she’d tossed the empty bowl into one of the trash cans.
“What doesn’t bother me?”
“Me not wanting to talk to you.”
I had the last few bites of my sundae before I answered.
My answer was simple and easy. “No.”
She leaned closer, as if she was drawn toward me. “Why not?”
“Because I know that you really want to.” I’d watched her hold back a response so many times. It was getting harder for her the longer she was with me.
I loved it.
Her mouth dropped open and she stared at me for a few seconds before letting out a little choking noise and turning away, but I saw the smile she was desperately battling with make a brief appearance on her face.
Bren crossed her arms and glared at the ocean. At least, I assumed she was glaring from behind her sunglasses.
She’d definitely been using them to try and hide. It was a shame I didn’t get to see her gorgeous eyes, but I guess I couldn’t have everything today.
“You’re different than I thought you’d be,” she said, her voice so quiet that I almost didn’t hear her over the accordion music and the call of the seagulls who were battling over scraps from the trash cans.
“How so?” I asked, a little terrified of the answer.
“I don’t know. Just…different.”
I didn’t know what to do with that.
“Do you want to get out from under the sun?” Bren had the pallor of someone who didn’t get outside that much.
“I need to go,” she said, and I was struck with the desire to reach out and give her a hug. To pull her in and hold her for a little while. She’d be stiff at first. Not used to the contact. But something told me she’d just melt if given the chance, like ice cream left in the sun.
“Sure,” I said, not willing to beg or let her know how desperate I was for even another minute of her company. Being with her made me giddy and nervous and fluttery and terrified.
“Are we even now?” she asked, crossing her arms and frowning. “Because you definitely spent more than twenty dollars on me today.” I had, but it didn’t matter.
“That’s okay. You’ll just get me back next time.” She stiffened with shock and I laughed again.
“There’s not going to be a next time,” she said through clenched teeth.
“There will be.” Where this well of confidence I’d dipped into had come from, I didn’t know, but I was going with it.
Bren scoffed. “Bye, Honey.”
“Bye, Bren. See you on Thursday.”
She shook her head and walked away from me. As much as I wanted to catch up and walk her to her car, I held back. Let her have her way this time.
I still watched her walk away, wishing I could burn the image of her in my retinas permanently.
God, I wanted to bite that ass.
Friendship. We were working on friendship .
Mentally slapping myself, I waited until she was out of sight and then went to get a second brownie sundae. I was going to need it.
Mom and Ellie were in the garden when I got back home.
“How are my babies doing?” I asked as they checked on my jalapenos.
“They’re doing very well,” Mom said, wiping her arm across her forehead and smearing dirt everywhere. She wore old and faded overalls and a ratty flannel shirt, and Ellie was matching her. Adorable.
I crouched down beside them. “Looks like we can do another harvest in a week or so. Next year maybe we can grow some hotter peppers and make an extreme hot honey for people who are adventurous.”
It wasn’t exactly consistent with our brand, but it could still be fun to make a very small batch and maybe sell them online as an experiment before we tried at the marketplace.
“How was your date ?” Ellie asked, smirking at me as she adjusted her kid-sized gardening gloves.
“It wasn’t a date,” I said, and Mom laughed under her breath.
“Then why did you dress up?” Ellie asked.
I narrowed my eyes and pretended to glare at her. “Children should be seen and not heard.”
She just cackled and Mom sat back and enjoyed herself.
I stood up and dusted my hands off. “I’m going to check on the chickens and ducks.”
“Darling, not wearing those shoes,” Mom pointed out. Right. I was still wearing the outfit that I’d put on to see Bren.
Huffing with annoyance at my nosy family, I went up to my apartment to change into my regular clothes.
Once I had my farm clothes on, I did go out to check on the chickens and the ducks and make sure Dad was good as he packed a bulk order for a wedding. Several times we’d had people reach out to us to do favors for various events, so I’d found tiny jars and had designed custom labels. It had been time-consuming but fun.
“Everything good?” I asked as he carefully loaded up the boxes with the jars and enough padding so they wouldn’t break. The wedding planner was picking them up tomorrow.
“This is the last box,” he said.
“Sounds good,” I said, nodding as I leaned on the counter.
“Something on your mind, Bea?” Dad had always called me Bea.
“No, not really.” That was a big bold lie.
“Hmm,” he said, focusing on his task.
“You and Mom started out as friends, right?” I asked.
He glanced up and I was hit by how he and Ellie had the exact same warm brown eyes.
“We did…” he said slowly, not sure why I was bringing that up.
“When did you know that you loved her?” My parents talked about falling in love all the time, but Dad had always said he’d known from the beginning.
Dad set the jars down and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms. “I knew the moment she smiled. It was like…time stopped. And I knew nothing would ever be the same after seeing it. She was just there, across the room from me at a terrible party that I’d wanted to leave for at least an hour. And then there she was. I don’t even remember walking toward her.”
His voice took on a dreamy quality.
All my life, I’d known that my parents were really and truly in love and I’d known that I would accept nothing less than that for myself.
And then I’d fallen in love and gotten my heart broken over and over again and it hadn’t been like that at all.
What was wrong with my heart? Why couldn’t it pick the right person to throw all my affection and devotion at? All I wanted was someone who loved me even close to the level I loved them. Someone who wasn’t scared of all of me.
“Does that help?” Dad asked after several moments of silence.
I put a smile on my face. It was easy to do. “Yeah, that did help. Thanks.” I gave him a hug and went back inside to check the online orders and update our social media accounts.
How has the rest of your day been? I sent to Bren. I wasn’t sure if she’d answer, or if she was totally sick of me for the day.
I decided not to worry about it and check in with Bibliofile by sending her a funny meme about romance readers.
Hey, I was just going to write to you. Have you read this one? She attached a link for a book.
No, I haven’t yet. I know everyone loves it, so I’m wary of all the hype. Worried it won’t live up to expectations.
It had happened to me before with a wildly popular sapphic book that I thought was just okay, but not life-altering. Only Bibliofile knew my true opinions on that one.
Hmmm. Now I don’t know if I should go for it.
We talked some more about books and I really wished I could ask her for advice about Bren. I knew she’d have something good to say to me about it, but I didn’t know how to tell her about Bren. It felt…wrong. Not that she knew I had a crush on her and on Bren, but still. It wasn’t anything close to cheating, but my stomach tied itself into knots anytime I thought about it.
So I didn’t tell Biblio about Bren and conversed with her while I waited to see if Bren was ever going to talk to me again.