Chapter 26 Rachel
RACHEL
Iwill not cry. I will not cry. This is the mantra on repeat in my head as I walk over the broken glass and debris that had once been Rosco’s beautiful home.
I pass Luke at the entry. He reaches out to comfort me, but I ignore him and keep walking.
I can’t take kindness at the moment, or I’ll fall apart, which I refuse to do.
I’d overheard the fight between Rosco and Enos.
I’d also heard what Rosco had said to Bo.
I’d decided, then and there, I will not fight it.
He isn’t going to fight for me, for us, so I’ll go with my dignity.
I’d grabbed my duffle from his room and my gun from the closet floor.
Mercifully I hadn’t unpacked it last night, being too occupied with other things.
Dalton, being the sweetheart he is, doesn’t say a word as we leave. He hurries ahead of me to open the passenger side door of one of the Invictus Company’s SUVs. He lands in the driver’s seat moments later and puts the vehicle in reverse to back out of the driveway.
Rosco doesn’t come out to watch us leave, unlike the rest of the men. Even Enos, who just had a knockdown, drag out fight with his brother, gives us a chin lift as we pass, while pinching his nose to stem the flow of blood.
Even though my heart is breaking, I manage to keep it together. Breathing deeply, I begin counting in my head. It centers and calms me. The end of Rosco and Enos’s fight plays on repeat in my head.
I know Enos was just pissed and lashing out to hurt Rosco with his words, but those words have indirectly hurt me, too. Enos just confirmed every doubt Rosco has had about us.
If we are successful in getting my brothers back and removing the threat from my stepfather, I’ll never be able to convince Rosco he’s wrong when his own damn brother just said every fucked-up thing Rosco’s had going on in his head. I’ve lost the war before the first battle has even begun.
It's for the best. I know this, but a growing part of me had hoped…no, had wanted things to be different. Different for me, different for him. I’d roll my eyes for letting myself believe we had a chance, but I don’t have the energy. I’m completely spent. I have nothing left to give, not right now.
Nicky and Ricky are my priority. Finding out where Reginald is holding them is paramount. My mind races with possibilities. He could’ve taken them back to Lawrence’s, but I don’t think he’d do that. He’ll be focused on getting them back to Chicago where he can groom them to be what he wants.
Nausea rolls through me, but I will my stomach to settle. I don’t have time for weakness. I have to be strong. They need me.
Thankfully Dalton is the quiet, reflective type most of the time anyway. He doesn’t seem to need to fill the silence with mindless chatter, nor does he attempt to get me to ‘talk about it’. He doesn’t try to bullshit me into not worrying about the twins or what might be happening to them.
Thirty minutes later, we arrive at Luke and Marley’s beachfront home. It’s a place I’ve always loved visiting, but it doesn’t have the same appeal today. My brothers are in the wind, and a certain sexy man, who gave me the best orgasms of my life, isn’t here.
Having had time to think on the ride over, I know what I need to do.
I have to locate the boys, get them away from Reginald, and then we need to get the hell out of Dodge.
I need my van. It’s still sitting in Baby Girl’s parking lot where Rosco had insisted I leave it yesterday when he kidnapped me for the catering event.
Dalton parks in the driveway, but before he can get out, I reach over and place my hand on his forearm. “Will you do me a favor?”
Our eyes meet. He studies me a minute, but then nods, again without words. “Is it possible to have someone go by the restaurant and bring my van here?” Another intense stare. I can tell he’s working something out in his mind, but eventually he nods.
He pulls his phone from his back pocket typing out a quick text. Then he exits and comes around the SUV. He helps me out of the monstrosity of a vehicle. What’s with all the company tanks?
Yeah, I know it’s an SUV, but they are huge, and I’m pretty sure they’ve had some serious modifications. The doors are heavier and thicker than average. Are they bullet proof?
“Rachel!” Marley calls from the front door, ending my musings. Before I can stop her, she hurries to wrap me up in her warm embrace. “Are you all right? Luke said there’d been an attack on Rosco’s house?”
I fight tooth and nail not to cry while absorbing strength from her concern, but it’s a losing battle. Just hearing his name has my eyes watering. It’d be so easy to let go with my chosen sister, but I can’t. I won’t. This beautiful fantasy we’ve been living in is over. It’s past time to move on.
“Hey, Marley,” I reply, pulling away from her and stepping back. It hurts putting distance between myself and the woman who’s been so good to me. “I’m fine. It was crazy there for a bit, but the team took care of everything.”
“Where are the boys?” Marley looks past me, expectantly, to the SUV.
“They were at Jason’s,” I say, managing to keep my voice steady. “His place was hit, too, and the boys were taken.” It hits me that I never got updated about what happened. I don’t even know if Jason is alive. My eyes fly to Dalton’s, who is standing next to me.
“Jason has some minor injuries, but he’s fine,” Dalton informs us, turning to Marley. “He’ll be over later, and we’ll make a plan to get the boys back. Kelvin is working on tracking the vehicle they left in.”
I can’t talk or think about it. If I do, I’m going to break down in hysterics which can’t happen, right now. The boys need me. That’s the only thing I can focus on. Getting them back as soon as possible.
“What happened to your hands?” Marley askes staring at them.
I’d mostly forgotten about my poor hands.
The neat bandage Rosco had applied to my burn is dirty and coming loose.
My right hand is oozing blood from the cut where the glass had gotten me.
I don’t know where or when I lost the kitchen towel he’d wrapped around it.
“It’s been a shit day,” I say with a shrug, not really answering her question. She gives me a hard look. Then she leads me into the house and sets me down at the dining room table. Dalton appears with a first-aid kit in hand. He and Marley gang up on me, each taking a hand to clean my injuries.
I sit stoically while they work. At first, Marley attempts to ask me questions about what went down, but I don’t answer. She glances up at me with a worried expression. I still don’t respond, and she turns her worried gaze to Dalton. He just shakes his head and focuses on his task.
I don’t want to answer her questions. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to do anything but find my brothers. It is all I can do to stay seated while they treat my injuries.
When my wounds have been cleaned, Marley guides me upstairs to a guest room to shower and change. My reflection in the dresser mirror catches my attention. I look like a hot mess after a night of glorious sex followed by a near death experience.
God! Has it really been less than twenty-four hours since Rosco took me to bed? Has it even been twelve? It seems like a lifetime and only seconds at the same time.
Losing my clothes, I step under the warm spray of water.
The moment the water hits me, the dam breaks.
I fall to my knees and sob like my heart is breaking, because it is…
it has. All the fear I’ve been holding onto for my brothers releases, and then the weight of what Rosco and I could’ve been hits me.
I love him, no doubt about it, and I believe he feels the same.
But he isn’t going to allow himself to love me back.
I need to accept it and move on, knowing full well I’ll never be able to.
Trying to argue or fight with him about it is only going to hurt us both, and I know that man has suffered enough.
I can see it in his eyes when he lets his guard down.
I take much longer than truly needed to just wash my body, but I’m trying to cleanse my heart, too, and she’s being a stubborn bitch today. Seems she doesn’t want to be cleansed. She’d rather wallow in the pain and misery of Rosco’s rejection.
Well, too bad, sister. Suck it up, buttercup! We have two young boys depending on us. We have the Italian mafia to take down, no time for wallowing.
Nicky and Ricky are depending on and need me to be strong, to find them and set them free. After about fifteen minutes of self-pity, I pull myself together and begin to wash my hair, while rebuilding the walls around my heart. I’d let the Robertson’s tear them down, but it’s reconstruction day.
It’s not going to be easy, there’s a lot of debris and rubble, but I’ve never been a quitter. With the exception of Rosco. I won’t fight for him, because I know it’s a lost cause. I have more important things to consider. My brothers and how to get and keep them safe for starters.
When I’m fully dressed again, I head downstairs to find, Dalton, Jason, and Matthew are in the dining room along with Luke.
“How are you?” Luke asks when he sees me hovering at the entrance to the dining room.
“I’m fine,” I reply with my usual answer. He gives me a look that says he doesn’t believe me, but he doesn’t push for more.
“Are you all right, Jason?” I ask before launching into the questions I really want to ask him. Like, ‘how did you let this happen?’ Or ‘what do you know? Where are they? Help me find them!’
“I’m okay, Rachel, thanks for asking,” Jason replies.
“I’m so damn sorry. It’s all my fault. I promised you they’d be safe, but they were on us before we knew what was happening.
” I nod, because what else can I do? Jason can’t change what happened.
None of us can. All we can do now is focus on getting them back.