Unlucky You

Chapter 1

ONE

Grand.

Four years. Eight months. Twenty-two days.

“You gonna come by today?”

I sat on my bed, head lowered to the floor, staring at my bare feet. There was so much I needed to get done but I had very little motivation to start my day.

“Yeah, it won’t be until later though. I need to get some stuff done around here.”

“Is there anything I can help with? You know I don’t mind…”

She couldn’t see my face but I shook my head anyway. “No, Ma. I’m good. You’ve done enough.”

Raised my son for almost five years.

Made sure I had a roof over my head and money to get by when I came home.

My mother loved me and wanted to make this transition as easy as possible but she didn’t understand how hard it was for me to be dependent. The more she did, the worse I felt. I couldn’t communicate those feelings because she was so damn selfless that she would always say, “You’re my son, Grand. I will always give my last to make sure you’re good.

That was the problem; it broke me down each time she had to give.

“Baby…”

“Ma, I’m straight. Let me figure things out and I’ll do my best to get by there today.”

“Okay. He wants to see you. Been asking about you.”

“Yeah?”

“He has and I need you to stop all those unnecessary thoughts you keep getting hung up on. That baby doesn’t care about all the things you worry yourself with. He doesn’t need you to have your life together or have it all figured out. He just needs you, Grand. He’s been without you for so long. All that matters is you being present.”

Another gut punch.

Four years and eight months.

That was how much time I’d missed. I couldn’t make up for not being around but I would spend the rest of my life trying.

“I know, Ma. I’ll get by there. How’s he doing?”

Two weeks had passed since I regained my freedom. I hadn’t seen my son yet. I wasn’t ready to see him now but my mother wouldn’t let me keep avoiding the inevitable. I felt like a failure. I wanted to be something when he laid eyes on me and I wasn’t there yet.

“Good. My baby is so smart. His teachers want to move him up a grade…”

My brows pinched. “Nah, don’t let ’em do that. That’s gonna force him to grow up faster than he needs to, trying to compete with those older kids. Just let him take some advanced classes or something but he needs to be with kids his own age. His friends.”

“Whatever you decide is fine, baby. Not my decision to make anymore. I already told Mrs. Gleason I needed to talk it over with you.”

It wasn’t really my decision to make. She knew him best. She was there with him daily but my mother had been adamant about me stepping into my role as his father. I was still struggling with doing so. I had my own demons and they wouldn’t disappear because my time was served.

A life sentence .

That was what I’d condemned myself to.

“Preciate that, Ma. I’ll be by there soon.”

“Okay, baby. I love you and you hang in there. You’re gonna be alright.”

I smiled and it was genuine. The way this woman loved me was enough most days. Not always, because I was still struggling internally, but I would take what I could get.

“Love you too.”

…but I’m never going to be alright.

As soon as I ended the call, another one came through. I frowned at the screen when I recognized the number and hit ignore. My PO was doing too fucking much. In the past two weeks, she had been blowing up my phone with texts and photos, telling me it was just a little something to keep me occupied.

Since the day she was assigned to my case, she had been trying to sit on my dick. The shit was annoying because the only thing I was currently focused on was figuring out my life and building a relationship with my son. I even asked to be switched to a new person and whatever she told them got me denied. With a building irritation, I jerked a hand down my face, exhaling my frustration.

I tossed the phone on the bed, stood, and extended my arms over my head to stretch my back. My mattress wasn’t the best but it was damn sure better than what I had been acclimated to for the past five years. That also accounted for my apartment. It was a small, one bedroom, one bath, nothing special. The only thing I had so far was a queen bed on a frame, no headboard because it wasn’t a set, just a bed. A long dresser was positioned on the wall across from it and a small wooden chair sat in the corner of the room that belonged to the tiny dinette set next to the kitchen.

My living room was basic as hell too with a small, microfiber loveseat, forty-eight inch TV which sat on a cheap wooden stand, and folding trays.

Either way, I was grateful. It was mine. My mother paid the rent for two months to get me in the place and had the furniture delivered the day I was released. That was all I would allow her to do and as soon as I had the money, what she paid was going back into her account.

I was grateful, but still, I was a man and needed to stand on my own.

A man who lost everything.

Instead of traveling down that road, I got dressed for the day in jeans, a t-shirt, and Nike running shoes. Simple shit, but again, I was grateful. Using the money my mother had hit me with, I picked up a few things, mostly necessities.

I still had the things she kept for me after I was locked up, so I wasn’t completely destitute, but my priorities changed. The only thing I really cared about was being a father to my son, which meant supporting him financially. I also wanted to make sure my mom was good. I was grateful she’d stepped up. I prayed every day, thankful that my son had her in his life because she was all he had.

I was home now, so he had me too. I simply needed to get some things situated so I could be the father he deserved.

I looked at the folded paper and checked the address once more. There was nothing printed on the building but according to the GPS on my phone I was at the right location. I called the number listed and leaned back, staring at the abandoned building.

“Who’s this?” a male voice answered, sounding annoyed.

“My name is Grand. Travis gave me this number and address. Said I could reach out to you to make some quick money.”

“You here?”

“Yeah, just pulled up.”

The line went silent.

“What type of shit is this?” I murmured.

Whoever the guy was hung up. I was seconds from leaving when I noticed the metal door to the abandoned building swing open and a guy who had me by about six inches and another fifty, possibly sixty, pounds stepped into the sunlight. He narrowed his eyes on my windshield then waved me over.

I wasn’t sure if I trusted any of this shit, but at the moment, I needed money. I was a convicted felon. Manslaughter was still murder in the eyes of most; so there weren’t going to be endless offers from people wanting to employ me. I had to use what I could. I snatched up my phone, stepped out of my Charger, which I was grateful my mother had held onto, and crossed the empty parking lot, stopping a few feet shy of the guy waiting.

“Travis let me know you would be coming by. No discussion about what we do here on the phone. Only in person and if anyone comes around looking for you, bringing shit to my establishment, then you’ve got problems. The kind most people don’t like having, understood?”

My jaw clenched in aggravation but this had to work.

“Yeah.”

Internally, my response was fuck you and whatever you think you can do to me doesn’t matter. The worst had already been done, but again, I needed the money so I played along for now.

“Follow me. We can talk inside.”

The dimly-lit building wasn’t appealing. Not even when we took the stairs to the basement level where there was an open space with cinderblock walls, concrete floors, and three massive, metal rolling doors. This space used to be some sort of loading area. There were metal chairs scattered about, lining one of the walls, and a dry erase board that had to be about eight feet long affixed to a wall. Names were scribbled in a list, six total. Each one crossed out with one circled. Crash .

“He’s the guy to beat,” sounded from beside me. I nodded but didn’t respond about the fighter. Whoever Crash was would be beat.

“How does this work?” I questioned.

“Simple, you fight, you win. You win, you keep fighting. Last man standing at the end of the night gets the pot.”

“You only get paid if you beat everyone?”

“You get paid for the fights you win, just not as much. Five hundred per fight for you until you make a name for yourself.”

“You mean until you know whether or not you can make money off me.”

“I take all the risk. This shit is not sanctioned but you know that. Cops show up, I have to pay to make them forget what they saw.”

“They show up often?”

Last thing I needed was to get caught up with underground fighting. The courts would drag my ass right back to prison and throw away the key, considering my charges.

“I pay enough to keep them away but that doesn’t always work. If they show, I pay to make sure no one leaves in cuffs, which is why you don’t get as much per fight when you’re new. Essentially, you’re paying insurance.”

“You offering medical help to your fighters?” I knew what he meant by insurance. Just wanted him to say it out loud. Insurance that I didn’t go to jail.

“No, I’m ensuring you don’t end up behind bars again. Travis filled me in on your background. Fighting will be an issue for you.”

I glared in irritation at Travis speaking on me and this guy bringing it up and he added, “If you’re good, you make money. If you make money, I raise your payout.”

“How many wins before that happens?”

“Depends.”

“On what?”

“How much the crowd likes you. But if you’re the last man standing at the end of the night, the payout is never less than five grand. You get half for now. After you prove yourself, you keep it all, minus my twenty percent.”

I did the math in my head. Six months would set me up with enough cash to get into a two-bedroom, pay the rent, and buy what Raiden needed to be comfortable. At my mother’s house he had his own room, a yard to play in, toys, and shit I couldn’t afford right now. This was a quick fix to an ongoing problem, financial stability, but not something I wanted to do long term. It was too risky.

My eyes circled the room. “What else you get?”

He chuckled. “The bar and entry, but again, I’m the one consuming all the risk and expenses. All you have to do is fight. You want in or not?”

“Yeah, I’m in but all I want is the last fight.”

“That’s not how this works.”

“Understood but if I only take the last fight and I get my ass handed to me, I’m the one who loses. I walk away with nothing.”

As he stared at me, I could see him processing. It didn’t affect him one way or another but I would be one less fighter he had to hand over a payout to.

“If that’s a risk you’re willing to take, then I’ll agree. From what I heard, there’s a good chance you’ll win.”

I didn’t react other than to further confirm I understood the odds. “I’ll take the last fight.”

He smiled too eagerly when I agreed. Travis hadn’t only connected us, he’d told him how lethal my hands were. Fighting in prison was a way to keep people away from me. It also served as an outlet. After beating the shit out of a few of the guys bare knuckled, most of the inmates kept their distance. A few got too cocky, but it never ended well. I occasionally allowed a few to think they could take me down. The pain from their hits was a reminder. She was gone, it was my fault. I wouldn’t get over the loss.

“Good, be back here Friday at nine. First fight is at ten. If you think about telling anyone about this, don’t. Invite only. My invite.”

“I don’t have anyone to tell,” I murmured.

“Everybody has someone.”

“I don’t,” I stated with certainty. My mother, my son. That was it and they would never know about this. It was a temporary fix to a situation I had no control over. A few fights was a lot better than manual labor that wouldn’t pay shit. I just needed to stack some cash until I could figure out what was next.

“Then you’re the best type of fighter there is. Nothing to lose.”

I didn’t bother disputing his assertion. “If that’s all, I’m gonna head out.”

“I’m Rix.” He extended a hand to formally introduce himself. I noticed he hadn’t done that until he had my decision. Smart man. I accepted his hand and we shook. “Tell the guys at the door you’re fighting. They give you any trouble, tell them to come find me.”

“Got it.”

I turned to leave when he spoke again. “And I suggest you bring your A game. If you don’t impress me, it will be your first and last time in my ring.”

I snorted but didn’t turn to acknowledge the comment. I left.

“Are you eating?” My mother looked me over like I was wasting away. In the past five years I’d put on about twenty pounds, most of it muscle. There wasn’t much to do with my time other than workout and read, but she needed something to fuss over with me, so this was it.

I smirked and kissed my mother on the cheek. “Yeah, Ma. I’m eating. I’m not trying to hear your shit if I don’t.” She lifted her chin and glared at me and my smile expanded. “Relax, you know I’m right.”

“I didn’t know caring about my son was a sin,” she fussed.

“It’s not, just as long as you remember I’m grown.”

“Grown but still my baby. Always my baby, Grand.”

“I know, Ma.”

I did a quick scan around the living room and felt my mother’s hand on my arm. When my eyes lowered, she smiled softly. “He’s out back.” She paused and the smile reached her eyes. “Waiting on you.”

I nodded and brushed a hand over my head, gripping the back of my neck. This was the hard part. I’d lost close to five years with my son. I was the reason he no longer had his mother. That shit was a hard reality to deal with, but I had to make things right. I had to be enough for both of us, his mother and me. Not that I could ever replace what she would have been in his life, but I was damn sure gonna try to make up for the loss.

“Stop that. You’re overthinking. It’s simple with him. You weren’t here and now you are. He loves you, Grand.” My mother's firm tone had me nodding and exhaling again.

“He doesn’t know what I cost him.”

“ You didn’t cost him anything. Now stop all this and get to know your son.”

Each step toward the back of my mother's house felt like torture. I wanted this and felt like I didn’t deserve him at the same time. The conflict was weighted and that only increased the minute I stepped out back and found Raiden sitting on his knees, leaning back on his heels with two massive toy trucks in front of him. He was staring so intently that it put a smile on my face. This kid was my twin through and through but at that moment he reminded me of his mother. The way she would study things and be so lost in her thoughts that she shut out the world around her.

“What’s not working for you?”

His eyes shot up to mine and they narrowed while he studied me instead of the trucks. His voice was firm when he spoke but softer than I expected. But what the fuck could I expect, I didn’t know him. “These are dump trucks and I don’t have a road or anything for them to carry. Kinda pointless.” He shrugged.

And I chuckled.

“It’s your truck. It can carry just about anything, and you don’t need a road.”

“Yes I do?”

“Nah, you don’t. Just pretend they’re in the forest carrying wood. The trees people cut down.”

“Can’t do that if I don’t have trees.”

“You gotta use your imagination, kid. You want me to help you find some?”

His eyes lifted to mine and he squinted because the sun was behind me. I stepped closer, blocking the glare. “Yes, you can help me.”

I nodded and glanced around the yard before heading to the back where there was a cluster of small trees. I broke a few branches, snapped them in half, and carried them back to where he was seated. I lowered to a squatted position and dumped the broken branches into the metal tin on the back of the plastic trucks and pointed. “Now you have something to carry.”

He grinned, exposing missing teeth. What looked like two at the bottom and a couple at the top. All spaced out. Cute as shit. He stood and brushed his hands over his jeans, moving closer. “You’re my dad, right?”

“Yeah.”

My heart clenched with what he might say next but then I almost fucking lost it. “Can I have a hug? I never got to hug you before.”

A wave of emotions swallowed me while I offered a tight nod and opened my arms, welcoming him in. When he threw his around my neck, I felt right. My world shifted and I barely got the words out but managed.

“I missed you, kid.”

“I missed you too. A lot,” he said quietly into my chest. I hugged him tighter, not wanting to let him go, but he eventually wiggled away, offering that damn smile again.

“What else can we carry?”

We…

“I don’t know. Let’s see what we can find.”

He extended a hand and I stood, covering his with mine, letting him drag me along. I would go wherever the fuck he wanted me to go, for the rest of my life. “Nana has rocks in her garden over there. She won’t let me touch them but if you get them, I might not get in trouble.”

I belted out a laugh. The kid was already hustling me. But he could get that. “Sounds like you’re setting me up.” I looked down and he shrugged and smiled.

“I’m not.”

“Yeah, you are, but that’s okay, for now.”

I spent the next few hours watching him, listening to him talk about whatever he wanted to—school, cartoons, not liking vegetables but how my mother made him eat at least two bites, the way he only listened because she wouldn’t give him dessert if he didn’t. I hung on every word because each one fucking mattered. I couldn’t get back what I’d lost but I could make the most of what he was offering now.

By eight, he’d taken a bath, then we watched videos on his iPad until he fell asleep tucked against my side, but not before making me promise that I wouldn’t go away for a long time anymore. I made that promise and intended to keep it.

“You can stay if you want?” My mother stood next to the sofa watching the two of us like her world was complete. It might have been but mine wasn’t. I only had half my heart. Couldn’t get the other half back.

“No, I have something I need to do.”

“Like what, Grand?”

“You can’t police my moves, Ma. I have to figure shit out. I promise, I will and I won’t put you in the same position again.”

“You didn’t put me in a position, Grand, you did that to yourself.”

“I did, but I also put you in one too. You had to raise him.” I brushed a hand over my head and looked at her.

“I would have rather it been you and Aleah raising him but I don’t mind at all. He’s my grandson.”

My mood shifted. “Yeah, well, I fucked that up.”

“Grand…” she asserted and when my eyes lifted to hers she continued, “It’s not your fault. You have to stop beating yourself up over things you can’t change.”

“She was there because of me. It’s my fault.”

“You didn’t drug her. You’re not the reason we lost her. Stop blaming yourself for things that were out of your control. You have to move beyond the past, for him. He needs you here. All of you and so do I.” Her eyes softened, pleading, and I exhaled a sigh, carefully sitting up and pulling away from Raiden. Once I was standing, I lifted him into my arms so he was against my chest. He dropped his head on my shoulder but his arms hung loosely at his sides.

“I’m here. That’s all I can promise for now but I’m working on it.” I leaned down and kissed her cheek. “I’m going to put him in bed before I head out. You need anything?”

“I need for you to be okay.”

“I’m good, Ma.”

As good as I can be.

After I got Raiden settled in his room, I stood over his bed watching him sleep. Everything about my world was different now. I missed his mother so much it hurt but there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to rectify the situation or the loss. My mother was right; I had to be okay for him. He needed me but not more than I needed him.

I left his room and approached the living room to the sound of another male voice. I frowned at first but recognized the familiarity of his tenor the closer I got to the living room.

Tali.

“I would have been here sooner but my client ran late.”

“You called him?” My voice had two sets of eyes on me but mine remained on my mother.

“Yes, but not for you. Your cousin has been helping out with things.”

“What kind of things?” My eyes left my mother and landed on Tali.

“Whatever she needed, cuz. I made you a promise and I kept it. I looked out for your mother and Raiden, but you’re home now, so I’ll fall back.”

He stared at me, waiting for me to decide how I wanted to deal with yet another thing I couldn’t control. Another man being there for my mother and son. “I appreciate you keeping your word.” I approached and extended a hand. He grinned and pulled me into a hug.

“Welcome home, family.”

“I’ll let you two catch up.” Her eyes bounced between us and I nodded, pulling her into a hug.

“I’m gonna head out. I’ll come by tomorrow.”

“Okay, good night.”

“Night, Ma.” I kissed her cheek and let her go.

“You two stay out of trouble,” she warned with a smile but I felt the weight of her words.

“You don’t have to worry about us, Auntie Liz.”

She delivered a glare to Tali who returned a charming smile. He was full of shit; that much hadn’t changed.

“Lock up. You have your key?”

“Yeah…”

We both replied in unison and my chest tightened a little. She nodded and left. Outside, I leaned against the trunk of my car while he leaned against the hood of his truck since Tali was parked behind me.

“I won’t ask if you’re good. I know you’re not but I will ask what you need.”

I appreciated that he understood the situation and me.

“Nothing for now.”

“How you eating? What’s the plan?”

I chewed on the thought for a minute. Tali and I were close. Our mothers were sisters who were very close until his mother passed about a year before I was locked up. He had been raised more or less like my brother since our mothers spent so much time together. I trusted Tali. He wouldn’t judge my decisions.

“I have something lined up.”

“Yeah, what’s that?”

“You heard of Matrix?”

“The underground fight club?” He frowned and I nodded.

“You’re gonna do that shit?”

“They offer decent money and it’s not like I have a lot of other options where I can take care of myself until I figure some shit out. I’m not going to rely on my mother. She’s done enough already. It’s better than hitting the streets.”

“Neither one is fucking legal, Grand.”

I shrugged. “Fighting isn’t as bad as the alternative. Plus, they have shit in place to work around those problems.”

“Rix also uses the fights to single out people he wants to use as muscle. I’ve heard some pretty bad shit about the things his guys are into. You can’t risk that. Things are not like they were before. This isn’t the same shit Moses was into. Matrix is high dollar.”

“I’m not working for him. Just the fights and six months tops.”

“You sure you want to go down that road?”

“What the fuck else can I do, Tee? I’m a felon. Manslaughter is still murder and they don’t care about the details. I’ll find something but it might take a while. Whatever I do moving forward is going to be something where I don’t have to play by corporate rules. I don’t know what that is yet but I can’t sit on my ass until I figure it out. I need money. I have a son. I owe my mother…” My eyes met his. “I owe you .”

He frowned hard as hell. “Nah, you don’t owe me shit. Not a gotdamn thing, Grand. We’re family.”

I still had a debt to pay, and I would.

“This is temporary but it’s what I’m doing.”

“Then I’m there.”

“You can’t be. Invite only.”

“Fuck that, you’re there then I’m there. You can’t beat the shit outta of muthafuckers and watch your back at the same time. You win the fights; I’ll make sure you’re good.”

I smirked and shook my head. “How do you know I’ll win? It’s been years since you’ve seen me fight.”

“I heard about you in there. Not much has changed. You’re gonna win because that’s who you are and I’ll be there.”

“One condition.”

“What’s that?”

“Fifteen percent of what I win is yours.”

“I don’t want your money, Grand.”

“You were here when I couldn’t be. I need to do this.”

He looked away and nodded. “Okay, I fuck with that. When?”

“Friday at ten.” I dug my phone out of my pocket and handed it over. “New number, save yours and I’ll let you know where to meet me.”

He typed his number in and handed the phone back. “I’m about to head out. Got a few things to get into before I head home.” The way he grinned I knew what those things were. Women.

“Unless you wanna roll.”

I shook my head. “Nah, I’m good.”

His expression was grim before he moved away from his car and pulled me into a hug, clasping his fist against my back. “I’m glad you’re home, cuz.”

“Shit me too.” I chuckled and he stepped back.

“I’m out. Friday.”

“Friday.”

I tossed my chin as he disappeared into his car and backed out the driveway. After one last look at my mother’s house, I got in my Charger and was on my way home. I wanted my son with me, but I had a lot to get right before that could happen. Tonight I planned on downing a few drinks in a crowded place to drown out the thoughts in my head. The ones that haunted me night after night. Then maybe I could get some sleep.