Chapter 7
SEVEN
ANONYMOUS
My girl is lost in her own head today, and I can’t help but hope that it’s me she’s thinking about.
Is she like me, and unable to stop replaying every single second of that night?
Does she wish things were different, too? Does she wish she could have more of me like I’m craving more of her?
Does she finally feel the connection between us? Does she feel that pull?
I listen as her friends try to quiz her about what happened the other night, and my jaw clenches when she lies about having a headache.
Why does she not want them to know? Does she regret it? Is she embarrassed?
My hands clench into fists at the thought.
No. She doesn’t regret me.
She doesn’t regret us.
I know she had a good fucking time that night, there’s no way in hell that she wishes it didn’t happen.
Her friends move on to talking about me and the other guys, and I conveniently zone out a little as Gracie says we’re like brothers to her.
Fucking brothers.
Over my dead body am I her brother.
She’ll soon think of me differently. She’ll soon think of me as her everything and not her goddamned fucking brother.
I can’t quite pinpoint when my obsession with her began, since it didn’t just hit me one day that I wanted her.
We were always close growing up, and I guess it just progressed and progressed until I looked back one day and couldn’t remember a day when I didn’t love her.
It’s been hard and unyielding at times, but everything I do, I do for her.
Gracie Aston has always been my sweetest temptation and my biggest weakness.
How I’ve managed to make it this far without anyone picking up on it, I have no goddamn idea.
It’s not as though I can ever look away from her, but the guys probably just think I’m overprotective in the same way they are.
Blind idiots.
I’ve been keeping a closer eye on her these last couple of days, unable to stay away from her for too long.
Not that she knows that, of course. Can’t have her suspecting anything too soon.
I watch as the girls pack their things away, getting ready to head to class and I see the faraway look in Gracie’s eyes.
She’s not paying attention to what’s going on around her, too stuck in her own head to notice anything else.
She better be fucking thinking about me.
I pull out the burner phone I bought yesterday and send her a message asking if she misses me and wait, practically vibrating with anticipation for her to see the message.
She’s almost on autopilot as she checks it, and I can see the emotions running through her as she reads it.
Shock.
Apprehension.
Confusion.
Arousal.
Fear.
I’ve never enjoyed seeing her scared, but I’ve never seen her experience fear because of me, and I have to say, it’s a good look on her.
She tucks her phone back in her pocket without replying, but that’s okay.
She won’t be able to help herself and she’ll text me back eventually.
Until then, I guess I’ll just have to keep watch over her and revel in the way she rereads the message over and over like I know she will.
Good luck forgetting about me, love, because I’m here to stay.
Isigh as I close my bedroom door behind me. The last hour has been torture, being around Gracie, being so damn close to her, and not being able to touch her.
There was a… situation with Cole and Lana, and once Lana left, Gracie only stuck around long enough to give her brother a talking to.
I was hoping she’d be here for longer, but I think something Cole said must have freaked her out, because when she left his room, she was not happy.
Maintaining the act around everyone is even harder now that I know what she feels like against me.
It took all of my strength to keep an appropriate distance between us and not stare at her the entire time she was here.
My girl isn’t stupid. I know that the moment she realizes just how fascinated I am with her as me, she’ll put the pieces together and figure out that it was me that night.
I don’t want that. Not yet, at least.
I need to warm her up a little to me first.
I wipe a hand down my face, wondering if doing all of this will lead me to the life that I want.
I don’t ever want to force her into anything she doesn’t want.
Well, I don’t want to force her, force her.
She might need a little pushing in the right direction, and I’m not unprepared to give her a little shove, but I do still want her to want me and not just be stuck with me.
The idea is horrifying.
But I have faith. In myself. In her. In us.
I have to believe that it will all work out, because if not, it’s not even a question of if I’ll lose my sanity.
I know I will.
I’m already halfway there.
I don’t bother with a shower, I just strip off my shirt and lay down on the bed, grabbing the burner phone as I do.
I open the thread with Gracie, and instead of saying delivered like it has all day, it now says read.
I knew that she had seen the message this morning, but she had never actually opened the text thread… but now she has.
My heart rate picks up.
She’ll have just gotten back to the dorm, is she going to reply? Is she sitting there, her thumb hovering over the keyboard, wondering what to say?
Just as I think my heart might burst with anticipation, the phone vibrates and a message from my girl pops up on the screen.
My Gracie
Who is this?
I chuckle. There’s no way she doesn’t know who’s texting her, the little minx.
You know exactly who it is, babe.
My Gracie
Not sure… it could be anyone.
Just how many guys made you come multiple times while wearing a mask?
My Gracie
Hmm, only a few.
My jaw clenches.
Liar.
If she was seeing other people, I’d sure as fuck know about it.
And put an end to it.
My Gracie
Okay, fine. How did you get my number?
Hmm. Do I lie to make her feel better, or tell the truth and freak her out?
I don’t like lying to her, so maybe just a half truth.
It’s easy to get someone’s number through social media.
My Gracie
You already knew who I was that night, didn’t you?
She must have picked up on my slip of the tongue when I called her by name.
Oops.
I never said I didn’t.
Which is true. We agreed on my identity being anonymous, we never said a word about hers.
My Gracie
You don’t play fair, do you?
All is fair in love and orgasms, babe.
My Gracie
I’m rolling my eyes so hard right now.
I’ll have you rolling them for other reasons soon enough.
My Gracie
I assumed it was a one-time thing?
With you, once will never be enough.