Chapter 35 Rachel
RACHEL
His words are music to my ears and daggers to my heart at the same time. Words I’ve wanted to hear so badly, but never thought I would. They’ve stolen my breath, caused my heart to race, and my mind to freeze. Now what do I do? What do I say?
I should be angry with him. He let me walk away. He didn’t fight for us. He didn’t keep the boys safe when he promised they would be protected. Yet how can I be angry?
There’s no way I could’ve prevented Vena from killing me and taking the boys on my own, and I’ve had six years of practice in evading him. So how can I expect Rosco to prevent it when he wasn’t even there. He was risking his life to keep me alive.
Not only that, but I’d known all along Rosco would push me away when the feels got to be too much. He did exactly what I expected after we’d had the best night of my life. He doesn’t…or he hadn’t felt worthy of having someone love him. I knew that. If there’s anyone to be upset with, it’s myself.
I’d let myself hope, to dream of a life that could never be. It’s a dangerous move for someone on the run. Yet here we are. Him, declaring his love for me and asking me to give him a chance. And me, God! I want to give in! I want to believe it will all work itself out, but will it?
Knowing what I now know about my family, about Uncle Nicolai, gives me hope, but as much as I love Rosco, without my brothers, life wouldn’t be the same. I could never be happy knowing the life they’re being forced to live.
“Ros—”
“Ang—”
We both begin to speak, then cut off at the same time, chuckling nervously.
“Ladies first,” Rosco says. I take a deep breath and lick my dry lips.
Words need to be said, but I’m not sure what to say, where to begin.
Rosco picks up a cup of water sitting on my bedside table.
He holds the straw to my lips, and I take a few sips of the cool water, stalling the inevitable.
At last, I have no other options but to speak.
“Rosco, I’m sorry I took off without talking to you first.” I look up at him to see his reaction to my words. His normal scowl is absent. The soft look on his face makes him even more handsome, if that’s possible. “I thought I was doing what was best for everyone.”
“I know. There’s no need for you to apologize, angel.” Rosco takes my small hand in his much larger one. “I’m the one who should apologize to you. I thought I was doing what was right for you, but all I did was hurt you.
“We both made mistakes. We both said or left unsaid and did or didn’t do things we wish we could change, but we can’t. It’s in the past. Where it belongs. All we have is now. This is something I’m trying to accept.”
“What’s changed?” I ask, when he pulls my hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to the palm of my hand. He frowns down at me. “Why are you talking like we might have a future?”
“When I got to Luke’s and you weren’t there, I was devastated. I’d convinced myself that I could protect you, make sure you were safe, then let you go because that is what would be best for you. But when you weren’t there, I felt hollow.
“Then Detective Atwood informed us that your van had been found on the side of the road with blood on the shattered windshield, but you were nowhere to be found. It felt like my heart stopped beating. I couldn’t breathe.
The need to find you and know you were okay was overwhelming.
Bo had to hold me back from running off half-cocked.
“I know I’ve been a fool. I see that now. Bo told me something the day Luke and Marley got married. It’s been playing over and over in my head, and I’m finally beginning to believe it.”
“What did he tell you?”
“He said, ‘Don’t deny your woman the man she needs just because you don’t feel worthy. The love and care you give her is what will make you worthy of her love.’
“I do love you, angel. I want to show you every day how wonderful you are and how much I need you in my life. I failed you before, but if you’ll give me a second chance, you’ll never doubt how much you are loved and wanted. I won’t push you away again.”
“Are you certain?” I ask as tears fill my eyes. “I can’t go through that again. I knew you were going to push me away when we got too close. I thought I’d prepared myself for it, but when it happened? It was so much worse than I’d thought it would be, because I’m in love with you, too.”
Rosco’s eyes widen with shock, quickly followed by relief.
“Yes, Rachel. I’m certain.” He presses his forehead to mine. “I’ll never hurt you like that again.” I nod and sigh as all the stress from the day eases a little more.
“All we can do now is move forward…together?” The uncertainty in his voice is new. He’s always so in command of every situation. I didn’t expect this from him. He lifts his head to hold my gaze and await my answer.
His chocolate eyes are like an open window to his soul. He doesn’t shutter his emotions behind the walls where he normally hides. His love for me and the fear that I won’t agree are on display, front and center.
As fearful as I am about the future and what it will hold, I love this man. I need him in my life. Running had been foolish. Even if I’d managed to get the boys away before Vena found us, I would have come back or withered away from a broken heart.
“Yes,” I answer. “Together.” The smile that graces his face is gorgeous and blinding. It feels like my heart will explode out of my body from the love I feel flowing between us.
Rosco leans over, kissing me ever so gently, but I don’t want gentle.
I want him. I can feel him start to pull away, so I grip his head, holding him where I want him as I take over the kiss, deepening it, demanding entry into his mouth.
He obliges me. The kiss turns wild, a battle of wills, much like it was in his bed when he fucked me.
I want that again, every day for the rest of my life. I pull back, panting. “I…I love you.”
“I know,” he says with an annoying cocky grin on his face. I glare at him which only draws laughter from him. “I love you, angel. I’ve been in love with you from the first moment I laid eyes on you. I was just too afraid to admit it.”
I can’t be upset with him anymore, not after hearing those words from his lips. He kisses me again, plundering my mouth, giving me a promise of what will happen when I’m healed, and we are alone once more.
The door to my room opens, and we break apart as Uncle Nicolai enters the room with a scowl on his face. I’m thinking he’s upset that I’m kissing Rosco, until he speaks and confuses the hell all out of me.
“The boys are missing.” I’m puzzled by his words. We already knew this, but he’s saying it like it’s a new development.
“What do you mean?” Rosco asks before I can. “Vena has the boys. We saw them with him on video surveillance.” I’m nodding my agreement as I remember the incident at the truck stop.
“He had them,” Nicolai corrects. “He just called demanding I return them to him immediately.”
“Why is he calling you?” I can’t fathom what’s happening. Vena no longer has the twins?
“I asked him the same thing. He flew them to Chicago from a private airport not far from Richmond,” Nicolai says. “Vena said they were on their way home when the boys disappeared.”
“Disappeared?” I question. “He took them. Has he lost his mind?” Nicolai makes a face.
“I asked him the same thing,” Nicolai says with a grin. “He finally admitted the boys overpowered his bodyguard and got away. They were last seen near the Lincoln Park Zoo.”
They got away. I can’t begin to process what this means. They fought their father and freed themselves, but now they’re on their own in an unforgiving city. Anything could happen to them. Vena finding them again is far from the worst thing that could happen to them. We have to find them!
“If he doesn’t have them, then where are they?” My eyes are darting between Rosco and Nicolai. One of them needs to know the answer. Rosco pulls out his phone, placing a call.
“Hey, how’s it going?” Kelvin’s voice comes from the speaker.
“We have a problem,” Rosco begins.
“Fuck! I knew I shouldn’t have told you that Caprice was willing to meet,” Kelvin grumbles into the phone. “Fucking mafia…can’t be trusted. What do you need?” The clackity-clack of his fingers on the keyboard can be heard over the line. Uncle Nicolai is glaring in our direction.
“Caprice isn’t the problem,” Rosco replies. “He’s actually standing right here.” The clacking stops abruptly.
“Seriously?”
“Yep.”
“Damn, stuck my foot in my mouth again, didn’t I?”
“Yep.” Bo joins the conversation from the door.
“The twins are missing,” Rosco interjects, trying to steer the conversation back on track.
“Not news,” Kelvin says in a bored tone. “I’m doing everything I can to track them. Vena left on a charted flight to Chicago. I’m trying to get footage from the airport, but it’s not easy.”
“They made it to Chicago,” Bo announces. “The twins freed themselves, according to Vena, but they’re in the wind. We need to find them before Vena or someone worse does.”
“What? How do you know all this?” Dalton’s voice is now the one on the line.
“Vena thought Caprice might have them since he has Rachel,” Rosco answers.
“They don’t have their phones, I.D.s, or any money,” I whisper as that reality hits me. “I doubt they have any friends left they can trust. We have to get to Chicago!” I push against Rosco’s hold, but he refuses to let me out of bed.
“I could call Branch,” Kelvin suggests. Bo and Rosco look at one another, but I don’t understand their silent communication.
“You should check with Luke first,” Bo says, “It’s been a long time since we’ve asked him for a favor.”
“Who’s Branch?” I look back and forth between them.
“Our Uncle.” They both say at the same time.
“He’s former Black Ops,” Rosco continues like he’s trying to convince the rest of them that calling him is a good idea. “He won’t have any difficulty handling Vena.”
“Then what are you waiting for? Fucking call him!” I demand, loudly, causing my head to throb once more.