21. Ned #2
Yes. Jen’s right. If Ned is going to end up with anyone, Abbot is the right choice.
Of course he is, which Ned has always known on some level.
This is just putting words to what’s always simmered beneath the surface for them: They’re it for each other.
All they’re doing is speeding up their timeline, and…
well, there’s something exciting in that.
Some security that they’d have gotten here anyway, that later was hurtling toward them unannounced, but not necessarily unwanted.
“I’m really happy to get to tell you this,” Ned says and he is, he finds, all his nerves coalescing into something a lot closer to joy than to the panic he’s used to feeling.
It puts a smile on his face, a real one, and he reaches for her hand, her finger wet with whipped cream. “Abbot and I are getting married.”
Peggy looks at him. She chews her bite of cake, with her mouth closed at least. “Why?”
“Um.” Because of Chris fucking Hausman. Because Ned can’t be without a job.
Because his and Abbot’s relationship had been built on a ruse, though they found something real beneath the subterfuge.
And a real future together. He squeezes her warm, wet little hand.
“Because we love each other, and we want to officially be a family.”
Yes, that sounds right. It sounds nice, at least.
Quickly, he adds, “It doesn’t change anything with Mom, okay? She knows about it, and she’s really excited too. And it doesn’t change anything with you. We’re not making a new family, we’re adding Abbot to you and me, okay?”
She tugs her hand back so she can dig her fork into her cake again. “And Baxter.”
“Yes, and Baxter,” Ned says. This is going well. Right? “We’ll be married like your mom and I were married.” No, wrong direction. “But we’re not planning to not be married. Like your mom and I are now. We’ll stay married.”
“Really?” she asks, and damn if first grade isn’t apparently preparing her for hard-hitting life questions.
“As far as I know,” he says. “We’re saying that Abbot will be in your life long-term, okay? Permanently. Like I am, and like Mom, and Grandma and Grandpa and Uncle Pat.”
“Oh.” She dips her bite of cake straight into the whipped cream on her drink. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Can I get more cake?”
No, he absolutely should say.
“Finish that and we’ll see,” he says, which they both know means yes.
So he carries a little box of leftovers she couldn’t fit into her stomach to the car, and tosses out his coffee, waiting for the barrage of questions.
They don’t come, not as he checks that she’s buckled in, and not as he drives them home.
He’s ready, or as ready as he can be. So you aren’t marrying Mom again, he’s sure she’ll ask, the sway of the car lulling forth her curiosity.
But a day of school and a pile of cake seems to have settled her into silence as he pulls up to the house.
“Abbot’s here,” he reminds her, like he does whenever he’s over.
It has seemed less important recently, the more used to his presence she’s gotten in the last couple months, the fact that sometimes when she’s with Ned Abbot’s also there, and sometimes he’s not.
But tonight feels momentous, like the dam of her calmness will break when she sees him.
Are you going to have babies? she’ll wonder and he grips the wheel, bracing himself for the accompanying How?
But she just hands her cooled hot chocolate to Ned as she pulls off her shoes, then takes it back as she walks into the kitchen in her socks, running a few steps and sliding on the tile.
“Careful,” Ned says, and she does it again as if he hadn’t spoken.
“Hello,” Abbot says, quickly standing up from the table.
“We’re back,” Ned says, needlessly.
Peggy stares up at him, both hands around her paper cup.
Ned sees a bigger emotion in her expression, something larger she’s processing, even if she’s not ready to talk about it yet.
A flare of gratitude rises through him. Thank you, he thinks toward Jen.
They’ll sit down and talk about this, he knows.
Help her through this transition and make sure she understands what’s changing, and how very much will remain the same.
Most of it, really, even if it feels overwhelming for her right now. He can’t blame her. He’s rocked too, and he’s not in first grade.
Their little family will take on a new shape to fit all three of them. Ned looks at Abbot watching her, and Peggy watching him back, and something in his chest goes warm and watery.
“Peggy and I were just talking about how you and I are getting married,” Ned says and his voice doesn’t crack but it’s a near thing.
Peggy looks up at him and Ned smooths her hair back. “Pegs, you can ask any questions you have,” he says, though if she starts in on the baby thing now, he’ll definitely need a drink tonight. “Is there anything you want to say?”
She shakes her head under his hand, still quiet.
Now what? Ned wants to ask. Does he just send her off to play? Go through the normal routine of a school night?
“Peggy.” Abbot squats down so he’s face to face with her. “I wanted to give you this.”
Peggy hands her cup to Ned and slowly takes the small box Abbot holds out.
“It’s for you,” he says. “I’m really excited to be part of your family.”
Oh. This is what’s next. Ned’s throat aches suddenly, a ferocity to the surge in his chest that makes his eyes sting.
Peggy pulls off the bow and opens the box. A small purple dinosaur pendent sits on a gold chain.
She stares down at it. Ned sees a smear of chocolate along her mouth still, her face completely still as she takes it in.
And then she turns around and lifts her hair up and lets Abbot clasp it around her neck, settling it carefully around her cape.
“I love you,” Abbot tells her, his voice soft, and Ned wipes at his eyes with the heel of his hand. “I hope you know that. And I’m very honored I get to be here while you grow up.”
“Okay,” she says, her chin tucked down, pulling the pendant up so she can look at it.
She drops it so it settles on its chain and hugs him quickly, her arms around his neck, then lets him go before he’s barely put his hand on her back, dashing off toward the family room.
Ned walks into where she was as Abbot stands, gathering him up and holding him tight. This is a mess. But so much of Ned’s life is, and the place it’s led is to this man, who is the absolute best thing that has ever happened to him.