15. Quinn
Chapter 15
Quinn
T he podcast host signs off, and I realize I missed the whole interview. I sigh, take off my headphones, and pause the next episode from playing.
I’ve been engrossed in the show all weekend, but this morning, I can't seem to focus. I teased Nash that he was being overprotective when he wanted to stay and fly with me instead of going with Dane to close on the new house and get started on repairs. Despite thinking he was being silly, I compromised and crashed at my brother’s pack house over the weekend so I wouldn’t be alone while I tied up our loose ends. The joke is on me. It seems as though maybe my decision not to travel with one of my mates was too hasty. I’ve been feeling off, and I could use a Nash nap-cuddle fueled by his soothing purr.
The guy in the window seat next to me shuffles, and I move to let him around and into the aisle. I’ve got a whole day of flying and layovers to try to get my head on straight, but so far, it’s a mess.
There are a million things to do at the new place before I start working at the downtown clinic next week, and I haven’t even properly seen the house yet.
I’m already worried about how Nash is handling being in a place where his past looms so close. He’s got deep wounds that never healed right, and I’m torn about him going back, concerned it could end in disaster.
Dane dragged us all into this on a whim, buying the house sight unseen and resigning from his assistant coach position at Colton University to take the spot as head coach for his old high school. But despite all the upheaval of the last few weeks, I trust him to lead our pack, and I’m trying to get behind this move.
Even with all that clouding my head, I’m also freaking out over a woman I met on the internet.Raven is… She feels like mine already.
But she isn’t, numb nuts . I can’t seem to get that fact through my thick skull. It’s taking every ounce of control I have not to do something totally reckless and find her.
I have her number. It would be so easy. Because nothing says “green flag” like becoming her stalker. Jail time. That’s what I’m facing. And Raven’s broken trust.
I throw my head back against the seat and groan. My alpha mates have been supportive about my obsession with the quirky artist, encouraging me to offer her to come for a visit.But for all Raven’s natural sass and fire, she snaps back into her shell when we hedge toward the next steps.
Take a hint.
I’m not so much of an egotistical ass that I haven’t considered the possibility that she’s just not into me. That’s definitely a logical conclusion. But my omega instincts are telling me she’s my mate and she’s been hurt badly in the past.The last thing I want to do is pressure or manipulate her into doing something she’s not ready for. That means I have to figure out a way to give her what she needs and accept that this may be all she’ll ever want.
I’m shit at it.
I should be giving all my attention to my pack. We have a lot going on. But I can’t help but feel as though Raven should be here when we start over—that she’s part of my pack and she’s missing. It’s delusional to think she would pick up her whole life for a pack she’s never met.It doesn’t change the fact that I want it.
My chest constricts, and at first, I think I’ve stressed myself out enough to give myself heart palpitations, but then Nash’s bond snaps with a surge of anger before snuffing out.
I sit up, frantic, but it doesn’t matter. I’m only an hour into a twelve-hour travel day.
The woman in the seat on the other side of the aisle asks worriedly, “Are you okay, honey?”
No, but the lie, “I’m fine,” spills from my lips.
This isn’t the first time Nash has muted the bond. He’s done it plenty when he thinks he should hide his sadness or his bouts of anger. It used to happen often after we first bonded. He was so unhappy then, hiding the fact that he could barely read while drowning in self-loathing and failing grades.
Our pack bonded quickly—way too soon for my papa’s liking—but I never wanted a long courting or whatever my parents had in mind. I knew that a full courting season wasn’t for me. I was driven and determined to prove I could make it, navigating a busy schedule for my work scholarship and volunteering at the clinic. I didn’t attend a traditional omega academy, instead opting for a co-ed university. To earn a spot in the physical therapy doctoral program, I needed to be twice as good as everyone else so I could secure one of the limited allotments for omegas, and that didn’t leave time for a drawn-out courting.
Maybe we rushed into it before everything was settled, but I’ve never regretted it. I was sure Nash was mine the first time I saw him. I didn’t see a reason to wait, especially when I realized Dane was mine too.
The first time I met Nash, he was sitting in the library—backward in the chair and fiddling with his ball cap. That day he was a total asshole, storming out of his mandatory tutoring session the football team was requiring before we were even introduced. It took Dane almost a week to get him back, but when he did, the three of us realized I was their scent match. We were inseparable after that and bonded by the end of our first heat together.
Nash’s bond cloaking doesn’t ever last long, but it hasn’t happened in at least two years. The fact that he’s only been in Knotty Pines for a weekend and is already cloaking doesn’t bode well.
Another shooting pain steals my breath. This time, it isn’t the silent bond—it’s Dane’s.
Panic rises, and I check my phone, but I know I won’t get any information until I land at the layover.
What the actual fuck is happening to my mates?
My leg bounces with a sense of urgency I’m not at liberty to entertain, and my mind sends me an avalanche of worst-case possibilities. Please let them be all right , I chant over and over as I watch the minutes tick down on my phone.